Kev's driving ambition

Phillips' learns the points won't count

Sunderland striker Kevin Phillips had the police in stitches when he was stopped for speeding recently.

When told his punishment would include three points, he replied: "Any chance of giving them to the team?"

Phillips was pulled over in West Rainton, Co Durham, for doing 62mph in a 50mph zone in his BMW.

Policeman Nigel Craig said: "He jokingly asked if the points could go to the club to ease their plight."

Shame it doesn't work like that - it would be great fun to see Sgt Wilko burning around the local villages in an open top Lamborghini.

Players get the chop

A referee took out his revenge on abusive players by threatening them with an axe.

The official flipped during a five-a-side game between Romark FC and Czech Club in Finchley, north London.

One witness claimed: "All hell broke loose. The ref was like Conan the Barbarian.

"He was getting abuse from the Romark players and he abandoned the game.

"One of the players called him a fairy and he went completely berserk. He ran off the pitch and returned a few moments later stripped to the waist and waving a long axe around his head."

The unnamed ref sent players scattering, although he did not catch any of them with the axe. He then got in his car and drove off.