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5. Reboot
Cleo is hunted down by Honour’s drones. Episode five of the audio drama series, set in the worlds of Doctor Who.
By Ken Cheng
Abby and Shawna go to meet Rani Chandra at Bannerman Road, but they aren’t expecting the house to be booby-trapped. Meanwhile Cleo is taken hostage by Honour Bray. She learns the truth of her twisted plan and meets the giant metal ‘Cobot’ tasked with carrying it out.
Cleo Proctor - Charlie Craggs
Abby McPhail - Lois Chimimba
Shawna Thompson - Holly Quin-Ankrah
Apex Costa - Freddy Carter
Honour Bray - Dervla Kirwan
Rani Chandra - Anjli Mohindra
Mr Smith - Alexander Armstrong
Drone - Wilf Scolding
Directed by Bethany Weimers
Producer: James Goss
Executive Producer: James Robinson
Sound design by Thea Cochrane
Original Composition by David Devereux
A BBC Studios Production for BBC Sounds
#DoctorWhoRedacted
New episodes released Mondays. If you're in the UK, listen to the full series of Doctor Who: Redacted first on BBC Sounds: bbc.in/42Ge0T0
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2.5 – REBOOT
2.5 – REBOOTby Ken Cheng
FX: BBC Sounds Sting
ANNO Doctor Who: Redacted, Episode Five. Reboot by Ken Cheng.
SCENE 5.1 – INT. CLEO’S FLAT – DAY
FX birds chirping, door opens, Apex walks in. Bed rustles as Cleo wakes.
CLEO Morning. Have you been out already?
APEX It’s 8:30
CLEO Let me guess, intergalactic jet lag?
APEX Something like that. Have you heard back from the Doctor?
FX: Fumbles for phone
CLEO Nah. Sorry - nothing. (YAWNS, SMILES) I had such a nicetime last night.
APEX I got you a gift.
FX he hands over magic flute
CLEO Your magic flute.
APEX Again, it’s a waveform disruptor.
CLEO Magic Flute.
APEX Try the red button.
CLEO 'Kay.
FX button press.
CLEO Nothing’s happening.
APEX Wait.
FX a pause, then some grand classical music
CLEO I love it. No-one’s ever…never mind.
FX They embrace.
APEX Right let’s do breakfast. I’ve booked a table somewhere in Mayfair. Sounded cheap.
CLEO You serious?
APEX No. That was a joke. I know what Mayfair is.
CLEO You’re not allowed to do that! Wait, we can’t though, right? all the killer robots?
APEX (WINNING) I’m not going to let Honour scare me. There’s no point in me staying if I’m not allowed to enjoy the thing I stayed for.
CLEO Awww...I’m a thing.
APEX It was meant to be romantic.
CLEO Don’t worry, it was.
APEX So. We can make plans over breakfast.
CLEO Sure. Let’s just head to Greggs, though. I’ve got a good feeling about today.
FX Apex’s space phone buzzes.
APEX I‘ve got to get this, sorry.
CLEO You have a space phone?
APEX Yes.
CLEO Why didn’t you tell me you had a space phone?
APEX Different network. Space network. I really have to get [this]
CLEO Sure sure.
APEX (INTO PHONE) Hiii. (PAUSE) Yeah. I am. (LONG PAUSE)Right. Okay. Thanks.
CLEO You’re making a bad news face.
APEX That was a contact. Legal-ish. Might be able to help get Honour off my back. I’ve got to go, like now. Do you mind?
CLEO Can I come?
APEX I don’t wanna get you involved. I won’t be long, I promise. [BEAT] And then I can take you anywhere you’d like. On this planet, or another of your choosing.
CLEO Deal.
APEX Perfect. Start thinking about where you wanna go.
FX He starts for the door. Rustle of bedclothes as Cleo throws the covers off and gets out.
CLEO So...when will you be back?
APEX I’ll be back here at 6. On the dot.
CLEO 6. Great. I’ll see you here at 6. Hope your friend is able to help out.
APEX Hopefully. Enjoy seeing your friend Greg.
FX Teleportation noisesSCENE 5.2 – INT. BUS – DAY
RANI (VOICE MESSAGE) Hello Abby, it’s Rani Chandra here. I’ve got your message. And totally, I’m always happy to help fellow podcasters out. Especially as this could be good for both of us. I’m currently in New York so I’ll be touching down at Heathrow tomorrow morning…
FX Jet taking off.
RANI Okay I’m about to board! I’m pinning you an address, meet me there tomorrow at 11? Oh, and don’t go in until I arrive, got it?
SHAWNA That’s the fifth time you’ve listened to that Abby…
ABBY Why does she want us to meet her at this place?
SHAWNA It’s a power move. We’re the red squirrels and she’s the grey squirrel coming for our niche.
ABBY Come on Shawna.
SHAWNA Don’t you think it was a bit much with all the jet noises “oh I have to board now!” Meanwhile, we’re riding the 112.
BUS (AUTOMATED ANNOUNCER) Next stop: Audley Road
SHAWNA Do you think other paranormal investigators stay at hostels and ask their clients to cover their bus fares?
ABBY (LAUGHS) Shawna, I think we’re the only paranormal investigators who ride the bus.
SHAWNA Right. Well either way I’m going to expense this.
(beat)
Will you stop checking your phone every 10 seconds? She’sprobably on airplane mode.
ABBY No it’s not that, I was thinking about Cleo.
SHAWNA Oh right. She’ll contact us when she’s ready.
ABBY I just feel awful. I’m not saying you went too far (SHE IS)
SHAWNA She made her choice. The wrong choice.
ABBY But, you don’t think she’s in danger? Like is HE dangerous?
SHAWNA [Beat] I don’t know.
ABBY Oh I think the next one’s our stop.
BUS (AUTOMATED) Next stop: Bannerman Road.
ABBY Yep, that’s us.
SCENE 5.3 – EXT. OUTSIDE GREGG’S – DAY
FX Cleo leaving Gregg’s
CLEO (MUTTERING TO HERSELF) No vegan sausage rolls, pull up your socks guys…
BYSTANDER (SCREAMING)
CLEO Oh here we go…
FX drone noises
DRONE Target acquired.
CLEO Another drone…what this time?
FX intense drone beeping
I got nothing for you unless you want a freaking bean and cheese pasty? Yeah, well have it anyway. (EFFORT AS)
FX She throws her pasty at the drone and starts running
See ya! (RUNNING) Oh no, oh come on.
DRONE Submit for questioning.
FX the drone hovers behind, speeding up
DRONE Submit.
FX the drone fires a warning shot, causing an explosion nearby
CLEO (SLOWING DOWN) Okay, okay. Okay, I should be okay under here.
FX footsteps become echoey and watery – she’s under a canal bridge.
Okay, think I lost them.
(BEAT)
Oh come on...
FX sound of multiple drones closing in from several directions
DRONES Target acquired.
CLEO Whatever…I surrender?
HONOUR (RECORDING) Cleo Proctor, Honour Bray here. We weren’t properly introduced. Let’s get coffee, woman to woman. I won’t take no for an answer.
SCENE 5.4 – EXT. 13 BANNERMAN ROAD – DAY
ABBY Okay this is it. 13 Bannerman Road.
SHAWNA What is this place? I was expecting a studio or an office. It looks like some old lady lives here.
ABBY Doesn’t feel like anyone lives here. The weeds are taller than I am.
SHAWNA This place is giving me…a vibe. Not a good one. Really creepy. (BEAT) Right, shall we knock?
ABBY No! Rani told us to wait for her to arrive.
SHAWNA No way. I want to know what this place is I’m not standing on the street. People will think we’re burglars. Or worse, estate agents.
ABBY What’s got into you Shawna?
SHAWNA I just...I just don’t like it when you don’t back us.
ABBY What do you mean?
SHAWNA Some cool hotshot podcaster with a private jet sponsored by JP Morgan comes along and you act like we’re two toddlers who didn’t face down UNIT and a world-ending apocalypse. This is what we do.ABBY Shawna...(sighs). Just be careful. Do NOT touch anything.
SHAWNA Yes! That’s the Abby we all know and love!
SCENE 5.5 – INT. 13 BANNERMAN ROAD – DAY
FX knocking, followed by door creaking open
SHAWNA Looks like someone’s been here already.
ABBY (CALLING) Rani? Shawna, I don’t like this at all.
SHAWNA It’s okay, it’s just an empty house in Ealing nothing is going to hurt us, well, nothing…supernatural.
FX Another door creaking open
ABBY There’s still a lot of old furniture here.
SHAWNA Here; look at this photo.
