No Cannes Do
I'm not going to Cannes this year which as you can imagine has made me very sad - NOT! Just to prove that you don't need to travel to the South of France and put up with all that madness - I'm inviting submissions for my rival alternative virtual film festival right here in the UK.
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Comment number 1.
At 14:25 6th May 2011, dune357 wrote:I'm in liverpool and probably the apart from all the usual blockbuster types there are Jig- a film about irish dancing and Submarine. Both are on at the fact
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Comment number 2.
At 14:28 6th May 2011, myerla wrote:For six days the Picture House cinema in Oxford will be showcasing the talents of Alfred Hitchcock, in the Oxford Mail’s and Picture House’s own annual film festival. Hitchcock’s films included in the festival are North by Northwest, Psycho, Frenzy, Rear Window (my personal favourite) Vertigo, The Lodger and Strangers on a Train. To be this sounds like an absolute treat and far more interesting than the Cannes film festival, sadly I am not in Oxford at the time.
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Comment number 3.
At 14:47 6th May 2011, StevenFurry wrote:Hi Mark,
I'm from Austria and recently watched a little Austrian Independent film called Tartarus. It's an Alien Invasion film set in rural Austria of the 19th Century which gives the film an intriguing Touch. I loved it and am waiting impatiently waiting for it to get released on dvd. Tartarus probably won't run at Cannes so this might be a great little treasure for your Festival:-)
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Comment number 4.
At 15:01 6th May 2011, TheDensley7 wrote:Hi Mark, Apocalypse Now will be playing near me at the Watershed in Bristol - I think it should definitely be on the bill.
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Comment number 5.
At 15:04 6th May 2011, shaundunne wrote:Open With
The Man with a Movie Camera (BFI Southbank for their Soviet Season)
Un Certain Regard
Metropolis (Prince Charles Vintage Season)
Directors Fortnight
Apocalypse Now (small re-release)
Blockbuster
Transformers 3
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Comment number 6.
At 15:24 6th May 2011, Robert wrote:Edinburgh Cameo showing Polanski's 'Knife in the Water' this Sunday alongside 'Essential Killing'.
Also showing the new animation 'My Dog Tulip' which I have heard plenty of good things about.
Also Re-Animator and Braindead featured in the all night horror event that happened recently (or is happening soon). They could also feature somewhere!
In terms of Hollywood: New X-men? or Hangover 2
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Comment number 7.
At 15:25 6th May 2011, Robert wrote:Also, instead of Cannes, make a trip to Edinburgh Film Festival this year, they could do with the positive press!
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Comment number 8.
At 15:38 6th May 2011, Diarmaid Hanly wrote:TT2D: Even Closer to the Edge
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Comment number 9.
At 16:22 6th May 2011, lostInthedetails wrote:In trying to only find films that came out this year (I gave up by the way some of my submissions are old) i've found out their is a new Johnny English film comming out (Johnny English Reborn) so look forward to that mark. Ugh.
Big Opening: Black Dyamite by Scott Sanders; I saw this at the EIFF and it has yet to get a cinema release so went stright to DVD. It was the funnest black comedy (in more ways than one) I've seen in the last five years. It is a comic take on a Blacksploitation film, ala Mel Brooks, about a Black Karate master who trys to find out who is selling cocain to the local orphans. It doesn't take it's self seriously but is still masterfully made.
Un Certain Regar: I take film at university and as a part of my course I have to go see a different style of film every week and last week we saw Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky and I was truly moved. It taught me that the landscape is as much a charcter as the actors and really made think if the hollywoood style of editing is really nessary. Maybe less edit is more?
Directers Fortnight: Hable con ella (english: Talk to her) by Pedro Almodóvar is another film i saw on my film course. It was very intersting because it is a film that in my opinion doesn't morialise at the viewer and leaves us to deside it the charcters actions are right or wrong which is refreshing to see in a film when so many blockbusters feel the need to take any issue down to black and white terms with on shades of gray.
Big Hollywood Beast: X-Men: First Class or Super 8. As much as I dislike some hollywood films I can't lie to myself and not admit I'm really excited about seeing X: Men First class as the Xmen are my favorite comic book heroes. Xmen is the best choice for the hollywood film of our season as it does showcase some up and coming talent. However Super 8 may be prefible to film buffs are the main cast of children are trying to make a film when the scify come and exspodes into the plot.
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Comment number 10.
At 16:24 6th May 2011, Robert wrote:Open With
I Am Love
Un Certain Regard
24 City
Directors Fortnight
The Leopard
Blockbuster
Thor
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Comment number 11.
At 16:32 6th May 2011, RussiansEatBambi66 wrote:Is there anybody here who actually likes Cannes?
I do - and I think despite Dr. K's irritation of the culture of Cannes, I think that it has played host to some great film events and let's not forget it was Cannes that:
1. Championed Scorsese's Taxi Driver
2. Awarded Pulp Fiction it's due credit
I can imagine Cannes being boring for film critics (who don't have an interest in making pictures) but to a filmmaker Cannes is a valuable festival.
Directors like Kiarostami, Wenders and Von Trier have always paid tribute to the Cannes festival for it's help in launching their careers on it's stage.
Also the Cannes Short Film Corner is a great way for all new filmmakers to get into the festival and gain valuable experience (by way of their accreditation) as they get to try and sell their short film to distributors, walk around the manic film markets as well as the pavilions and gaining points for the screenings.
