We are live in 5, 4, 3, 2…
Well, it’s the Brit awards tomorrow (Wednesday) which, of course, Russell is presenting and it’s totally live. I dunno how he does it. Live TV freaks me out, I remember when I had to play ‘General Zod’s nephew Andrew Zod’ on the E4 show ‘Russell Brand’s Got Issues’. A pretty pointless character he was, well in fact he did have a point- a great big arrow which he carried about and pointed at a chart depending on how he thought the debate was going. A premise that was, at best, flimsy.
So there I was dressed up as the baddie from Superman’s nephew with my stupid arrow, the first show was about ‘Beauty’ so I had to suffer the indignity of wearing full, ladies’ make-up as I was apparently ‘the most beautiful man in the universe’. This slap was then deemed by Russell to be an integral part of the Zod character and so each week I had to have lipstick and eye-shadow applied to my sulking face. So, there I stood waiting to hear the dreaded ‘we are live in 5, 4, 3, 2…’ and I’d feel like I was gonna be blasted out of a cannon, straight into people’s homes. All I could think was ‘This is LIVE! If I move my hand now, thousands of people will see my hand move in their houses’ then ‘Stop thinking about it, don’t worry, just be Zod’. It was hell; Russell is insane to enjoy that.
Anyway, I tried everything to get out of this charade every week, but the more I complained in my Zod costume and lipstick, the more hilarious everyone thought Zod was. Russell loves it when I have to do things I don’t want to do. I was the writer on that show, a back-room position, but when Russell decided he’d feel more relaxed with me stood behind him dressed not as Superman’s enemy but Superman’s Enemy’s nephew (!) in full glamour mode I suddenly had to take one for the team and step out into the white noise terror of live TV. I did relax into it eventually, but by that time the character had finally been dropped and I was then required to dress as Marc Bolan’s ghost. God, my acting CV would be a baffling document.
So my point is this: live TV is scary. I dunno how Russell controls his inner voice, mine would rise up and ‘Tourette’s’ itself all over people’s living rooms and I’d be hounded out of Britain. It does make me respect the man Brand for a fleeting moment until… and I’ve just remembered this...
Once on the next show we did, I had the choice of dressing up as Darth Vader or a stupid dog. I have always wanted to dress up as Darth Vader. Not Darth Vader’s niece ‘Leanne Vader’ but Lord Darth Vader himself. They had the costume there and everything but no, I was a bloody dog, with rubbish whiskers drawn on my face with eyeliner. Russell laughed and laughed and laughed. I should have gone to the RSPCA.
So I’ll be backstage at the Brits, I hope. If you see a reluctant man dressed up as a wizard in a bra or something for the purposes of an ill-thought out joke, do spare a thought for me. Break a leg Russ.
I do love your ramblings, I think they get better and better every blog you write. *Fingers crossed for you not having to embarrass yourself* Good Luck to All! -x-
That was YOU? How could I have missed that? *scratches head* In my defence I guess you were quite out of context.
I would really like to see you dressed as a wizard in a bra now that you've mentioned it. Perhaps you could co-present in such a fasion?! Face your fear Matt, step out of your comfort zone. You can DO this! ;-D
Well, Matt, isn't the radio show live (most of the time), does that make you nervous as well?!? The only difference is that instead of people seeing you hand move, they will hear things: your constant swallowing for example!
Hope Russell remembers to mention the murky fish based estate that's known as Fishermead as promised at his gig in Milton Keynes on Sunday.
Tis' a murky, murky place tis that Fishermead!
Ha Ha! Your blogs are hilarious. I always thought you were dressed up as general Zod himself, didn't realise you were his nephew. Am sure if Andrew was ever asked who he'd want to play the part of him in a film, (or a short-lived tv show) he would say, Matt Morgan.
A wizard in a bra haha! My favourite character of yours is Benedict, the work experience lad from The Russell Brand Show!
Love your blogs, Matt- keep up the good work!
And good luck to Russell with the Brits tomorrow night!
Ben x
lucky maffoo being all backstage at the brits - fancy being on valentines night -live - it puts a bit of a dampner on your love life, you couple of hardworking gets. Enjoy !
