Simultaneous release would be great, provided cinema ticket prices came down. Obviously, we mustn't make the big screen experience look too unattractive!



I'm a big believer in the social power of the cinema - humans naturally enjoy a shared experience, we love that connection to other people. That's why we want our favourite books/films/music to find wider audiences, for shared appreciation (even if we later resent them going 'mainstream'!)



In the cinema (or a stage theatre) itself, a comic moment can seem all the more worthwhile when you're laughing along with hundreds of other people. Watching a banshee soar above the forests of Pandora is made further satisfying by the knowledge that hundreds of others are enjoying the same thrill you are - that you're not alone (which many of us ultimately fear being).



That's why, for me, a headphone socket in each chair would seem backwards, anti-social and plain miserable. A better (albeit more idealistic) solution would be to re-educate the masses too ignorant to behave themselves. Ushers are a prime example of such a system. But in the big multiplexes, would the prices of popcorn, nachos and other Dr.K favourites have to be hiked up even more to fund the salaries of extra employees?



We need a cinema chain head brave enough to re-evaluate and revolutionise the entire cinema ecosystem.

Can't say I'm keen on multiple blog responses in one go, Doc. Many worthy comments go un-quoted.

I Must admit I am an occasional nacho eater in the cinema, But I think its ok eating such noisy foods when watching certain types of movies.



For example, a few months back I went to watch Unstoppable, which is just a mind numbing action movie and Just munching away was fine, couldn't even hear the munching, and if you could I don't think people would care much.



However recently I went to watch the Kings speech and I did feel a tad uncomfortable eating nachos, so much so I actually paused my eating during the quiet dialogue scenes with nachos still in my mouth. Although I don't think It was quite as bad as the gentleman in the back snoring through the movie, now thats embarrassing.



My point is fun and silly movies I thinks its fine, more serious movies, not such a good idea

I'm sure that simultaneous release would make life easier for pirates, but I think there are far more people who would prefer to pay for a film in their choice of format, if that was an option.



For the big movie makers I can see why simultaneous release would be unpopular. As is, people pay £10 to see their film at the cinema, then pay another £20 for the dvd 6 months later - if both were made available at the same time then I think there would be a danger that people would stop going to the cinema. Personally I like the experience, but I think the price difference would be make it a no-brainer for a lot of people. For this reason, and because I think distributors are generally set in their ways, I can't see them changing any time soon.



For smaller productions, on the other hand, I think it's a great idea. They have less money to market their films and could benefit from promoting the dvd and cinema tickets at the same time. Due to a lack of showings, it is often impossible for people to see independent films at the cinema without travelling some distance, and simultaneous release would allow anyone with an internet connection to see any film they like.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

@samo_ak47

I have a horrible image of Colin Firth taking the mic in the Kings Speech and your cinema sounding something like:



"I have received..."

*CRUNCH*

"a...a...."

*CRUNCH*

"ah.....ah...."

*CRUNCH*



Poor guy. No wonder he couldn't speak fluently with someone eating a mouthful of nachos.



I made the point on digital projection because the distribution costs of prints is huge and can add astronomical amounts to a films cost, as well as leaving its exposure in the balance of a larger, parent company. For smaller films this means fighting in an increasingly competitive market to secure a distribution deal. I'm sure many good films just disappear because no one would take a risk on them.

With digital distribution the control would lay much more in the hands of the producers of the film and costs would drop. This may lead to cheaper cinema tickets and then - perhaps - less illegal pirating because people could afford to go to the cinema again.



However I'm no distributor/film maker/economist/expert on anything so I don't know the specific details of distribution. However I think this is something that should be considered. If anyone knows and pros and cons to digital distribution (and sadly being nostalgic for celluloid doesn't quite make a good enough argument) then I'd love to hear some thoughts.

@BillPaxtonsSecondBiggestFan To be honest it was always my girlfriend who fancied getting nachos so it seems to have evolved into a habbit of mine too when going to the cinema. I will try to resist the temptation for nachos!



On the point about having headphones sockets in a cinema. Come on! This is totally a ridiculous idea and if they were implemented and used then there is very little point in going to the cinema. I believe the picture and audio work 50/50 and both are extremely important to experience a movie. The cinema is one of the only places you can truly experience a movie in how the director wants you to experience their movie aurally and visually. Having cheapy headphones will totally destroy the movie and I would be disgusted to see people actually using them in a cinema if they were to ever come about.



Movie piracy, now thats a tricky one. If they want to destroy it they need to make the movies accessible and as easy to download the movies legitimately as it is to download them illegally. A system where the Internet service provider and the movie companies can work together would be better, where the user can download movies straight away form legit sources without having to login, enter information yada yada yada and just get a bill at the end of the month for the movies downloaded. But the truth is the internet just makes it too easy for piracy and there is no real way to enforce it online effectively. Just have to wait for web 3.0 for that!

mmm , Nachos !