The Oscars are evil admittedly but I quite like Cannes
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Comment number 12.
At 16:35 6th May 2011, MidtownSkyport wrote:Cannes coincides with the wonderful Tyneside Cinema's 75th Anniversary celebrations. They've got some amazing films on the weekend 21st-22nd if you're up for staying up late. Tickets are only 75p too.
https://www.tynesidecinema.co.uk/whats-on/75th-anniversary
May 12
Planes, Trains And Automobiles
May 13th
Raiders Of The Lost Ark
May 15
The Ten Commandments
May 21
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Battle Royale
The Shining
May 22
Peeping Tom
King Kong (1933)
Edward Scissorhands
Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!
Harold and Maude
Planet Of The Apes
Cat People
Oldboy
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Comment number 13.
At 16:44 6th May 2011, jayfurneaux wrote:Budget cuts eh?
Rather than creating your own (imaginary) festival from films already on release try going to a real film festival here in Blighty.
I’ll suggest:
The Terracotta Far East Film Festival showcases East Asian film. (You’ll have to be quick Dr K, it’s currently running.)
https://terracottafestival.com/
The East End Film Festival (you may have just missed that one.)
https://www.eastendfilmfestival.com/index.php?/programme/C17/
I’ll also recommend the Shaff adventure documentary film festival. One for your diary next year.
https://www.shaff.co.uk/
Otherwise spend time catching up on all those small, obscure DVDs you've been meaning to watch, but haven’t got round to yet.
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Comment number 14.
At 17:21 6th May 2011, Bill Cumming wrote:Pick up a DVD copy of "INK" (great inde movie) it's a modern fairy tale.
It's +67mins of pure pleasure, Gives you hope that there's still people out their who love making movies with stories that make the viewer think, rather than filming explosions and wooden actors being CGI'ed up the wazoo!!
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Comment number 15.
At 17:30 6th May 2011, MikeWain wrote:Who needs Cannes when you live in a small, dull, suburban town, in between Nottingham and Derby. Some films showing at the Broadway Cinema and Media Centre include:
Dario Argento's 'The Bird With The Crystal Plumage' (1969) and 'Tenebre' (1982)
Paul and Sandra Fierlinger's 'My Dog Tulip' (2009)
Takashi Miike's '13 Assassins' (2011) - I'm seeing this tonight and very excited about it.
Upisde Down: The Creation Records Story (2010)
And at the Derby Quad:
Kelly Reichardt's 'Meek's Cutoff' (2010)
Luc Besson's 'Adele Blanc-Sec' (2010)
As you seem to have a week off, you would be welcome to join us for any of these films Dr. K.
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Comment number 16.
At 19:46 6th May 2011, ewen griffn wrote:The new film by Terrence Malick (The Tree Of Life) is showing at Cannes, however it was supposed to come out in the U.K on the 5th of May, anyone know what happened there?
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Comment number 17.
At 20:15 6th May 2011, maycontainspoilers wrote:I have some ideas but some of them will be films that coincide with there DVD and Blu-ray releases but here we go:
Big Opening movie: The Kings Speech DVD, out 9th of may and with main focus on this side of the channel, we distance ourselves from cannes all the more. Attack the block also UK.
Directors Chair: Source code, I saw the Devil dvd (9th may), 13 assassins, The way back dvd.
Appalling Hollywood blockbuster: Thor (not appalling but big blockbuster and yes i saw it in 2D), Priest 3D (submitted based on your review)
As for un certain regard im not too sure but we could give some certain regard to hanna and water for elephants as i enjoyed both.
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Comment number 18.
At 21:01 6th May 2011, rampagingbuffoon wrote:LANCASTER (The Dukes Theatre/Cinema)
Two documentaries:
waste land - land fill in rio de janeiro
benda bilili - congolese street musicians (french with subs)
Big Opening - Essential Killing or Last Man On Earth
Un Certain regard - How I Ended This Summer (Russian with subs) or Little White Lies
Directors Fortnight - Oranges And Sunshine
(Appauling) Hollywood Blockbuster - The Tempest (not actually bad) or fast and furious 5
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Comment number 19.
At 21:17 6th May 2011, Bill wrote:Hey Mark, echoing a previous Bristol Watershed screening (Apocalypse Now); 'Farewell' (L'affaire Farewell) by Christian Carion is also showing;
as is 'Outside the Law';
as well as 'My Dog Tulip', a British animation featuring Christopher Plummer about J.R. Ackerley's relationship with his dog.
They could be for the Director's Fortnight or possibly certain regard; either or. :)
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Comment number 20.
At 21:21 6th May 2011, nsd92 wrote:Two suggestions for the directors fortnight (or even the Hollywood blockbuster), as both are celebrating their 30th anniversaries this year. First, "Raiders of the Lost Ark", a film considered to be a blockbuster but is still full of warmth, heart, humor and action sequences that have been referenced for 30 years. The other film is John Landis' classic "An American werewolf in London", one that I have championed for quite a while. A deft mix of horror and comedy, the transformation sequence alone is worth watching.
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Comment number 21.
At 21:29 6th May 2011, tonycoogs wrote:Opening Film: My local Picturehouse recently did a screening of Life of Brian so I'll open with that. Going with a big premiere though, I would do The Beaver
Un Certain Regard: Submarine
Directors Fortnight: 13 Assassins/The Greatest Movie Ever Sold/Source Code
Appalling Blockbuster: Transformers 3/Pirates of the Caribbean 4
I would also hold a special event if I did a film festival to celebrate the release of Hanna with a triple bill of Leon, Kick-Ass and Hanna and then having a Q and A afterwards with Natalie Portman, Chloe Grace Moretz and Saoirse Ronan to compare the way that they each tackled the role of a young assassin.
