Third Test, Antigua (day four):
England 566-9 dec & 221-8 dec v West Indies 285 & 143-3 (close)
England remain in full control of the third Test after setting West Indies 503 to win and reducing them to 143-3 by the close on day four in Antigua. After the tourists resumed on 31-1, Alastair Cook's 58 helped them to 221-8 declared with over a session remaining. West Indies reached tea on 32-0 but then lost Devon Smith, Chris Gayle and Ryan Hinds in quick succession. The key pair of Ramnaresh Sarwan (47no) and Shivarine Chanderpaul (18no) return to the crease on the final morning. LATEST ACTION (ALL TIMES GMT)  | 606: DEBATE |
e-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with 'For Sam Lyon' in the subject), text 81111 (with "CRICKET" as the first word) or use 606. (Not all contributions can be used) WEST INDIES SECOND INNINGS 2120: Right then, that's it from me - apart from relaying the news from a host of you good readers that turgid comes from the Latin word turgidus, from turgere, meaning 'to swell' - a very good day's play from England I reckon, but will they regret their decision not to enforce the follow on and, should he continue to struggle, how much will they miss Flintoff? You lot are all brilliant, more legendary than King Arthur, Odysseus, Beowolf and Shangri-La combined. Paul Fletcher will talk you through tomorrow, so be nice. Laters. "I think the pitch has slowed down, it's deadened, and that's not great for scoring runs or taking wickets."
Geoff Boycott on TMS 2110 - West Indies 143-3 - STUMPS
Anderson, despite finding a bit of swing late in the day, fails to make what would have been a lovely bonus breakthrough in the final over and the Windies' two most stubborn batsmen - Chanderpaul and Sarwan - will start day five at the crease tasked with steering the good ship West Indies to safety. Given that the hosts remain 359 runs behind, winning the Test might be an order taller than Joel Garner stood on Will Jefferson's shoulders, but on this pitch I wouldn't bet against Shiv and Rammy digging deep and frustrating England tomorrow. 2104 - West Indies 140-3
Pietersen continues but, to be honest, I think he'd be more threatening to the Windies batsmen by getting his missus Jessica to sing the latest Liberty X offerings at them. Sarwan flicks wristily to leg for three and a single later the home batsmen get together to see if they can't persuade Strauss to keep KP on all day tomorrow as well. One over left in the day. 2101 - West Indies 136-3
Sarwan opens his shoulders for once and slashes Anderson up and over slips and away for four - Jimmy A hasn't really got ticking in this spell. That, and a huge no-ball, are the only scoring shots, though. Tremendous scenes from the stands as a, dare I say, middle-aged lady joins enthusiastically in the Barmy Army chants... while knitting a scarf. How cricket is that?! She's even wearing a straw visor and is sporting that sat-in-the-sun-too-long pink look. Great work. 2056 - West Indies 131-3
Chanderpaul, showing Pietersen's bowling all the respect of a sixth-former admonishing a first-year for wearing his school tie too tight, whipping a pie-ball through midwicket for four first up and then clipping him fine down leg for another boundary late in the over. Far too leg-side from Pietersen and that over is probably best forgotten by the part-time spinner. "Re. 20.37: isn't "turgid" just one of the best words in the English language? It look and sounds so right for describing what it is. I'd love to know the etymological roots... in all honesty..."
Richard, Brussels, the grey capital, via the TMS inbox 2052 - West Indies 121-3
Chanderpaul, with that awkward stance of his, is fortunate to avoid a big lbw shout as he just manages to make contact with a Jimmy Anderson in-swinger and it's two singles from the over. Who's up next to bowl? It's only KP! I know what you're thinking... that's just nuts (sorry). "I wouldn't be against giving Kevin Pietersen the ball now, he had Sarwan in trouble a couple of times in the first innings, so it's got to be worth a try."
Geoff Boycott on TMS 2048 - West Indies 119-3
Swann - in his 16th over on the spin - bowls down a maiden and this is quite a shift from the spinner. He hasn't had to work quite this hard since trying to convince people he's "all rock and roll like" at his last Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations gig, bless 'im. 2044 - West Indies 119-3
James Anderson, without a wicket so far in this innings, takes over from Broad after the Notts seamer's very nice spell to this key partnership. Not the best of return overs, two singles coming off it, though, and Jimmy A looks a touch tired it has to be said. 2040 - West Indies 117-3
Another big Swanny shout when Sarwan pads up to another off-spinner, but it's a hugely optimistic one given the batsman is miles outside the line of his stumps. Sarwan responds with a sweet cut off middle stump that had boundary written all over it until Stuart Broad sticks his size 14s in the way. A rare attacking shot, that one. "Living in America is so tough when you read the banter on this page and I think I would love to be back in England."
Aly Joslin via the TMS inbox 2037 - West Indies 114-3
Right, I make it eight overs left in the day but, I'll be honest, I don't know what the rules are with extra half hour and things so for all I know we could be out here til 2130 again like the last two nights. Sarwan cuts a single off Broad to cover for the only scoring shot in that over, and this is more turgid than counting sand on Walton beach at the moment. 2033 - West Indies 113-3
The Antigua Recreation Ground is becalmed - partly because the Windies batsmen have dropped anchor and are playing for the close of play, and partly because the local beer has taken its toll on the England fans, who are fast resembling wilting lobsters in the late-day sun. One from that Swann over. "Sam, whilst I take the point about the great job done in producing a belter of a square (subject to the half-way line) over a weekend, any praise has to be tempered by the fact that the Antiguans were only in this pickle because they had taken a helluva lot longer to produce a cricket pitch resembling Goodrington Sands before that!"
