Ryan Sidebottom took a hat-trick as England hit back in astonishing fashion late on day four, New Zealand closing 269 runs ahead at 147-8 in Hamilton.

Having taken a first innings lead of 122, New Zealand were coasting with Stephen Fleming's serene 44th Test 50.

The Kiwis pressed but, aided by superb catching, England took four wickets in nine balls, Sidebottom with 5-37.

Monty Panesar added 3-33 after Paul Collingwood and debutant Tim Ambrose hit fifties in England's obdurate 348.

By Paresh Soni

Get involved. E-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with 'For Paresh Soni' in the subject), text 81111 (with "CRICKET" as the first word) or use 606 between 0900-2300 GMT. (Not all contributions can be used).

STUMPS: NEW ZEALAND 147-8 (269 AHEAD)

0441: Maiden from Hoggard, no real threat of a wicket there, but what a fantastic session of cricket, just brilliant. England fight back in sensational style and Sidebottom leads them off after some magnificent bowling and catching, especially from Cook. What a day of cricket we have ahead of us tomorrow. You'd be a fool not to join me at around 2100 GMT. Thanks for your company it's been a privilege.

"Dave in Edmonton: Do you want to come down the road for a game of office cricket? We use a rubber stress ball and a rolled up set of drawings. It's pretty good actually!"
Matt in Calgary via email

"I'm loving this turn of events except for the fact that I'm celebrating my wedding anniversary tomorrow and will miss most of the action. Do I dare chance making my wife listen to the match?
Tom Pfaff Houston via email

0437: Monty gets pats on the back from KP and Vaughan after finishing his day's work. Hoggy will bowl the last six balls of the day.

0436: 147-8 Patel, who is coming in for stick from Aggers and Boycs about confidently predicting the Kiwis would roll over England and win the game, slices for two off Monty. Boycs is demanding another interview with the off-spinner to find out his thoughts on today's events and the state of the game.

0434: Maiden from Hoggard. and two more overs for England to polish this off tonight. You think if one wicket falls Martin won't last long.

"I should wait to see what happens tomorrow before you start gloating."
Geoff Boycott warns Aggers on TMS not to go overboard with taunting the Radio New Zealand commentary team

"I'm sat here in my office, having just watched my home team, the Edmonton Oilers win in the NHL. In 10hrs I will be on board a flight to Vancouver with a beautiful woman to watch Matchbox 20 (it's for her, honest!!!!) What more could I want?
Dave in Edmonton, via email

0431: 145-8 Patel tickles a Monty delivery down to fine-leg for four more. How crucial will these runs be in the end? Three overs left tonight and all outcomes possible. Tremendous.

0428: WICKET - Mills lbw b Panesar 11 (NZ 141-8)
Hello! Straightish ball from Monty which straightens and it's goodnight to Mills, plumb in front. Terrible shot and England players dance around in delight with the score effectively 263-8.

0427: This is boring, no wicket for at least 22 minutes. Mills drives Panesar handsomely through extra-cover for four and the lead is growing worryingly.

0424: 137-7 Mills is looking reasonably competent, mind you the bowling hasn't been great to him. Hoggy's struggling with his line and gives him an easy single with a leg-side delivery which he helps around. No control from Hoggard, who gives little for Vettori to play at, although he flashes at the last one and nearly nicks behind. That was close!

0420: 136-7 Another easy single for Mills off Panesar but that's all as Monty keeps it tight to Vettori.

"I've pulled a muscle jumping around so much at 10 past 4 in the morning. Makes those sleepless nights worth it!
Tom Heasman, Tunbridge Wells via text

0416 135-7: Hoggard replaces the heroic Sidebottom and has a large shout for lbw against Mills rejected. Just missing leg. Mills paddles to long-leg for one after that scare.

0413: 134-7 Mills is no rabbit, I ought to tell you, and he drives for two through extra-cover. I can't dwell on how Kyle in Illinois is watching - he himself says it's "via somewhat shady means". Enough said.

0411: 129-7 Vettori, a canny cricketer, drives Sidebottom through mid-on and cuts past point for four. This is fascinatingly poised. England won't want them to get too many more, another 20 or 30 maybe.

0408: 121-7 Two nudged singles from Vettori and Mills end another dramatic over.

"I've seen games like this in county cricket where if you don't get too many and the side batting fourth think they can win it's actually good for you. I think we've got a very interesting match which both sides will feel they can win."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

0405: WICKET - Taylor c and b Panesar 6 (NZ 119-7)
I am not making this up, honestly! Taylor, on his 24th birthday, is outfoxed by the flight of the ball and slices it back to Monty, who holds on in front of his face. Madness, complete madness. It's a day for the lefties - five for Sidey and two for Monty, who does his jig of delight.