I would also do a marathon of great/bizarre foreign language films with Pan's Labyrinth, A Town Called Panic, The Devil's Backbone and every single Jackie Chan film.
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Comment number 22.
At 22:00 6th May 2011, 6oclockman wrote:I vote MEEK'S CUTOFF or TREE OF LIFE for Directors' Fortnight.
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Comment number 23.
At 22:53 6th May 2011, lewiscook13 wrote:The Gulbenkian Cinema in the University of Kent, Canterbury has a few interesting movies coming up:
Belgian animation A Town Called Panic - 3rd June
Lenny -15the May
Spanish horror The Silent House - 23rd May
I am sure that A Town Called Panic could knock the socks off of anything which will be showing at Cannes. One of my favourite animations due to how bonkers it is. Surrealism at its best.
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Comment number 24.
At 23:50 6th May 2011, big al wrote:is anyone showing the seventh seal havent seen that film in ages my fav film
a masterpiece
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Comment number 25.
At 00:26 7th May 2011, pauluna78 wrote:Dear Doctor No,
My suggestions for your alternative festival would be:
Open With: Tate Movie Project, saw what this is about on BBC news and loved it. It is quite trendy these days to open big festivals with an animation feature, so why not? plus! this one is made by UK kids.
Un Certain Regard: How I ended this summer. Watched this film at my local arthouse a couple of weeks ago and it is not a bad film, however, found it very stereotypically Russian. Very little dialogue, characters tormented like in a Dostoevsky novel, very good landscape cinematography... so yep, 'Un certain regard' for that one.
Directors Fortnight: Pina.
Annoying Hollywood Blockbuster: ohhhhhhh!!!! THE STAR WARS films screened from BLUE RAY discs. Oh yes, May the 4th be with you.
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Comment number 26.
At 00:41 7th May 2011, fantasy_escapist wrote:Hi Mark! Long time, no post as I post on your YT channel but I understand you probably don't read it, so I've returned! :D
I live near a Vue multiplex and the only indie films they have playing/coming soon are:
Never Let Me Go, Conviction, Cedar Rapids, Anuvahood, TT3D, Vidal Sassoon: The Movie, Attack the Block and Hanna.
So, I'll do this with the available films showing near me:
Big Opening Movie - Thor
Un Certain Regard - Hanna
Director's Fortnight - Takashi Miike
Appalling Hollywood Blockbuster - Sucker Punch*/Hop/Red Riding Hood or just do a quadruple-feature just to witness just how inept film making can be(also see: The Last Airbender and Transformer 2* for recent, further examples).
* especially egregious. May cause extreme stupidity and in some cases, need days of intellectual recovery.
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Comment number 27.
At 01:06 7th May 2011, Ciaran wrote:The person who suggested Stalker has my backing, one of my top, top favourites.
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Comment number 28.
At 02:09 7th May 2011, StephenAJ wrote:I'm going to the music festival All Tomorrow's Parties at the Butlins in Minehead next weekend for *gulp* a stag weekend. I have little to no interest in most of the bands playing there BUT they have a cinema so I am treating it as my own mini-"film festival"...
Big opening movie: Hausu is the first film to be shown - 1977 Japanese Horror Movie, know nothing about it - help Mark?
Un Certain Regard - definitely looking forward most to "Phase IV", the only directorial feature from Hitchcock title designer Saul Bass (and a great attempt to overcome my childhood fear of ants).
Directors Fortnight - I guess it has to be A Matter of Life and Death, showing at 10am on the Saturday, what better way to battle those first morning hangover-blues.
Appalling Hollywood Blockbuster - bugger. The last film to be shown is Don't Look Now at 2am on the Sunday night. Not exactly a Hollywood blockbuster but maybe when I get home I can go see Thor again?
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Comment number 29.
At 03:31 7th May 2011, Vincent Kane wrote:There are many festivals without the Cannes-ed madness, but with plenty of good films instead. I suggest the Dr go to Venice or Berlin.
I'm not sure it can compete with Lars' new film Melancholia, but the Belgian film Amer is having its premiere here in Amsterdam this week. Made with much love, it's a very stylish homage to the Giallo genre, more hyper-Giallo than Neo-Giallo. The cinematography completely blew me away. I haven't seen anything so visually stunning in a long time
I concur with previous posters about How I Ended this Summer.
@StephenAJ:
Forget the stag-do, but don't miss Hausu. It's an over-the-top surreal J-Horror cult classic.
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Comment number 30.
At 10:27 7th May 2011, P J Hughes wrote:Would it be too cynical to suggest jetting off to Hollywood with a videocamera and show what has been filmed?!?!
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Comment number 31.
At 10:49 7th May 2011, Brian - New Forest wrote:Open With
The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (whenever Gilliam manages to finish it, failing that or as a double with Tideland which didn't really have a decent release, and which I've held off seeing on video because I'd rather see it first on a screen).
Un Certain Regard
A Lynch Double, in honour of the passing of Dennis Hopper, his greatest role, Frank in Blue Velvet, and Wild At Heart, just for the fact that I blagged my way into the press screening of it at the Cannes film fest in 1990.