Jez, BVI via the TMS inbox 2030 - West Indies 112-3
Ouch, that has to hurt - Sarwan's piano-playing days may be on hold for a while after Stuart Broad, who is asking the batsmen to play every delivery, raps the batsman on the hand with one that rises a little. Just a single from another good over from the man they call Draco Malfoy. "re: Paul 2017: thats true Paul but in these kinds of situations all it takes is a quick stand of 395 for the match to swing completely."
Sam from London via the TMS inbox 2025 - West Indies 111-3
Swanny is starting to get a bit of tweak, here, and the England players erupt predictably when Sarwan is rapped on the pads hiding his bat - too much left for the ball to do for Koertzen to give it out but worth a try I suppose - and the spinner then finds Chanderpaul's outside-edge, only for the batsman's soft hands to ensure it drops short of slip. Three from the over. 2022 - West Indies 108-3
Stuart Broad is probing away at Sarwan's stumps and when the Windies batsman plays across his pads and just about makes contact to whip one away for a single, Broad buries his head in his hands at how close he came to snaring him lbw. 2017 - West Indies 107-3
Good over for the Windies, that one, Sarwan and Chanderpaul rotating nicely with Swann failing to extract much from the pitch and the former punts the spinner away square of the wicket for four. Seven from the over, Windies now 395 behind. "I just sense now that if we can get another 7 wickets we can go on and win this."
Paul in Lancs via the TMS inbox 2014 - West Indies 100-3
A couple of singles from that Broad over, but nothing too untoward from the seamer. You have to say, even though it's been said many times before, the ground staff have pulled off something akin to a miracle to prepare a pitch as good as this in just two days don't you? 2010 - West Indies 98-3
Shiv Chanderpaul is at the crease and we all know he can harder to remove than wine stains on the carpet... but Swanny almost snares Sarwan at the other end when the batsman pads up to one spinning back in at him. Umpire Rudi Koertzen is having none of it, but replays suggest it was hitting the top of middle stump - a let off. An accurate over ends with Sarwan prodding a couple through mid-on and England tails are up with the hosts still 404 runs behind. "This is now the key partnership for the Windies - if they have any hope of saving this match these two need to bat for ages."
Sportsfan87 on 606
Join the debate "RE 1950 - Sam, change your local! You know it makes sense."
TC, in Pimlico, in the pub via text on 81111 2001 - WICKET! Hinds c Shah b Broad 6, West Indies 96-3
Three overs for Flintoff and he's off - the all-rounder is clearly not fit and you wonder how big a blow that might be tomorrow. Stuart Broad comes back on and Ramnaresh Sarwan welcomes him by kerplunking a cut to the boundary. However, with Ryan Hinds on strike it's a different story and after one keeps low and beats the batsman all ends up, the Windies number four dollies a simple catch to Owais Shah at short midwicket. Awful shot, that, awful. "I tell you, I've seen Steve Harmison close up on the boundary edge and I aint digging them tops at all. What happened to the nice, traditional woven ones? These new ones are rubbish."
Sir Viv Richards on TMS 1957 - West Indies 91-2
Swann, despite his wicket, has not been at his best today so far and, after getting off the mark with a nudge to midwicket for a couple, Ryan Hinds spanks the spinner though the gap at mid-on for four. 1954 - West Indies 85-2
Sarwan breaks the shackles of recent overs with a crunching square cut off a wide Flintoff delivery that almost punches a hole in the advertising hoardings just beyond the boundary rope. Flintoff keeps the number three playing, though, and Sarwan plays a straight bat at the rest of the over. 1950 - West Indies 81-2
It appears the Windies are looking to rebuild as they shut up shop faster than my local pub come 2305, Ryan Hinds - mindful of a host of England players surrounding his bat - playing out a maiden from Swann. 1947 - West Indies 81-2
Flintoff, looking decidedly unwell if you ask me, continues to Sarwan and he is bang on target as usual. In fact, the big man is unfortunate when he gets one to nip a bit off the seam and it misses the edge of Sarwan's bat by a matter of a lick of paint. A maiden. 1940 - WICKET! Gayle lbw Swann 46, West Indies 81-2
Oh that's massive. Three deliveries after Chris Gayle makes Mr Graeme Swann look more ordinary than 2.4 children dressed in beige with a one-handed swat through square leg, the spinner sends him packing as the opener plays all round one on the sweep and umpire Rudi Koertzen rules the ball was going on to hit off stump. Like I say, that's massive. 1939 - West Indies 77-1
Well what do I know - Flintoff is going to have a go, replacing Harmison. Not quite the return Strauss was hoping for, though, as Sarwan tickles one off his pads for four and then punches another boundary through the covers. What an anti-climax - a bit like your dad saying he's going to take you to the football for the first time and you end up at The Emirates Stadium. 1934 - West Indies 69-1
Graeme Swann continues to wheel away and, dangerously, Chris Gayle is starting to pad up to the spinner. A couple of shouts for lbw are turned down but he can't keep shouldering arms with the spinner more than capable of a nice arm ball. 1931 - West Indies 68-1
Gayle and Sarwan look to rotate the strike as Harmison continues and four singles come from the over. All eyes are on Flintoff to see how fit - or otherwise - he is, and I have to report at the moment he looks about as mobile as the old Ford Cortina that has been in my mate's back garden for near-on two decades. Off-colour sky blue it is too, absolutely horrid. The Cortina, not Flintoff. 1927 - West Indies 64-1 Swann continues and, a beautiful Gayle cut for four and a Flintoff mis-field aside, it's a decent over - especially with Sarwan on strike as twice the spinner gets the ball to turn back into him and rap him on the pads. Neither were out with the ball doing too much, but Swanny will like the look of those deliveries. "Re 1913: Hugo, you might find it was a reference to The Who's "Boris The Spider" - highly recommended, by the way..."