0403: First run for a while as Vettori nudges a single off Monty.

0358: 118-6 Sidey is swinging the ball conventionally and reverse. Taylor's beaten by a good one. Kyle in Illinois - a few people across the pond want to know how you're watching this. Spence in Illinois wants to know if it's on in a bar.

0357: 118-6 Monty sends down another maiden to keep the pressure on. Only nine runs in the last seven over, four coming via an edge past slips. Terrific stuff from Sidey and Monty.

"This is why 5-Day Test Cricket is so much better than an evening of Baseball!"
Pete, Arlington, Texas, in the TMS inbox

"Would it be too rich of me to think that Sidebottom should be given a Knighthood?
Daniel Fernandes via email

"Not a TV in sight yet we have stopped production of the bonjela, glued to the pc."
Anonymous via text

0353: 118-6 Another fine swinging delivery by Sidebottom just misses the off-stump. Not so smiley in the NZ dressing room now.

"Wonderful! In the half-hour it took me to drive home from work just after tea-time in NZ, England took four wickets! Should I drive around the block a few times?"
Alan Watson in the TMS inbox

Go for it mate, I'll let you know how the innings finishes!

0349: 118-6 Taylor keeps the strike with a single off Monty. The Barmy Army are in full voice now, having had little to celebrate until that golden spell.

"I can't wait to get on Radio New Zealand. There'll be absolute silence in there."
BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew on TMS

0343: 117-6 Vettori pushes a single off everyone's favourite Yorkshireman - the 11th England bowler to take a hat-trick - and Taylor scrambles one at the end.

"Holy cow! I've been listening to this with my 7 month son all day. He thinks his old man has finally lost it!!"
Jim, Seattle USA via email

"Ryan Sidebottom, will you marry me?"
Chris, Coventry in the TMS inbox

"Three and a half days into my first Test match as a cricket fan, I'm finally rewarded for my bull-headed determination to believe that I wasn't wasting my time on a pointless five days doomed to end in a draw no matter what. If I wasn't watching this, I'd almost believe your commentary was made up at this point."
Kyle, Illinois, USA via email

0340: 115-6 Monty's in on the act now, appealing for lbw against Taylor, but that was more adrenalin than genuine belief I think. What an amazing passage of play...

0336: 115-6 Shocking stuff Sidey, down the leg-side, you're useless! Just kidding. There are fielders all round the bat as England go in for the kill. Standing ovation for the man of the moment. He deserves it after bowling terrifically without much reward at times.

0334: WICKET - Oram lbw b Sidebottom 0 (NZ 115-6)
I'm not making this up. A fantastic, crackerjack inswinging delivery from Sidey has Oram plumb lbw. Harper takes an age to lift his finger and Siders has 5-27 and a hat-trick having got Fleming with the last ball of the previous over. Vettori comes in with four wickets having fallen in nine balls. Shame on you those who went to sleep, you've missed a magic, crazy spell of cricket.

0331: WICKET - Sinclair c Cook b Sidebottom 2 (NZ 115-5)
I can't quite believe what I'm seeing. That was an awful delivery from Sidey, wide long-hop and Sinclair carves it away seemingly for four but Cook flings himself to his left to hold on to another quite astounding catch. England on fire and in control of this game? Maybe, maybe not but it's a hell of a lot more interesting than many thought.

0329: 115-4 You can't take your eyes off this game now - who would have thought that? - after Sinclair takes a single Taylor edges wide of Collingwood at slip for four. That could so easily have been another wicket.

"New Zealand are still in a very good position but there will be a bit of circumspection, they can't afford to lose another two wickets now. Perhaps this game is not necessarily going along the pattern that's been established on the previous three days."
Vic Marks on TMS

0321: WICKET - McCullum c Strauss b Panesar 0 (NZ 110-4)
After one ball to play himself in, the big-hitting McCullum heaves Monty to deep mid-wicket where Strauss running back from mid-on takes another very good catch. Interesting. The game's just opened up a bit for England after three days of struggle.

0323: Sinclair pushes one off Monty and the state of the game is NZ 231 ahead.

0321: WICKET - How c Cook b Sidebottom 66 (NZ 109-3)
Another risky shot from Fleming, a slash outside off-stump and taking the bottom hand off the bat - and it ends in disaster this time after another quite stunning catch from Alastair Cook at gully. Now that has been spot on from England in this game, especially young Cook. In comes McCullum, a signal of New Zealand's intent.

0319: Sidebottom slants one in to Fleming and the ball flies away for four leg-byes, the first extras of the innings. That's one area England have been good in in this game. Fleming drives through the line in risky fashion over cover for four.

0315: 101-2 The TV replays of that catch are being played endlessly in Monty's next over. No-one can still accept that took place! Fleming pushes a single.