Directors Fortnight -- It has to be Michael Powell, but rather than plumb for A Matter of Life and Death (my fav) as someone has above, I'll be selfish and have two that I haven't seen: Edge of the World and The Small Back Room
Blockbuster
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (which should have been a blockbuster, despite it sagging a bit in places) and/or
The Avengers (2012) which, let's face it will either be awesome, or, given the weight of all the franchises tying-in to it, will more probably be embarrassing execrable garbage, which is the stuff blockbusters are made on.
Sorry, I've realised some of my selections require timetravel if you want to stage your festival now. I'll just hop into my vintage Wells machine, I'm off to help Throg with his commentary for the Painter's Cut of Cave of Forgotten Dreams, I may be some time.
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Comment number 32.
At 11:29 7th May 2011, Sapphire77 wrote:lol This is a funny idea. :)
There's a bunch of classics in the theaters here which would be great openers: 2001: a space odyssey, The African queen, Taxi driver, Sunset boulevard and Some like it hot!
Other than that you've got this so-called video nasty in the theaters called "The house by the cemetary". Not my kind of thing but it's interesting nonetheless. Then there's another interesting horror film playing namely "Nosferatu: eine Symphonie des Grauens".
And "Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" is playing too!
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Comment number 33.
At 11:43 7th May 2011, RussiansEatBambi66 wrote:@15
Totally! - Broadway Cinema/Broadway Media Centre is a real treat!
Not many people know but Tarantino was down there once as he was the president of the chain back when it was still called Broadway Cinema or something and he was approached by an art student who wanted to do a project on him - he obliged and did a phone interview from LA a few weeks later
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Comment number 34.
At 11:48 7th May 2011, Wayne wrote:Adventures Of Power, a movie which did the rounds at festivals last year, just out of DVD in the US, and a great movie about the power of music to overcome...
Trailer: https://youtu.be/GE0X0ypRvAQ
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Comment number 35.
At 12:10 7th May 2011, zardos wrote:'dead by dawn' Scotland's international horror film festival in Edinburgh could be a good alternative :o). Its on every year around this time and shows a great mixture of films including some independent gems that would struggle to get a screening elsewhere. They also have Directors Q&As and do an 'all nighter' lock-in which is great fun.
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Comment number 36.
At 14:45 7th May 2011, deadbeat74 wrote:Leon,Taxi Driver both playing at the GFT (Glasgow Film Theatre) the GFT will also be screening 'The Bolshoi Ballet: Coppelia' which is being shown live via satellite.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides in I-Max playing at the Glasgow Science Center
and one of my all time favorite films Dogs in Space which was surly a massive influence on Trainspotting will be playing in my house on VHS.
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Comment number 37.
At 16:16 7th May 2011, MargeGunderson wrote:Open with The Great White Silence the BFIs lovingly restored film of Scott's expedition by Herbert Ponting.
Or Sweetgrass by Ilisa Barbash, Lucien Castaing-Taylor.
An elegy to the American West and the last of the Cowboy shepherds. Sounds like it has some stunning visuals. I'm going to see it this very afternoon.
Un Certain Regard: Definitely agreeing with others on the choice of How I ended this summer. This sounds rather interesting, like The Thing without the Thing. ;D
Director's Fortnight: A nice bit of Lumet in tribute to the great man, featuring the likes of Serpico, Network, The Hill, 12 Angry Men etc.
Blockbuster: In this case this is not an appalling Hollywood Blockbuster, it's just a blockbuster both in its success (I predict!) and in plot terms! :D Attack the Block.
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Comment number 38.
At 20:43 7th May 2011, ewen griffn wrote:Opener: Hannah.
Un Certain Regard: Sweetgrass, it looks like an incredible love letter to an dying way of life.
Directors Fortnight: Idi I Smotri (Come and See), a dark and brilliant odyssey across Byelorussia during the Nazi occupation. The Road, a similar and seminal journey across a scorched landscape and The Directors Cut of The Devils, we can but dream.
Blockbuster: Source Code, it is big, however it is also smart and very interesting.
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Comment number 39.
At 22:16 7th May 2011, ewen griffn wrote:Hanna*
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Comment number 40.
At 23:21 7th May 2011, Whitchfinder wrote:A lot of good suggestions here. I'd also like to see the re-introduction of short films before the main feature. I'd probably go for something like the gorgeous Alma, before opening with Pan's Labyrinth or something weird but loveable like Night Of The Comet.
Uncertain Regard - Mr Nobody.
Director's Fortnight - John Carpenter (throw The Thing in there as it is vaguely topical due to the forthcoming re-remake)
Appalling Blockbuster - Anything starring Shia Labeouf.
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Comment number 41.
At 08:54 8th May 2011, Natxo wrote:Mark,
You are going to miss Pedro Almovodar´s new movie.
Are you planning to watch in another other place?
When?
Do you care?
Regards
Natxo
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Comment number 42.
At 11:04 8th May 2011, Sage Graine wrote:Dr K! - You're NOT going to Cannes this year?!! - gutted!
Was really looking forward to your critique on Keith Allen's conspiracy doc about the death of Lady Diana, 'An Unlawful Killing'....or have you been forbidden to discuss by the powers that be?
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Comment number 43.
At 12:09 8th May 2011, Will Chadwick wrote:Oh yeah, I was so excited I COULDN'T go to Cannes this year. I mean who cares all I'm missing are new movies from Terrence Malick, Pedro Almodovar, Lynne Ramsay, Lars von Trier, Nicolas Winding Refn, The Dardennes and Takashi Miike. I mean who in their right mind would want to go to a film festival like that?