ABBY Is that Rani? She looks so young. I wonder who the others are? Maybe this was her family home or something.
SHAWNA I’m going to search upstairs.
ABBY Wait-
SHAWNA (EFFORT) It’s fine, Abby! I’ll be ok, no ghosts or robots this time.
FX Shawna runs upstairs
ABBY (BEAT) Shawna!
SHAWNA (FROM UPSTAIRS) There’s nothing up here - wait, I think there’s some attic stairs.
ABBY Absolutely not! Nothing good ever comes from searching an attic.
SHAWNA (FAINTER) It’s okay, the door’s just propped open. There’s a weird noise coming from inside, though, I’ll see -
ABBY Shawna be careful! Don’t touch anything!
SHAWNA (SCREAMS) Abby!
FX Distant WOOOMPH of energy. Like she’s beenSWALLOWED.
ABBY Shawna?!SCENE 5.6 – INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
FX large metal door opening and closing, drone beeping sounds
CLEO Alright alright, I’m moving! You try climbing 100 steps in one go.
FX more beeping
CLEO We can’t all fly. All right then, where’s her ladyship?
FX smaller regular door opens
HONOUR (ENERGETIC) Sorry! Sorry! Got stuck in a meeting. Tell you what they don’t tell you about being this job is (WHISPERS) it’s a lot of pointless meetings.
CLEO What’s all this about?
HONOUR Have a seat. Is there anything you want? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate? I’m going to put the kettle on.
FX kettle being filled
CLEO A...peppermint tea?
HONOUR Ooh I like that – I might well join you.
CLEO What is this place? What is all this stuff?
HONOUR Oh just my collection – paintings, sculptures, artefacts. Doyou like them?
CLEO Err yeah sure. Did Apex steal all this?
HONOUR Not all of it. (BEAT) So you’re Cleo Proctor, I’m very fascinated to meet you properly. Of course Apex chose you, he does like them young and you’re...practically a child.
CLEO You’re not that old are you?
HONOUR I’ve just turned 112.
CLEO (BEAT) OK. (BEAT) Sis, drop the skincare routine.
HONOUR There’s a really thick fungal mucus you can find in the Argalian Swamp back on Origin, I’ll fetch you a batch if you want.
CLEO I’m good.
FX kettle finishes boiling.
HONOUR Bag in or bag out?CLEO In please.
HONOUR Great, a woman who knows what she wants. I’m like that you know. When I want something I really want something, do you know what I mean?
CLEO I guess so? I do want an air fryer.
HONOUR And I want a TARDIS.
CLEO Yeah, that’s the same.
HONOUR No no no it actually is, I think. You see, for you, an air fryer would be a massive improvement on your life! It represents stability, comfort, growth, am I making sense?
CLEO I just want to make frozen chips in 2 minutes.
HONOUR Right, but for you...that is a big deal, whereas I, I’ve already got an air fryer, probably, but at the end of the day I’m still working. I’m still in these endless meetings!
CLEO You’ve lost me.
HONOUR Cleo, it’s the last TARDIS. Do you have any idea what that would go for on the open market? What certain parties would pay for time travel technology? I could retire right now.Unfortunately that’s where we, as in you and me, are at an impasse, because I know you know how I can get my TARDIS. And you’re not leaving here until I do.
CLEO What makes you think I have a TARDIS? I don’t even own my own flat, which also happens to be smaller on the inside.
HONOUR Look, Cleo. You’re obviously really cool.
CLEO Awh thanks babe.
HONOUR I almost envy you. Your career, your future, your CV...your rent? You don’t seem to have any ambition at all! You just live your life, with no purpose or goal whatsoever. That must be freeing, one imagines.
CLEO Errr, is this still a compliment?
HONOUR I have worked so hard to get where I am, and yet it’s you that people are still interested in. Apex...The Doctor? (BEAT) Yes, I know about the Doctor and I know they took a particular interest in you.
CLEO Honestly, we’re not exactly BFFs. If anything she ghosted me. [THE PENNY DROPS] And you would know what that feels like, wouldn’t you?SCENE 5.7 – INT. BANNERMAN ROAD ATTIC – DAY
FX energy sounds, Abby runs in
ABBY (RUNNING) Shawna! Are you okay?
SHAWNA (TRYING NOT TO SOUND STRESSED) Yes. I’m...fine. It’sfine. I’m totally fine. My hand’s stuck to an actual forcefield.
ABBY Why would someone put a forcefield around a chimney?
SHAWNA My hand’s still stuck to it.
ABBY Well pull it out!
SHAWNA (sarcastic) Oh yeah I didn’t actually think to do that! It’s stuck, Abs! Properly, like cement.
ABBY I told you to not touch anything?!
SHAWNA You know sometimes you see a sign that says “WET PAINT DO NOT TOUCH”
ABBY Shawna this isn’t wet paint, it’s a blimmin forcefield!
FX we hear a door slam
RANI (FROM AFAR) Hello? Abby, Shawna is that you?
ABBY Oh great. That’s Rani.
SHAWNA Maybe she won’t come upstairs.
FX feet race upstairs.
ABBY She’s coming upstairs.
SHAWNA (STRUGGLING) Maybe I can get it out before she – [gets here]
RANI (RUNNING IN) Oh my [god]… What happened here?!
ABBY Rani, hi -
SHAWNA Thanks for the warning on the booby trap!
RANI I literally did warn you, but go off.
ABBY Her arm’s going to be OK right?
RANI Relax, your arm is fine – I know it looks bad but it’s just an energy field. Nothing to be scared of. Objects can move through it one way but not the other. There’s a bunch of security measures in place.
ABBY Why?
RANI I did say not to go into the house until I arrived.
SHAWNA I don’t know that must have been drowned out under the sounds of your private jet.
RANI It was not a private jet. (BEAT) Would I look this tired if it was?
ABBY I’m sorry we just barged in. The door was open.
RANI No I’m sorry. First forcefield?
SHAWNA Yeah.RANI You get used to them. I’ll get you out in a minute. Now, you needed my help?
ABBY We need to catch an alien thief.
RANI Thought so. That’s actually why I met you here. I got a remote alarm triggered. Someone broke into Bannerman Road. I think they’re after what I wanted to show you.
SHAWNA That’s why I’m stuck to your wall?
RANI I promise you both this is all going to be fine. Relax. Have I already said that?
SHAWNA Reassuring.
RANI Do you trust me?
SHAWNA [SIGH] ...yeah alright.
RANI On the count of 3, push yourself directly forward as quickly as possible, make sure to keep every part of your body straight so it doesn’t get stuck in a weird angle.
SHAWNA Weird angle?!
RANI Are you ready?
SHAWNA Yes, well no, but yes!
RANI You’re doing great. 1...2…3...go!
SHAWNA (TERRIFIED) Ahhhhhhh!
FX energy noise – sinister crackleSCENE 5.8 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE – DAY
HONOUR Ghosted?
CLEO That is what happened though isn’t it? You got ghosted?
HONOUR You don’t get where I am by wasting time or energy on men. I had bigger things to worry about.
CLEO Apex was different though, right? [PAUSE] He got under your skin didn’t he?
HONOUR (PAUSE) It’s not like that at all.
CLEO (STARTS LAUGHING) Oh my days! Hell hath no fury like awoman left on read. I’m so right!
HONOUR (ANNOYED NOW) This is purely business.
CLEO Your warehouse full of tat? What even is that painting anyway – bit rubbish.
HONOUR That? That is an original Artemisia Gentileschi. Do you even know who that is?!
CLEO No. I still have a Britney poster in my room.
HONOUR She was the first woman to become accepted into the Accademia delle Arti del Disegno!
CLEO Yeah, but did she write Me Against the Music?
HONOUR That is... (HUUUUGE SIGH) You are so annoying. Why couldn’t you just make this simple? Why couldn’t you just tell me where to get the TARDIS?
CLEO All this stuff you’ve hoarded and you’re still unhappy. Just another trust fund nepo baby who’s empty inside.
HONOUR (CHUCKLES) Shows what you know.
CLEO Am I wrong, though?
HONOUR You don’t know the first thing about me. I worked hard for this!Because I learned very early on that this world is cruel, and terrible, and there’s only one thing that people care about.
CLEO Oh? What’s that?
HONOUR Stuff. Things, objects. I understood how much power they carry. I was a strange child. When I was 6, I would spend my time in the corner of the playground, collecting tiny, little pebbles, so tiny. But they could light up in the dark. I got called weird, every single day, but I loved them.
CLEO OK, so what?