0313: 100-2 Fleming nudges a single to bring up 100 for the Kiwis and bring new man Sinclair on strike. He's beaten by one angled across.

0309: WICKET - How c Hoggard b Sidebottom 39 (NZ 99-2)
Unbelievable scenes. How flicks the ball off his pads high to the deep mid-wicket boundary where, Hoggy - yes Hoggy - runs 10 yards to his left and plucks the ball out of the air cleanly with both feet off the ground. Simply sensational stuff from - let's be honest - one of the least athletic men in this England team. How shakes his head, stunned by what he's seen and even Hoggy looks like he can't quite comprehend what he's done. Just the lift England were in desperate need of.

0307: How breaks that brief stranglehold by cover-driving Sidey for four. Not as well timed as some of Fleming's shots but highly effective.

0304: 95-1 Fleming and How push singles. Monty and Sidebottom have brought control, which England were crying out for.

"What I'm wondering is whether England exaggerated the perils of strokeplay on this wicket. Fleming's timed the ball easily, just as he did in the first innings."
Vic Marks on TMS

0301: 93-1 Fleming's in complete control now and keeps flicking effortlessly through mid-wicket for ones and twos. Another single off Sidebottom and he moves to 59 off 73 balls.

"I ask you, is the end of an era for England? Hoggard has lost a yard of pace, Harmison has lost a yard of accuracy and by this stage, Vaughan has probably lost a yard of his leg from operations. With Flintoff injured constantly and Strauss recently dropped, is it all over for the Ashes boys?"
Ade O'Connor via email

It's not been clever you have to say. Outplayed in Sri Lanka and on the back foot here too.

0259: Harmy's off after conceding 24 in four overs, and Sidebottom's on. He's been England's best bowler by a long way in this game.

0256: 92-1 How sweeps Monty and picks up two after a misfield from Harmy on the boundary. It's just not happening for him. A slip and silly point for Monty but no great turn and How gets an easy single to deep square-leg. Big smiles in the Kiwi dressing room, and why not? This is ridiculously easy for them.

0254: Boycott wants Monty on and Vaughan follows his advice with New Zealand 210 ahead now.

0250: 88-1 Fleming drives Harmy to deep extra-cover for one and the Kiwis seem to be scoring off every ball right now. How misses out on a dreadful long-hop down leg-side but pushes effortlessly to cover-point for one before Fleming flips him over mid-wicket for four more. He then drives to deep extra-cover for two - you have to wonder how long Vaughan will allow this to continue.

"We've got to get Monty into the attack and see how Fleming plays him, particularly when it lands in the footholes. I don't think we'll see much slogging in the first hour but they might throw the bat a bit after if they want to bowl a whole day at England tomorrow."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

0245: 80-1 How punches Colly through mid-wicket, easy as you like, for four. Next ball goes the same way, top-drawer stuff and that's 16 runs in five balls for the Kiwis - is the charge on? Fleming turns the ball to deep mid-wicket for one to complete a high-class fifty - off just 66 balls, which is a tremendous effort considering the go-slaw that's preceded this.

0242: 70-1 Steady stuff from Harmy but hardly threatening at 82mph. Fleming drives easily through extra-cover for two and then pulls for six into some startled spectators on one of the grass banks that surround this ground - almost on to an ambulance. He pulls again but makes no contact - would have been a a repeat if he had. A sad state of affairs for a guy who was once the number one bowler in the world.

0238: 62-1 Colly continues at the other end and a firm drive from How almost carries back to the bowler. No real aggressive intent so far from the Kiwi pair but How flicks to fine-leg for four.

"The sober ones went to bed. The drunk naive are all that are left!"
Alex via text

"Unfortunately sober over here, working nights. I have to say a few Nelson Mandellas would make this so much easier to bare!"
Mike Alcock in the TMS inbox

0231: 58-1 Full-bunger followed by another half-volley from Harmison, and How makes contact second time around to pick up one. Better from Harmy after that but Fleming finds the gap behing point for a single. How drives to mid-off, where a mis-field from Vaughan allows a single.

0230: Harmy's been studying things on the laptop and warming up again in the break. It's quite easy Steve - bowl at the stumps at around 90mph like you can and, you never know, things might start happening. OK a tad harsh but you have to say the man's playing for his immediate Test future here.

0228: Just about ready for the final session. Should be interesting, and a big indication about both sides' ambitions. England, you think, can only get a draw out of this, while New Zealand will be looking to push on.

"Slightly drunk after several quiet drinks, is it just me or does the England attack not seem to be able to bowl out tail-enders ever, and can our batsmen not make a ton after getting themselves in generally? It's so frustrating!
Tom via text

Is there anyone out there who's sober? Probably not...

