Okay, stop laughing. Scotland beating Australia is not very likely. Distinctly improbable in fact.
But this is a World Cup quarter-final, and anything can happen, right? So just bear with me.
Australia may be defending champions and on home soil, but the Scots - well, they love to spoil a party. Remember Murrayfield 1990 and 2000? England do.
Nathan Hines, the Scottish lock from Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, reckons they might run on in 'See you Jimmy' wigs in a bid to put the Wallabies off their stride.
But how can a Scotland side that has tested the patience of even their most loyal fans at this tournament seriously hope to cause the biggest shock in World Cup history?
BBC Sport attempts to find grounds for optimism.
The line-out
 Grimes will have to hit the heights |
Australia coughed up possession on half-a-dozen of their own throws against Ireland, when one of the Wallabies' recent strengths became a liability. Scotland know the ball will be largely heading to either the out-of-form David Giffin or fellow lock Nathan Sharpe, and can attack the opposition throw.
If Stuart Grimes and Hines can disrupt this primary source of possession and win their own ball, the hosts may start to wobble.
Tactical kicking
With little in the way of pace to give the Wallabies cause for concern, Scotland are likely to try to turn Australia with probing kicks to the flanks.
Rugby league converts Wendell Sailor and Lote Tuqiri, so the theory goes, love to run with the ball but might not be too clever on the defensive elements of the 15-man code.
New stand-off Chris Paterson impressed in this area against Fiji, while "having Gregor Townsend at outside centre gives us options," says Scotland coach Ian McGeechan.
The breakdown
Australia may not have as many line-out options without Owen Finegan and Toutai Kefu, but they now operate with two natural open-side flankers in their back row.
George Smith and Phil Waugh are top-notch 'loosies', while Scotland need the tireless Cameron Mather to continue his SOS job in the absence of the injured Andrew Mower.
As Scotland assistant coach Jim Telfer puts it: "We hope our support is there quickly enough and we can stand on our feet long enough."
The scrummage
Lions prop Tom Smith has upset some notable opponents before, and Aussie tight-head Ben Darwin is regarded as a potential weakness in the opposition front row.
Hines quipped the Scots haven't bothered with their set-piece work this week, opting instead to practice kicking and punching in the wake of Australian coach Eddie Jones' comments. Scrum-half Bryan Redpath will try to disrupt the under-fire George Gregan at the scrum base while number eight Simon Taylor's charges can put Scotland on the front foot.
The defence
Scotland must tackle their brave hearts out, and recalled flanker Jason White - described by Telfer as the hardest tackler he has ever seen - will need to go Wallaby hunting.
Midfield will be a key area where Australia will aim to launch number eight David Lyons and centre Stirling Mortlock at Paterson, Townsend and Andy Henderson.
Out wide, wings Kenny Logan and Simon Danielli will need to contain the dangerous Sailor and Tuqiri, who McGeechan admits have "a lot of potential for attack".
The 'Geech' factor
McGeechan's ability for pulling rabbits out of hats is legendary, and the three-times Lions coach, along with Telfer, is retiring from frontline coaching after this World Cup.
Logan and Redpath are also bowing out on the playing side, and all four will be desperate for one last hurrah.
History
The last time Scotland beat any of the southern hesmisphere's big three away from home was against Australia in Brisbane in 1982. How's that for an omen?
Convinced? No, I thought not.
MMIX
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They'll get stuck in and do anything to win the game 
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