How has the pandemic affected your sex life?
BBC Radio 5 Live teamed up with BBC Scotland to find out how people’s relationships and sex lives have been affected by the pandemic.
Presenters Naga Munchetty and Amy Irons hosted members of the public for a live debate in Glasgow to discuss everything from online dates to low libidos.
‘People just wanted to have sex’
Jane has been single since the beginning of the pandemic and says the past two years have helped her realise exactly what she’s looking for in a potential partner.
“When I was doing online dating during the pandemic, I felt like people wanted to just have sex,” she said.
“I wanted to build up this communication with them... when it got to the point we were arranging a date they’d say ‘do you want to come to my house and have some fun?’
“I’m in my late 30s and I’m looking for a relationship... during the pandemic it made me realise what I wanted – I realised I want a relationship.”
‘My libido plummeted’
Ben was dating throughout the pandemic and started a relationship with his boyfriend after
lockdown restrictions had ended.
He says his libido was “ok” through the lockdowns, but has “plummeted this year, which is quite
inconvenient”.
Dr Punam Krishan says if issues with libido are impacting a person’s life, then they should make an appointment with a GP.
“The chronic stress that’s bumbling away on a low level in all of us has a huge role to play,” she said.
“People are tired, they’re fed up and they don’t know if they’re coming or going then are expected
to go out into this new state of normal and just ‘be’.
“Whether it’s mental health that‘s the underlying cause of a low libido, or a medical condition or the
sign of something that causes tiredness... it’s something that people shouldn’t shy away from and
should get help for because it can hugely impact a relationship.”
'Treat her like a queen'
Bobby says his marriage has improved as a result of the pandemic allowing him and his wife to spend more time together (and him finding time to do the washing up more regularly!)
“I’d run before I went to work and go get the train, but now I saw what [housework] my wife did when I wasn’t there and it was like ‘wow’,” he said. “I was like, ‘I can help you with this’.”
“Making sure coffee was on, dishes were done and I’ve been fortunate – the more proactive I’ve been, the more ‘fortunate endings’ I’ve had.
“As the saying goes, you treat her like a queen and she’ll treat you like a king.”
'Would I like to be having more sex? Of course!'
Stacey says the pandemic has left her with some “anxiety” around mixing with different people and she personally found it harder to date during lockdowns.
“You can’t [date] the normal ways you could have before,” she said. “Nightclubs and pubs haven’t been open.”
“You can say, and do, and be whoever you want online behind a screen - what do you actually learn about a person?” She said.
“You have to meet them eventually, you have to have a physical connection eventually, so it does make things significantly more difficult.
“Would I like to be having more sex? Of course! That’s how I am – sorry mum!”
‘A lot of Zoom dating’
Rachel met her partner on an app in March 2020, she says it was “challenging” beginning a relationship in lockdown.
“It was a lot of zoom dating to keep the momentum going until we could meet,” she said. “Also [going for socially distanced walks] felt old-fashioned, like I was being courted back in the 50s or 60s, which I liked.”
“It was difficult, but it was all the communicating and learning about each other that kept it going.”
“I think we’d built such a good bond over that time because there was no sexual side, which was nothing I’d ever experienced before – that was always a big denominator in meeting someone.”
“Getting that emotional connection then made the physical side more special when it came to that in the end.”