Tsk.
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Comment number 44.
At 14:31 8th May 2011, Davescunningplan wrote:Well good to hear austerity measures are saving up my licence fee for something else. Jam tomorrow huh?
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Comment number 45.
At 23:08 8th May 2011, rampagingbuffoon wrote:Water For Elephants is on at all major cinemas, i don't think you've reviewed that yet and from what i hear it isn't terrible.
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Comment number 46.
At 00:05 9th May 2011, I_am_I wrote:Back in 2008 when Mark was in Cannes reviewing Indy4 (which I've subsequently seen and agree with him that it is neither good nor bad, just very, very bland) it was the first time I got an email read out live on air on the show. And I've had plenty more read out since. No one has beaten me!
As for the films...bleh, who cares?
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Comment number 47.
At 15:44 9th May 2011, Mega wrote:Hyde Park Picture House in Leeds;
21 May - Soylent Green
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Comment number 48.
At 18:18 9th May 2011, Edward Lauder wrote:Just thought that for a rubbish blockbuster movie we could screen either Transformers 3 or Pirates 4. Other films that could be screened are Submarine, Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, Source Code and a movie that I love Léon.
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Comment number 49.
At 18:23 9th May 2011, singerisland wrote:Here's a curved ball.. Will Mark Kermode be missed in Cannes ?
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Comment number 50.
At 18:58 9th May 2011, Huseyin wrote:I recently attended Dead by Dawn at the Edinburgh Filmhouse and saw a few genuinely terrific, independently spirited horror flicks from a round the world. Stand outs for me included Los Ojos De Julia, Stake Land, screenings of both Carrie and Dead Ringers. the new Sion Sono movie Cold Fish and the frankly barking YellowBrickRoad. The real highlight for me, however, was the late-night screening of Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Beat THAT, Cannes.
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Comment number 51.
At 19:02 9th May 2011, sammysamsamsam wrote:You're in luck, the next in your beloved Pirates franchise is opening next week.
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Comment number 52.
At 19:24 9th May 2011, AGirlNamedEvangeline wrote:Hey, if you can make it to the Fantastic Films Weekend in Bradford: https://www.nationalmediamuseum.org.uk/nmem/fantastic/2011/ you’ll be in Hammer heaven as they are celebrating and showing the best of the Hammer and Amicus horror films to coincide with the centenary of Vincent Price. I'm sure that could count as an Uncertain Regard?
And for the Terrible Blockbuster Beast: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides 3D at the IMAX at the National Media Museum...you're going to need a strong constitution to get through that one!
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Comment number 53.
At 19:38 9th May 2011, Stringer Bell wrote:Sorry to hear you won't be at Cannes Dr K. - I couldn't really care about the festival itself; any decent films showing there I will hear about anyway, it's purely a schadenfreude thing, you're at your best when you're annoyed haha! ;) Couldn't you have at least accepted the ticket and given it away to a viewer (me)?
Still, this festival will be much better, I'm sure. With one or two exceptions, the only film my local cinema (Hyde Park Picture House, Leeds) seems to want to screen at the moment is Hanna, which I have yet to see.
For "Le Film Qui Est Pretty Good", I would choose Un Prophete.
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Comment number 54.
At 19:54 9th May 2011, Pandora3 wrote:Hello Mark,
Great idea, but I have to say that I think some super films have come out of Cannes over the years. The Oscars on the other hand would be worthy of ridicule.
I would most certainly include 'How I Ended this Summer', along with 'Benda Balili', and for the Hollywood one it has to be 'Thor'.
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Comment number 55.
At 19:55 9th May 2011, Jonathan Taylor wrote:I highly recommend "Rubber". Any film about a car tyre that is a Serial Killer is alright with me.
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Comment number 56.
At 20:18 9th May 2011, eeb390 wrote:How about short films, a lot of them don't get showcased but two I've enjoyed recently are "Ugly and in Love" and "Blinkey".
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Comment number 57.
At 20:21 9th May 2011, Chrisski77 wrote:Hi Mark,
first post...there is a digital festival happening in Manchester from Wednesday-Sunday and there are a couple if events that I'm going to watch:
Rob da Bank performing a live score to King Kong and 65daysofstatic performing a live score to Silent Running
Here's the festival website:
https://futureeverything.org/
Should be fun and sure beats Cannes!
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Comment number 58.
At 20:43 9th May 2011, Tim Woodall wrote:Surely there has to be something derivatively funny for the Short Film programme... and so I present to you all... Martin Freeman & Julian Barratt in "HIV: The Musical".........................
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2hKn1t2SwQ
It's got nothing to do with the fact that I made it. Honestly. I'm too modest for that............
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Comment number 59.
At 21:36 9th May 2011, dbc54321 wrote:For the Big Opening Movie I suggest "The Day of the Jackal", one of my favourite films and one that holds my attention from start to finish.
For Un Certain Regard I suggest "Catfish", an unusual drama/documentary about Facebook.
For Director's Fortnight: "Apocalypse Now Redux". I never tire of watching this astonishing masterpiece by Francis Ford Coppola. Nothing demonstrates the the dedication and willpower of a director more than this.