"It's going to be interesting to see how New Zealand approach this last session. You'd probably bring in McCullum next wouldn't you?"
Former England paceman Gus Fraser on TMS

TEA: NEW ZEALAND 55-1 (177 AHEAD)

0210: More woe for Colly next up when Fleming is through his shot early and the ball spoons back to the bowler, who can't hold on with his left hand. Good effort but those chances have to be taken. The England fielders trudge off for tea with a lot to think about.

0208: Colly launches an anguished lbw appeal against Fleming but that came right out of the middle of the bat. Desperation times for England and umpire Davis is utterly bamboozled - what was that all about?

"At work at the mo, toss-up of watching the commentary or reruns of 'Allo 'Allo. No offfence but Vicki Michelle in stockings is winning at the mo.....
Dave Smith in Birmingham in the TMS inbox

Dave, my friend, I question your taste

0203: 55-1 Decent start from Harmy, just outside the off-pole. Oh dear, the next ball is a leg-stump half-volley, though, and Fleming clips it for four to bring up the fifty partnership. Another half-volley is pushed down the ground for one, not great bowling you have to say. Harmy gets angry and bangs on in... a wide long-hop at 81.2 mph. How tries to pulverise it but misses out.

0202: And here he comes. England's main strike bowler, ready to strike fear into the hearts of Kiwi batsmen. Let's just hope he can get the ball within a couple of feet of those three stumps - on the off-side.

0159: 50-1 Fleming gives it the full treatment from a Colly delivery and it flies away to deep point and beyong any fielders for one to bring up 50 for New Zealand. Harmy's warming up again.

"I am on my seventh can of Stella, it is the only way to cope with this English performance. I was in Melbourne for the Ashes Test on the last tour - some things never change."
Chris via email

Impressive typing in the circumstances Chris

0155: 49-1 Harmy's stopped warming up. Very strange goings-on there. How edges Hoggard between the two men positioned at first and fourth slip for a boundary. Things haven't really happened for England after that early Sidebottom strike.

0152: 45-1 Fleming drives Collingwood through backward point and beats a despairing dive from Monty for four more elegant runs. He's timed the leather off that ball today.

0151: Harmy continues his exercises - I'm assuming he's been given a signal by Vaughan or he's trying to drop a hint.

0147: 41-1 Harmison's doing his stretches but Hoggard continues to a defensive field, with only one slip. Fleming collects an easy single with a gentle push through cover.

0144: 40-1 Fleming sends back How after nudging Colly to cover and the throw is off-target. Would have been in anyway and a single comes next ball through square-leg.

0142: Vaughan turns to Colly instead of Harmison. If he doesn't bowl the over after this, that says a lot about how low his stock's fallen.

0138: 39-1 Fleming is, as they say, in the zone now. A push through the off-side off Hoggard races away for an easy two. Just impeccable timing from the former skipper. He picks up another run through square-leg and moves on to 28 off 32 balls. How has 11 off 35.

"It looks like it's going to be in a draw, but they've always had the initiative and been in the driving seat in this game."
Vic Marks on TMS

0135: 36-1 More good timing from Fleming, an on-drive for three. He really does make this game look simple when he's in this mood. I don't mind watching another hour or so of him. How looks less certain and is beaten by one that leaves him.

0133: Classy shot from Fleming, a swinging full delivery is driven quite majestically down the ground by the veteran left-hander with the minimum of effort. For all you disappointed in my lack of musical knowledge - it was and always will be my weakest subject. I can go on about quantum physics but ask me about quavers and I'll think crisps.

0130: 29-1 Thanks to Sally Hooker and Tim Jocys for informing me it's My Baby Just Cares for Me by Nina Simone. Fleming turns Hoggard through square-leg for one. No sign of the emotional Harmy warming up yet. Hoggy goes up for a leg-before appeal against How at the end of the over but nothing doing for Harper. Missing leg and high, probably why Hoggy gave up on it.

0125: 28-1 Fleming nudges Sidebottom out on the leg-side for one and How does the same for two. The lead's up to 150 as drinks are taken to the backdrop of what, we shall say kindly, is easy listening music.

"I'm waiting to see what time my trousers vibrate.... my mobile phone's in there. My wife's terribly jet-lagged and I want to know what time she's up till back home."
BBC cricket correspondent Jonathan Agnew on TMS

0121: We have 41 overs left today. The Kiwis will have to motor on I reckon, to make England sweat on day five.

0118: 25-1 Fleming clips Hoggy through mid-wicket for two. Vaughan, with his dodgy knee, beats Harmy to the ball. What does that say? Next ball is a wide long-hop and Fleming carves it backward of point for four. Harmy redeems himself with a valiant effort when Fleming clips the last ball of the over through mid-wicket again and he keeps the scoring down to three. Good over for New Zealand, nine off it and they'll need more of that to get into a potentially match-winning position.