HONOUR Well, I was able to curate quite the collection of pebbles.Suddenly people went “you know what? That’s actually cool”, children were jealous, and that: that is power. Me?Materialistic? Very well, but from nothing, I made myself very powerful.
CLEO That’s...I guess I was wrong.
HONOUR In Apex, I finally thought I had met someone who shared my vision. Turns out, he was like all the rest; beneath me. A common thief; a spoiled, selfish little boy, terrified of his own feelings. And when he realises you don’t have anything he wants, he’ll leave you too.SCENE 5.9 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC – DAY
RANI OK, she made it through the forcefield in one piece.
ABBY Was there a chance she might not?
RANI Uh
FX large energy noise
RANI Uh oh.
ABBY Rani? What is that?
RANI The bubble’s shrinking. That’s not good.
ABBY What? What’ll happen to Shawna?!
RANI It should be fine, we should have a few hours before it collapses completely.
ABBY What happens then?
RANI There’s every chance the field will just dissipate without any harm to Shawna….
ABBY Or…?
RANI Ok, don’t panic. [BEAT] But it could…it could crush her.Awkward silence.
ABBY Shawna! You’ve got to get her out of there!
RANI It’s okay, I have a plan. Not my first forcefield, remember. I need to get inside it.
ABBY Wait what??
RANI It’s the only way; that’s where the controls are.
ABBY What controls?
RANI Can I trust you to stay here? Whatever happens?
ABBY Yes, yes! Good luck.
RANI Thank you. Back in two secs. [BEAT] I hope. [EFFORT NOISE – in case needed]
ABBY Wait! What happens if you’re -
FX slightly ominous energy noises
ABBY Not?SCENE 5.10 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
CLEO You’re wrong about Apex.
HONOUR Tell me, if he cares about you so much then where is he right now? Where. Is. He?
CLEO [BEAT] I don’t know! [BEAT] But I know he cares about me.
HONOUR Let me tell you something about Apex Costa, because I do know him. You’re nothing. You are literally nothing to him. Just a means to an end.
CLEO Okay…
HONOUR All you have is a connection to the Doctor. As soon as he gets that out of you, he’ll be gone in a heartbeat.
CLEO But he knows I can’t help him. He knows already! And he came back for me.
HONOUR This is what he does, Cleo, and he’s very good at it. He makes women fall in love with him. That’s his power. And he doesn’t use it for good.
CLEO [EUREKA MOMENT] You’re still in love with him aren’t you? Is that why you’re doing all this, the refugees, the drones, the London Underground?
HONOUR OK, bored now. This is about a promise he made. A TARDIS.My TARDIS.FX drone powering up again
CLEO I don’t know how else to say this: I don’t know how to find the Doctor.
HONOUR You must know! Otherwise what’s his angle? Why is Apex so interested in you?!
CLEO We just...like each other?
HONOUR They always want something, even if it’s just to feel wanted.
CLEO Maybe he just likes me more than you.
HONOUR Let’s find out shall we? Let’s find out what kind of man ApexCosta is. Will he come to your rescue?
FX button pressing, door shutters opening
CLEO What are you doing?
FX loud mechanical noises of drones attaching to each other
DRONES Drone 2 of 256 connected. Drone 3 of 256 connected. Drone4 of 256 connected…
HONOUR You wanted an air fryer. I wanted a Cobot…SCENE 5.11 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC
FX energy field noises
RANI (GASPS AS EMERGES) Shawna. You okay?
SHAWNA Rani! What’s going on? Why can’t I see Abby?
RANI I know this is a bit overwhelming right now, but I have to let you know that this bubble is shrinking.
SHAWNA Shrinking?!
RANI Yes, but it should be fine – we have plenty of time. At least acouple of hours before it collapses. We can fix this.
SHAWNA And we’re stuck together against a wall? Great. Where’s Abs?
RANI Other side of the field, she’s fine. [BEAT] Mr Smith, I need you.
Nothing happens.
SHAWNA Who?
RANI [IGNORES HER] Why isn’t that working? That should be working.
SHAWNA Who’s Mr Smith?RANI Mr Smith is a computer.
SHAWNA Sure. Why not?
FX – Rani pops a metal hatch off the wall to access a panel.
RANI It has been a long, long time since I’ve done this. [BEAT] Let’s see.
FX – pushing buttons, a few sad error noises.
SHAWNA You have a computer hidden in your wall.
RANI OK. Looks like someone tried to break into Mr Smith. He’s been shut down a while – whoever did this couldn’t get past the defence protocols, and for some reason they didn’t deactivate. Hmm. This isn’t good.
SHAWNA What isn’t good?
RANI [SMALL LAUGH] We used to ask Sarah Jane questions all the time.
SHAWNA Who’s Sarah Jane?
RANI Someone who, when the world was ending, would say “You’re just going to have to trust me.” And it all worked out fine. Now, you’d better get started.
SHAWNA Me?RANI Shawna Thompson, this is a computer. You’re a computer programmer.
SHAWNA Wait. You know that? You’re not just a nice haircut are ya?
RANI You think my haircut’s nice? Thank you.
SHAWNA Can I really help, or is this to distract me from being crushed by a forcefield? Because neither of us have been doing this anywhere near as long as you have and frankly...I’m scared.
RANI You really can help. (BEAT) Mr Smith has a defence protocol which is supposed to contain whoever’s trying to attack him, except there’s no one here, and it’s not meant to shrink.
SHAWNA Whoever it was, could they have teleported out?
RANI Yes. Very good.
SHAWNA We’ve been on this case a while. Right. What OS does ‘Mr Smith’ run on?
RANI He doesn’t quite run on a normal Operating System.
SHAWNA Are we talking Linux? Ubuntu? TempleOS?
RANI It’s a Xylok.
SHAWNA Wait – is that an alien OS? Wow. Okay. Well…do alien computers have a database, does it respond to inputs, outputs, anything like that?
RANI Yes, backup data pad right here.
SHAWNA Okay, I can work with that. Every system has a hard reboot, I’m sure Mr Smith does too.FX failure sound, energy noises
SHAWNA What was that?
RANI The forcefield, it’s shrinking faster.
FX key pad presses.
SHAWNA How much time do we have?
RANI No idea. (CRIES OUT) Ow. It’s burning.
SHAWNA (PAIN) Yep.
RANI Same energy spread over a smaller area. Keep away from it.Any luck?
SHAWNA (GRUNTS) I’m not sure I can get in in time. Is there some other way?
RANI No.
SHAWNA Sure?
RANI Well. There’s something else we could try.
SHAWNA What?
RANI Complete overload. We – I’d overload the device’s power core. [BEAT] But it’d be forever.
SHAWNA What aren’t you telling me?
RANI Mr Smith is more than a computer. He’s a friend. My oldest friend. A Xylok is a living thing. And I’d have to kill him.SCENE 5.12 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE
FX – The Cobot continues to click together- the count goes up quietly in the background.
DRONES Drone 254 of 256 connected. Drone 255 of 256 connected. Drone 256 of 256 connected…COBOT assembling. Wave integrity holding.
CLEO What’s a Cobot?
HONOUR My drones have assembled to create a giant robotic killing machine. Obviously.
FX: Two giant robotic footsteps.
COBOT Cobot assembly complete.
HONOUR: Your little boyfriend stole the tech from Torchwood for me.Please Cleo, just tell me how to find the Doctor, or my 20-foot friend here will clear out the entire London Underground.
CLEO This is insane! They’ve done nothing to do you! It’s theirhome.
HONOUR I have new tenants lined up. And they’ll pay twice the rent.Earth is an up-and-coming area.
CLEO Leave them alone.HONOUR You know what you have to do.
COBOT Cobot armed and ready.
CLEO Honour, I can’t get to the Doctor. If I could, I would.
HONOUR Then we’re done here.
FX she stands. Starts to walk out.
CLEO What? So what was the point of bringing me here, other than to show me your air fryer.
HONOUR Target practice. (SMILES) Move and my Cobot will execute you. Then, once you’re atoms, it will carry out its instructions and clear the London Underground.
CLEO That’s cold and I have a date to get to.
HONOUR (SMILES) You really think he’ll show up? Do you want to know where Apex is right now? He’s getting me my TARDIS.
CLEO No. You are so wrong about him.
HONOUR Am I? Nice talking, Cleo.
FX And she walks out and the door slams. The Cobot hums sinisterly.SCENE 5.13 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC – NIGHT
FX Energy crackles sinisterly.
SHAWNA What? You can’t kill him if he’s a friend.
