1) My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is. 2) I joined a health club last year, spent about £400. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 3) The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 4) I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures what I'm doing. 5) I don't exercise at all. If God meant for us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 6) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 7) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 8) The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 9) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. 10) I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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