Parents share their concerns before their child starts secondary school, including forming new friendships, new routines, and being overprotective. The film offers tips that can help you and your child prepare emotionally for these changes.
Video: Emotionally supporting your child through secondary school
Ben: Hey, I'm Ben. I'm an actor, a comedian, writer and crucially, a dad. Now, when my eldest daughter started secondary school, her main concerns were fitting in and making friends. Now I've got a younger daughter about to start, she's asking all the same questions as her sister.
Tracy: I think the biggest challenge that she'll face is friendships.
Vino: You're thrust from that environment where they know everybody and then suddenly it's going to be like 210 kids of which she may know 30 and the rest of them are all brand new. And having to make those new connections I think will be something that she's gonna find difficult initially.
Ben: In the summer before they start secondary school, you can get your kids to make a list of things that they like about themselves or things that they're good at. It could be hobbies or arts and crafts or fun with friends and family. But make sure they identify the attributes that make them a fun friend.
Tracy: I think one of my biggest worries is her not being familiar. She is a creature of habit and likes to have things, what she knows. So I think that will be a big challenge for her, everything being new.
Graeme: My biggest worry will be in the initial weeks, months that he's gonna get himself lost, that he might struggle with the volume of work, and just generally the step up between… the slightly enclosed atmosphere of a primary school to the much harder, harsher environment of a secondary school.
Ben: Don't let your worries become their worries. Don't let them feel unsafe because you're constantly going on about safety. And don't crowd them out at the gates when they're trying to hang with new friends. Contain your emotions and let them have theirs.
Vino: They have to be far more independent, think for themselves, and do things for themselves so much more than they have to now.
Kelechi: I thought they were still babies. I was dropping them off at school myself until they practically wanted to go on strike and said "No." "All my friends, they walk to school, why can't I walk to school?" So they stood their ground and started walking to school. And that's when I got the best out of them.
Ben: How you chose to talk about school can make it sound like a world of opportunity or a world of terror. Your choice.
Kavida: I was an anxious parent. I maybe mollycoddled him a bit too much. Luckily my partner, we kind of balance off each other. So he's been a lot more like, "Just let him get on with it and deal with it." And I've been like, "No, don't let him do that."
Yvonne: My daughter is really looking forward to obviously the big thing, meeting new people but also the activities, the different activities, the enrichment time at the end of the day.
Ruth: By the second week she was, she'd ditched me completely and she was out there walking to school on her own, so…
Parents' top tips for preparing your child emotionally:
Get your child to make a list of things they like about themselves, making sure they identify the attributes behind those qualities
Don’t let your worries become their worries
Don’t let them feel unsafe because you are constantly talking about safety
Prepare them for all of the new and fun opportunities that they’ll have by talking to them about clubs and activities and encourage them to explore what's available
Increase the independence that you give them over the summer holidays or even their last months at primary school so that the jump to secondary feels natural
Let them know that should they need you, you are there for them and will help them no matter what
More advice for parents on preparing your child for secondary school
- Supporting a child moving to secondary school with Dr Radha
- Back to secondary school: How Bitesize can help parents
- How to chat with your child about their mental health
- Eight ways to support your child as they return to secondary school
- Top tips for the first day of secondary school
- The teenage brain: How you and your child can understand the changes they're going through
More from BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit…
Parents' Toolkit
Fun activities, real-life stories, wellbeing support and loads of helpful advice - we're here for you and your child.
Supporting a child moving to secondary school with Dr Radha
Advice on how to best prepare your child practically and emotionally for the start of secondary school.
How to spot the signs of cyberbullying with Dr Anna Colton
Looking at the common signs of cyberbullying, and what can be done to help.
Preparing your child practically
Explore how you can support your child practically ahead of their move to secondary school.
Netmums - Starting secondary school. External Link
Top tips for your child and you.
Starting Secondary School homepage
Free resources to help with the move to secondary school.
