Sent in by Ms G Parenti...

* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

* I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

* I had been driving for forty years, when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble and my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

* An invisible car come out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

* An indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

* I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray dogs.

* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.