View From the Top
We are number One in the podcast charts. Well, we hovered around the number Three spot for a while and briefly flirted with the number Two area (oh come on!) but now we are at the pinnacle, the summit of the podcast chart and we have stuck our flag in it and sat back to admire the view.
When you’re a kid you hope to one day be at the top of a chart. I was always a bit of an underachiever, so were Trevor and Russell. Mainly due to laziness more than any lack of ability of course. Never had the top Natwest Piggy, never got a medal on Sports Day, never got awarded anything in assembly, never got picked for the team, always pretty much came second or nowhere. Actually I did win a two-man Scout Hike once, but only because my partner wet himself in our tent so we got up much earlier than anyone else and set out. He denied it was urine and made a pathetic check of all the bottles in the First-Aid kit to see which one was leaking, but you know when you just know? We got round that Ordnance Survey map fuelled purely by his shame and my resentment.
Yeah, so thanks to everyone who’s downloaded the Russell Brand Show Podcast and thanks for all the congratulatory messages. We did say that if we ever reached number One we would do some mad publicity stunt involving an ice-cream van, so watch out for that. In fact if you remember the details of what we said we’d do, please remind us (we didn’t get to Numero Uno by being professional y’know, remember that kids)
Looking forward to tomorrow’s show, and aiding our beloved listeners with their ‘Cries for Help’ so keep ‘em coming, especially real ones please. Bye , Matt xxx
Hiya,
I would just like to congratulte you all on becoming number one in the podcast charts. You all really deserve it and I can't wait for tonights show.
Natalie Lerer
xxxxx
Well done guys, cant think of anyone more deserbing! Keep up the good radio lads! Keep up the blog Matt, your fan club is growing!!
I would be sitting here applauding your achievement right now Matt, Russell, Trev and everyone who worked on the podcasts. I say, "I would", but I'm in actuallity not. Not for any lack of appreciation of that which has gone on and occurred here. No. More a sense of avoiding deep embarassment seeing as I am sitting here, home alone with no-one but my cat and finch; and I think applauding and whooping it up to an empty room may be considered a sign of indefinate madness, and at the very least confuse my cat; if not bemuse any onlookers who pick that moment to peer in through my front window.
Despite all that, well done!
M.
Congrats on getting number 1 you deserve it! Keep up the good work and make tonight's show the best!
Oh, and well done with the blog Matt, you're really good at it!
Congratulations - more than deserved. Good job on the blogs Matt, i'm on board with the Matt Morgan fann club!!
Dear Russell, Matt and Trev
Congratulations on being number one and all that.
I have a cry for help, which I would like some advice on.
My freinds and I go swimming twice a week in our local pool. On our Wednesday visit there is a group of old men who perve at us. They sink to the bottom of the pool and skull along face up staring up at the surface of the pool and the people swimming above. We are impressed with their lung capacity as they swim from one end of a 30 meter pool to the other, under water, slowly; but we don't want them doing it when we're swimming above, it's creepy.
At first we thought this to be quite innocent, my friend reasoned that they may do it, as it is quite interesting to watch people swimming from below, such as one of the camera angles used in televised swimming races. Their goggles, however, magnify their eyes and we can see them staring at us. So we've come to the conclusion that they are just a bunch of perves. When they're not under water they hang around in the deep end and duck under the water as we swim towards them and we can see them perving. Sometimes we don't realise that they're there and start swimming only to find they're underneath us, and if we're in shallow waters that means we are very close to touching skin. This is particularly uncomfortable when we're face down and they are face up, both wearing very little.
We've tried staring at them when they do it so that they know we're on to them and we give them dirty looks and tut etc.. but they haven't stopped and it's putting us off going swimming at all.
Can't change swimming nights or pool as they are both the most convenient.
Would appreciate any advice you have, especially advice that doesn't involve encouraging them, which is what our bloke mates have suggested.
Much love
Lucy, Birmingham
Hey Lucy
Ick, tell the pool manager. If s/he doesnt look bothered mention you're worried about them also oggling young kids.
===
Well done on the podcast thingy guys. Although I still have a tape walkman myself :o)
Kat x
LOL...I never had the top natwest piggy bank either. I believe his name was Nathaniel...I had all the rest but he always remained out of reach *sigh* One day...
*Eyeliner_Junky*
x x x
Congrats again on number 1 (I posted woo hoo's on the Jean Cloud Van Dammned blog)
Can't wait for Ice Cream van malarky - please take photo's or record it!
Tonights show is exhaustingly funny already - 20 mins in. Thanks guys!
xx
Hi Guys,
I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to things being symmetrical. However, recently I have become increasing finicky about this and also find myself carrying out various other rituals before I can feel comfortable.
For example:-
- When I pour a pint of beer I have to circulate the glass three times clockwise.
