Hmm - Madrid or Margate?

Michel Salgado lines up for Spain against England on Tuesday, but his heart is still in... Margate.

The Real Madrid defender spent one summer in the seaside town and declared it as one of his best holidays ever.

After all, who needs casinos and designer tops, when you've got fruit machines and "Kiss my Ass" T-shirts?

"I went to Margate when I was 14 to study English," Salgado revealed. "It was great!

"I couldn't believe it, there was the beach and then behind it was packed full of amusement arcades."

The young Salgado was placed with a family, the father of which he described as "one of those typical English blokes".

You can guess what's coming.

"He worked in a factory that made shop signs and always wore this tight T-shirt with the slogan 'Kiss my Ass' on it," Salgado recalled.

"He had a party once and I've never seen people drink so much beer.

MARGATE FACTS Winston Churchill had a cat called Margate Only Fools and Horses filmed a special there Chas 'n' Dave wrote a song Margate It is approximately 80 miles from Chelsea There is a pub called The Mechanical Elephant Fish and chips costs �3.30 in Mick's Chippy

"We were only allowed shandy, but to see them down half-litre cans was incredible."

Amazingly that didn't put Salgado off, although he admitted to reporters that the food was not his cup of tea.

"I couldn't take the peanut butter sandwiches," he groaned.

"And I couldn't believe you have a big lunch on a Sunday and nothing else all day. I had to spend all day in Burger King."

That aside, Salgado insisted: "It was great fun - I love Margate."

English agents, you have been warned. When you head off to Spain for the next transfer window, forget the suitcase full of money, just offer to throw in a "Kiss Me Quick" hat and a stick of rock. Sorted.