TWENTY20 INTERNATIONAL, Old Trafford:
England 127-1 (17.3 overs) bt New Zealand 123-9 (20 overs) by nine wickets
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e-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with 'For Ben Dirs' in the subject), text 81111 (with "CRICKET" as the first word) or use 606. (Not all contributions can be used)ENGLAND INNINGS "Look were A-levels got me: Iraq. Good to see England doing well though..."
Adam Clark in the TMS inbox 18th over - 127-1 KP mis-times a drive to mid-on for one and it's left to Bell to hit the winning run... Styris serves up a half-tracker and Bell yanks him to the mid-wicket fence for four. Not much of a game that, but don't take anything away from England, their bowlers bowled with discipline and their top order did what they had to do. And with that statement of the obvious, I'll make my exit... oh, thanks for all the emails, it's been lots of fun... 17th over - 122-1 Flynn thrown into the attack by Vettori like a metaphorical white towel. A few singles before Bell once again shows his class, staying back and late-cutting Flynn to the third-man boundary. England need two from 18 balls. "My sister has just received her final year med results: Honours with distinction. Here Here Hazaa! I work in a call centre."
Edward in the TMS inbox 16th over - 115-1 Gillespie back on and KP and Bell pick up a single apiece. Gillespie serves up a rank half-tracker and Pietersen swats it dismissively to the square-leg boundary. Just one more from the over from KP and England need nine from four overs. If they don't pull this off, I'll eat my next door neighbour's canary. 15th over - 108-1 KP hits his straps, sweeping Vettori sweetly for four before adopting the 'stork' and yanking the Kiwi away for another boundary. McCullum gives KP a bit of chat, and KP gives him bunches back. All getting a little bit saucy out there as England coast towards their target... 14th over - 99-1 One for Bell and that's his fifty from 39 balls - and there was me saying he's not cut out for Twenty20. What a daft a'peth he's made me look. KP picks up a couple with a flip to long-leg and one more with a clip to long-on. Apologies Hannah (see below) - we mock that you are doing six A-levels when clearly the human race in England has advanced at such a rapid pace, 18-year-olds are now twice as intelligent as they were just a generation ago. 13th over - 95-1 KP stands tall and square-drives Styris for two. Pietersen and Bell exchange two singles apiece before KP gets down on one knee and shows his class, shovelling Styris over his shoulder for four. The tourists looking down the barrel at an ass-whupping. "The only person I know who did six A-levels at my school also used to get changed for PE under one of those big towels with an elasticated hole to put your head through."
Mel, Oxfordshire, in the TMS inbox 12th over - 85-1 Many thanks for the emails, which have started flooding in since I sent out my little plea. Unfortunately I can't publish them now because this game is so ruddy fast-paced!!! That's magnificent, lusty hitting from Bell, depositing Mason over the long-on fence. Two more for Bell with a clip to mid-wicket and his missus can start looking for that new house in Malibu - I think the Warwickshire man will be 500k better off come November on the back of this display. 11th over - 75-1 Bell and KP exchange two singles apiece before Styris sends down a wide. The Kiwis need wides right now like a kick in the knackers. "Reasons for lack of interest tonight. 1. Twenty20 is basically rubbish. 2. The football's on and everyone's down the pub as it's Friday."
Stella, Devon, in the TMS inbox 10th over - 70-1 That's another doozy of a shot from Bell, lofting Mason straight back over his head for four. Two runs for Pietersen, missing out on a full-toss, but he follows up with a peach of a cover-drive for four. KP finding his timing. Hannah (see below) - six A-levels? Are you serious? When I was at school you could get into Oxbridge with three A-levels and the only person who ever did six A-levels used to study astro-physics at Oxford in his spare time and once learnt to speak Finnish during his summer holidays "because he liked Finnish rally drivers". "I'm stuck in on a Friday night revising for my six A-Levels I have next week. If only one of them was in the art of pressing F5."
Hannah, more bored than Will In Coalville, in nearby Leicester, in the TMS inbox 9th over - 58-1 One for KP before Bell unveils an absolutely lip-smacking stroke, a dreamy lofted cover-drive for four. One more for the Warwickshire man, but KP is quite happy to play himself in at the other end. England bang on target. 8th over - 52-1 One for Bell with a flick to long-on and KP is unable to pierce the off-side field with a couple of expansive drives. Pietersen is beaten by Mason outside the off-stump but does pick up a single with a nurdle to mid-on. "Looks to me like the Enland team are moonlighting from a day job of flipping burgers. I keep wondering if I should order extra fries. Mind, that's an improvement on this year's whites, which are so loose they looked like extras from Holby City. Perhaps it's some strange inverse law - the worse the kit the better they play?"
