Genetically Muddle' I' Field
By David Garrett from Kettering

Farmer Smith, he had a brainwave,
Instead of breeding hens for eggs
He thought he'd make more money
If he could breed 'em with four legs,
For years he played with nature
And chromosomes and that
Until at last he triumphed
When he crossed one with a cat,
Now this seemed very strange indeed
To hear a cockeral purr,
Feathered all along the back
And their head and tail was fur,
He was getting quite excited
As the time was getting near
To see what his catchicks tasted like
And to shut up those who'd jeer,
But! As he went into the hen-house
With the chopper in the air
They all shot off between his legs
And did old Smithy swear?
He chased them down the country lanes
And up and down the land,
All the time a' shouting, with his chopper in his hand
At last he stopped, gave up the chase,
He said 'Oh blast and dash 'em
What's the point of breeding four legged birds?
If you can't flipping catch 'em...

In Weekender