And finally for the Appalling Hollywood Blockbuster what else but "Thor". What a great, multinational cast: Anthony Hopkins, Renee Russo, Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, Idris Elba, Kat Dennings and the new gay icon, Chris Hemsworth, who should have been in "300". All of them completely wasted on an awful script, a transparent plot, plodding direction and mountains of tacky, obvious CGI. It all adds up to one of the worst movies I've ever seen but so bad it's good.
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At 21:57 9th May 2011, rellik_55 wrote:Surely the biggest thing going on this month is Cine-Excess V in London. Especially since it has the world premiere of the new edit of Cannibal Holocaust.
It also has a discussion about censorship called 'Censorship on the Edge of the Park: Ruggero Deodato Meets the BBFC'. Seems like this conference is right up the Doctor's alley!
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Comment number 61.
At 22:43 9th May 2011, mcqdave wrote:So, if I understand you correctly. We are to go and see lots of films that we think you may like and then tell you about them.
Erm, hang on!!!
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Comment number 62.
At 22:44 9th May 2011, Damien wrote:I am the director of an animated science fiction film that was recently screened in Bath.
The whole film was directed and animated by myself, using a single computer, with the goal of telling a story you would normally need a big budget to tell ($300 million for Avatar? This was made for less than £300). I was fortunate enough to enlist a very talented cast of voice actors, including Felicia Day, best known for The Guild and Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
"Set in the year 2340, The Chronicles of Humanity follows Katherine McDonald, journalist and the only person to survive the destruction of a mining colony. Convinced the government was behind the disaster, she embarks on a mission to uncover the conspiracy."
While the film is no longer being screened in Bath, I have broken it up into episodes and am in the process of releasing them online: https://chroniclesofhumanity.com/
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Comment number 63.
At 22:48 9th May 2011, brad-dourifs-eternal-minion wrote:Hello Mark,
Long time fan, first time contacting (boy, how cliche is that?)
My local am-dram theatre, The Herne Bay Little Theatre, weekly converts its stage into a digitally projected cinema. last week we played Born Free, but over the next two weeks (covering Cannes 11-22 May) we will be playing:
The Red Shoes - May 13th - THE BIG OPENING!
Breakfast at Tiffany's - May 20th - UN CERTAIN REGARD
For the DIRECTOR'S FORTNIGHT we have quite a special fortnight planned.
Kicking off with: The African Queen - May 20th as well, and ending the month of films at the Herne Bay Little Theatre.
But it doesn't stop there, because me and some buddies, who all pledge a legion to the Bible according to Brad Dourif. So the rest of the fortnight are films played at my local university in screening rooms (or wherever we can book space).
The Gardener's Son - A two-hour TV special which was featured on a series called "Visions" which ran in the US on CBS. A bit like "Play for Today in the UK". It stars Brad Dourif (of course) and features a script written by Cormac McCarthy. It was played at the Berlin and Edinburgh Film Festival in 1976
Horseplayer - Again, another Brad Dourif film. A low budget, if odd film, about a young man addicted to betting on horses... who isn't as he seems.
Wise Blood - John Huston's off-beat black comedy, features Dourif's finest performance.
Istanbul - A forgotten film from Dourif, but features some fine acting nonetheless. About a fugitive, who is also a sex offender, trying to make his way to Istanbul.
MIDNIGHT SCREENING:
Felicia's Journey - Also being played at my uni. Atom Egoyan directs and Bob Hoskins stars. Great, disturbing movie.
SHAMELESS BLOCKBUSTER:
Hmmmm, probably try and see Thor again. My 2D glasses have arrived from Amazon!
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Comment number 64.
At 22:55 9th May 2011, brad-dourifs-eternal-minion wrote:Please excuse the horrible grammar in my last post. I was typing very fast and didn't make revisions.
Again, excuse me.
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Comment number 65.
At 23:02 9th May 2011, Alistair Mudie wrote:I think for way out cinematography which is always a comfort to watch it has got to be 2001 a space odyssey and for sheer Japanese loveliness Howls moving castle is a winner winner chicken dinner...
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Comment number 66.
At 23:14 9th May 2011, Akadan75 wrote:Un Certain Regard?
Why watch films people have seen so many times already if you want be truly exclusive?
Watch my weird wee movie instead, 'POVR'.
https://www.vimeo.com/20183132
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Comment number 67.
At 23:49 9th May 2011, StephenAJ wrote:@Vincent Kane Won't be missing that then. Thanks!
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Comment number 68.
At 00:04 10th May 2011, willip wrote:Dear Dr Kermode,
In the past you may have come across some posts of mine concerning 3D, this is not one of them!!!!
I have just come back to the UK from Oberhausen/ Germany, where the 57. KURZFILMTAGE has taken place. I would like to tell you that I have watched a film by a close relative yesterday that completely threw me and will do the same to you once you have seen it.
It is "Die Finanzen des Grossherzogs Radikant Film" by a young German director called Maximilian Linz. This 33 minute short, is a tragic analysis of what Cinema and Television in Europe has come to be to date. Google him, contact him and show his film. It would not only be a grate testament to what this FILM community is able to do, but also to the ambitions of the young film makers out there today whose films need to be watched and shown. If you do not want to put on a gig like the guys in Cannes, Berlin, L.A. and Venice, play films that are worth showing.
P.S.
The film contains sub-titles
Regards,
Philipp
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Comment number 69.
