Tiaras, tears and tantrums... and then throw in a wedding! EastEnders' nuptials are everything you'd expect from a marriage ceremony and more.
If you're lucky enough to be invited to one of Walford's finest days of the year, follow this advice:
- Keep the receipt from the present, as you may be taking it back.
- Don't arrive early - you could be kept waiting.
- Take plenty of tissues (for the bride and/groom).
- Expect a brawl... or two.
In 2009, we weren't disappointed! Here is the lowdown on which wedding had the biggest F-Factor (X-Factor? Nah. It's all about the F, innit.)
Dawn and Garry - sailing off into the sunset
Fashion: 6 Food: 0 (what food?) Fun: 4 Fisticuffs: 8 Finance: 4 Fatality: 5 (for forgiving the minx!)
Peggy and Archie - Get outta my pub!
As matriarchs go, Peggy is one (small) soft-hearted lady! A day after April Fool's and she gets hitched to manipulative Archie ('pity the fool'). But the day didn't go without a hitch (can you call a death a hitch?) It was D-Day for our fave landlady as she had to decide whether she should trust her niggling fears, or her cunning groom. The dress he chose for her made her itch just looking at it, but at least she had the guts to wear her own choice, even if she did tentatively walk up the aisle.
After their nuptials Danielle broke her seven-month silence to announce her revelation at the reception... 'Ronnie's my MUTHA!' It wasn't until she'd walked into a moving car that Peggy finally came round to see Archie for what he really was. Decision Day? More like Disaster Day.
Fashion: 6 Food: 6 (Beale catered, no one ate!?) Fun: 4 Fisticuffs: 6 Finance: 7 Fatality: 10 (death alert!)
Denise and Lucas - Bow tieing the knot
As Denise believes she's marrying into faith, love and trust (and a bed with her beloved), little does she know that the only faith Lucas has left is that he'll get away with MURDER. WAKE UP, Denise! Her nerves kicked in on the big day, which resulted in a good 'ol slap around the chops from Chelsea. It soon shut the bridezilla up. Meanwhile, Denise's preacher is strangling her ex with his bow tie and wrapping him up in carpet. What a waste of shagpile.
Unbeknown to Ricky (who'd have thought it!?), he lent his tie to the flustered fella and *cue organ* the bride and doom were hitched! As Denise's purple wedding dress lay on the floor... little did she know he was getting dirty and sweaty elswhere - burying her pesky ex under Trina's tree! Karma will surely come back to bite him on the bum.
Fashion: 7 Food: 7 Fun: 6 (Denise gets jiggy in the end) Fisticuffs: 5 Finance: 5 Fatality: 10 (death alert!)
Syed and Amira - Bhangra, beauty and biceps
The colourful and spectacular wedding of Syed and Amira was a whopper (mmmm... burger) of a wedding which climaxed on New Year's day. There were even fireworks in the form of Zainab and Christian's one-to-one. 11.6m of us were glued to our seats to see whether a.) Syed would admit all and run off with Christian, b.) Mr Biceps himself would announce his undying love at the ceremony, or c.) Zainab would shout, cry, hit out and stop the wedding... And we weren't far wrong!
Who knew that Syed could perform backflips? Who thought that he would trot around the Square like The Lone Ranger? Who enjoyed Lady in Red as it played for the couple's first dance? Who saw Tamwar get his first snogerooney? Who enjoyed the outcome? Is this the end of Chryed?! *Takes a breath*
Fashion: 10 (sparkletastic) Food: 10 Fun: 7 (drums and dancing... fab) Fisticuffs: 6 Finance: 10 Fatality: 6 (Zainab lamped big C, but my points go to a not so 'happily ever after'. Fatal).
Syed and Amira's ceremony topped my F-Factor scale and set it alight! A wedding that lasts for so long needs stamina, but it had the drama, dancing, fabulous grub and no one died (except a few hearts) *sob sob*.
