Happy Christmas
Bloggy bloggy.
Well it’s cold in London but that’s to be expected. Who though would have predicted the ‘killer fog’? It’s a nice effect, very Victorian. How retro to have England draped in a spooky fog? It’s a great look for winter but it’s starting to make me a bit depressed.
The irony is you cannot escape the hellish mist because all the aeroplanes are nervously grounded, unless you are Russell Brand of course. This is a man who needs a holiday, but he only has a narrow window in which to slot it. This week I’ve heard him making endless phone-calls to some poor, wretched travel agent, stating his diva-esque demands, I’ve heard talk of ‘private planes’ and ‘designer bathrooms’. This is Jennifer Lopez territory and he will not be stopped by killer fog.
Anyway, through sheer force of will Rusty has managed to commandeer a craft to make his escape to the sun. I don’t want to disappoint any children reading but I fear his transport may have been commandeered from a fat man in a red suit.
So we’re doing a pre-record for next weeks show while Brand suns himself in luxury, laughing and laughing. Why not let us know about times you’ve escaped, be it from Christmas, killer fog, amorous animals or even Her Majesties Pleasure.
Lucky Russell getting to have his own plane to escape to lands of warmth. I need to escape this killer fog, it looks like there IS no world outside. It doesn't even make everything look Christmassy, you just can't see ANYTHING! The world has disappeared.
I once hopped on a plane to USA to escape a boyfriend, and once there I lost my plane tickets. Ooops. My uncle had to buy me new ones so I could get home.
I could definitely do with some sun, so let Russell know I'm free if he would like someone to help him carry his suntan lotion!
Wishing you a merry Christmas Matt!
One time my parents were doing my head in so I just needed to get away. I told them I was staying at a friends house and went to France for a couple of days with a load of students who were going to buy cheap alcohol. On the way back the van broke down so I was bricking it at the thought of being stranded in France. Luckily we got back alright - my parents still don't know! I was only 15 at the time.
Also I regularly climb out of windows to escape awkward situations, Its my preferred method of exit nowadays.
xxx
Good on Russell he deserves a holiday! I think you do too Matt...you'd be quite welcome to come to Tunisia with us on NYE! Thats if the 'killer' fog does not ruin it, alas I don't think private jets are avaliable for us commoners, hehe!
I once had to escape from off the floor of a gig, don't even ask how i ended up down there, but from the mass of people and crowd suffing going on above there was no way up! So i had to crawl to the back of the room, minding stayed items of clothing and shoes and cups of urine! I honestly don't know how i made it out alive, but i'm still here today to live and tell the tale thank God!
xxx
Unfortunately I'm from the facing things rather than escaping from them; so come on Killer fog - "Bring it on!!" :-) Seriously though, an unusually short comment from me this time - where-ever you happen to find yourselves, may your Christmas be grand and your new years be memorable.
M. (and cheer up Matt - well - like being told to cheer up could cure a bout of melancholy; if it were that simple all those psychologists would be out of a job)
Does Russell not post on here, then?
I onced escaped from a psychiatric institution (I'm not joking - although it *was* hilarious).
I just walked around for a few hours thinking, "Ha! I'm an escaped mental patient!" Not to worry, though, I didn't go on any murderous rampages or anything crazy; just took myself for a 4-mile stroll, and then went back to the ward when it got too cold and started raining! Haha!
How bizarre to be able to list on my CV of life experiences: age 21 - escaped from a loony bin!
Hahaha! :)
Merry Christmas to all of you...I'm glad Russ is finally taking a holiday, that man works too hard. You deserve a beak as well Matt, especially as you have been left to do the blog again ;-)
I have nothing I've ever really had to escape from..although I once failed in my escape from The Disney shop. I was two, and I wanted this toy Tigger that was bigger than me, and my mum wouldn't buy it for me, so I grabbed it and ran...difficult under the circumstances. I was in this big shopping centre place, and I only just got out the door before this woman who worked in the Disney shop caught me. I haven't ever done anything rebelish since...maybe being told I was a naughty girl at such a young age emotionally scared me.
Have a wonderful christmas.
Keep safe and keep smiling,
Alex
xxx
aww all the fog is leaving us! back to the 21st century matt:( (russell as always will remain in victorian england i presume) still can't see anything because of all the car fumes though.
so russell wasted all that time commandeering his private jet and it is no longer needed! but maybe it wasnt a total waste because the fog will probably go and hold hostage the airport russ is flying to and then he will have to turn around and fly back home to us yey! (thats if the pilot doesn't decide to turn the plane around half way because russell is kicking the seats shouting "are we there yet?!")
happy hogswatch...err.. i meant christmas!