0115: 16-1 How edges Sidebottom wide of gully for four. Sidey then hurls the ball back, wide of How to the slips when it's played back to him. An unlikely angry young man is our Ryan. Very laid-back fella.

"Matthew will be pleased despite that boundary, the ball's coming out of his hand better."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

0109: 12-1 Oh dear Monty. Fleming drives to the Montster at mid-off and a clumsy fumble gives the left-hander a single. After How adds another run to his score there's a repeat of that stroke from Fleming, between Monty and extra-cover, which brings two. Same shot again results in a boundary, lovely shot. Hoggard is confused, thinking that was a decent delivery.

0108: 4-1 How nudges Sidebottom through mid-wicket for two.

"Had a few drinks but came home early to watch the cricket. Lets get Harmy on early, he'll take 9 for 18 and we'll win by tea!"
Anonymous via text

What were you drinking mate?

0105: Sidebottom, who must be one of the unluckiest bowlers England have ever had, beats How with one he angles across the right-hander.

0103: 2-1 Hoggard finds more swing but How hangs in there and turns the last one down to long-leg for a single.

"In reply to Stuart from Vancouver, at 0046: Stuart, I think that for the benefit of all women reading the commentary tonight we need to see this photo. Purely for research purposes, of course!"
Miss S, London, via email

0059: 1-1 High-class stuff from Sidey too. Right on the button and a pearler leaves Fleming.

0055: 1-1 Hoggy produces an absolute jaffa which How does well to avoid edging. Swing and seam movement there. Terrific delivery. How does edge the last ball of the over but keeps it down. Top-class stuff from the Yorkshireman.

0054: A few of you have asked about the Harmy interview. The gist of it was he wanted to play for England, defended his decision to quit one-day cricket and said the reason he was not bowling with the new ball was because Hoggy and Sidebottom were more likely to make use of it when it swings.

"On the Narita Express in Tokyo, where cricket coverage misses out to pretty much everything. Prediction NZ 95-3 at stumps, Barnsley to draw against Chelsea in the Cup and Scotland to go down hard at Murrayfield by the time I land in Blighty."
Anthony in the TMS inbox

0052: 1-1 Fleming survives the rest of the over but England will be pumped up by that early breakthrough.

0049: WICKET - Bell c Ambrose b Sidebottom 0 (NZ 1-1)
Well, well, well just the start England wanted. Sidebottom finds the edge with one that straightens, up go the England players and umpire Davis' finger.

0046: Right, we're almost ready for the NZ innings. Forget what I said about Harmy, it's Sidebottom who will open up - on a hat-trick after two wickets at the end of the Kiwi first innings - probably with Hoggy at the other end. How turns him to long-leg immediately for a single.

"I can give Chrissy (see 0010) some information about the England boys' chests. I took a photo of my mate with some of them on the beach at the World Cup in St Lucia last year. I can reveal that Straussy has a luxuriant carpet of hair, that Colly is ginger all over and that Nixon has no hair at all on his chest. In the background there's someone who looks like Freddy pootling around in a pedalo. (That last bit's not true).
Stuart, Vancouver, in the TMS inbox

"Hey Nostradamus! How about another prediction...NZ to bat, Harmi to regain his lost form and bowl out with figures of 15-8-53-8 and Monty to round off the innings? Yep, I also predict my beloved Portsmouth FC to dump Man Utd out the FA Cup 4-0 later today. Night shift = crazy talk!"
Neil Matthews, via email

You can say whatever you want on here Neil, well almost.

0040: Harmison is also warming up and looks like he'll be handed the new cherry along with Hoggard. After his strong words to Nasser Hussain broadcast during the interval, let's see if he's fired up.

INNINGS BREAK

0036: WICKET - Panesar lbw b Mills 0 (Eng 348 all out)
Mills swings the ball into Monty and that's as plumb as you like. Finally the torture ends and New Zealand have a lead of 122. Hoggard is already out there warming up and that's the kind of attitude we want from England. If he swings the ball like that, there might yet be hope for the tourists of producing something stunning.

"Feminine input as requested. What is the highest break in cricket?
Anne, Shropshire, via text

The answer Anne is 501, by a certain Brian Charles Lara.

0031: The new ball is taken and handed to Martin in the hope of putting us all out of our misery. Sidebottom attempts an aggressive shot, but misses completely with his pull. Fifth maiden in a row and one run since lunch. Sad.

"If you think Test cricket is a waste of time you might have a case here."
TMS commentator Christopher Martin-Jenkins

0029: Over number 56 from Vettori and maiden number 17 for the Black Caps captain. No danger of a scoring shot being played there by Monty.

0027: Another maiden from Patel and you feel this is all rather pointless and only delaying the inevitable. Sidebottom survives despite a plethora of close fielders.