At 01:10 10th May 2011, fandango87 wrote:Sorry to ruin the buzz, but I'd rather be at Cannes seeing new films for the first time before any of the general public! Although nothing beats seeing a film on the big screen, why have a festival of films that are already available to us? When surely any cinema fan would want to as soon as possible see the new film by Malick, Von Trier (love it or hate it, it's always 'something'), Almodovar, Lynne Ramsay, Nic Winding Refn.... the list goes on. I'm sure the whole thing is a media frenzy but why would anyone want to wait to see these movies!
Plus I remember one of the first Cannes blogs from 2008 stating about the sleezey low budget horror movies on promotion which you got very excited about Mark. That may be something you might miss at least.
Either way you should consider yourself lucky you can get to see these films earlier than the public... despite the fact it's a media jungle!
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Comment number 70.
At 01:30 10th May 2011, Sam wrote:Well I have just starred in a local short film. Fantastically shot, fantastic complex but accesible plot, and fantastically acted. It's called 'Mental'. The title is still under consideration. It's still in post-production. Everything off screen is done by a fantastic guy called Daniel Hughes. It's shot and acted by 16-17 year olds. It is going to be submitted into tens of tens of festivals. It's got a good chance of getting into EIFF.
If any of you know any publicity that we could get, it would be great.
If you want/need anymore information please contact me (Sam Donaghey) [email protected]. Or Daniel Hughes [email protected]
Sam Donaghey
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Comment number 71.
At 02:48 10th May 2011, GENEPOOL wrote:How about some Monster Movies.
Films like Godzilla (Japanese Godzilla Films), Gamera, The Host and Cloverfield.
You could do a Ray Harryhausen Film Festival.
GENEPOOL
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Comment number 72.
At 03:04 10th May 2011, Joseph Bridges wrote:A poor man's Canne in Dayton, Ohio USA:
Opening Film-The Conspiritor at the Little Art Theatre
Un Certain Regard-Of Gods and Men at the Neon
Directors Fortnight-13 Assassins on Video-On-Demand
Appalling Blockbuster-Pirates of the Carribbean 4
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Comment number 73.
At 09:07 10th May 2011, Digital Spirit wrote:The Edge Of Dreaming
https://www.edgeofdreaming.co.uk/
documentary
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Comment number 74.
At 11:28 10th May 2011, fgb wrote:Glasgow Film Theatre. 13 Assasins from 13th-22nd May.
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Comment number 75.
At 14:00 10th May 2011, stephenw99 wrote:I'm looking forward to the JAM film festival. Whilst it would be great to have this during Cannes, sadly its not happening until the end of Summer. A mixture of new and old, contemporary and modern films with some true movie guest talking about the art form and not just in a michael bay " i love transformers 2 but now you all have seen it i knew it was steaming pile of ..." way.
And why not have a special movie themed Skiffle Concert to open and close the event. I'm telling you its the way of the future!! www.justaboutmovies.co.uk i've booked and have my tent / campervan packed....
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At 14:34 10th May 2011, Auntie Di wrote:drawing on my local listings:
open with:
My Dog Tulip- it might be great, and there's the Lynn Redgrave link to ensure support (showing at derby quad)
un certain regard:
Attack the Block - which sounds daft
and
Round Ireland with a fridge - another literary translation to film!
director's cut:
we've got apocolypse now and hearts of darkness available- run them as a double bill
blockbuster:
if you want one that's running now- Thor- however this might self disqualify by being too amusing
if you want the biggest blockbuster of the year- it has to be HP 7b
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At 15:20 10th May 2011, Tobes wrote:A retrospective of some underappreciated directors could be in order - what about featuring Takeshi Kitano, Atom Egoyan, Denys Arcand, Clare Denis, or Agnes Varda for starters? Or how about celebrating an author whose work appears regularly on the silver screen? Jane Austen is an obvious choice, along with Conrad and Dickens, but to bring things up to date, Phillip K Dick has, according to my sometimes faulty memory, at least four films (Blade Runner, Minority Report, A Scanner Darkly, and The Adjustment Bureau) to his name... Anyone else?
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At 16:01 10th May 2011, Martin T wrote:Skeletons needs to be shoe horned in somewhere, really enjoyed that film. Great cast including the amazing Tuppence Middleton.
Also everyone will be able to shout "Hello Jason Isaacs!" during the screening.
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At 16:36 10th May 2011, emsh8944 wrote:surely the big blockbuster has to be pirates 4 after telling them to stop making it for so long
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At 16:37 10th May 2011, Simon Willmetts wrote:Don't know if this would qualify, but I just got back from a great weekend of spy-film viewing at the Riverside Studio from both East and West of the Iron Curtain:
https://www.goethe.de/ins/gb/lp/prj/cel/enindex.htm
Popescu-Gopo's "A Bomb Was Stolen" was probably my favourite of the lineup, although it's hard to beat Richard Burton's performance in "A Spy Who Came in From the Cold".
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At 16:42 10th May 2011, phillip wrote:With the two hours show on Fivelive and Mark passed over for Film 2010 it feels like he is dissapearing up his own backside, aonce great film show now just Mark wanting to hear the sound of his own voice (and not move to Manchester). By not going to Cannes he thinks he is bigger than the industry and letting his ego get the better of him. Cannes is the market place for his industry and so he should get on the plane and lap it up. AfFter all the BBC are paying...
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At 17:04 10th May 2011, BrightonDan67 wrote:I have come accross a new website for downloading independent film, Jump Start Distributions. They seem quite new as they are gradually putting new short films and feature films on there by independent film makers. In particular the trailer for Ulysses Road looks very interesting.