RANI I have to. Mr Smith controls all the security measures. I don’t want to do this, but we are running out of time. The field’s getting smaller and smaller…
SHAWNA How long would the overload take?
RANI 60 seconds, maybe?
SHAWNA OK. Give me two minutes.
FX hacker speed typing!
RANI What are you hoping to find?
SHAWNA Every system has a hard reboot, a CTRL+ALT+DELETE, I just need to find out how to do it.
RANI How do you understand any of this?
SHAWNA You said he was alive? I think he’s designed himself for human users. I…kinda get it.
RANI That makes sense he’s a good egg. Mostly, a very good egg. SHAWNA I can do this.
FX energy field is getting louder and closer
RANI Shawna…Shawna! (PAIN) The forcefield. Don’t let it touch you – I think it’s lethal now!
SHAWNA Okay. Okay. I can find the reboot on the system…
RANI (PANICKING) It’s getting faster!
FX energy field increasing still, very loud
SHAWNA It’s here! It’s here! There was a reboot, years ago. I canreactivate it!
RANI (PAIN) Shawna, there’s no time.
SHAWNA Wait...
RANI Shawna!
FX And the energy field roars!SCENE 5.14 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE
FX The cobot beeps at Cleo.
CLEO Just so you know I’ve got a date in 20 minutes.
FX The cobot bleeps faster.
COBOT Do not move.
CLEO Chill. I’m just gonna sit here, minding my own business, and drink my peppermint tea.
FX Cleo sips tea.
CLEO (SIPS) I’m up against a bit of a deadline here. You’re held together with magnets, yeah?
COBOT A wave integrity field.
CLEO Nice.
FX Cleo takes magic flute from her pocket
CLEO Hey do you know what this is? Apex gave it to me. It’s a magic flute.
COBOT Correction. It is a wave disruptor.CLEO Whatever. It’s got a lot of buttons and sort of works on rats.As I said. I’m on a deadline, so I’m just going to –
FX Cleo activates magic flute – frantic pulse. Cobot takes the hit
DRONES WILDTRACK Field integrity collapsing. Drone 256 of 256 disconnected…Drone 2 of 256 Disconnected. Drone 134 of 256 disconnected.Cobot disassembling!
FX With a burble of Drones, the Cobot lands in a heap on the floor.
CLEO Push all the buttons at once. [BEAT] It’s almost 6 o’clock. I gotta find Apex.
FX Cleo yanks the door opens and runs for it.SCENE 5.15 – INT. BANNERMAN ROAD.
FX The forcefield reaches fever pitch.
RANI Shawna! Quick!
SHAWNA And…reset!
FX The forcefield dissipates.
SHAWNA Oh wow. It worked. That actually worked!
RANI You did it!
FX: Abby races over.
ABBY Shawna!
SHAWNA Abby!
FX: They hug.
ABBY Don’t you EVER put your hand in another force field again. I swear to God.
RANI I’m so sorry. This honestly wasn’t meant to be so dramatic.You said someone was stealing alien artefacts? The reason I was in New York was because of my friend Luke - there’s been a raid there. The world is being cleaned out of alien technology. And now they’ve come for Mr Smith. This is personal.
ABBY We know who the thief is. But we don’t know what he wants.
RANI Shall we get on that? I think Mr Smith’s rebooted.
SHAWNA Should be safe.
RANI OK. Here goes. Stand back. [BEAT] Mr Smith, I need you.
FX Mr Smith fanfare plays, as he unpacks from the fireplace
ABBY
There’s a computer-
SHAWNA In the wall, yeah.
MR SMITH Hello, Rani. How are you?
RANI I’ve never been so glad to hear your voice.
ABBY Whooaaa.
RANI Mr Smith, this is –
MR SMITH Abigail MacPhail and Shawna Thompson. Hosts of the Blue Box Files. Sarah, Sarah Jane programmed me to track any discourse pertaining to the TARDIS or the Doctor.
SHAWNA What? The Doctor! Cleo was right -ABBY This is…incredible.
SHAWNA Yeah I can’t believe you were going to destroy this.
MR SMITH Excuse me?
RANI Nothing! [BEAT] What happened here, Mr Smith?
MR SMITH An intruder tried to access my database. They were looking for the whereabouts of the Doctor.
FX Blip! Footage plays – Mr Smith being wrenched apart
APEX (ANNOYED) Come on! I’ve got to find the Doctor. I have to!Just give me his location, you piece of –
FX Blip
SHAWNA Apex. We were right about him.
ABBY Poor Cleo.
RANI Did he find anything?
MR SMITH They did not find out where the Doctor is because I do not know where the Doctor is.
RANI You don’t know?
MR SMITH The Doctor is missing. Something is amiss with their timeline.
RANI That’s not good.
ABBY What does this mean?RANI The Doctor can’t be missing, at least, not to Mr Smith.Something’s gone really wrong. (BEAT) Mr Smith, prepare tosend out a distress call on all available channels.
MR SMITH Broadcasting on all intergalactic frequencies.
RANI Attention to anyone out there who can help: The Doctor is missing, I repeat, the Doctor is missing.SCENE 5.16 – INT. CLEO’S FLAT – NIGHT
FX Cleo entering flat front door.
CLEO (out of breath) Okay, only seven minutes late. He better have waited.
FX puts jacket down
CLEO Apex? You here? I’m here, I’m so sorry I’m late! You’ll never guess where I’ve been…Apex?
FX opens bedroom door.
CLEO Apex?
FX A small box projects a hologram of Apex.
CLEO What?
APEX (RECORDED) Hi Cleo, just leaving you a quick hologram. I had a really great time last night. You know that, right? But I can’t fix this. I’ve got no-one left to turn to for help. I got in way over my head this time…so I…I’m sorry. This is really terrible timing because yesterday…last night…it was one of…it was amazing. [PAUSE] The Doctor’s not coming. I can’t save London Underground and I don’t wanna put you in danger. It’s better for everyone if I just go. Maybe…maybe Honour will come after me, not you guys.
CLEO You can’t…APEX [RECORDING] Maybe when this blows over we can reconnect. Until then, I..um…see ya Cleo.
FX hologram powers down
CLEO No way…he can’t do this to me.
FX she picks up the box, throws it against the wall
CLEO I’m such an idiot. You idiot! [BEAT] I can’t believe I…[BEAT] Nope. Not this time.
FX: She opens her phone. Records a voice note.
CLEO [RECORDING] This is Cleo Proctor from the Blue Box Files, recording what might be my final entry. Abs, Shawna (BEAT) I’m going to London Underground. Honour is going to clear out the refugees and they have no idea what’s coming.Someone’s got to help them.There’s no Apex, there’s no Doctor, and I don’t know where you guys are. I’m the only one left. I’m on my own. I did it before and I can do it again. [BEAT] Oh, and Apex, if you ever hear this, get some therapy, you absolute manchild.SCENE 5.17 – INT. THE LONDON UNDERGROUND – NIGHT
FX Same effect from Episode 3 – the light tunnel into London Underground. She hops off with a yelp.
CLEO OK, that wasn’t so bad. (echoey) Hello?! Is anyone down there?
FX She runs down the echoey tunnels.
CLEO [QUIET] Where the hell is everyone? Last time it was jumpin’ jumpin’ down here. Hello?
FX Distance footfall. Heavy.
CLEO Hello? Listen – if you’re hiding, we need to run. Honour is coming. And she’s bringing…
FX The footfalls get heavier and heavier. A march.
CLEO She’s bringing a really, really big robot called..
COBOT Cobot detecting life form.
CLEO You again?
COBOT Cobot armed and ready.
FX Cleo pulls out magic flute as the Cobot advances.
CLEO (BRAVE) I’m armed. Remember what happened last time? I’m Cleo Proctor and I’m going to stop you.
FX The footsteps get really, really heavy. Stops.
COBOT
Wave disruptor bypassed. You have no other weapons.
CLEO No.
FX The Cobot regards her. Sinister operational hum.
COBOT
Step aside or you will be eliminated.
CLEO Just leave them alone.
COBOT Step aside human female.
CLEO No, I’m not letting you into that camp.
COBOT Step aside. Final warning.
CLEO They aren’t hurting anyone. (BEAT) Honour? Honour, can you hear me? Just leave them alone!
COBOT Obstructions will be destroyed.
FX The cobot grabs Cleo, who screams.
CLEO No! Let go!
COBOT Fatal force permitted.
Cleo screams in pain.
The music builds into a gleefully Whovian, alien symphony of synths and electric keyboard that cuts off into piano that continues under the rest of the credits.
