Watching Radio 4’s Keep Calman Carry On

After entering the random ticket ballot to be in the audience for Radio 4 comedy Keep Calman Carry On, our own Jen Macro was surprised and delighted to get a ticket. Here she describes the weird and wonderful world of radio comedy records and Susan Calman’s series in which she tries to learn how to unwind by immersing herself in pursuits that her friends find relaxing.

"Susan Calman looks forward to your company at Up The Creek on Wed 8 Nov for ‘Keep Calman Carry On’. Please remember photo ID. Enjoy the show!”

That was the text I received, reminding me I’d been successful in getting a ticket to the recording of a new Radio 4 show, written and performed by the Glaswegian comedian, Susan Calman – you know, the one off Strictly.

I hadn’t forgotten, the date stamped firmly in my diary.

Excited to see the diminutive Scot share her experiences of taking time out from the pressurised media spotlight, to find peace of mind through activities such as birdwatching and baking, I made my way across London on the DLR to Greenwich. Ready to join a queue of people, to make sure I got in to the evening’s entertainment, as I’d been warned: “As not everyone who asks for tickets uses them we send out more tickets than there are places. This means that admission is on a first come first served basis and is not guaranteed”

When I arrive the queue is already worryingly long, but I soon get my ticket validated, attaining my orange sticker from the lovely BBC Audience Service people. I nab a quick bit of food before heading back to the venue for ‘7pm at the latest’ to take my seat at the South London comedy club, in expectation for recording to begin.

By way of warming us up, Susan plies us with a few anecdotes from her other job on ‘some dancing show’. These include the perils of being sewn in to a costume, and how her dance this week ends with a passionate embrace with her partner Kevin Clifton – only he doesn’t know that yet. She goes on to inform the small audience that over 6,000 people applied to come to these recordings, and that somewhere in the vicinity of 4.8 million apply to be in the audience of Strictly each week… ‘just to watch me dance’ she says, tongue firmly in cheek.

Suffering from a chest infection and being run ragged by rehearsals for her upcoming tango, Susan apologises for coughing and asks the audience to switch off phones, as last night’s performance was interrupted by the chirping of telecoms interference on the mic.

Then it’s go. “Clap and cheer when I raise my arms”… and we’re in.

I’ve never been to a recording of a radio programme before, and the first thing that strikes me is, I don’t make any noise when I laugh… I chuckle, I shoulder-shrug, but I don’t guffaw or ROFL [roll on the floor laughing]. Oh no, my ticket has been wasted, what they need here are noisy laughers, that’s the point. Oh well – no going back now, I think, maybe I should relax and just let go a little, that is what the show is about after all.

Naively, I did think her guests, Selasi Gbotmittah (from Great British Bake Off) and comedian and writer Emma Kennedy, would be at the show with her. Instead, their voices were on pre-recorded clips played in to the show. It makes sense now and my momentary disappointment was allayed by watching Susan’s face as she silently reacted to the audio clips.

Watching, I’m slightly concerned that every now and then Susan says a sentence and then immediately says it again. It’s like a glitch in the matrix. I realise however, after the first couple of times, that she’s saving the editor time. She may have fluffed a word so is re-doing it in context so it’s easier to fix in the edit.

There are also a few retakes after both recordings, instigated by her producer Lyndsay Fenner. The banter between the pair is hilarious: “we’ve known each other a long time, it’s ok”. A question arises as to whether Selasi is “the nicest person to ever brulee a crème”, then Lyndsay points out, “shouldn’t that be to have ever bruleed a crème?” When the front rows nod approval at the grammatical correctness, Susan quips “Oh there’s definitely a Radio 4 audience in tonight!”

And it is quite lovely how the Radio 4 contingent of the audience mix with the Strictly Come Dancing lot. There must also be many like me, who consider themselves to be a member of both camps - this crossover mainly down to a shared admiration of the highly strung Glaswegian stood before us.

She is Susan Calman, she is funny, and charming. She is a woman of the people who wanted to go on Strictly Come Dancing to prove that “you don’t need to be stick thin and 25 to enjoy dancing” and so that everyone could be Wonder Woman.

She finds it hard to relax. Don’t we all? We all need a bit of Keep Calman Carry On.

Jen Macro is a Digital Producer for About the BBC Blog

• Catch up with Keep Calman Carry on on Radio 4
• Find out how to apply to be in the audience for BBC shows at the Shows, Tours and Take Part website