I'm certain you were brilliant as all of those characters. And I'm sure you would've been a terrifying Darth! And I reckon Russell's out to embarrass you. I hadn't noticed your swallowing till he pointed it out. Oh dear. What an odd relationship you two lovely people have.
Matt, you should take pleasure in dressing up in exotic costumes and following Russell's orders. I would. xxx
I especially enjoyed you dressed as a mermaid...although my favourite costume of all was when you were Jesus....you pulled that off very well indeed :-p
Eyeliner Junkie
xxx
haha hope you(s) have a good joke lined up, like the bob geldof one, for when noel (inevitabley) jibes rusty...
good luck to both
*chants*
Wizard bra!
Wizard bra!
Wizard bra!
Talking of 'Got Issues', I got issues with Russell still not contributing to this blog, especially since his recent football column in the Guardian was apparently written out by hand whilst in LA! That's just favouritism! Or, wait...is it cash?? Heh! Considering that your li'l stories always put a smile on my face, I'm not going to get my knickers in a twist over it.
I would imagine that being live on radio is more nerve-wracking than being live on telly, because during the former people are only judging you by how you sound and what you say. On telly, there is the added dimension of seeing what sort of crazy get-up Russell has got you sporting!
Anyhow, all the very best of luck to both of you for the Brits,
love, Lisa x
(p.s. In the TV trailer for the Brits where Russ talks about it being live 'n' dangerous, are you one of the circus-freak-type-people in one of those cages??)
great show russell!
Surely you should of been more embarrassed about playing the kid in the intro of Russell Brand's Got Issues. The whole premise of being on the wrong end of abuse (if there ever was a good end to be at!) having baked beans fed to you via a strap on!
Way to test your sexuality Matthew!
Matt, I bloomin love you darlin. you as a mermaid was erotic. ps. ive been blocked from wikipedia entirely
Well done for doing a grand job, i have your details of your show on https://mazivemusic.squarespace.com my music journal and all the Brits Award winners and the nominees.
What a triumph the Brits was - the curse of Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood has finally been lifted and it can now be shown on live TV once again!
The only thing that worried me slightly was Joss Stone's complete lack of coherence - strange behaviour really. But let's give her the benefit of the doubt - perhaps she was just nervous and overcompensating or something.
Anyhoo, well done Russell for being an excellent host!
Writing his Guardian column by hand?? Don't they have computers in LA??
Well done anyway Russ for the Brits thing and your fantastic performance in The Abbey. Now you are no longer an enfant terrible but are a national treasure like the Queen.
Don't blow it babe - you can have everything you've ever wanted now.
Love
Linda X
God bless you Matt Morgan! I agree Benedict was my fave, and I never even realised it was you on 'Issues' and I'm usually very observant!
Anyway, I had the lovely pleasure of being at the Brits too and was sat in the block next to the stage!
I can confirm I never saw you in any embarassing costume and I believe your dignity remained intact!
Well done...i'm sure Russell's brilliant delivery had some input from you good self!
Victoria xx
Hi guys. Is it me or is everyone just a bit washed out at this time of year? Yeah.....thaught so.............its me isnt it! If you only knew. Just imagine what it s like to be a woman. No dont. Ill av a bit of that tostesterone if its going. Leave it out with the dolphs!dogs an animal/mammal kingdom. Ye little flibberdy jibberts! Ah I got on ere an found myself tied in to some vidio of Russky, as much as I luv im, I cudnt get is lovely face orf the screen! The dear bloke next to me tried. Anyway got there in the end. Then thought how to make good use of my time. So started an on line I Q test. JOKE! Ha! Well, at the bottom of each set of questions it gave an option of "dint know". Sod it. I wanted to select that box all the time. Had a bit of a go tryin to fold imaginary bits of paper to the appropriate shape. I was gud at that. Flumoxed at the oters. If it was Tues day the day before yestarday whatt day would it be in ten thousand A.D. BLA BLA .I got outa there before doing the proverbial slitting of throat! So here I am again! You LUCKY fellas! Hope u ad a gud week. Lookin forward to tomozza night. but timez upp........luv ooo