0024: 348-9 Text-book defence from Monty to keep out Vettori. The third new ball is available, which tells you how slowly England have scored.

"It's amazing how quickly the game can change and the environment in the dressing room changes. England would have been quite content and feeling they were playing themselves to safety. Now it will be all nervy again, with bowlers strapping their boots on."
Former England paceman Gus Fraser on TMS

0022: 348-9 Patel reels off a maiden to Sidebottom. It's very quiet at the ground, probably because the majority of fans are English.

0019: 348-9 Sidebottom picks up a single off Vettori and Monty defends stoutly. The key now is how the Kiwis bat - if they go for quick runs they could be handily placed by stumps.

0016: 347-9 Monty sees out the last two balls but New Zealand have a handy lead of 123.

0014: WICKET - Harmison c Fleming b Patel 0 (Eng 347-9)
0012: Call me Nostradamus. Fourth ball from Patel after lunch is swept by Harmy and catches the bat and forearm before going to Fleming at slip. Patel on a hat-trick and me off down to the bookies/filling in my lottery slip later in the morning.

0012: WICKET - Ambrose c Fleming b Patel 55 (Eng 347-8)
0012: Call me Nostradamus. Third ball from Patel after lunch catches the edge and Fleming does the rest at slip. The end of a promising debut knock from Amby and, you fear, the England innings soon.

0010: The players are back out there and two things to look out for: Ambrose making a century and England getting bowled out. I fear the latter is more likely.

"I am on the long night shift and have just turned on to see that there's not much feminine input tonight! oh and I am still waiting for piccys of monty and ryan barechested (last nights discussion), come on I need something to liven the night up!
Chrissy north Notts in the TMS inbox

Chrissy, check out our photogalleries of the game.

2353: Lot of chat from you about the Harmison interview with Hussain that's just been aired on TV. I agree with Dirsy that we might have seen the best of the big paceman in 2004. You tend to agree and as emotional and moving as that piece was, he's just not firing.

2349: Stuart Wallace has asked me about the most number of overs bowled in a Test innings, bearing in mind Vettori has sent down 53 so far. Well Stuart, it's a whopping 98, which West Indies off-spinner Sonny Ramadhin wheeled away for against England at Edgbaston in 1957.

"Steve Davis, eh? Wow. I never would have guessed the old snooker champ was in fact a trained cricket umpire all along!
From Jacob via text

Not the same man Jacob, this one's carrying a few extra pounds and, if anything, looks more poker-faced than the 'Nugget'.

"This whole notion of snooker legends becoming cricket umpires - had the man mountain and lager consuming Bill Werbenuik made the switch, bowlers would have been unable to reach the popping crease from behind the stumps."
Paul Cotterill in the TMS inbox

"Jim (see below) I am stuck at work were we make bonjela - ideal for teething. Fancy some freebies?
Anonymous via text

Don't know where you are anonymous, I'm guessing the UK, but Jim has told me he's in Seattle, USA. Can't see this working out!

"The one real highlight has been Ambrose. He hasn't been breathtaking, he's been composed, but I can't imagine England - or any other side - batting so slowly. Whilst it's been absorbing I don't want two more Tests like this."
Vic Marks on TMS

Amen, Victor. As my colleague has just told me, let's just be grateful it's not a timeless Test.

LUNCH: ENGLAND 347-7

2327:Amby goes for a quick single off Vettori and the overthrow from cover gives him a bonus. He then drives to deep cover for one. Snicko suggest Sidey was a lucky boy in that previous over. The long-haired one sees out the last two balls and off they go for a bite to eat. Just the one wicket to go down for England, albeit a big one and 61 runs added in the session.

2324: 344-7 Patel, McCullum and all the close fielders go up for an appeal for a catch behind against Sidebottom. Steve Davis says no and there's real fury out there from the Kiwis, Some choice words are uttered and there could be some disciplinary action after the game.

2321: 344-7 Some definite reverse swing for big Oram but he lacks the pace to really threaten. Surprising for such a big man (6ft 5ins). Ambrose drives delightfully through the covers for a fifty on debut off 157 balls. Well played son! The Ambrose clan - sisters, mum et al - jump up and down gleefully. He becomes the ninth England keeper to make a half century on his bow.

2317: 340-7 Ambrose turns Vettori through square for a single and the more time these two eat up the less a chance of a result you'd think.

2314: I've had another look at that Colly dismissal and maybe it wasn't such a bad decision after all.

2313: 339-7 Sidey chases a widish delivery from Oram, which nips away and there's a loud appeal from big Jake. Harper shakes his head and replays show the bat hit the ground. Sidebottom then plays down to third man for two.