Essex Keith via the TMS inbox "Just to add to the debate. A UK Daddy Long Legs tastes of almonds. We used to eat them at school in the 80's."
Mark in Brighton via the TMS inbox 1919 - WICKET! Smith lbw Harmison 20, West Indies 59-1
BREAKTHROUGH! Steve Harmison is the man to force it, getting one back into Devon Smith to keep a bit low and Daryl Harper raises the finger of doom. The only iffy part there was possibly height, but England care not and they needed that even more than Marc et Claude Need Your Lovin' (Like the Sunshine). Ramnaresh Sarwan comes to the crease and sees out the rest of the over. 1916 - West Indies 57-0
Gayle is looking at his languid, imperious, pugnacious best here - and all eight locals who are in the ARG to witness it are loving it. The opener thumps a cover drive to the boundary off Swann right out of page 7 of the 'How to Cover Drive Text Book' and he then sweeps through midwicket for three more and this doesn't look good for England. Not good at all. "When I was a schoolboy we called daddy-long-legs "Boris". I have no idea why, to this day, but under the greatest of peer group pressure, I joined in. And pulled the odd leg off too. I’ve had to live with the remorse ever since."
Hugo, New York, via the TMS inbox 1913 - West Indies 49-0
A couple of singles and not much else from another probing but ineffective Harmison over. 1909 - West Indies 47-0
A lot may be on the shoulders of Graeme Swann this afternoon if the performance of the seamers is anything to go by - but you can't bowl there Swanny... twice on the trot the spinner drops it short and wide and twice on the trot the coolest man in showbiz Chris Gayle punts it in front of square for four. Those two deliveries may as well have been wrapped in paper, tied up with a bow and placed under a Christmas tree on December 24th and Gayle is not one to turn down freebies. "RE: 1842 - British daddy-long-legs are CraneFly (Tipulidae) - and are *not* poisonous. The confusion comes about because a N American species (Pholcidae) shares the same nickname. Pholcidae *are* poisonous."
MG (and about a dozen others, sorry OJ) via the TMS inbox 1904 - West Indies 38-0
Steve Harmison continues but there's still no great demons on show on this pitch and Chris Gayle caps a comfortable over with a beauty of a cut shot, kerplunking the ball square of the wicket for four to make it six from the over. 1900: As I munch on some lasagne and chips, I shall keep you updated on all things cricket (et al) but if football's your thing you can do the two-windows-open-keep-on-track-of-both trick and read along with the adorable Caroline Cheese.
Live - Premier League & Uefa Cup "RE: Daddy Longlegs... They are according to urban legend the most poisonous creature in the British Isles - Poison to Size - they just have no way to deliver the venom. A fitting description of Harmy Perhaps?"
OJ (on air on Kerrang Radio and shouldn't be following the cricket nor emailing... ohhhh time for a link) via the TMS inbox 1842 - West Indies 32-0 - TEA
Time for one more over before tea and, again, Swann causes problems, not least when Smith prods at one with bat and pad and the England players appeal for lbw. Possibly hit the opener outside the line, that one, but I've seen them given... Anyway, the Windies reach tea with all 10 wickets intact and England now have just the four session to bowl out the hosts and level the series. Without Freddie, an already difficult task just got all that much harder... (insert random simile here). 1839 - West Indies 32-0
Harmison's starting to work up some real pace here - not quite Lamborghini, maybe, but definitely a half decent Ford Focus. Devon Smith pulls him away tentatively for a single before 'Grievous' gets one to spit off a length and Gayle does well to keep his defensive prod down. 1834 - West Indies 31-0
Swann wheels away and it's by far the most threatening of the innings so far, his first ball turning nicely past the outside of Chris Gayle's bat and then, fifth ball, the spinner getting one to go on with the arm, prompting a huge lbw appeal. Umpire Rudi Koertzen is not interested with Gayle getting a good ol' stride in, but replays suggest it hit him in front and would have gone on to hit the middle stump halfway up. Hhmm. 1831 - West Indies 31-0
Steve Harmison - picked over Ryan Sidebottom purely on the basis that his extra bounce should get more out of this wicket - comes on and he is tidy enough, even if his six deliveries contain all the threat and venom of a drowzy daddy long-legs. Two singles from the over. 1826 - West Indies 29-0
No great spin at all from Swann's first over of the second innings, but decent flight and drift from Nottinghamshire's finest. Both Smith and Gayle look to be playing at the ball as late as possible and after Smith grabs a single, Gayle earns a couple more runs off his pad. 1822 - West Indies 26-0
As my learned colleague points out, the first hint of misbehaviour off the pitch there as James Anderson gets one to keep low off a length, the ball shooting into the bottom of Gayle's bat and the opener survives. The big man responds with a clip for a couple and then an imperious cut away for four to end the over. You know who's up next doncha... the Swannmeister... "RE your brother's stag do, it isn't actually compulsory to imbibe so much that you are ill for a week afterwards."