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At 17:49 10th May 2011, erky23 wrote:I recently attended the Belfast Film Festival, and the stand-out shows for me were two glorious shows - 'Simple Simon' about a boy with Asperger's syndrome and 'Sound of Noise' about a group of artistic renegades who sabotage public places to create musical scores.
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At 18:21 10th May 2011, billycrocker wrote:My local Cinema The Rex Berkhamsted is screening
these beauties in May
Morris:A Life With Bells On
Diamonds Are Forever
The Railway Children
Oranges & Sunshine
Conversations With My Gardener
What a dream to be in Hertfordshire rather than Cannes!
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Comment number 85.
At 18:40 10th May 2011, Barders1 wrote:And to add to billycrockers list of coming attractions at The Rex,
The Last Picture Show
a genuine American classic! The Rex is a veritable box of delights.
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Comment number 86.
At 22:11 10th May 2011, waerdnotte wrote:Exeter's icture house is showing a few interesting films this month that could fit the bill
Grand Opening: 13 Assassins - Takashi Miike's Modern Classic.
Un Certain Regard: Life Above All - uncompromisingly grim
Documentary: Armadillo or maybe Vidal Sassoon: The Movie - polar opposites.
Directors' Fortnight: Apocalypse Now! - Coppola's masterpiece
Midnight Screening: The Tingler, starring Vincent Price (his 100th birthday celebration)
Blockbuster: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stanger Tides - Mermaids, Zombies and Keith Richards. What more could you ask for?
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Comment number 87.
At 08:05 11th May 2011, TheConciseStatement wrote:Yeah, you're smiling now (The Good) Doctor but not for long.
First stop : Not going to Cannes.
Second stop : Streamlining BBC online means bye bye blog.
Last stop : The Trust orders 5 Live to fulfil its 75% news remit and axes your review slot.
Consider it the Three Degrees of Separation.
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Comment number 88.
At 18:03 11th May 2011, ELIJAH JOON author wrote:Un Certain Regard: HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN
Hollywood Blockbuster: FAST FIVE, aka FAST & FURIOUS 5: RIO HEIST
On a related note, I got 2 actors from the movie to praise my writing. Check it out on my blog, Dr. K.
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Comment number 89.
At 21:01 11th May 2011, Sally Semple wrote:I just caught the end of the Uist Ecofilm festival but Wasteland (dir Lucy Walker) was outstanding and Culla Bay beats the Croisette hands down.
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At 07:32 12th May 2011, Simon Marlow wrote:Wim Wender's Pina (in 2D) is playing at Poole Lighthouse from May 13.
I've never seen it..may be a wee bit pretentious going by the trailer.. but is clearly a film "Of Certain Regard" ..in my opinion!
Mark, you are a god who walks among us.. Pick up the People, Pick up the Power.
No one requires "permission" to make a movie these days.. just do it.
Let's dismantle Hollywood and re-assemble it as our own beautiful and bizarre creation! I just posted a piece about your project on my own blog.. Viva La Revolution.
Love
Simon Marlow
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At 07:58 12th May 2011, Simon Marlow wrote:Big Opening Film...
Attack The Block!
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Comment number 92.
At 17:48 12th May 2011, MiaS_7 wrote:A documentary called Catfish was on telly a couple of weeks ago, and I found it compelling and incredibly interesting. It should definitely be included! Showed the downside of social networking in a very twisted way, but also with some humour too. It scared my 15 year old sister enough to vow never to go on Facebook again... but that only lasted a couple of hours!
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At 18:57 12th May 2011, T-boneIII wrote:I was lucky enough to get invited by a friend to a screening of Eliminate Archie Cookson a few weeks ago in Bristol. It's a great film about a spy going through the motions at an unsatisfactory desk job before he stumbles across some incriminating tape recordings. From that moment on everyone is out to kill him whilst he does his best to patch things up with his estranged wife and child. It had me laughing all the way through and still tickles me two weeks after seeing it.
Add it to your list Mark and keep up the good work!
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Comment number 94.
At 07:33 17th May 2011, aidan wrote:You might want to include an Australian indie film called Snowtown
https://www.snowtownthemovie.com/
Described by one Australian reviewer as "the most frightening Australian film ever made"
https://blogs.crikey.com.au/cinetology/2011/05/17/snowtown-movie-review-devastatingly-brilliant/
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At 11:14 19th May 2011, Greg Andrew wrote:Just saw My Dog Tulip at the GFT. Simply, brilliantly lovely. How can you not like this film and choose to be shown at the alt Canne
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Comment number 96.
At 14:13 19th May 2011, Tim Maddison wrote:I loved Holly Lubbock's documentary 'Fezeka's Voice', a beautifully nuanced and inspiring piece of work. A committed and purposeful work, but in no sense 'worthy'. I saw it once and loved it, saw it a second time and got even more out of it, which doesn't happen every day. It underlines how some of the best film work, here and elsewhere, is being done in the documentary field.
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At 21:26 21st May 2011, Returningthrice wrote:Thanks to Bill Cumming for "INK" recommendation. Would have missed it from the cover. Nothing like Inception as the blurb has it but a film with heart and soul, and I loved the bones of it as I did and do of:
Far North
Monsters
Moon
Curse of the Golden Flower
Winter's Bone
The Road
Guilt
The Island (Ostrov)
Japanese Story
etc.
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