When a double glazing salesperson turns up on your doorstep and tells you how much warmer your house will be, how much more satisfied you’ll feel about your lot in life, even on a grey fug of a February day, if only you’d order new PVC windows from them - it’s patter.
When The Apprentice sends a bicker of the ‘finest business brains in the UK’ (disguised, for some reason, as petty dunderheads) to harass the public into buying claptrap, the convoluted, persuasive lies they use – cycling proficiency Jedi mind tricks - it's patter.
You could be forgiven for thinking that everything in this modern day world of ours, that isn’t a banker’s bonus or storm damage, is patter.
THIS ISN’T PATTER.
This week’s show is very, very spiky with brilliant new music of Welsh origin.
So many thrilling new artists who hadn’t been baptised on my radio show before: The Featherz, Sea Lion, Luvv, Mandy, Past Grievances, Bur Hoff Bau, Saron, Pine Canopies, The Caspiens, Ruby Parfitt, Sam, Not My Finest Hour and Bethany.
Throw music, minus patter, at me via the BBC Introducing Uploader or to themysterytour@gmail.com
Elsewhere, godfather of the Welsh underground (as in musical movement, not mass transit system) Alan Holmes revisits the fulsome wonders of the Rub-a-Dub Jug Band.
Ben Hayes, a.k.a. Soundhog, shines a light on some un-hey-nonny-nonny Fairport Convention.
And I rush back and forth from the loo.
The moral of this story is - check your best before dates. Even mushroom burgers have the scope and potential to ruin the most cast-iron guts.
Not patter.
Many thanks / diolch o gallon.
THE FEATHERZ - 'R N R'
South Wales
http://facebook.com/pages/The-Featherz/500083293408127
KORSAKOFFS - 'Barbarian Barbara'
Bridgend
http://facebook.com/Korsakoffs
X Y & O - 'Low Tide'
Cardiff
http://soundcloud.com/xyando
CATE LE BON - 'Wild'
Penboyr
http://catelebon.com
SEA LION - 'Sanna's Song'
Gothenburg / Welsh Management
http://soundcloud.com/sealionlinn
ALAN HOLMES - 'Spoken Contribution'
Bangor
http://centralslate.omnia.co.uk
RUB-A-DUB JUG BAND - 'Coney Island Washboard'
Menai Bridge, Anglesey
SEAZOO - 'Carp And Man'
Wrexham
http://facebook.com/pages/Seazoo/423939854360418
MOWBIRD - 'Fruit With Husk'
Wrexham
http://mowbird.bandcamp.com
BODHI - 'I Need You'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/wearebodhi
TAFFIA - 'Curry In A Hurry'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/taffia.wales
MR HUW - 'Ein Budreddi'
Caernarfon
http://mrhuw.com
OCTO - 'Octo Snippets'
Cardiff
http://shermancymru.co.uk/performance/music/octa-music-sherman
CATFISH AND THE BOTTLEMEN - 'Pacifier'
Llandudno
http://catfshandthebottlemen.com
PERSONAL BEST - 'The Tide'
Cardiff / Bristol / Portsmouth
http://personalbest.bandcamp.com
LUVV - 'More'
Cardiff
http://luvvluvvluvv.com
TENDER PREY - 'I'm Gonna Get You, Rhythm'
Cardiff
http://soundcloud.com/tenderpreymusic
GWENNO - 'Golau Arall'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/Gwennomusic
PULCO - 'Open Your Wallets'
Bangor
http://pulco.bandcamp.com
ALEX DINGLEY - 'Knuckle Bone'
Llansteffan
http://myspace.com/alexdingley
MANDY - 'I Like Talking'
Cardiff
http://andyfung.co.uk
PAST GRIEVANCES - 'Zyklon B (Radio Edit)'
Cwmbran
http://soundcloud.com/past-grievances
GOODTIME BOYS - 'Life Moves'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/goodtimeboys
BUR HOFF BAU - 'Angelika'
Gwynedd
http://burhoffbau.com
SARON - 'Pan Ddaw'r Dydd'
Gwynedd
http://klepdimtrep.com
PINE CANOPIES - 'Pon'
Cardiff
http://soundcloud.com/pinecanopies
THE CASPIENS - 'Last Call'
Ebbw Vale
http://facebook.com/TheCaspiens
CHARLOTTE CHURCH - 'Entanglement'
Cardiff
http://charlottechurchmusic.com
KEYS - 'Bad Girls'
Cardiff
http://keysofficial.com
RADIO RHYDD - 'Cariad'
Bethesda
http://facebook.com/RadioRhydd
JOE BLOW - 'Bass N Bars (Terry Hooligan & Zombie
Robot Remix) Edit'
Barry
http://squidninjarecords.com
RUBY PARFITT - 'Runaway'
Cwmbran
http://facebook.com/rubyparfittx
LAURA J. MARTIN - 'Fire Horse'
Liverpool
http://facebook.com/lalajmartin
SAM - 'The Second Tick'
Wrexham
DEMETER GRIEVING - 'Codeine Culture'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/lloydbestmusic
HUBKAP - 'Icons'
Newport
YR EIRA - 'Ymollwng'
Bangor
http://soundcloud.com/yreira
GRAMCON - 'Brwydrwch'
Cardiff
http://gramcon.co.uk
NOT MY FINEST HOUR - 'Just My Luck'
Cardiff
http://facebook.com/NOTMYFINESTHOURBAND
BETHANY - 'Empty Suitcase'
Barmouth
http://bethanysmusic.com
CHARLIE FRANCIS - 'An Encounter'
Cardiff
http://charliefrancis.bandcamp.com
BEN HAYES - 'Spoken Contribution'
Ruthin
http://soundcloud.com/soundhog
FAIRPORT CONVENTION - 'If I Had A Ribbon Bow'
London
COLORAMA - 'Heaven's Hotel'
Benllech
http://colorama.org.uk
QUIET NOISE - 'Across The Sea (Featuring Manas Kumar)'
Pembrokeshire
http://soundcloud.com/adam-wilkinson