- I always wear odd socks on purpose and strongly believe wearing matching sock will give me bad luck all day.
- I have a small man made out of pipe-cleaners who sits in my room. If he gets knocked over I go crazy and I am convinced something awful will happen.
- Also if I carry out an action such as a waving with one hand I then have to repeat it with the other or I feel awfully unbalanced and uncomfortable.
These are just some of the odd habits I have recently become a prisoner of.
HEEEELP MEEE!
*Eyeliner Junky*
x x x
Hey Matt, Well done on keeping the blog going, I think you need to force Russell to dictate one to you on the phone like you suggested tonight!
Congrats on the number 1 podcast slot. Well deserved, the podcast keeps me well amused as I can listen to the genius repeatedly!
Great show tonight as always.
Sara
x x x x
Fantastic show guys congratulations on being numero uno. Loved the yeast woman and Russell's advice and tell that poet guy he's a genius!!!
boodu
Hi Russ, Matt and Trev
Your show is the best radio I have EVER heard. Yes honest, I just lie here on my bed and laugh. Quietly, of course, so as not to miss the next bit. I would be revelling in the webcam too but sadly my computer isn't capable of such technological feats; it soon will be though because I have to have the podcasts. Congratulations on the No 1 slot!
I'm in quite a panic to note that your stand-up tour dates for February and March CLASH with the Radio 2 Saturday night show. I'm going to see you live in Birmingham but what am I going to do on the other dates? What's going to happen to the Radio 2 show? This is very important to my future happiness!
Matt, I would like to mention that my first ever crush, when I was seven, was on a lad called Matthew Morgan in my class at school. I've looked at your pics however and decided you and he are probably not the same. Did you happen to grow up in Coventry and are you about 35 or 36 now? Because if you did you could be him and that would be surprising! But he never fancied me back.
Russ, you are totally amazingly fabulously gorgeous witty clever kind talented and quite possibly, in fact probably, the sexiest man alive. My girlfriend agrees and you're very welcome to pop round some time, for tea and cake, that sort of thing.
Trev, I don't want you to feel left out, so I'll just say that I love your kinky painted legs, mmm!
love n kisses
Imogen
I have a dilema
My drama teacher has been adament that I go to a really amazing college to study Drama for 3 years as its been the only lesson ive enjoyed at high school.
However, ive been offered an amazing job traveling!
Should I keep my drama teacher happy?
Or take the amazing job?
Sounds an easy choice but my teacher is more of a mentor and i'm sure he would be more then a little pissed off, and theres still 3 months to go and he'd make my life difficult.
Sarah
If your drama teacher has such a personal investment in your following the path which he suggests then he is not such a great mentor. A true guide would want you to find out what's best for you.
I think you should do what you think is the best and that if he makes your life difficult then this proves he is not very mature, even though he is a drama teacher.
Perhaps he fancies you and his guidance is more about his own gratification than your well being.
Only trust truly disinterested and mature advice Sarah, such as Matt, Trev and the dear Russ give us all every week and I am giving you now.
Linda
Cant wait for you, Russ and Trev to go riding round a roundabout in an ice-cream van dispensing free ice-creams!
xxx
Help.
Last time I went to the hairdressers, she cut my eyebrows even though I didn't ask her to.
Should I have complained ? Is this normal ? She was South African.
Where's my bloody ice cream.
Oh gracious moses mighty me.
Thank you SO much for playing Double Dutch. I haven't heard it for years, possibly not since before this millennium. How utterly, unspeakably fabulous.
Ba ba uhmm ba ba.
Love you. All three of you. Big time. XXX
Do you remember when you made that mp3 of 'pinch my skin' and 'eat your fudge'? Would you consider making one of Trev saying 'you shouldn't wear your pants in bed' from this Saturday's show, please? It was the funniest thing I've heard in ages. I'm still loving 'pinch my skin' as my text message alert but the other day it was set loud and it frightened a wee girl on the number 29 bus.
All my love
Carol
PS The other night - during that cold snap - I did wear my woolly hat and socks in bed but the rest of me was in the nuddy. Thus conforming to both Trev's and Matt's advice even before I had heard it!!!
do you radio folks like the band queen
i would very much like to know
byee x
Thanks for the advice Linda!
Although I doubt it's because he fancies me ... he's got a boyfriend!
I've decided that I am definatly going to have the job and if he wants to have a tantrum thats his problem!
:D Thanks!
I love your guys camraderie and all that, but its the music selection that YOU played that turned me on to this show on 6 music - the best tunes i had heared (tunred me on to new bands) combined with rubbish me and my mates would spout and stories that surpassed my own.
are you not allowed to play the music you like?
I mean, russell has found his footing, specially in this last show.
its your duty to expand the musical minds of the
kids as much as its russels to expand their..i dont know....nutsack?
i no longer hear the music
jon.