John, Amersham via the TMS inbox
(??????????!!!!!?????) "I've got my mates stag do I've had to organise this weekend. We're off to sunny Aberystwyth, shame the cricket will have finished, compare hangovers at the next Test."
Richard H via the TMS inbox
1818 - West Indies 20-0
Devon Smith angles Stuart Broad down to third man to pick up a couple but otherwise it's a circumspect over from the left-hander and the Notts seamer, again, doesn't really do enough to get the opener playing. Time for Harmison? Or Swann? 1813 - West Indies 18-0
A bit better, that, from Jimmy Anderson, who beats the bat a couple of times with Chris Gayle looking a touch tentative, and it's another maiden. 1810 - West Indies 18-0
Well well well, in case anyone had forgotten this pitch is still a bit of a doozy for the most part, Devon Smith pulls two off-drives out of the bag so lovely they'd win 'Best in Show' year on year at the annual 'Nice Off-Drive Awards' concert that I've just made up for the purposes of a ridiculous quip. The first is crashed back past the bowler and the second bludgeoned emphatically through the covers. Jubbly. 1804 - West Indies 8-0
Anderson is a bit here, there and everywhere at the moment and, as he goes for four singles, Steve Harmison starts his stretching routine in the outfield. It's all a bit quiet at the ARG now, the calm before the storm perhaps. I know how they feel too - I've got my brother's stag do this weekend and I've been attempting to keep things quiet on the social front for about two weeks in preparation. I fear, however, that is probably about three weeks too few. 1801 - West Indies 4-0
Stuart Broad mixes things up in his second over in an attempt to get Devon Smith playing, but neither from over nor round the wicket can he find a troubling length or seam and it's another maiden. 1756 - West Indies 4-0
Massive shout as James Anderson gets one to swing back a touch into Chris Gayle's pads and England think they've got their man lbw. Daryl Harper turns the appeal down, though, and replays suggest it was a brilliant decision - the ball just pitched outside leg stump. Harper was due a good decision to be fair... Anderson goes for the same two deliveries later but Gayle sends the half-volley back past the bowler and away for four. 1752 - West Indies 0-0
This is not what Straussy will have wanted from Anderson and now Stuart Broad, the two pacemen both sending down wayward overs that Gayle and Devon Smith can easily leave alone. Another maiden, but no threat. 1748 - West Indies 0-0
James Anderson takes the opening over, but it's less threatening than a nun at Sunday mass and Chris Gayle needs only put bat on ball once in six deliveries. A maiden. "I think, sadly, we are watching the beginning of the end of Freddie's Test career. His body's cracking up. Hope he can play in one final Ashes and end his days making squillions in 20/20."
jovialStelladave on 606
Join the debate 1742: So, with just over four sessions to go, what are the chances of England running through this Windies batting line-up? If Gayle, Sarwan and Chanderpaul get in, the tourists will definitely struggle, but otherwise it's a pretty flimsy looking top-order if you ask me. Ever the optimist - and even without Flintoff, who it is said will not bowl today because of his sore hip - I'm going for an England win before tea tomorrow. ENGLAND SECOND INNINGS "Finally. All that last half hour did was reduce a few people's batting average."
StandfreeFM on 606
Join the debate "I still obviously think England will win comprehensively. But seriously, Strauss's tactics have to be looked at. What if there is rainfall tomorrow?"
virenindaheath on 606
Join the debate 1734 - ENGLAND 221-8 DECLARED
Andrew Strauss has clearly got a 500 lead in his sights as he asks Prior and, now, Steve Harmison to bat on. Prior responds with a crashing six up and over midwicket and Harmy gets in on the act with a beautiful brutaliser over the same area. And that'll do for Strauss, the England skipper waving in the troops with the tourists lead on 502. The Windies will have to hit 503 - and break all kinds of records - to win the Test match from here. 1730 - WICKET! Flintoff c Hinds b Benn 0, England 206-8
Freddie Flintoff, on a pair and nursing a sore hip, looks about as comfortable as my dad in a dress at the moment, AND HE'S CAUGHT! That's the pair Andrew Flintoff was looking to avoid as he punches Sulieman Benn off his pads and into the grateful hands of Ryan Hinds at midwicket. "I'm sorry, we need to get bowling. Now."
