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Do I not like cricket

The Plymouth boss tells us why he won't be watching the Ashes, his views on video technology and why Plymouth is the best city in the world.

No. I don't like cricket. It takes far too long and if the batsman just blocks it... how boring's that?

I think it's an old man's game. I hated it when I was a kid and I don't like it now. I don't dislike any cricketers, it's just a game I find absolutely earth-shatteringly boring! I can understand the last Ashes were brilliant and I'm sure it's a wonderful game if you like it - but it's not my bag. I like a bit of action.

As I see it, when the bowler bowls the ball, he walks back and the rest of the team, who are standing around not doing much, throw the ball around to each other. Then he gets it back and rubs it on his groin.

I've always been a bit worried about a game that lets its players do that in public. Why you'd want to ruin a lovely pair of white trousers by putting a red crease down the middle on your crotch I'll never know.

"Excuse me, umpire, how was that?"

I played for my school in a tournament once. I was a bowler but I didn't really know the rules. I was bowling all right and if I'd appealed I would have got out the best bloke in the opposite team with my third ball.

I looked at the umpire but because I didn't ask him the question, the bloke carried on batting and he wupped us.

I've hated the game ever since. If you've got umpires there, why do you have to shout for it? You wouldn't have to wait for a referee to blow for a penalty, would you? Everybody appeals for absolutely everything and I didn't know that. I thought it was a load of bull.

I think they should definitely do it. Instead of the fourth official man-marking us lot on the bench, saying 'only two of you can stand up, don't do this and don't go outside that white line', I think they should be looking at the big decisions in the game and talking to the referee about them.

He could review them in two seconds and say that is a penalty, that is a dive, send him off, or that is over the line - like the Tottenham-Man United game last year.

Is that a dive?

We've got the technology in every single game, so they should use it. They do it in cricket with run-outs. It's not going to slow the game down, it'll make it more efficient and it might stop the diving.

I heard Torquay were on about sacking their own players for diving - but that's going from the sublime to the ridiculous. What is going on with that one?

I hope he shows his best side, as long as it isn't too cold! I'd let my players do that if it didn't interfere with training. Why not? You might get a few more ladies turning up. Anything to attract bigger crowds.

And the Full Monty was a great film by the way. They should have let everybody see that for real but they didn't, did they?

Ross-A-Tron: "I am a Plymouth Argyle fan and would like to know what Ollie likes best about Plymouth. He is a massive hit with the fans and this is the most entertaining football I have seen being played at Home Park in 15 years of watching Argyle. Long may it continue!"

Well that's nice of him to say that, although I don't deserve to have people patting me on the back because we haven't done anything yet. But I like the people, I like their passion for their football club, I like their realism and I love their city.

It's a city on the water and it's the most beautiful place I've ever been. I've been to Capri and all of these wonderful places but for me this is amazing and a lot of people who've been here a long time are taking it for granted. It's absolutely stunning.

Secret Sam: "Ian, many moons ago, I was working in a petrol station and you came in. Have you still got that ratty old Beetle or do you have some proper wheels, now you've gone up in the world?"

That ratty old Beetle was the only car I've ever owned that went up in value. So more fool him.

I kept that and sold the better car I had to pay for my wedding and it was the best decision I ever made. I haven't got the Beetle any more but if I could find one as good as that I would definitely buy another one.

I've got a Jag now. Just the one, though, not like John Prescott.

Interview by Chris Charles.