Glad to see The Quiff is back in full effect, Mark - it's been depressingly flat in recent outings. And it makes me reminisce about my own, which I lost to baldness in the late 1990s.

Hello,



I started to reply to your piracy blog, but got side tracked so I am going to include my thoughts about that within this reply.



Firstly, talking in cinemas, and cinema etiquette. This for me ties in a way to piracy, at least in part. I don't do Friday, Saturday night cinema any more. With the lower rated films you get kids who take the experience of cinema watching to be a social gathering with mates. Chatting, texting and generally annoying anyone over 30. (I understand there will be people under 30 who get just as annoyed!)



The nacho cheese is evil, but can not be destroyed because it is not a known substance.



Cinema viewing has evolved for the generations and for some reason the current generation of cinema viewers don't get it's about the film. Maybe it's to do with films I go to see.



This ties to piracy. I agree with piracy. I said it, it's out there. Here is why.



Standards in the 21st Century.



As a kid I would only go to the cinema as a irregular treat to watch a Disney animation. It usually involved cousins, aunts and uncles and was a real family trip out. This from when the film stopped half way and people sold ice cream. (I am 32)



Maybe Disney of the years gone by, (but Pixar carry the torch) had a higher standard for film making.



I think that we are sold the summer Blockbuster and in recent years I have not been able to afford to go to the cinema as I did as a student (every night, no mater what the film). I now pay my £7.50 to watch the film that demands the cinema experience.



I remember seeing Lord of the Rings 1 and 2 (still not watched 3 I just can't) and then King Kong. I did not enjoy any of them.



Now I know many people disagree with me on those, so to a more recent film in Skyline. That was a dreadful film.



To piracy. With people being able to download a film (and you said that at the people can't get anything more than a cam version straight away......depends on where you look) when it is in the cinema, gives them the choice to want to pay to see it on the big screen.



If I see a dodgy version of a film I think is great, I will buy the Blu-Ray and go to the cinema (even if it is on Orange Wednesday). I will invest in cinema and what people put out if it's good.



Recently films are not as good as they used to be. Atleast in the main stream. There are still great films out there. I loved the quirky film "Fan Boys" and I am not a huge Star Wars fan. The Blind Side with Sandra Bullock, incredible film. The Fighter was also a superb film. I even enjoyed the Mechanic.



I think studios should put the films out for free online straight away. Maybe stream them at lower bit rates. In this day and age many people can do that straight to the TV set anyway. With the fact Love film video rentals can be streamed to a Playstation console, it could be made more global I am sure.



With this model the only medium that loses out is Pay-Per-View.



I spend more money if I know the film is worth my time and cash.

Making this tie back to the begin, the main reason I don't go to the cinema these days is the atmosphere of chavs, kids and people not out to watch a film.



Headphones won't work as it takes away from the sound of a cinema experience. Feeling the bass, and cars fly around behind you.



I would love to be able to afford to go to the cinema like I did when I was 18, but at the present state of cinema, I am not sure I would.



Piracy isn't killing cinema, the audience is.

my regular cinema of the last five or six years is a small 'arthouse cinema' - it's not a multiplex, and it happens to be at the same venue where i saw mr.kermode on his tour last year - where they frequently show films in languages other than english, the kinds of films given small reviews in major magazines and larger reviews in big newspapers. it also happens to be staffed by students, apparently prone to receiving what i've heard describe as "lots of complaints", and has inherited behaviour from both staff and customers that reminds me of what i left the multiplex in order to escape. also of interest in the sign right outside the door that both warns customers that other people find the consumption of food and drink during films distracting, but also points to the restaurant / cafe / crisp n drink seller right bang next door. this is probably why i've experienced, to name but a few, the opening and retrieval of boiled sweets, cans phfissss-ing, conversations, explanations, drunken anti-social behaviour and a whole load of other stuff - the guy that takes the buscuit is the idiot who brought a multipack of hula hoops to benjamin button and took the whole film trying to consume them whilst trying to persuade himself that the guy behind him didn't have a decent request to make when he was constantly told to stop eating them. it's either him, or the two guys constantly fiddling on their phones during, irony of all ironies, the social network.

I'm lovin my nachos while watching this blog.



Mmmmm cheese :)

I have to strongly disagree with the headphones idea. On a technical level, I agree with samo_ask47, a top-end sound system is part of the point of the cinema experience. It's as important as the print, projection, and screen. Hearing sound through good speakers in a proper space is a different experience to hearing it on headphones, and most soundtracks are mixed with cinema conditions in mind. What's more, you think 3D glasses are enough of a pain? Try wearing a pair of cheap over-ear headphone for two hours and see how your ears feel.



