Resolutions
Hello Matt here. Well its 2007 and I’m a cliché. Oh horror of horrors, I’m conforming to the image of the national psyche proffered by items on ‘This Morning’ aimed at housewives worried about their flab…
I made a vow to start going to the gym in the New Year. How desperately unoriginal.
Well anyway, now I can’t go through with it because I can’t bear the thought of those smarmy gym-attendants looking at me and thinking I’m some ‘January Amateur’ there to work off mince-pie guilt, who’s baffled by the machines and who’ll never be seen again come February. No way, instead I’ve been riding my mountain-bike off-road. Yeah baby. In the wind, the rain and the mud and now that my bike’s all dirty no one can tell how long I’ve been doing it for, ‘New Year’s resolution? Are you crazy? I’ve been hitting the trail for years’. Ha-ha, take that Britain.
Anyway, due to a bit of poor time-keeping on my part, I turned up to a meeting with Rusty Brand fresh from a ride. I was covered in mud and the look of disdain on his face was remarkable. He accused me of ‘living in a ditch’ and as the meeting went on and the caked-mud dried and started to fall off, he turned his nose up and swept his Dior jacket away from me. You don’t get covered in shit doing Yoga in Hampstead do ya Brandy? What is it, a little too real for ya? Huh?
(In truth, I can’t wait ‘til February when I can stop this charade; some mud went in my mouth and I’m worried I’ll die)
I think you should try to locate an off-road tandem and take Brandy with you.
Not like you to be a hypocondriac Matt.
I don't use the gym for similar reasons, just buy some basic dunbells for £30 and use them at home. Combined with a few jogs, cycles, and some healthy food, you'll have a better lifestyle.
Why pay to go to a sweaty room, to run on a machine, when you could just run outdoors?
Senseless.
Pax.
Coom
Don't worry about the mud- it's very good for your skin (apparently) and any germs from the bit you ate won't be strong enough to do you any harm but will boost your immune system :D
may i suggest that next year you make a simpler one? i made 2 and the first 1 was to go and have my hair cut which i did! made me feel great that i had kept my NY resolution when everyone else was failing!
my other new years resolution was to concentrate more on my college work-its going terribly well so far! i have spend most evenings listening to the downloads of the show and watching Russell on BBBM, have done no work whatsoever (is that one word?) and have exams in 1 week! if only my exams were about your show...oh well its only my future! Back to the podcasts!
Love Jojo
You big ol' hypochondriac you. One can't get ill from "some" mud. Little children eat stuff like it all the time. Then they get stopped by their parents, told to fear all things which don't come in plastic protection (oi oi), and eventually grow into people with irrational fears.
Good idea though, with the mountain-biking and all that. Especially the bit where you trick a nation into believing you a pro. A plan possibly destroyed a little bit by you confessing it into a blog visually available worldwide.
I am really frustrated, and jealous of Jojo, who posted previously. I only just got a little iPodder thingy, and can only listen to the Jan 8th show. Which, lovely as it is, isn't enough! I can't seem to find a sneaky little internet archive of your podcasts anywhere.
:o[
I s'pose I'll just have to procrastinate and avoid revision by searching for mildly interesting material on YouTube or something.
*sigh*
I prefer listening to the show. It makes me laugh out loud, alone, in front of my computer. Which may worry other members of my household.
:o]
Good thing, that is.
A.
xx
why not get those bike thingys that stays still?
then you don't have to get mud in your mouth, you can just peddle away whilst eating cake and watching t.v.
i think new year resolutions are cheesy i never make one and im well without it healthy, happy and Alive.
xAmida Buddhax
Lol Matt your hilarious. best blog yet!
my theres loads of comments on here, it only posted this mornin
my resolution was to get a person of an ethnic minority group into my friendship group. their name was to be Maurice. doesnt look too promising so far.
get fat, its good. except when the world gets too populated their gunna cull all the fats and delinquants. keep the good stock. ill tell ya that for nothing.
sorr i put two on there guys, i though it didnt work. ha ha ha
Hehe!! I'm reeeaaally gonna try and stick to me ressies this year!! (I wish :D)
Gr8 bloggy blog as usual Matt, but Rusty has to do one sometime!!! :D
Luv ya, Kel
xx
Great blog Matt!!
What I don't like about new years resolutions is the way people make them up on the spot. Like some people just go "Oh I'll go to the gym" or "I'll go on a diet" or "I'll quit smoking" when they actually know in some, if not most, cases they will fail!
People should do more personal things other then their phyiscal wellbeing. Such as one of mine being do more things for myself [like treating myself to a shopping spree or doing something different]. At least that way you can go "YEP I HAVE KEPT MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION" rather then going "oh i gave up on it a few days later...boohoohoo...But im going to try again next year!"..next year comes about and the cycle continues!