Geoff Boycott on TMS 1729 - England 206-7
With Flintoff now finally at the crease, Prior looks to open his shoulders and push England past the magic 500-lead mark. However, England rely upon four leg byes as a wayward Ryan Hinds delivery eludes Ramdin and rolls away to the boundary. Five off the over, England's lead now 487. And hands up - even by my low standards that simile in the last update was utter garbage. 1723 - WICKET! Broad run out 1, England 201-7
Sulieman Benn continues and Matty P greets him by giving himself room and thrashing him through the covers. A couple of singles follow before Prior sells Broad a dummy to end all dummies leaving Stuart Broad stranded in the middle of the wicket and he is run out by a country mile. Prior looks like a man who has just got away with turning up for work an hour late by pointing out his work colleague is not wearing the office uniform tie-clip. ""A dad escorting his 8-year-old daughter to a Teletubbies concert"...? Sam, please, you're out of touch on so many levels there it's making my head spin.
Dads drive their daughters to concerts and stay in the car
Teletubbies don't do live PAs,but if they did they wouldn't involve music and their audience would be students and 2 to 3-year-olds
An 8-year-old girl wants to rock to The Pussycat Dolls."
SG, shirking right to the end of the innings, via the TMS inbox 1718 - WICKET! Collingwood b Hinds 34, England 195-6
Of course, I'm not one to name-drop (obviously) but Matt Prior's also a good friend of mine. Not on Facebook, though, he 'doesn't get it' - blooming weirdo. Anyway, Paul Collingwood continues to flay away, spanking Ryan Hinds over short long-on for four but then HE IS BOWLED! Colly, trying another smear, misses completely and Hinds takes out his off pole. That's upset Strauss somewhat - he didn't want two new batsmen at the crease - but he still doesn't declare, Stuart Broad sent out with Freddie still in the hutch. 1712 - WICKET! Pietersen c Ramdin b Benn 32, England 189-5
Haha, sorry you have to laugh - KP takes a quick single, Brendan Nash throws down the stumps, but with Pietersen apparently easily home, the Windies fielders don't appeal. However, TV replays show KP's feet and bat are all off the ground and he should be back in the hutch. Paul Collingwood responds by reverse-sweeping for four - and KP IS GONE NOW! Kevin Pietersen, back on strike, tries the switch-hit for approximately the 3,723rd time today and succeeds only in edging behind. As he leaves, he laughs - probably in response to some Colly ribbing. Interestingly, Matt Prior and not Andrew Flintoff comes out to replace KP, and he gets off the mark straight away. England 190-5 1709 - England 181-4
Paul 'The Nurdle' Collingwood takes a step towards Ryan Hinds and kerplunks him for an almighty six over the long-on boundary. KP tries another switch-hit and it comes right off the middle, but again he only gets a single from it. He and Colly trying to smear every delivery, now, and the Windies fielders look about as happy to be out on the field as a dad escorting his 8-year-old daughter to a Teletubbies concert. 1706 - England 173-4
England really starting to motor now, and their lead is pushed up to 454 as a Paul Collingwood slash outside off-stump flies down to third man and almost literally through Sulieman Benn on the boundary edge. Andrew Strauss does his British best to keep his counsel - by laughing heartily at bowler Jerome Taylor from the dressing room. 1701 - England 166-4
Switch-hit-tastic from KP, but twice Mr Jessica Taylor can only get a singles to long-on with the most controversial shot in cricket. Four off the over, England's lead now 447. 1657 - England 162-4
Gayle turns back to his seam attack in a bid to slow England's accelerating run-rate, but Jerome Taylor clearly hasn't ready the script as he is bludgeoned to the midwicket boundary off his pads by Pietersen and then tonked back past his head by Colly. Colly has an unsuccessful heave at the final delivery with a slog so pre-meditated, Durham's finest actually booked it in for 1658 GMT last Tuesday. Nine off the over. 1653 - England 153-4
Someone appears to have uncorked the Champagne that is KP and Colly as both players dance down the wicket and attempt to heave Ryan Hinds into next week. Neither are particularly successful, with the Windies field spread to all parts, and it's just three singles from the over. 1649 - England 150-4
Benn continues and KP and Colly tick things over with four from the over, bringing up England's 150 and a lead of 431 runs. The changeover brings about a bit of "Funky Town" by "Lipps Inc" - evidence if ever it was needed of just how good tunes used to be. 1644 - WICKET! Cook c Smith b Hinds 58, England 145-4
Blimey - that's not good news for the Windies batsman. An innocuous-looking delivery from Ryan Hinds spits out of the foot marks like a firework out of a milk bottle and Alastair Cook has no chance, the ball ricocheting off the top of his handle and up and into the hands of Devon Smith at slip. Cook once again out between 50 and 100, but very little he could do about that. Graeme Swann may well be licking his lips up in the England dressing room. Paul "The Resurgent" Collingwood comes to the crease and gets off the mark with a trademark nurdle. England 146-4 "Did you really have to go to eat lunch? But aren't you stuck watching telly in a some regional BBC centre? Has the prolonged isolation led you to believe you're actually sitting next to Aggers? How tragic. I'm welling up."
Leo (having afternoon tea), Soho via the TMS inbox 1642 - England 144-3
Cook has clearly had his Ready Brek for lunch as he pounds his bat into a half-tracker from Benn and brutalising it over the boundary rope for four. Three singles a couple from the rest of the over and, if they keep up this rate, a declaration will be sooner rather than later. "England must be positive, but also be sensible. As soon as their lead is over 450, I would declare."