On a social level, I think it would provide even more of an excuse for people to be noisy in the cinema. The last thing we need is for people to be able to say 'well if you don't like it you can always put your headphones on'.

I someone is talking to loud or generally acting like a berk in the cinema I always complain! I think everyone who goes to my local cinema will do this, this is why I have seen idiots getting kicked out.

As a teacher I have to say if someone is not told what they are doing is wrong they will never know (maybe we should have your rules up in the foyer?). If there are no consequences why would people bother to change their actions? The management should ban repeat offenders, they are probably the same people getting nacho "cheese" on the seats resulting in cleaning issues so it wouldn't be a loss.

Or maybe they could have quiet screens for normal people (on weekends) and then the load idiots could go watch Transformers 87 whilst being as loud as they liked!

The student's comment in the vid about his excuse for piracy is appaulling. I hear that excuse all the time. I could easily say, "Well I steal cars, because as a student, I can't afford the cars I want to drive." If you can't afford them then tough. To think you have a right to watch movies for free because you can't afford them is ridiculous.



When it comes to simultaneous releases, I think there are more pros then cons. Unfortunatly, as someone mentioned in the video, those who continue to pirate will get lovely blu-ray copies. However, I have a friend who illegally downloads new releases. He hates the cinema experience and loves to watch films by himself, in peace and quiet, in the comfort of his own home. He's also a movie buff who likes to keep up to date with the movie world, but of course the current system doesn't allow him to do so in the comfort of his own home... WHY!! He says that if he could watch new releases in his home he would, and I believe him because he has a monthly subscrption to LoveFilm.



If you think that simultaneous releases would increase piracy, keep in mind that the vast majority of the general public don't know how to pirate a film. Basically I agree with Mark completely.

I'm also not fond of the headphone idea, I have to say. Not for the cinema. I love watching movies with headphones (in-ear ones) on my laptop but the cinema is meant to be a different experience.

How lovely that the good Dr's voice is returning slowly, but surely. How can we have a Kermodian rant otherwise?



Thankfully my local cinemas, 1 indie, 2 multiplexes don't have nachos with liquid plastic cheese on the menu. Could be it's a cultural thing.



As for headphone jacks in the armrests? It will never happen. I for one, enjoy the big screen with it's accompanying big sound. It is, has been said, a social event. It's good to share the humour and/or pathos with other human beings.



I'd rather see fewer good quality movies and pay for the privelege (40 people max in the cinema) at $50 a pop than to be crammed in together to watch a brainless blockbuster with the cinema-going uncouth masses who have no manners. Or just buy the DVD on blu-ray which I just adore once it becomes available.

The guy who complained about cleaning up nachos, frankly, has nothing on me. Back in the 1980's I ushed at a cinema with a weekly midnight show of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Despite the theatre's policy of a mild, but probably illegal, search of patrons entering, more often than not the interactive props usually got through. Cleaning the deadly combination of wet newspaper, rice, and loo roll added to the normal cinematic gunge of spilled soda, popcorn and gum, was a herculean task. On one occasion, we gave up at 5AM leaving the remainder for the daytime staff. Nachos? Bah! That's why it's called a job, and they have to pay you to do it. (I'll be retiring to my cardboard box in a hole in the road in Yorkshire....)

Re piracy: Regardless of whether the film studios like it or choose to accept it we now live in a high speed internet age where a lot of people want to see the latest films immediately & want to see them for free. No amount of moral indignation & guff about 'would you steal a car?' will change that.



Personally if I'm interested in watching a new movie I will first try and find it on a streaming site. In the event I can't find what I'm looking for I will download it but merely to watch and then delete. I have no interest in burning films to disc, if I want a physical copy I will buy it when it is released on a legit DVD.



The only way film studios will counter piracy of the latest releases and collect some sort of revenue stream would be to simultaneously stream a lower quality copy of the movie with adverts online - an idea that doubtless will be completely unpalatable to the studios, but realistically the only way to kill off piracy other than to un-invent the internet.

I totally disagree with the use of headphones. Unless I'm much mistaken films are now mostly in 5:1 or even 7:1 sound so unless 6 or 8 ears suddenly appear on my head through the joys of rapid evolution then it would be impossible to enjoy the film in its full sonic richness.

Whatever you do, I don't think it'll ever be possible to totally eradicate piracy, although there may be ways of minimising it.



In terms of code of conduct: I go to my local Odeon or Arthouse, if which I'm a member, about lunchtime when it is relatively quiet to minimise contact with these, euphemistically writing, annoying idiots.

Woohoo, just returned to Ireland from Korea and experienced a minor quote-gasm to ease the jetlag.