2311: 337-7 Ambrose drives Vettori through mid-wicket for two and no alarms for Sidebottom so far. He's not totally useless with the bat so maybe there's hope yet of a debut ton for Amby.

"Listening to the NZ radio commentary on my computer. I had the brainwave of putting my seven-month old son's baby monitor next to the speakers. The receiver works on batteries, so I can walk around the house with him listening to the radio commentary! I'm not too sure if he is too pleased though. My wife says he is crying from teething, but I'm not so sure."
Jim via email

2307: 335-7 Some absolutely dire jokes have been sent my way and I won't shame you by publishing them. Look the cricket's livened up, so we can abandon that experiment. Wicket maiden from Oram by the way.

2303: WICKET - Collingwood lbw b Oram 66 (Eng 335-7)
Oram sends down an off-cutter which Colly initially appears to inside edge into his thigh pad. Daryl Harper, who has not looked like giving anything, raises his finger and Colly's devastated. He trudges off and the tail's exposed.

"I'm suprised Sport Relief didn't try to organise KP vs Graham Smith. Surely as big a draw as Mayweather vs Hatton"
Chris, Deptford, via text

Good shout that Chris but KP, mindful of maintaining his looks, would never agree to it...

2300: 335-6 Collingwood cuts Vettori for one to take the partnership to 90. Good effort, though hardly electric, from the two England boys. Game's heading for a draw unless there's a clatter of wickets or big hitting.

2259: Irvin Flaherty asks if play finishes early if the Kiwis bowl their 90 overs before the scheduled close - nope it's 90 overs or 0430, whichever comes later.

2257: 334-6 And there is the first chance of the day. Ambrose gets an edge off Oram and McCullum, standing up, cannot hold on. Amby recovers to play off the back foot through cover point and pick up two.

"Talking about Mr T it reminds me of his appearance in Rocky when he was asked what he predicted in the forthcoming fight. He predicted 'pain'. At bit like watching this..."
Daniel Garcia via email

"Husband and wife are shopping when the man picks up a crate of Lager and sticks them into the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on offer, only �10 for 24 cans', he says 'Put them back. We can't afford it,' says the wife and they carry on shopping... A few aisles later the woman picks up a �20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the trolley. 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the man, 'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' she says. The man replies... 'so does 24 cans of Lager and it's half the price."
Mike Alcock in the TMS inbox

2253: 332-6 Bosh! Colly steps down the track and lifts Vettori over cover for six, shattering the silence in Hamilton.

"Wow, you are the only way for me to keep up with the excitement down here in Buenos Aires. These Argentinians don't know what they're missing." Adam Cronkrite via email

Thanks for that Adam but I've just closed my eyes and imagined what fun I could be getting up to in Buenos Aires...

2248: 326-6 Easy runs on offer out there now as Colly turns Oram backward of square and ambles through for one.

"You don't feel they're going to get out."
Geoff Boycott on TMS

2244: 325-6 Colly dabs Patel out to point for one and Ambrose strokes through extra-cover for two and wide of mid-on for another pair of runs. You feel the lad is playing himself into a long run in the team, although it's hardly been an ordeal out there.

2242: 320-6 Ambrose is moving along nicely now. He pushes Vettori out on the on-side for two to go to 39 and the partnership is worth 75.

"Is the level of play really that bad that the conversation has turned to who would beat who in a fight......who would win KP or Nel?
Mike, Liverpool in the TMS inbox

"I think we should have a few jokes to liven up proceedings - The other day, my friend asked me to run in a marathon in April. I said it sounded too much like hard work. 'Oh come on,' he said. 'It's for blind children!'. 'Oh go on then,' I replied. 'I reckon I could win that!'
Neil, Italy in the TMS inbox2238: 318-6 A nudge from Amby and cut from Colly for singles off Patel. Ambrose takes a quick run after a mis-field at mid-wicket.

2237: 315-6 Just the no-ball in Vettori's latest over.

2234: After yesterday's Vivaldi and jazz piano a blast of country music around Seddon Park. What next?

"Mr T in women's clothes would definitely beat a Rhino."
Tim in Adelaide via email

2231: Singles apiece for Amby and Colly keeps the scoreboard ticking. Drinks are taken at the end of the first hour in which 28 runs came off 17 overs.

2227: 312-6 Ambrose sweeps Vettori for one and lots of speculation from you about vampire-rhino battles. Opinion's split on that one. What about Chuck v Mr T? Has anyone seen those Mr T ads? Very funny.

"I entirely agree with James, this Test had a draw written all over it from the first session's play, so i ask people who will win in a fight - Chuck Norris in a chicken suit or Mr T in womens clothes?"
Andy in Nottingham in the TMS inbox

2223: 311-6 A rare shot of authority as Ambrose cuts new bowler Patel for four. Another cut, this time from Colly, and good running gets him two. It's all perked up suddenly. Maybe this is the start of a real assault.