Love the show, even in podcast form!!
Make the podcasts an hour long or more these days PLLEASSSE!!!!
They are just brilliant!
WUVVOOOOOs
xxx
Russell James, 15, Dublin x
Matt, you made me laugh so much with this present blog. I was imagining the bike, the fields, the mud and the look of disdain on Russell's face. Don't worry though, you won't die from eating mud. I never wash the mud off my mushrooms for my fry ups and I am still alive.
Hello Matt (and thanks for the fantastic New Years eve party)
You're method of keeping fit is highly original and sounds like fun. Going to the gym is tedious and boring and no one should participate in it, it is addictive an wrong. I was in the army once, for a laugh, and they made us go to the gym all the time, it was soul-destroying. Being muddy isn't all bad, some people look good a bit dirty, like.... well I can't think of a like right now. I imagine you would look glorious all muddy and disshevled.
My New Years relsolution(s) were as follows, don't do ANY crazy spur of the moment things (in previous years I have joined the army, got a tattoo, jumped off a bridge and said many things I really shouldn't all due to spur of the moment decision making, but alas, it was not to be, during my fun-filled new Years holiday to London, I stumbled upon a tattoo place in Camden (funnily enough) on my way to watch Jim'll Fix It get filmed and I got my tongue peirced, something I have never desired to do, not even for a moment in my life. That was one NYR out fo the window.
Another, like jojo before me, was to buckle down and do some college work, ie: design and build a model set for a play. Of which i have done none and I have class this very morn! The distraction from my work comes in the shape of this glorious new laptop and its mobile internet browsing capabilites. I am doomed to live a life uneducated and incapable, through sheer laziness, to ever live my dreams.
Look forward to the next show
Hayleigh, Fife
XxX
...But mud's nature innit? He can't go on about bein' beautiful to people and lovin life and then shy away from a bit of congealed dust, surely?? I have to say that I've been swimming for exercise since new years...I dont undersand what mountai biking does, health-wise?
I saw Steve Merchant in the 1st episode of the new season of 24. Hes sitting down in CTU and gets handed a piece of paper from the boss woman.
HOW DID HE WANGLE THAT??
good luck to him, hope his acting career takes off :)
Well, Matt!
I think 2007 should mean you write this blog always! Never mind about ole russ-we do infact hear enough of his ramblings (magazines. Guardian etc) Its brilliant, and ever so vivid! I can imagine the voices of you all in my head and even Russell's disgusted face!
I'd love to see you on your bike...wind in your face, mud up your legs and a helmet, bless! I have a bike, but it must only come out of the garage about once a year! I do admit i quite like a good long ride, but it kills me! Not because of the exercise, but due to the fact it bruses my arse and a cant sit down for two days after the ride! In the end, i realise it wasn't worth the hassell, and i have a nice walk instead!
Also I never make any resolutions cos it just makes January more depressing when you realise by the 3rd of January you've broken them all anyway!
Cant wait for the next one!
Keep up the great show....last weeks was absolutely fantasic!
Victoria xx
As i'm at the bottom, i don't expect you'll read this and you can't have time to all the time.
I think you should play a trick on Russell and get him all muddy and get him to do other things he doesn't ike or like to do, it would be really funny!
It would be sort of like when you do other peoples dares. you can get your revenge on him, as he must have laughed at you at some point.
If you don't want to do any of these suggestions, you could try cycling in Richmond Park, its quite near Wimbledon. i think its less muddy there and its really big so you could go for a long ride if you wanted to.
Good luck!
Lots of love,
Scarlett
x x x
P.S. could you take some more photos when your in the Radio 2 studio, so us viewers can find out what your up to.
Now now!
I'm sure if you start to die Russell will take to along to the 'Posh Docs' again!
xxxxx
You should get him to come with you! Would love to see the look on Russell's face after being trailed cross-country in the pouring rain and having his Dior jacket covered in mud! :D
Looking forward to this weeks show,
Ben
PS. As much as I love reading your wonderful blogs, Matt, is there any chance that Russell will ever be writing one? :p
my new years resolution was to drink more which i have so far spectacularly failed to do. I thought that it would be easy to keep but I failed miserably.
The only way you'd die is if there was some kind of superbug hidden in the soil, and I don't know if dirt harbours the right sort of conditions for superbugs to thrive in...You seem a hardy sort Matt, bet your immune system will look after you.
My New Year's resolution was to start being more rational in the face of my own hypochondriasis - writing this message to you is a practice run for when I develop pneumonia/T.B./some other life-threatening disease. Can't wait for Saturday's show! Helen xxx
Matt, the next time you have a meeting with Russell dress like a pinafored man-doyley, play whale song music or Clannad from a crap tape machine on the table and start fanning him vigorously with a palm leaf whenever he begins to talk.
Ione x