END CREDITS Doctor Who: Redacted. Episode Five. Reboot by Ken Cheng. Starring Charlie Craggs as Cleo Proctor, Lois Chimimba Abby Mcphail, Holly Quin-Ankrah Shawna Thompson, Freddy Carter Apex Costa, Dervla Kirwan Honour Bray, Anji Mohindra Rani Chandra, Alexander Armstrong Mr Smith and Wilf Scolding as drone. Directed by Bethany Weimers, Producer James Goss, Sound design by Thea Cochrane, Original Composition by David Devereux. A BBC Studios Production for BBC Sounds.
FX: BBC Sounds Sting
ANNO Doctor Who: Redacted, Episode Five. Reboot by Ken Cheng.
SCENE 5.1 – INT. CLEO’S FLAT – DAY
FX birds chirping, door opens, Apex walks in. Bed rustles as Cleo wakes.
CLEO Morning. Have you been out already?
APEX It’s 8:30
CLEO Let me guess, intergalactic jet lag?
APEX Something like that. Have you heard back from the Doctor?
FX: Fumbles for phone
CLEO Nah. Sorry - nothing. (YAWNS, SMILES) I had such a nicetime last night.
APEX I got you a gift.
FX he hands over magic flute
CLEO Your magic flute.
APEX Again, it’s a waveform disruptor.
CLEO Magic Flute.
APEX Try the red button.
CLEO 'Kay.
FX button press.
CLEO Nothing’s happening.
APEX Wait.
FX a pause, then some grand classical music
CLEO I love it. No-one’s ever…never mind.
FX They embrace.
APEX Right let’s do breakfast. I’ve booked a table somewhere in Mayfair. Sounded cheap.
CLEO You serious?
APEX No. That was a joke. I know what Mayfair is.
CLEO You’re not allowed to do that! Wait, we can’t though, right? all the killer robots?
APEX (WINNING) I’m not going to let Honour scare me. There’s no point in me staying if I’m not allowed to enjoy the thing I stayed for.
CLEO Awww...I’m a thing.
APEX It was meant to be romantic.
CLEO Don’t worry, it was.
APEX So. We can make plans over breakfast.
CLEO Sure. Let’s just head to Greggs, though. I’ve got a good feeling about today.
FX Apex’s space phone buzzes.
APEX I‘ve got to get this, sorry.
CLEO You have a space phone?
APEX Yes.
CLEO Why didn’t you tell me you had a space phone?
APEX Different network. Space network. I really have to get [this]
CLEO Sure sure.
APEX (INTO PHONE) Hiii. (PAUSE) Yeah. I am. (LONG PAUSE)Right. Okay. Thanks.
CLEO You’re making a bad news face.
APEX That was a contact. Legal-ish. Might be able to help get Honour off my back. I’ve got to go, like now. Do you mind?
CLEO Can I come?
APEX I don’t wanna get you involved. I won’t be long, I promise. [BEAT] And then I can take you anywhere you’d like. On this planet, or another of your choosing.
CLEO Deal.
APEX Perfect. Start thinking about where you wanna go.
FX He starts for the door. Rustle of bedclothes as Cleo throws the covers off and gets out.
CLEO So...when will you be back?
APEX I’ll be back here at 6. On the dot.
CLEO 6. Great. I’ll see you here at 6. Hope your friend is able to help out.
APEX Hopefully. Enjoy seeing your friend Greg.
FX Teleportation noisesSCENE 5.2 – INT. BUS – DAY
RANI (VOICE MESSAGE) Hello Abby, it’s Rani Chandra here. I’ve got your message. And totally, I’m always happy to help fellow podcasters out. Especially as this could be good for both of us. I’m currently in New York so I’ll be touching down at Heathrow tomorrow morning…
FX Jet taking off.
RANI Okay I’m about to board! I’m pinning you an address, meet me there tomorrow at 11? Oh, and don’t go in until I arrive, got it?
SHAWNA That’s the fifth time you’ve listened to that Abby…
ABBY Why does she want us to meet her at this place?
SHAWNA It’s a power move. We’re the red squirrels and she’s the grey squirrel coming for our niche.
ABBY Come on Shawna.
SHAWNA Don’t you think it was a bit much with all the jet noises “oh I have to board now!” Meanwhile, we’re riding the 112.
BUS (AUTOMATED ANNOUNCER) Next stop: Audley Road
SHAWNA Do you think other paranormal investigators stay at hostels and ask their clients to cover their bus fares?
ABBY (LAUGHS) Shawna, I think we’re the only paranormal investigators who ride the bus.
SHAWNA Right. Well either way I’m going to expense this.
(beat)
Will you stop checking your phone every 10 seconds? She’sprobably on airplane mode.
ABBY No it’s not that, I was thinking about Cleo.
SHAWNA Oh right. She’ll contact us when she’s ready.
ABBY I just feel awful. I’m not saying you went too far (SHE IS)
SHAWNA She made her choice. The wrong choice.
ABBY But, you don’t think she’s in danger? Like is HE dangerous?
SHAWNA [Beat] I don’t know.
ABBY Oh I think the next one’s our stop.
BUS (AUTOMATED) Next stop: Bannerman Road.
ABBY Yep, that’s us.
SCENE 5.3 – EXT. OUTSIDE GREGG’S – DAY
FX Cleo leaving Gregg’s
CLEO (MUTTERING TO HERSELF) No vegan sausage rolls, pull up your socks guys…
BYSTANDER (SCREAMING)
CLEO Oh here we go…
FX drone noises
DRONE Target acquired.
CLEO Another drone…what this time?
FX intense drone beeping
I got nothing for you unless you want a freaking bean and cheese pasty? Yeah, well have it anyway. (EFFORT AS)
FX She throws her pasty at the drone and starts running
See ya! (RUNNING) Oh no, oh come on.
DRONE Submit for questioning.
FX the drone hovers behind, speeding up
DRONE Submit.
FX the drone fires a warning shot, causing an explosion nearby
CLEO (SLOWING DOWN) Okay, okay. Okay, I should be okay under here.
FX footsteps become echoey and watery – she’s under a canal bridge.
Okay, think I lost them.
(BEAT)
Oh come on...
FX sound of multiple drones closing in from several directions
DRONES Target acquired.
CLEO Whatever…I surrender?
HONOUR (RECORDING) Cleo Proctor, Honour Bray here. We weren’t properly introduced. Let’s get coffee, woman to woman. I won’t take no for an answer.
SCENE 5.4 – EXT. 13 BANNERMAN ROAD – DAY
ABBY Okay this is it. 13 Bannerman Road.
SHAWNA What is this place? I was expecting a studio or an office. It looks like some old lady lives here.
ABBY Doesn’t feel like anyone lives here. The weeds are taller than I am.
SHAWNA This place is giving me…a vibe. Not a good one. Really creepy. (BEAT) Right, shall we knock?
ABBY No! Rani told us to wait for her to arrive.
SHAWNA No way. I want to know what this place is I’m not standing on the street. People will think we’re burglars. Or worse, estate agents.
ABBY What’s got into you Shawna?
SHAWNA I just...I just don’t like it when you don’t back us.
ABBY What do you mean?
SHAWNA Some cool hotshot podcaster with a private jet sponsored by JP Morgan comes along and you act like we’re two toddlers who didn’t face down UNIT and a world-ending apocalypse. This is what we do.ABBY Shawna...(sighs). Just be careful. Do NOT touch anything.
SHAWNA Yes! That’s the Abby we all know and love!
SCENE 5.5 – INT. 13 BANNERMAN ROAD – DAY
FX knocking, followed by door creaking open
SHAWNA Looks like someone’s been here already.
ABBY (CALLING) Rani? Shawna, I don’t like this at all.
SHAWNA It’s okay, it’s just an empty house in Ealing nothing is going to hurt us, well, nothing…supernatural.
FX Another door creaking open
ABBY There’s still a lot of old furniture here.
SHAWNA Here; look at this photo.
ABBY Is that Rani? She looks so young. I wonder who the others are? Maybe this was her family home or something.
SHAWNA I’m going to search upstairs.
ABBY Wait-
SHAWNA (EFFORT) It’s fine, Abby! I’ll be ok, no ghosts or robots this time.
FX Shawna runs upstairs
ABBY (BEAT) Shawna!
SHAWNA (FROM UPSTAIRS) There’s nothing up here - wait, I think there’s some attic stairs.
ABBY Absolutely not! Nothing good ever comes from searching an attic.
SHAWNA (FAINTER) It’s okay, the door’s just propped open. There’s a weird noise coming from inside, though, I’ll see -
ABBY Shawna be careful! Don’t touch anything!