Sir Viv Richards on TMS 1637: Right, enough of that 'Ultimate Crime' chat - entertaining to us all in BBC Towers though it was, not least the 50% of replies which were highly amusing but not even nearly printable. Back to the matter in hand - England's attempts to batter the Windies bowlers into submission at the ARG. Lest we forget, the highest ever successful run-chase at this ground was by the Windies - against Australia no less - in 2003, the hosts chasing 418. So another three runs and England should declare right? "Surely the ultimate crime is criticising Joe Cockers definitive version of "With a Little Help from my Friends"?"
Stephen, Leeds via the TMS inbox "RE 1545: Ultimate Crime has got to be sandals with socks."
Dan, Basildon vai the TMS inbox "RE 15:45: is the ultimate crime not eating Hula Hoops in a silent office?"
Alex W via the TMS inbox "RE 1545: Is the ultimate crime not eating somebody's last Rolo?"
Rich M, Edinburgh via the TMS inbo "You're right RE 1545: all talk of "the ultimate crime" is hyperbole and exaggeration, everyone knows that "the ultimate crime" is Joe Cocker's odious version of 'With a little of help from my friends'."
Nemo, Strasbourg via the TMS inbox 1600 - England 135-3 - LUNCH
Ryan Hinds will have the last over before lunch and, with Andrew Strauss and Paul Collingwood deep in conversation on the balcony - which is either about a declaration or the merits of James Blunt/Pink/BEP/Amy Winehouse, for I know they are keen followers of my text commentary - Alastair Cook and Kevin Pietersen pinch a couple of singles. England's lead is now 416 and I would suggest we'll have another hour of slap after lunch before a declaration. Before then, talk amongst yourselves while I grab a bit of lunch would you?
Join the debate "RE 1545 (and before): The ultimate crime is of course Pink's "Get the party started". James Blunt aside."
George D via the TMS inbox 1556 - England 133-3
That's Alastair Cook's 50 - off 92 balls - as he turns one to leg and a couple more singles later and that's the over. 1554 - England 130-3
One gets the impression Kevin Pietersen is boasting all the patience of an oap queueing to get into an all-you-can-eat Werther's Originals gala, but for all his dancing about on the crease he can only grab a single in a tight over. 1552 - England 128-3
Spin at both ends - the chagrin of every text commentator - so apologies if I miss a couple of your emails at the moment. To be honest, I think it's a touch selfish on the part of the Windies, but there you go. Not too many chances taken by KP and Cook in that over and yet five runs are added nonetheless, all by the way of singles. 1549 - England 123-3
Well that didn't take long - KP goes for the switch-hit, misses completely, and the ball runs away for a couple of byes. Ryan Hinds is getting some decent spin on this ball, though - a lot more than Benn has today, certainly - and that's a good, probing over that yields just four runs. 1545 - England 119-3
Oh deary me, what are you playing at Benn? The spinner prompts a false shot from KP that is zinged straight back the bowler - the catch is taken - but a no-ball is called. Still, the commentators referring to a no-ball from a spinner as "the ultimate crime" is overstating the case somewhat surely? 1543 - England 116-3
Ryan Hinds will turn his arm over, now, and I can only imagine KP's attacking instincts doing a jig of delight at that news. He keeps things in check first up, though, he and Cook pinching three singles between them from an over of spin that contained about as much flight as Heathrow in the snow. 1540 - England 113-3
This is much more like it - another seven from that Benn over, KP taking 'shot of the over' honours with a firm sweep for four. This is what we've been calling for all morning isn't it? It appears nothing gets the TMS masses talking more than an incorrect reference to a Black Eyed Peas/Pink song, though. For the record - BEP sang "Let's Get it Started" and Pink "Get the Party Started". I'm sure I'm not alone in having lost interest in this a while ago, though, so apologies to you all. 1537 - England 106-3
Jubbly from Cooky - the left-hander times the pants off a clip off his pads and the ball clatters across the rope before you can say "up the tempo, please, England for I am a little concerned about the rain which is forecast for tomorrow". So not lightning or anything, but still pretty quick (try it). Six from that over. 1532 - England 100-3
Alastair Cook works Sulieman Benn away for a couple and then a nudged single brings up England's 100 and a lead of 381. KP resists the urge to throw the kitchen sink at Benn's final, looped, delivery - that reticence won't last long, I tell you. "Oh, that's a shame. Shah was looking in good touch and he was trying to get a move on things - exactly the right thing to do. You're going to lose the odd wicket in this situation, though, England should just keep playing proper cricket shots."
