Episode 5

Comedy. Award-winning radio phone-in host Gary Bellamy tries to pin down exactly what it means to be British.

Gary asks what we can do about the rising levels of crime in modern society. Small builder, the fiercely non-Muslim Martin Hole, reckons we need to adopt his version of sharia law, whereas self-appointed Muslim community leader Mr Khan reckons we need his version.

Controversial radio phone-in host, Steve Goodall, blames the liberals for metaphorically breaking into our homes and taking a metaphorical dump on the carpet. Victim of crime, Baal, on the other hand, blames the criminals. Self-styled druid, Jason Laughing-Waters, has completely rejected out western consumer-based life style and embraced a philosophy of spirituality and heavy drug use.