Tom's Top Tales: Falling asleep in inappropriate places

Falling asleep in inappropriate places was the TM Show theme on Wednesday. These two tales range form the weird and hilarious to the tragic and very moving:

Please don't mention my name or I'll be frowned right out the family door...

A good few years ago, on the way home from a rather boisterous night out in Glasgow, I alighted the last train at Croy and wobbled my way back to Kilsyth just as heavy snow started to fall. On the way I thought it a good idea to pop into the cemetery and say hello to some favourite past family members, one of whom shares his name with me. With no recollection of how I managed to finally get home, I rose the next morning with a very woolly head and vague memories of a dreadful nightmare in which I was lying very cold in a grave looking up at my own tombstone! I took my hangover and a can of Irn Bru out for a walk in the freshly fallen snow and stopped in by the cemetery, where after following some very wavy footprints in the snow came across the perfect outline of a body in the snow, sprawled across the family plot...

...and this from Robert in Orkney:

I am currently typing my Grandfather's diaries for 1917 and found somewhere not to fall asleep. He was a stretcher bearer at Ypres :

Thursday, 20th September

Heavy barrage started at 6 o'clock. Cases soon began to come down. C. Brenton got killed, 3 wounded, carried over canal. Last case just at dark. Then found a better 'ole to sleep.

Friday, 21st September

Had a good sleep in rain and mud. Carried in 2's. Got good rations after missing breakfast. Had many narrow escapes.

The Tom Morton Show Mon-Thurs 1430-1600, Fri 1400-1600.