SHAWNA (SCREAMS) Abby!
FX Distant WOOOMPH of energy. Like she’s beenSWALLOWED.
ABBY Shawna?!SCENE 5.6 – INT. WAREHOUSE - DAY
FX large metal door opening and closing, drone beeping sounds
CLEO Alright alright, I’m moving! You try climbing 100 steps in one go.
FX more beeping
CLEO We can’t all fly. All right then, where’s her ladyship?
FX smaller regular door opens
HONOUR (ENERGETIC) Sorry! Sorry! Got stuck in a meeting. Tell you what they don’t tell you about being this job is (WHISPERS) it’s a lot of pointless meetings.
CLEO What’s all this about?
HONOUR Have a seat. Is there anything you want? Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate? I’m going to put the kettle on.
FX kettle being filled
CLEO A...peppermint tea?
HONOUR Ooh I like that – I might well join you.
CLEO What is this place? What is all this stuff?
HONOUR Oh just my collection – paintings, sculptures, artefacts. Doyou like them?
CLEO Err yeah sure. Did Apex steal all this?
HONOUR Not all of it. (BEAT) So you’re Cleo Proctor, I’m very fascinated to meet you properly. Of course Apex chose you, he does like them young and you’re...practically a child.
CLEO You’re not that old are you?
HONOUR I’ve just turned 112.
CLEO (BEAT) OK. (BEAT) Sis, drop the skincare routine.
HONOUR There’s a really thick fungal mucus you can find in the Argalian Swamp back on Origin, I’ll fetch you a batch if you want.
CLEO I’m good.
FX kettle finishes boiling.
HONOUR Bag in or bag out?CLEO In please.
HONOUR Great, a woman who knows what she wants. I’m like that you know. When I want something I really want something, do you know what I mean?
CLEO I guess so? I do want an air fryer.
HONOUR And I want a TARDIS.
CLEO Yeah, that’s the same.
HONOUR No no no it actually is, I think. You see, for you, an air fryer would be a massive improvement on your life! It represents stability, comfort, growth, am I making sense?
CLEO I just want to make frozen chips in 2 minutes.
HONOUR Right, but for you...that is a big deal, whereas I, I’ve already got an air fryer, probably, but at the end of the day I’m still working. I’m still in these endless meetings!
CLEO You’ve lost me.
HONOUR Cleo, it’s the last TARDIS. Do you have any idea what that would go for on the open market? What certain parties would pay for time travel technology? I could retire right now.Unfortunately that’s where we, as in you and me, are at an impasse, because I know you know how I can get my TARDIS. And you’re not leaving here until I do.
CLEO What makes you think I have a TARDIS? I don’t even own my own flat, which also happens to be smaller on the inside.
HONOUR Look, Cleo. You’re obviously really cool.
CLEO Awh thanks babe.
HONOUR I almost envy you. Your career, your future, your CV...your rent? You don’t seem to have any ambition at all! You just live your life, with no purpose or goal whatsoever. That must be freeing, one imagines.
CLEO Errr, is this still a compliment?
HONOUR I have worked so hard to get where I am, and yet it’s you that people are still interested in. Apex...The Doctor? (BEAT) Yes, I know about the Doctor and I know they took a particular interest in you.
CLEO Honestly, we’re not exactly BFFs. If anything she ghosted me. [THE PENNY DROPS] And you would know what that feels like, wouldn’t you?SCENE 5.7 – INT. BANNERMAN ROAD ATTIC – DAY
FX energy sounds, Abby runs in
ABBY (RUNNING) Shawna! Are you okay?
SHAWNA (TRYING NOT TO SOUND STRESSED) Yes. I’m...fine. It’sfine. I’m totally fine. My hand’s stuck to an actual forcefield.
ABBY Why would someone put a forcefield around a chimney?
SHAWNA My hand’s still stuck to it.
ABBY Well pull it out!
SHAWNA (sarcastic) Oh yeah I didn’t actually think to do that! It’s stuck, Abs! Properly, like cement.
ABBY I told you to not touch anything?!
SHAWNA You know sometimes you see a sign that says “WET PAINT DO NOT TOUCH”
ABBY Shawna this isn’t wet paint, it’s a blimmin forcefield!
FX we hear a door slam
RANI (FROM AFAR) Hello? Abby, Shawna is that you?
ABBY Oh great. That’s Rani.
SHAWNA Maybe she won’t come upstairs.
FX feet race upstairs.
ABBY She’s coming upstairs.
SHAWNA (STRUGGLING) Maybe I can get it out before she – [gets here]
RANI (RUNNING IN) Oh my [god]… What happened here?!
ABBY Rani, hi -
SHAWNA Thanks for the warning on the booby trap!
RANI I literally did warn you, but go off.
ABBY Her arm’s going to be OK right?
RANI Relax, your arm is fine – I know it looks bad but it’s just an energy field. Nothing to be scared of. Objects can move through it one way but not the other. There’s a bunch of security measures in place.
ABBY Why?
RANI I did say not to go into the house until I arrived.
SHAWNA I don’t know that must have been drowned out under the sounds of your private jet.
RANI It was not a private jet. (BEAT) Would I look this tired if it was?
ABBY I’m sorry we just barged in. The door was open.
RANI No I’m sorry. First forcefield?
SHAWNA Yeah.RANI You get used to them. I’ll get you out in a minute. Now, you needed my help?
ABBY We need to catch an alien thief.
RANI Thought so. That’s actually why I met you here. I got a remote alarm triggered. Someone broke into Bannerman Road. I think they’re after what I wanted to show you.
SHAWNA That’s why I’m stuck to your wall?
RANI I promise you both this is all going to be fine. Relax. Have I already said that?
SHAWNA Reassuring.
RANI Do you trust me?
SHAWNA [SIGH] ...yeah alright.
RANI On the count of 3, push yourself directly forward as quickly as possible, make sure to keep every part of your body straight so it doesn’t get stuck in a weird angle.
SHAWNA Weird angle?!
RANI Are you ready?
SHAWNA Yes, well no, but yes!
RANI You’re doing great. 1...2…3...go!
SHAWNA (TERRIFIED) Ahhhhhhh!
FX energy noise – sinister crackleSCENE 5.8 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE – DAY
HONOUR Ghosted?
CLEO That is what happened though isn’t it? You got ghosted?
HONOUR You don’t get where I am by wasting time or energy on men. I had bigger things to worry about.
CLEO Apex was different though, right? [PAUSE] He got under your skin didn’t he?
HONOUR (PAUSE) It’s not like that at all.
CLEO (STARTS LAUGHING) Oh my days! Hell hath no fury like awoman left on read. I’m so right!
HONOUR (ANNOYED NOW) This is purely business.
CLEO Your warehouse full of tat? What even is that painting anyway – bit rubbish.
HONOUR That? That is an original Artemisia Gentileschi. Do you even know who that is?!
CLEO No. I still have a Britney poster in my room.
HONOUR She was the first woman to become accepted into the Accademia delle Arti del Disegno!
CLEO Yeah, but did she write Me Against the Music?
HONOUR That is... (HUUUUGE SIGH) You are so annoying. Why couldn’t you just make this simple? Why couldn’t you just tell me where to get the TARDIS?
CLEO All this stuff you’ve hoarded and you’re still unhappy. Just another trust fund nepo baby who’s empty inside.
HONOUR (CHUCKLES) Shows what you know.
CLEO Am I wrong, though?
HONOUR You don’t know the first thing about me. I worked hard for this!Because I learned very early on that this world is cruel, and terrible, and there’s only one thing that people care about.
CLEO Oh? What’s that?
HONOUR Stuff. Things, objects. I understood how much power they carry. I was a strange child. When I was 6, I would spend my time in the corner of the playground, collecting tiny, little pebbles, so tiny. But they could light up in the dark. I got called weird, every single day, but I loved them.
CLEO OK, so what?
HONOUR Well, I was able to curate quite the collection of pebbles.Suddenly people went “you know what? That’s actually cool”, children were jealous, and that: that is power. Me?Materialistic? Very well, but from nothing, I made myself very powerful.
CLEO That’s...I guess I was wrong.
HONOUR In Apex, I finally thought I had met someone who shared my vision. Turns out, he was like all the rest; beneath me. A common thief; a spoiled, selfish little boy, terrified of his own feelings. And when he realises you don’t have anything he wants, he’ll leave you too.SCENE 5.9 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC – DAY
RANI OK, she made it through the forcefield in one piece.
ABBY Was there a chance she might not?
RANI Uh
FX large energy noise
RANI Uh oh.