Jojo xxx
I escaped from a violent husband after 7 years, and I would encourage any woman in the same position to leave, I guarantee you won't regret it no matter how frightened you are of leaving. Yes, it will be a hellish time, but at the end of it you will have your life back!
Well, there was this one time when I was like 10, I was visitng my friend who lived near me, and they had this HUGE dog. I HATE really big dogs coz they scare the s**t out of me. Anyways, I walked across thegreen to where she lived and their big - ass dog started running at me!! Funnily enough, dogs are quite fast, and I was an unfit lump running around the green away from this dog, I must've been running for like 5 minutes just full-on! I got away unscathed, eventually but I haven't been to see her since then =]
P.S : Russell, you're fit and I love you!!!!!!
xx
SUGGESTION
Get the poetry guy to do the blog occasionally he deserves more appreciation time.
Nice show guys
perfect end to the year, loved th poem at the end. happy new year too u all!!!!
Matt, this is a beautiful blog, you should be very proud of yourself, well done (I promise I'm not being sarcastic, though it may seem that way, but it is difficult to sense the tone!)
I hope you recover from whatever it is you're suffering from in time to celebrate the new year and I'm sure your party will be a huge success despite Russell's absense.
I feel like this time of year traps me in depression, however, this may be more of a mind-set that I've gotten myself into, it's probably because of pressures from society etc.
Lots of love to all the gang,
xxx
p.s. long live hairspray!
I heard Russell was supposed to be taking part in this year Cirque De Celebrite!
Blimey!
Imagine those already tight jeans stretched even futher as he tried to spin through the air!
Think of the tantrums!
xxxxxxxx
my comment is utterly and compleatly unrelated to your blog.
just to warn you
now that russel has given up his campaign to change football chants at the first hurdle -
which i personally think is despicable
- he should start a new campaign to get people around the globe to wear a pink dressing gown on a set day. not one dressing gown between them
thatd be silly, but one each.
it turns out i have lied and i am going to mention your blog
i'd like to complain about the jovial fashion with which your blog mention the " killer fog" it is in fact not a joking matter as ;
over 1 persons every year is killed by fog every year !
I've escaped from Killer Fog and Christmas. Amourous animals weren't so easy to escape from - so many pairs of jeans have met a warm, wet end.... As for Her Majestys' Pleasure, it's never been an issue. I've never met her. Princess Edward, on the other hand.....
Russell should really do a blog one of these ol' days! (Not that I don't enjoy reading Matt's blogs) xxx
Stop moaning about Matt's blogs. As great as Russell's sublime meanderings are he has a totalitarian grip over the radio show. Matt writes a great blog, thought provokingly off kilter. You can't gorge yourself on any one thing, look what happened to Dr Atkins.
i like matt doing the blog, it's nice.
I was in Sicily recently, and had to escape tout suite. I can't go into much detail, evidently, but suffice to say I was there to make my face known in advance of the arrival of West Ham (who were paired with Palermo in the UEFA Cup this year). So yo, after watching the first-leg beamed back live from London on a tiny set in Al Garage, a hole-in-the-wall eaterie smack-bang in the heartland of the Rosenegro Ultras, I ventured out the next day to meet "an associate" in Incarceria Ucciardone.
Again, we'll have to brush over the detail, but I was wearing my brand new Kelton suede pointers, the Nigel Hall sky blue strides, a fetching claret Lyle&Scott, and a pair of Persol shades. Suffice to say, it's a dangerous place, and for the next few days I was followed EVERYWHERE by [url=https://www.flickr.com/photos/64463039@N00/314854136/]this fella[/url]. Seriously!
In any case, I took refuge with the Deviant Art crew, and, sure I was a goner, drank heavily in Gentleman Loser. Those were the dog days of summer.
To continue, the dudes who were looking after me were really looking after me, if you know what I'm saying, and so, the next night (it was a 24hr bar) we ventured out to the late night hang out that doubles as the 'Balloro Market'. Whatever. When the coast was clear, I flew swift-of-foot back to the hotel and got changed into my 1973 West Ham replica.
Big Mistake. Bloody hell.
For, right there and then, my eyes and ears, my local muscle, my back up, my untouchability = The End. With no place safe and no failsafe, and worst of all, two different mobs on my case, I was on a flight back to Blighty before you could say "Arrividerci, it's one-on-ten."
hilarious...i listen to the podcast and its great
is matt the only one who blogs
get the other two sorted out matt
well happy days love the show and podcasts
That lazy git Brand, not only is the only blogger in the world that never writes anything, but now a holiday... gee like having 500 TV shows on the go and a radio show is work! He needs a holiday as much as he needs more hairspray!
we need another blog matt blog is good and at least you can get credit for the stuff you write instead of russell for a change (that was a joke)