I am unsure whether i can use names and advertise such podcasts from the BBC so i will use code names...
I used to be a HUGE fan of the Rhys Boyles Show on a radio station which is your number halved, but decided to 'check out' your podcast because i find Russell a hilarity, but i enjoy all three of your company, and i think all of the listeners who moan about 'russell not writing the blog' should shut up and give you other guys some credit, Russell has enough time on air, and i'm not complaining about this, i think you have a good balance. Rhys Boyles got on my nerves a bit because he always wants to be the centre of attention and tries to put other poeple down in order to highten himself.
I would also like to ask if you would agree that 'God' is a figment of imagination, in everyones minds, like to me i am God, i cant explain very well, but i believe only i control me, past events cause future events, for example, if i dont hang my shirt up when i come home from school will tomorow be different in any way, than if i did hang it up? or any point in the future in fact, but we will never know unless we went back in time somehow and changed only that tiny detail and see if it changed anything in future.
https://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g283/lick_my_turd/Jacket_and_T_Shirt_Hanger.jpg
I see it says: (you may use HTML tags for style) so that i shall, and style i shall flaunt, here is a dandy picture from Schmoogle, that worldwide search engine...
https://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g283/lick_my_turd/oddrussell.jpg
oooohhh.
Liked the re: brand docs btw.
From i, Laura Browne the first (I)
xxx
Clare, Russell, Matt and Trevor,
First of all thank you so much for all your efforts over the last few weeks to help me not only remember my new girl friends name but in all your assistance and concern for our future together.
We have since our first date to London, where we went to Claridges, the Hilton Windows to the World bar, Covent garden and finishing it all of with a Thia meal just off Soho, enjoyeed much fun times together.
You will be happy to know her 3 kids think I am mister wonderful. I've taken the two boys out all on me own last week too.
We've been out for a 4'some with Annitta's friends. And plan to go an see James Morrison in consert soon.
Russell, I did not tell you what I did for a living. Well I am a chauffeur to the rich and famous. Not driven you yet mate, hope to soon.
All our Luv
Pete an Anitta
hoorah top of the charts where it belongs just at the same time as the standards of the six music glory days are reached. its about time that old podcasts which have been released by ricky gervais ages ago stop hogging the top spot from people who deserve it because they keep doing a podcast every week! now just aiming for the top of the radio charts! is there a radio charts? i dont actually know though there should be though well done for the number one position about time for people realise how funny you lot actually are! the blog is equally funny and loses nothing from being done by matt that actually adds to the goodness
Wasn't Simon Russell (the wine bloke) Trev??? Sounded like him to me!
well done on being no1 gentlemen.
Matt your blogs amuse me - you should do them all the time anyway - stuff the twisting people
Hey Matt
Firstly congrats to you and the lads for being number 1, always knew you would!
Secondly, what a brilliant, witty & funny blog - you never fail to make me laugh.
You truly are such an excellant comedy writer!
Love Lindsay x
btw, I remember the early show when the whole ice cream van idea was discussed & it was to park in the middle of a roundabout & give out free ice cream! - might want to wait til the summer or change to handing out cups of tea & coffee!!!
Hi Sarah
Glad you decided to do what you wanted rather than be influenced by your teacher - I hope you have a brilliant year travelling.
So he doesn't fancy you - must be motivated by power and control rather than lust then! Maybe that's unfair and he'll surprise you by being cool about the whole thing.
I wonder if he reads this blog?? How weird would that be, to read about yourself on a blog? It wouldn't surprise me if he reads it because being gay he would obviously adore the dear Russ. How truly and deeply distressing it must be for gay men to know that R is straight! Like the poor whale on BBBM.
I am imagining your teacher reading your messages and feeling embarrassed and flattered at the same time and not being able to mention it when he sees you in class.
Well done guys for being numero uno - you are by far the funniest thing on radio or TV.
Linda
Enjoyed the show last week!!!! Russell you rant about Germaine Greer was funny, but c'mon u have to admit sleeping with Hendrix is quite a good claim to fame. Don't get me wrong i hate the feminist hag really - and always had. Until strangely i was watching some late night show on C4 (masquerading as educational history of porn) and i saw a photo of Germaine in her youth on this show in only what can be described as showing herself in her full glory!!! The kind of pose u find in a mucky magazine on the top shelf. I urge u to find this picture, and i have no doubt you'll view her in a entirely new light - after all her views on you were probably just sexual frustration, as undoubtedly she would have added u to her conquest list back then!!! In fact after viewing that pic, you might want a go yourself!?!
I can honestly say I only wet the bed once, obviously after the age where shame is introduced. I remember waking up slightly confused by the whole situation and left wondering why this had happened to ME of all people.
If only I had a first aid kit to blame . . .
Hello,
On my actual birthday date, you became the number one podcast, what a day!