Geoff Boycott on TMS 1526 - WICKET! Shah b Powell 14, England 97-3
A nice flick from Alastair Cook through midwicket brings him three runs and takes his score up to 34 not out, while Shah plays across Powell's line to add a couple more - BUT HE'S GONE! Owais Shah, attempting to up the run-rate, swipes across the line again and Powell gets it through his defences, taking out the Middlesex man's middle stump. Kevin 'The Punch' Pietersen strides purposefully to the crease. 1523 - England 92-2
Just a single from that Sulieman Benn over, Cook and Shah refusing to be drawn into a false shot despite the spinner giving the ball plenty of flight. By the way, it is being pointed out to me that "Let's Get the Party Started" (see 1459) was by Black Eyed Peas, while Pink was merely "Gonna Get This Party Started". I feel all out of touch with 'da kids' and stuff now. 1520 - England 91-2
Ooh, there's some serious heat on that as Owais Shah flays at a Daren Powell short ball, pulling it away for a mighty six over the midwicket boundary - bosh. Geoff Boycott points out on TMS "he's a good bowler for England, this Powell, keep him on", though I'm not sure if that's because he's getting beaten about by Shah or because he got James Anderson out. Powell responds by bouncing one into Shah's helmet - though it only hit him there as Middlesex's finest attempted to duck under a short one that didn't get up that much. Eight from the over, England's lead now 372. 1515 - England 83-2
This is a lot more like it from England, six from that over and Alastair Cook pouncing on the only real bad ball of Benn's over - a long-hop fifth delivery - pulling away to the boundary to add to a couple of singles. That will do all day long. Well, not all day, England will want a declaration at some point. But you get what I mean. 1511 - England 77-2
Powell continues, but Alastair Cook launches himself at one that's a touch over-pitched and keplunks it through the covers for a delightful four - more of those please fella. 1507 - England 72-2
Shah - a fine player of spin - clips Benn away to midwicket for a couple first ball but then contents himself with a watchful rest of the over. Benn gets a touch excited when he striker Shah on the toe on the full, but a more optimistic shout you wouldn't find this side of Danny Dyer staking a claim for Best Actor at the Oscars. 1459 - WICKET! Anderson c Ramdin b Powell 20, England 69-2
James Anderson 's quickfire 53-ball 20 comes to an end and, I guess understandably, England fans around the ground (and in the TMS commentary box) breathe a sigh of relief. The night-watchman has another swish at one outside his off-stump and this time makes the thinnest of contacts that flies through to Ramdin. Owais Shah, the one-day genius, comes to the crease, and as the pretty but scary pop-star Pink once sang, Let's Get the Party Started. Shah off the mark first ball.
England 70-1 1457 - England 69-1
Sulieman Benn comes into the attack - will Jimmy A open up against the spinner? Humourously the Lancashire man tries a bit of everything - a drive, a sweep, a reverse-sweep and a pull - all of which brings the sum total of two runs. England's lead now 350, Shah, Pietersen, Flintoff and Prior still kicking their heels in the dressing room. 1453 - England 67-1
James Anderson, who to my memory has only found the middle of his bat once all morning, outside-edges one through the slip cordon and away for four before a couple of singles make it six from Daren Powell's over. Fair play to the night-watchman, though, he is at least trying to play aggressively. It is just unfortunate that he is holding his bat round the wrong way and looks remarkably like a confectioner swatting flies away from his iced buns. "Someone tell these two clowns that it's about to rain. Even if it's not."
fabuniquemembername on 606
Join the debate 1448 - England 61-1
Not as many England fans around at the ARG today - apparently quite a few are at the aiport awaiting a plane home having assumed the second Test will have been finished yesterday at the Sir Vivian Richards stadium. They're missing steady if unspectacular progress from England this morning, Alastair Cook crashing a lovely square cut away for four off Edwards to push England's lead to 342 runs. 1442 - England 55-1
Daren Powell takes over from Jerome Taylor as Chris Gayle looks to nip out a wicket or two, but yet another delivery keeps low and zips past wicket-keeper Dinesh Ramdin and away for four byes. England's lead up to 336... "This is good work from Edwards and Taylor - they are keeping things tight and asking the England batsmen to manufacture shots if they want to score. Still, if you ask me, as soon as England are past a lead of 400 we will see them play with real aggression."
Sir Viv Richards on TMS 1437 - England 49-1
Oh dear, E-Fiddy's enjoying about as much luck as a skint student who has rocked up two minutes too late for pound-a-pint happy hour (ahh, those were the days) - the paceman zipping one low off the surface and a hair's breadth away from Anderson's off-stump first ball and then gaining the night-watchman's edge next ball, only for Chris Gayle to spill the chance at first slip. Anderson then plays and misses twice later in the over and it's fair to say Edwards has about as much love for Lancashire's finest as I do for Amy Winehouse right now. 1432 - England 47-1
The odd ball is definitely mis-behaving this morning, one keeping low to Anderson and then another bouncing up at Cook, the opener fortunate his inside-edge onto pad goes straight to ground. That's seven overs this morning and just 16 runs scored - progress stickier than a roll of sellotape dipped in jam. 1429 - England 46-1
Fiddy Ed (or E-Fiddy as a few of you have corrected me via email) is lacking a bit of the rip he boasted last night and James Anderson is happy to bob and weave his way through another decent over. A bye and a single from it, England's lead up to 328, but you have to hope a flurry of attacking strokes are just around the corner. "Re: 14:01 - With tickets to The Brits tonight and to Barbados on Saturday I’m not sure which I’m more excited about; seeing Will Young attempting to out-drink his table at this evening or Freddie in The Ship once we've got a 2 – 1 series lead. Discuss..."