"Am I the only one who is finding this one of the most boring innings ever. I'm giving my self cramp just to pass the time."
Gary Bursledon via text

2220: 304-6 Ambrose nurdles a single through mid-on and the crowd clap enthusiastically. Amby then creates some more excitement when he backs up too far but he makes it back before Taylor's throw from short fine-leg is gathered.

"I used to live in NZ, and Hamilton is the dullest city imaginable. One large suburb with no discernable center, surrounded by cows, sheep and grass. Actually I like very slow games. I remember watching John Edrich score (I think) 300 runs in a Test Match hundreds of years ago on the BBC - you had to shave several times to remain acceptable in polite company while he was doing it."
Chris Wilkes in the TMS inbox

2217: 303-6 Martin is again very accurate but Colly is solid in defence. He just doesn't want to give this one away.

"This is a terrible pitch that will never ever produce good cricket. But to kill time let me ask... in a fight who'd win a Vampire or a Rhino?"
James (just round the corner from The Oval) in the TMS inbox

2212: 303-6 Single for Colly off Vettori. A few of you think I'm moaning I'm not. I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do than watch two batsmen scratch around on a flat surface.

"The challenge for England's batsmen now is not to let their concentration drift - and that has been a problem if you look at the number of centuries they've scored in recent Test matches."
Former England paceman Gus Fraser on TMS

2209: 302-6 Amby drives Martin nicely through extra-cover but a slow outfield and good work from Vettori/Patel keeps him down to two. Encouraging stuff from the Warwickshire man.

2205: 300-6 Ambrose nudges a single on the off-side off Vettori to bring up England's 300. No major alarms for the tourists so far. I was wondering why it was quiet in cyberspace but Alan Watson has just pointed out I'd forgot to let you know how to contact me - see above and get typing away!

2200: 299-6 Collingwood drives at a full-pitched one and feels at one just on a length and is beaten twice by Martin. Good bowling again when another swinging delivery is edged to third man for four and brings up Colly's eighth Test fifty off 140 balls.

2157: 295-6 Ambrose sweeps Vettori for a single, his first run of the morning. Colly paddles the ball round backward of leg to take the partnership to 50 off 158 balls.

2154: 293-6 Martin keeps it quiet again with a line two feet outside off-stump, which Colly shows no interest in attacking apart from the last ball which the Durham man nibbles at and misses.

2151: 293-6 I take it all back, this is thrilling stuff - Colly takes a step down the pitch and lofts Vettori high and wide of mid-off for four and dabs behind for a single. He's on 47 now, while Amby has 23.

2147: 288-6 Paint, dry, like, watching - rearrange those words and you have an idea about the play so far. Hallelujah! Colly nudges a single off Martin for the first run off the bat!

2143: 287-6 Loud appeal from Vettori for lbw against Ambrose. who was deceived by the flight and is hit on the back leg - but via the inside edge. No run off the bat in four overs so far.

2140: 287-6 Nothing doing in that over from Martin, except a puff of dust blowing up when he lands the ball in the footmarks outside off-stump and a bye conceded by McCullum after Martin sprays one down the leg-side.

"Collingwood tried to play at those deliveries, which will interest Vettori and he might persist with that leg-stump line from over the wicket."
Vic Marks on TMS

2135: 286-6 Vettori, who bowled quite beautifully yesterday, is on at the other end and is right on the mark straight away. Colly is watchful in defence apart from two attempted sweeps which he fails to make clean contact with. This is already following day two's pattern, with two maidens in a row.

2130: 286-6 Martin opens up, with two slips and a gully, and beats Ambrose first up but no other problems on this placid track for the debut boy.

2126: Vettori leads his men out, with a real spring in his step - and why not. Not often you get to enjoy the kind of ascendancy New Zealand have right now.

2115: It's a glorious morning in Hamilton, sun shining, which in theory should help the wicket break up further - bad news for Vaughan and co if unless they can bat really well today. Colly's a real fighter and Ambrose looked tidy but you have to say there isn't much to come if they are parted first up.

2110: Excuse that previous outburst, sleeping at odd hours and eating odd things at odd times has clearly affected my mental processes. I've been getting a whole new take on life with living in a different time zone to most people in this country.

2108: Hello and welcome to my party. It's Friday night and I'm going to let my hair down, with your help! I'm looking forward to Colly and Amby blasting a quick 200-odd, then England will skittle the Kiwis out for about 150 and knock off the runs tomorrow.

"If they can get England out with a lead of 100-plus and then go and smack off a few runs, particularly with McCullum, I'd send him out early, and then by the end of the day I'd hope to give England a few awkward overs tonight and a day tomorrow."
Geoff Boycott on TMS