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It was the birthday from hell.
Its all on CCTV. The episode with the monkeys as well as the incident in the car park.
The gift from my cousin Kate was a day out at the Safari Park. We saved the monkeys til after lunch. The notice was clear. No stopping; opening windows, or feeding the animals.
We were trapped behind a silver Volkswagen which kept stopping and starting. Then the windows flew open and a shower of bread and bananas flew out. The driver (crew cut and earring) got out to take photographs.
I beeped my horn and he made rude gestures for the next half mile. He moved off fast when the monkeys climbed onto his bonnet.
Then they turned their attention to us and swarmed onto the car. The windscreen wipers went first. Worse was to come. The engine stopped!
The leader was bigger and uglier than the others. He gibbered up and down denting the bonnet; pressed his face against the windscreen, showing big yellow teeth and stared at us with bloodshot eyes while he scratched the paintwork. Then he peed up the windscreen.
Pass me anything edible, I said. We managed a banana, tuna sandwich and an orange.
There were screams from the back.
I turned round and he was picking at the rubber seal that held the back window in. The window shuddered as a big piece of rubber peeled off.
The kids were sobbing.
I wound the window down and shoved the food out--- and I managed to get the car started!
In the car park I saw the silver Volkswagen, parked by the café. I could feel the rage rising inside me.
I started by kicking the door, hard!
Then I mangled the windscreen wipers.
I was bashing one of the headlights, when a voice behind me said, Why are you attacking my car?.
I turned.
The man looked frightened. He was Japanese.
Id got the wrong car!
I still have nightmares...or should I say nightmonkeys!