ABBY Rani? What is that?
RANI The bubble’s shrinking. That’s not good.
ABBY What? What’ll happen to Shawna?!
RANI It should be fine, we should have a few hours before it collapses completely.
ABBY What happens then?
RANI There’s every chance the field will just dissipate without any harm to Shawna….
ABBY Or…?
RANI Ok, don’t panic. [BEAT] But it could…it could crush her.Awkward silence.
ABBY Shawna! You’ve got to get her out of there!
RANI It’s okay, I have a plan. Not my first forcefield, remember. I need to get inside it.
ABBY Wait what??
RANI It’s the only way; that’s where the controls are.
ABBY What controls?
RANI Can I trust you to stay here? Whatever happens?
ABBY Yes, yes! Good luck.
RANI Thank you. Back in two secs. [BEAT] I hope. [EFFORT NOISE – in case needed]
ABBY Wait! What happens if you’re -
FX slightly ominous energy noises
ABBY Not?SCENE 5.10 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
CLEO You’re wrong about Apex.
HONOUR Tell me, if he cares about you so much then where is he right now? Where. Is. He?
CLEO [BEAT] I don’t know! [BEAT] But I know he cares about me.
HONOUR Let me tell you something about Apex Costa, because I do know him. You’re nothing. You are literally nothing to him. Just a means to an end.
CLEO Okay…
HONOUR All you have is a connection to the Doctor. As soon as he gets that out of you, he’ll be gone in a heartbeat.
CLEO But he knows I can’t help him. He knows already! And he came back for me.
HONOUR This is what he does, Cleo, and he’s very good at it. He makes women fall in love with him. That’s his power. And he doesn’t use it for good.
CLEO [EUREKA MOMENT] You’re still in love with him aren’t you? Is that why you’re doing all this, the refugees, the drones, the London Underground?
HONOUR OK, bored now. This is about a promise he made. A TARDIS.My TARDIS.FX drone powering up again
CLEO I don’t know how else to say this: I don’t know how to find the Doctor.
HONOUR You must know! Otherwise what’s his angle? Why is Apex so interested in you?!
CLEO We just...like each other?
HONOUR They always want something, even if it’s just to feel wanted.
CLEO Maybe he just likes me more than you.
HONOUR Let’s find out shall we? Let’s find out what kind of man ApexCosta is. Will he come to your rescue?
FX button pressing, door shutters opening
CLEO What are you doing?
FX loud mechanical noises of drones attaching to each other
DRONES Drone 2 of 256 connected. Drone 3 of 256 connected. Drone4 of 256 connected…
HONOUR You wanted an air fryer. I wanted a Cobot…SCENE 5.11 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC
FX energy field noises
RANI (GASPS AS EMERGES) Shawna. You okay?
SHAWNA Rani! What’s going on? Why can’t I see Abby?
RANI I know this is a bit overwhelming right now, but I have to let you know that this bubble is shrinking.
SHAWNA Shrinking?!
RANI Yes, but it should be fine – we have plenty of time. At least acouple of hours before it collapses. We can fix this.
SHAWNA And we’re stuck together against a wall? Great. Where’s Abs?
RANI Other side of the field, she’s fine. [BEAT] Mr Smith, I need you.
Nothing happens.
SHAWNA Who?
RANI [IGNORES HER] Why isn’t that working? That should be working.
SHAWNA Who’s Mr Smith?RANI Mr Smith is a computer.
SHAWNA Sure. Why not?
FX – Rani pops a metal hatch off the wall to access a panel.
RANI It has been a long, long time since I’ve done this. [BEAT] Let’s see.
FX – pushing buttons, a few sad error noises.
SHAWNA You have a computer hidden in your wall.
RANI OK. Looks like someone tried to break into Mr Smith. He’s been shut down a while – whoever did this couldn’t get past the defence protocols, and for some reason they didn’t deactivate. Hmm. This isn’t good.
SHAWNA What isn’t good?
RANI [SMALL LAUGH] We used to ask Sarah Jane questions all the time.
SHAWNA Who’s Sarah Jane?
RANI Someone who, when the world was ending, would say “You’re just going to have to trust me.” And it all worked out fine. Now, you’d better get started.
SHAWNA Me?RANI Shawna Thompson, this is a computer. You’re a computer programmer.
SHAWNA Wait. You know that? You’re not just a nice haircut are ya?
RANI You think my haircut’s nice? Thank you.
SHAWNA Can I really help, or is this to distract me from being crushed by a forcefield? Because neither of us have been doing this anywhere near as long as you have and frankly...I’m scared.
RANI You really can help. (BEAT) Mr Smith has a defence protocol which is supposed to contain whoever’s trying to attack him, except there’s no one here, and it’s not meant to shrink.
SHAWNA Whoever it was, could they have teleported out?
RANI Yes. Very good.
SHAWNA We’ve been on this case a while. Right. What OS does ‘Mr Smith’ run on?
RANI He doesn’t quite run on a normal Operating System.
SHAWNA Are we talking Linux? Ubuntu? TempleOS?
RANI It’s a Xylok.
SHAWNA Wait – is that an alien OS? Wow. Okay. Well…do alien computers have a database, does it respond to inputs, outputs, anything like that?
RANI Yes, backup data pad right here.
SHAWNA Okay, I can work with that. Every system has a hard reboot, I’m sure Mr Smith does too.FX failure sound, energy noises
SHAWNA What was that?
RANI The forcefield, it’s shrinking faster.
FX key pad presses.
SHAWNA How much time do we have?
RANI No idea. (CRIES OUT) Ow. It’s burning.
SHAWNA (PAIN) Yep.
RANI Same energy spread over a smaller area. Keep away from it.Any luck?
SHAWNA (GRUNTS) I’m not sure I can get in in time. Is there some other way?
RANI No.
SHAWNA Sure?
RANI Well. There’s something else we could try.
SHAWNA What?
RANI Complete overload. We – I’d overload the device’s power core. [BEAT] But it’d be forever.
SHAWNA What aren’t you telling me?
RANI Mr Smith is more than a computer. He’s a friend. My oldest friend. A Xylok is a living thing. And I’d have to kill him.SCENE 5.12 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE
FX – The Cobot continues to click together- the count goes up quietly in the background.
DRONES Drone 254 of 256 connected. Drone 255 of 256 connected. Drone 256 of 256 connected…COBOT assembling. Wave integrity holding.
CLEO What’s a Cobot?
HONOUR My drones have assembled to create a giant robotic killing machine. Obviously.
FX: Two giant robotic footsteps.
COBOT Cobot assembly complete.
HONOUR: Your little boyfriend stole the tech from Torchwood for me.Please Cleo, just tell me how to find the Doctor, or my 20-foot friend here will clear out the entire London Underground.
CLEO This is insane! They’ve done nothing to do you! It’s theirhome.
HONOUR I have new tenants lined up. And they’ll pay twice the rent.Earth is an up-and-coming area.
CLEO Leave them alone.HONOUR You know what you have to do.
COBOT Cobot armed and ready.
CLEO Honour, I can’t get to the Doctor. If I could, I would.
HONOUR Then we’re done here.
FX she stands. Starts to walk out.
CLEO What? So what was the point of bringing me here, other than to show me your air fryer.
HONOUR Target practice. (SMILES) Move and my Cobot will execute you. Then, once you’re atoms, it will carry out its instructions and clear the London Underground.
CLEO That’s cold and I have a date to get to.
HONOUR (SMILES) You really think he’ll show up? Do you want to know where Apex is right now? He’s getting me my TARDIS.
CLEO No. You are so wrong about him.
HONOUR Am I? Nice talking, Cleo.
FX And she walks out and the door slams. The Cobot hums sinisterly.SCENE 5.13 – INT. BANNERMAN ATTIC – NIGHT
FX Energy crackles sinisterly.
SHAWNA What? You can’t kill him if he’s a friend.
RANI I have to. Mr Smith controls all the security measures. I don’t want to do this, but we are running out of time. The field’s getting smaller and smaller…
SHAWNA How long would the overload take?
RANI 60 seconds, maybe?
SHAWNA OK. Give me two minutes.
FX hacker speed typing!
RANI What are you hoping to find?
SHAWNA Every system has a hard reboot, a CTRL+ALT+DELETE, I just need to find out how to do it.
RANI How do you understand any of this?
SHAWNA You said he was alive? I think he’s designed himself for human users. I…kinda get it.
RANI That makes sense he’s a good egg. Mostly, a very good egg. SHAWNA I can do this.
FX energy field is getting louder and closer
RANI Shawna…Shawna! (PAIN) The forcefield. Don’t let it touch you – I think it’s lethal now!