Chris via the TMS inbox 1423 - England 44-1
All right, England aren't so much starting to tick, as stir groggily from a deep sleep. Anderson faces up to Jerome Taylor, who keeps things accurate and tight, and it's another maiden. 1419 - England 44-1
Oh my days, Gower-esque push off the back foot through the covers from James Anderson and his face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning as he glances up at the England boundary. Cook follows that up with a soft-hand nudge through gully that runs away for another four and after a circumspect opening couple of overs, England are starting to tick. 1414 - England 35-1
Cooky gets England's first runs of the day as Jerome Taylor strays a bit outside off stump and the left-hander cuts him away backward of square for a crunching - and welcome - boundary. "Apropos of nothing in particular, my daughter has chucked out all the David Tennant posters and adorned her bedroom with photos of Stuart Broad. When I asked what it was she liked about him, she blithely replied: "He's tall and blond and that’s how I like them". She's only eleven! What advice can anyone offer?"
Paul Radford via the TMS inbox 1409 - England 31-1
Fidel Edwards (Fiddy Ed - his gangster rap name, henceforth) takes the second over and it is another maiden. The squat paceman raps Anderson on the pad with the final delivery but is a half-hearted appeal that bears no fruit. England's lead still at 312 and I suspect Ian Botham is crushing coconuts with his bare hands in the media box. The rather more languid TMS commentary team are taking everything in their stride, bless 'em... "RE: Barry 13:54 - no. You're just jealous 'cos I have real friends AND pretendy ones."
Anon via text on 81111 "Let's not get onto name dropping as you'll only get horribly beaten into submission when I reveal that I have enjoyed a cold can of Fosters in my living room with none other than King of the Jungle, Matt from Busted. Oh yes."
Scott, Surbiton via the TMS inbox 1404 - England 31-1
That's it - just the start England wanted. A, erm, maiden. Alastair Cook decides to have a look at Taylor probes around his off-stump and almost entirely fails to get bat on ball. Hhmmm. 1401: Well, Alastair Cook and James Anderson stride to the crease and Jerome Taylor will take the first over. Why not amuse yourself and your colleagues by having a sweep of what England's lead will be by lunch? I'm going for 420, which is possibly even more ambitious than Will Young attempting to out-drink his table at The Brit Awards this evening. "On the name dropping front, my wife's best (other than me of course) friend was Swann's solicitor when he bought a property a few years back. Surely others can do much better name dropping than that?"
Nigel, Plymouth via the TMS inbox 1354: A few of you asking why Stuart Broad - instead of James Anderson - was not employed as a night-watchman given his superior batting skills. At least he'd have been able to give it some welly this morning, I agree. Jimmy A doesn't half fancy himself as a bit of a batsman, though, and I'm not betting against him hitting a few early boundaries... "Isn't the phrase "a Facebook friend" a form of shorthand for "I am a sad git with no real friends so I attach myself, leech like, to total strangers in cyberspace who would run a mile if they ever met me in real life"?"
Barry, France via the TMS inbox 1348: Beefy on Sky is having a butcher's at the ARG pitch and insists it is breaking up quicker than a Spice Girls reunion (not his exact words). I think it is safe to say Botham would be angrier than Mr Angry from Angrytown if England don't put the pedal to metal and declare soon after lunch. And he's not alone - the sooner James Anderson gets out and allows Shah, KP and Freddie to tonk the Windies bowlers to all parts the better. "Jonathan in Sheffield can get 40-1 for his stated outcome. Not a ridiculous option. I always bet a little bit against England so I am always happy at the outcome."
Andrew Gell via the TMS inbox "My money's on Jimmy Anderson scoring a century in 80 or so balls, then getting 8 wickets, and then being dropped for the fourth Test."
Mr _Bitesize on 606
Join the debate 1339: By the way, what will surely be in Andrew Strauss's thinking in terms of when - and on what total - to declare, will be the news that apparently there is a 40% chance of rain tomorrow. Rain in Antigua? That's not what the England fans signed up for. It's a bit like buying a ticket to see Kings of Leon at Wembley and ending up with a Blazin Squad tribute band down the local Wetherspoon's. Ish. "Did you know that I am statistically the best batsman in the world?*
*Based on runs scored in the Fylde Cricket League 2005."
Chris Gregson of Wyre CC via the TMS inbox 1334: I'm predicting a bit of slap and tickle from England's batsmen until, maybe, just after tea and then a four-session slog from the bowlers to skittle out the Windies and level the series. Jonathan, however, proposes a more pessimistic scenario below... "What odds do you reckon i can get on England becoming the 3rd team in the history of Test Cricket to have declared both innings and lose the match?"
Jonathan in Sheffield via the TMS inbox 1330: Now then, I'm not one to name-drop or owt (obviously), but my good buddy - inside and outside of Facebook - Graeme Swann had a bit of a stormer yesterday didn't he? He is now statistically speaking as good as Muttiah Muralitharan and the joint best spinner in the world ever*. As a result England are in the, let's be honest, rather unusual position of utterly dominating a Test match. And whether you agree with Andrew Strauss's decision not to enforce the follow-on or not, we are surely guaranteed one thing - a fascinating day's cricket. *Based on number of five-wicket hauls at the Antigua Recreation Ground only.
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