Yay! A mention - and it was the "...and finally" one as well :-) That'll be my quota for a long time methinks...



@ Brian re:18 - Well, I guess you win at the "who had the worst cleaning up job at the cinema" p**sing contest in this case but I don't think it detracts from my point. I know it was a job (not a very well paid one, but a job nonetheless) but you could argue that if the audience were slightly more conscientious, by taking their litter away with them instead of abandoning it on the floor a) it would have been easier and b) I would have had more time to devote to other duties, like monitoring screens for example.



It wasn't actually a terrible job per se - perfect for students and young people I'd say (although I was post-student by then). The only thing majorly bad thing about it was probably the lack of decent films showing, but I could always go to the GFT for that.



I swear the liquid cheese was radioactive - it was horrid stuff if you ask me (this coming from a person who likes popcorn).

Why can't we (UK) have something like Netflix? Yes, the ISPs would moan but I really think it is the future.

Dear Mark,



This isn't particularly relevant to the blog because I just wanted to be able to post to you as it has long been an ambition of mine having fallen smitten with your radio show with Simon.



On the Cinema code of conduct, I have recently been fortunate enough to be able to go to my local "World Of Cine" during the day and watch films like "True Grit", "The Fighter", "The Adjustment Bureau", "Unknown", "The Lincoln Lawyer" and "Limitless" in virtually empty cinemas with the only viewers being silent OAPs, I'm not sure if many of them were actually alive or not but that was the least of my concerns. However back in december I went to see the latest Narnia, and it was ruined by talking, rustling, banging, kicking by the person behind me into the back of my chair and to top it all off a couple playing tonsil hockey in the seats next to me for the entire film. I now make it my aim to select films I want to see and go to the earliest screening in the day if I can so I can have the cinema to myself because it is frankly ridiculous what goes on in an almost full cinema. The screening of "King's Speech" I went to see was half full and was just about acceptable in terms of spectator noise.



The other peculiar thing I've noticed is the number of times people sit in the wrong seats when the box office has already stated you have to sit in YOUR sit. Hence there are bitter arguments and lots of noise as lots of people re-arranging themselves in the cinema. Seriously, if these people cannot manage to sit in the right seat they should not be allowed in the cinema, one for the code of conduct.



A question I have is do you think that any film released in this quarter of the year is released purely for the financial gain because there isn't a lot of competition and they are waiving their right to award nominations because of it? An addition to that is what films are you looking forward to as potential Oscar nominations for next year?



I also don't see the point in 3D really, in very small scenes in very few films it's good but the novelty wears off and films can be visually stunning in 2D if shot right.



Finally I just wanted to say I hope you and Simon can come up to Manchester for a show at some point quite soon as that would be cool if you had an audience up here.



Thanks for reading Mark



Ben(JoeMercer'sWay-Forum screename).

In my movie Pub Crawl I have a scene that discuses video piracy. So if you want to know what I think type pub crawl movie into google and watch it.



I watched 6 movies last week none of them 3D and didn't notice food noise or anything that bad in the 15 screen multiplex.



I wasn't that impressed with Suckerpunch which I think totally loses the plot. I lost track of what was supposed to be happening when to who and by the end didn't much care if the main character got a lobotomy or not.



Limitless and Source Code where much, better, except as a computer programmer I found source code completely unbelievable.

i have to totally agree with Doctor K. simultaneous muti platform release is the way forward. i used to love the cinema, until one day it became populated with people who have paid the best part of a tenner to catch up with their mates, with a movie acting as the backdrop to their social calender. if SMPR doesn't stop the pirates, we will at least be able to enjoy our movies when there released, without being left angry that these people have just robbed us of of both 10 quid AND our enjoyment of a new movie!!!

I'd love there to be ushers as people talking all through a film is just annoying as hell (although there are always going to be occasions where you want to mumble a few words to the person next to you--to quote a classic example a person behind me in a showing of Charlies Angels going "Is that Geroge McCfly?" actually made me smile rather than grimace) however the bottom line is, if they have to employ more staff the cost of the ticket will go up, now personally I think I'd be willing to pay that, but would the majority?

Re. Marks comment about his concerns over the loss of celluloid projection.

I was lucky enough to visit the projection room at the community cinema in Lymington, Hants and have the projectionist give me a guided tour (tour is stretching it a bit, it was one very small, very crowded room) of how the whole celluloid operation works.

It was a really interesting opportunity to have a look behind the scenes but I did get the sense that it is a dying art (The projector they were using was bought second hand from a cinema that had switched to digital).

The huge rolls of film, winding machine and film gates were great to see, certainly much more interesting than someone showing me the digital version.

I'm all for the increased quality that the digital experience brings but can't help but feel that the heart is being taken out of the cinema somewhere along the line.