"My brother Alan and I had been farmers for the last 40 years, but we'd got ourselves in a poverty trap. The only way out of it was to sell-up and pay our debts off."
I'm 59 and live in Stafford. My hobbies are walking, badminton, gardening and reading.
I decided to tell this story as it was a love affair for me. It was very upsetting to have a farm sale.
Inside Lives has been a grand experience for me. Everything had to go. My brother Alan and I had been farmers for the last 40 years, but we'd got ourselves in a poverty trap. The only way out of it was to sell-up and pay our debts off. It was heart-wrenching for me 'cause I did not want to give up farming. It wasn't just a job for me - it was a love affair. My brother Alan could not sell up quick enough. He had 2 sons that didn't like farming and he was knocking 60, so it seemed a grand idea for him. I had the awful task of putting all my implements in the sale field. They all had to look spick and span. They were the love of my life. My wife would say 'you're more in love with that tractor than me'. I'm sure she was right, some of the time. At least I could turn the bugger off! While all this was going on, the only way I could cope was to keep topping myself up with a drop of whiskey. I suffered with back trouble most of my life and it was the best pain killer I knew. My friend, who was my neighbouring farmer, kept coming to me with his hip flask, to keep me topped up. He knew that it was a black day for Bryan. When it was all over, when all the stock and implements had gone, the farm seemed like a ghost town. Next day I felt so deflated I just went in the house and got drunk. It's taken the last 6 years for me to find out that there's more to life than farming.
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