Kick Out The Jim Jams

I had a dream last night that I was in Forestside Shopping Centre, Belfast shortly before closing time. I had been in such a rush to get there that I hadn't changed into something practical. I was wearing striped pyjamas in a fetching shade of blue. But, I reasoned, no one would notice.

And of course everyone noticed. The shopping experience turned into a meta-surreal version of This Is Your Life as a bewildering number of acquaintances came over to meet me in conversation. A few kind souls pretended that nothing was amiss. But most of them wanted to know what I was doing in a shopping centre late at night, wearing inappropriate gear. One of them even commented that I had rolled up the cuff of one leg. Was I paying tribute to Eighties icon Don Johnson, who folded up the sleeves of his linen jackets? I believe this conversation went on for 20 minutes.

You may suppose that I'm supremely mad and you may be correct. I'm doing the usual thing and wondering that if dreams are great metaphors about your spiritual condition, what does this say about mine? I think it's a variation of the old naked-in-public scenario. I'm alarmed at being found out. And yes, my life is currently a series of bluffs, bold statements, mad rushes and half-baked realisations. I am the Great Pretender in PJs and frankly, I'm not resting easy.