Learning how to understand your child or baby's feelings can be a tough challenge.
Like adults, the signs might be visible in their face and behaviours can be clear to those who look for them, but your child will still be learning how to regulate and manage their behaviours themselves.
Here are some tips about how you can unpack your child’s behaviours and understand what the best action to take will be…
Tip 1 - Create a checklist of your child's everyday needs
When emotions are at a high, it can sometimes be tough to know the best place to start.
For moments like these, creating a mental checklist of your child’s needs can be an effective way to get to the bottom of the issue.
A lot of the time, your child may simply be trying to get your attention to address their needs, like being hungry or sleepy.
This checklist can also help you stay prepared when you’re out – for example, always carrying a healthy snack and a drink in your bag, in case your little one gets hungry.
This checklist can even help us to understand our own emotions – perhaps we don’t always know that we’re feeling irritable because we are tired or need a snack!
Tip 2 - Understand the difference between comfort and support
A key thing for you to understand as a parent, is the difference between when your child needs help with a problem, or just emotional support.
When your child is particularly distressed, it can be concerning when nothing on your checklist seems to address the problem.
In reality, your child may not be looking to you for an answer, but they might be looking for some comfort.
Sometimes asking for a cuddle or spending some time watching over them, can give them the comfort and help the emotions pass.
Tip 3 - Involving your child
Big feelings can be frustrating to deal with when they appear at inconvenient times, but it can be a great opportunity to begin teaching your child about emotional intelligence.
If your child is looking for help, try using simple language to ask what help they need. Even simple questions like, “Are you hungry?” can be a great way to engage with your child and to let them take control of the situation.
In more calm situations, it’s important to be able to put names to feelings.
You can practise talking with your child about different feelings, using simple words to explain concepts like 'hungry' or 'sad'.
Tip 4 - Learn your child's 'tell'
As a parent, it’s important to pay attention to your child’s individual behaviour.
The faces and noises your child makes can act as 'tells' to let us know what they need. It might be simple, like your child might yawn a lot, or their eye might twitch when they are sleepy.
Paying attention to your child’s unique tells can be a great way to improve your understanding and connection.
Even when your child is upset, those signs can help you come up with good ideas for solutions.
Tip 5 - Be patient
It can be tough when your child is struggling with their emotions, and as a parent you might feel yourself getting frustrated with them.
However, it’s important to take steps to manage your own frustrations and remember that children are not the same as adults.
While it may feel that way, most of the time children are not choosing to act in a frustrating way, but rather they are overwhelmed and still learning how to manage their emotions.
Even as adults, we're often not the best at recognising our own emotions, and what the best action is to make ourselves feel better!