SHAWNA Okay. Okay. I can find the reboot on the system…
RANI (PANICKING) It’s getting faster!
FX energy field increasing still, very loud
SHAWNA It’s here! It’s here! There was a reboot, years ago. I canreactivate it!
RANI (PAIN) Shawna, there’s no time.
SHAWNA Wait...
RANI Shawna!
FX And the energy field roars!SCENE 5.14 – INT. HONOUR’S WAREHOUSE
FX The cobot beeps at Cleo.
CLEO Just so you know I’ve got a date in 20 minutes.
FX The cobot bleeps faster.
COBOT Do not move.
CLEO Chill. I’m just gonna sit here, minding my own business, and drink my peppermint tea.
FX Cleo sips tea.
CLEO (SIPS) I’m up against a bit of a deadline here. You’re held together with magnets, yeah?
COBOT A wave integrity field.
CLEO Nice.
FX Cleo takes magic flute from her pocket
CLEO Hey do you know what this is? Apex gave it to me. It’s a magic flute.
COBOT Correction. It is a wave disruptor.CLEO Whatever. It’s got a lot of buttons and sort of works on rats.As I said. I’m on a deadline, so I’m just going to –
FX Cleo activates magic flute – frantic pulse. Cobot takes the hit
DRONES WILDTRACK Field integrity collapsing. Drone 256 of 256 disconnected…Drone 2 of 256 Disconnected. Drone 134 of 256 disconnected.Cobot disassembling!
FX With a burble of Drones, the Cobot lands in a heap on the floor.
CLEO Push all the buttons at once. [BEAT] It’s almost 6 o’clock. I gotta find Apex.
FX Cleo yanks the door opens and runs for it.SCENE 5.15 – INT. BANNERMAN ROAD.
FX The forcefield reaches fever pitch.
RANI Shawna! Quick!
SHAWNA And…reset!
FX The forcefield dissipates.
SHAWNA Oh wow. It worked. That actually worked!
RANI You did it!
FX: Abby races over.
ABBY Shawna!
SHAWNA Abby!
FX: They hug.
ABBY Don’t you EVER put your hand in another force field again. I swear to God.
RANI I’m so sorry. This honestly wasn’t meant to be so dramatic.You said someone was stealing alien artefacts? The reason I was in New York was because of my friend Luke - there’s been a raid there. The world is being cleaned out of alien technology. And now they’ve come for Mr Smith. This is personal.
ABBY We know who the thief is. But we don’t know what he wants.
RANI Shall we get on that? I think Mr Smith’s rebooted.
SHAWNA Should be safe.
RANI OK. Here goes. Stand back. [BEAT] Mr Smith, I need you.
FX Mr Smith fanfare plays, as he unpacks from the fireplace
ABBY
There’s a computer-
SHAWNA In the wall, yeah.
MR SMITH Hello, Rani. How are you?
RANI I’ve never been so glad to hear your voice.
ABBY Whooaaa.
RANI Mr Smith, this is –
MR SMITH Abigail MacPhail and Shawna Thompson. Hosts of the Blue Box Files. Sarah, Sarah Jane programmed me to track any discourse pertaining to the TARDIS or the Doctor.
SHAWNA What? The Doctor! Cleo was right -ABBY This is…incredible.
SHAWNA Yeah I can’t believe you were going to destroy this.
MR SMITH Excuse me?
RANI Nothing! [BEAT] What happened here, Mr Smith?
MR SMITH An intruder tried to access my database. They were looking for the whereabouts of the Doctor.
FX Blip! Footage plays – Mr Smith being wrenched apart
APEX (ANNOYED) Come on! I’ve got to find the Doctor. I have to!Just give me his location, you piece of –
FX Blip
SHAWNA Apex. We were right about him.
ABBY Poor Cleo.
RANI Did he find anything?
MR SMITH They did not find out where the Doctor is because I do not know where the Doctor is.
RANI You don’t know?
MR SMITH The Doctor is missing. Something is amiss with their timeline.
RANI That’s not good.
ABBY What does this mean?RANI The Doctor can’t be missing, at least, not to Mr Smith.Something’s gone really wrong. (BEAT) Mr Smith, prepare tosend out a distress call on all available channels.
MR SMITH Broadcasting on all intergalactic frequencies.
RANI Attention to anyone out there who can help: The Doctor is missing, I repeat, the Doctor is missing.SCENE 5.16 – INT. CLEO’S FLAT – NIGHT
FX Cleo entering flat front door.
CLEO (out of breath) Okay, only seven minutes late. He better have waited.
FX puts jacket down
CLEO Apex? You here? I’m here, I’m so sorry I’m late! You’ll never guess where I’ve been…Apex?
FX opens bedroom door.
CLEO Apex?
FX A small box projects a hologram of Apex.
CLEO What?
APEX (RECORDED) Hi Cleo, just leaving you a quick hologram. I had a really great time last night. You know that, right? But I can’t fix this. I’ve got no-one left to turn to for help. I got in way over my head this time…so I…I’m sorry. This is really terrible timing because yesterday…last night…it was one of…it was amazing. [PAUSE] The Doctor’s not coming. I can’t save London Underground and I don’t wanna put you in danger. It’s better for everyone if I just go. Maybe…maybe Honour will come after me, not you guys.
CLEO You can’t…APEX [RECORDING] Maybe when this blows over we can reconnect. Until then, I..um…see ya Cleo.
FX hologram powers down
CLEO No way…he can’t do this to me.
FX she picks up the box, throws it against the wall
CLEO I’m such an idiot. You idiot! [BEAT] I can’t believe I…[BEAT] Nope. Not this time.
FX: She opens her phone. Records a voice note.
CLEO [RECORDING] This is Cleo Proctor from the Blue Box Files, recording what might be my final entry. Abs, Shawna (BEAT) I’m going to London Underground. Honour is going to clear out the refugees and they have no idea what’s coming.Someone’s got to help them.There’s no Apex, there’s no Doctor, and I don’t know where you guys are. I’m the only one left. I’m on my own. I did it before and I can do it again. [BEAT] Oh, and Apex, if you ever hear this, get some therapy, you absolute manchild.SCENE 5.17 – INT. THE LONDON UNDERGROUND – NIGHT
FX Same effect from Episode 3 – the light tunnel into London Underground. She hops off with a yelp.
CLEO OK, that wasn’t so bad. (echoey) Hello?! Is anyone down there?
FX She runs down the echoey tunnels.
CLEO [QUIET] Where the hell is everyone? Last time it was jumpin’ jumpin’ down here. Hello?
FX Distance footfall. Heavy.
CLEO Hello? Listen – if you’re hiding, we need to run. Honour is coming. And she’s bringing…
FX The footfalls get heavier and heavier. A march.
CLEO She’s bringing a really, really big robot called..
COBOT Cobot detecting life form.
CLEO You again?
COBOT Cobot armed and ready.
FX Cleo pulls out magic flute as the Cobot advances.
CLEO (BRAVE) I’m armed. Remember what happened last time? I’m Cleo Proctor and I’m going to stop you.
FX The footsteps get really, really heavy. Stops.
COBOT
Wave disruptor bypassed. You have no other weapons.
CLEO No.
FX The Cobot regards her. Sinister operational hum.
COBOT
Step aside or you will be eliminated.
CLEO Just leave them alone.
COBOT Step aside human female.
CLEO No, I’m not letting you into that camp.
COBOT Step aside. Final warning.
CLEO They aren’t hurting anyone. (BEAT) Honour? Honour, can you hear me? Just leave them alone!
COBOT Obstructions will be destroyed.
FX The cobot grabs Cleo, who screams.
CLEO No! Let go!
COBOT Fatal force permitted.
Cleo screams in pain.
The music builds into a gleefully Whovian, alien symphony of synths and electric keyboard that cuts off into piano that continues under the rest of the credits.
END CREDITS Doctor Who: Redacted. Episode Five. Reboot by Ken Cheng. Starring Charlie Craggs as Cleo Proctor, Lois Chimimba Abby Mcphail, Holly Quin-Ankrah Shawna Thompson, Freddy Carter Apex Costa, Dervla Kirwan Honour Bray, Anji Mohindra Rani Chandra, Alexander Armstrong Mr Smith and Wilf Scolding as drone. Directed by Bethany Weimers, Producer James Goss, Sound design by Thea Cochrane, Original Composition by David Devereux. A BBC Studios Production for BBC Sounds.
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Doctor Who: Redacted
The return of the audio drama series, set in the worlds of Doctor Who.
