Listen to Ollie sound off!

Guess who this is on the front of the new Plymouth programme?

Ian Holloway gives us the lowdown on the burning issues of the week in his regular column.

This week he voices his disapproval at the traditionally hectic Christmas schedule, which means he'll get to spend little time with his family and explains why he won't be making an appearance on Celebrity X-Factor.

I'll be spending Christmas trying to win some football matches because we've got a 1pm kick-off away at Cardiff on Boxing Day. What an absolute crock of rubbish.

It's madness. Why can't they work it so you play the last Saturday before Christmas and then New Year's Day, with nothing in between? That way you can all have a decent Christmas.

How dear is Christmas anyway? Unless you've got a home and away season ticket, who can afford to watch all those games - and who wants to travel all that way to watch their team on Boxing Day and not be with their family?

I think we're saturated by football, we're bombarded by it and there's more important things sometimes.

I would like nothing more than to be like the rest of my family and chill out over Christmas, have a nice little snooze in the afternoon, eat a little bit too much, drink the odd thing that is a bit 'ooh wait a minute', then on Boxing Day watch a lovely film on the telly - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or something - and have a game of charades.

Ollie has been cruelly denied

When I'm in we normally turn the telly off and play games like Pictionary where you get a word and draw it. Our girls can draw really well so that's quite fun.

And we do the name game where you write any name you like - Homer Simpson or Shere Khan or King Henry VIII - and stick it on your head and try and guess who you are.

Instead I've got to bolt my lunch down on Christmas morning before I leave and then have the cold leftovers when I eventually get back.

I'm sick of it to be honest. I've had however many years in the game and it's never ever made any sense to me.

The last few years I was living in Bristol and working in London and I'd see my kids for about half an hour on Christmas Day. Then we get a few weeks off between May and August and the kids would be at school for most of it.

Two games instead of four at this time of year would make so much sense.

The worst one I ever had was one year we went to Nottingham Forest for a Boxing Day game. We trained on Christmas Day morning and drove up straight afterwards so I didn't see my family at all.

I left at seven in the morning. The next day it was icy and foggy and the game was called off. I didn't get back until half past eight on Boxing Day night, so I missed the whole of Christmas for a game that we never even played. I was absolutely tamping.

'Plymouth Merchant Navy': "I have it on good authority that you were at Paul Wotton's house this week at the players' party. My spies inform me you 'sang' a lovely rendition of Green Army.

Will there be an appearance in the new series of Celebrity X-Factor and could this be the start of a new career after football?

606: DEBATE Ask Ollie a question 606: Have your say

Well he's got that totally wrong. I wasn't at Paul Wotton's party, we were at our own party and I sang Build Me Up Buttercup with a group on stage and I can assure you I've got absolutely no future as a singer at all.

Hopefully I'll either be a manager or a gardener. I had experience of gardening this year and I must admit I prefer management. I'm not that good at gardening, although it's probably only a matter of time before I do it again.

Before I go, I'd like to take the opportunity to wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Interview by Chris Charles.