Kathy in the TMS inbox 7th over - 50-1 Vettori decides it's time to turn his arm over. Fine cricketer Vettori, but he's not the most upbeat of chaps. As far as his team-mates are concerned it must be like being skippered by Tony Hancock. Three dot balls from Vettori to Pietersen before Vettori puts down a caught and bowled - strange shot from KP, almost scooping it up, but Vettori is unable to pull it in with his right hand. Two runs for England and that's England's fifty from 48 balls. A nifty start. 6th over - WICKET - Wright c Gillespie b Mason 24, Eng 48-1
Wright finally goes after a savage innings of 24 from 18 balls. He crashes Mason head-height to the long-off fence before going for another mighty smite and holing out to Gillespie at long-on. KP is the new man at the crease, but Belly has nicked the strike and is unable to score from the final three balls of the over. "Re: lack of emails. It's this cricket in the evening thing, it clashes with Hollyoaks."
Ed, Chippenham, in the TMS inbox 5th over - 44-0 Chalk and cheese here for England, Wright going at the Kiwi bowling like some horror film monster while Bell, a far more stylish player, happy to borrow from the text-book. Bell clips Mills off his toes for four before Wright is almost run out - a direct hit and he would have walked. Mills, searching for the yorker, serves up a full-bunger and Wright lashes him through the covers for four. The Kiwis really creaking under this onslaught, and England pick up an overthrow from the final ball of the over. "Ben, if your up for doing requests, can you tell my mate Carl in Crawley that tonight's event is seriously the beginning of the end for Test cricket and if he thinks it's harmelss fun then let's regroup in five years and have another look."
Andrew Gell, York, in the TMS inbox 4th over - 32-0 Wright gets a let-off - the Sussex biffer goes for some hammer and the ball lands between three fielders at mid-wicket. Flynn it was with the desperate dive, but I'm not sure anyone was really to blame. Wright crashes the ball straight back at Gillespie and the Kiwi seamer takes evasive action... but Wright gets the next one through, absolutely marmalising the ball straight past Gillespie and down to the long-off fence. Wright then goes for another huge pull shot and the ball flies over McCullum's head and into the fence for four. But that's a bit more convincing from Wright, flogging Gillespie to the wide long-on boundary. Fearsome hitting from Wright, England off to a flyer. 3rd over - 18-0 Bells tucks Mills to the long-leg fence for four before square-driving him for another. Belly teaching me a little lesson so far, he looks in superb nick. One more for Bell with a drive into the covers before Wright gets off the mark with a tuck to square-leg. Rhythm Is A Dancer! The last time I heard this I was paying for 24 vodka and oranges in Romford Ritzy with a handful of coppers and bottle tops... the barman, a mate of mine, was laid off soon afterwards... "Weddings on the Italian Riveria? We got sunburnt outside Hinckley Registrary Office taking our nuptials. Keep the Italian scenery, we could see the local hospital down the road and all the locals spoke nearly the same language."
Will, Bored In Coalville, in the TMS inbox 2nd over - 8-0 Gillespie to Wright and that's an ugly heave from outside off-stump and the ball dribbles into the covers for no run. Big lbw shout from Gillespie against Wright but that hit him outside the line. However, that's the second maiden of the match and useful bowling from Gillespie. "If you ask for emails, they will come. Shame I don't have anything good to say though."
Sarah, Leeds, in the TMS inbox 1st over - 8-0 Bell still in this England line-up, and I can't help thinking he should be discarded. Indeed, picking Bell for England's Twenty20 team is as nonsensical as picking Stephen Hawking for England's wheelchair basketball team. Just because Bell can play cricket doesn't mean he's going to be any good at Twenty20, and just because Hawking is in a wheelchair doesn't mean he's going to be bagging you triple-doubles all afternoon. A bit of inswing for Mills but Bell picks up four with a outside edge, and Bell follows up with a classical off-drive, all along the carpet, for another four. That's right Belly, RAM THOSE WORDS BACK DOWN MY STUPID THROAT! 1905: Any chance of some emails, I'm feeling a bit lonely... I see Wayne and Coleen had a spot of rain at their wedding on the Italian Riviera yesterday. I don't know why they didn't just have it in Croxteth, it was lovely up there. Here come the England openers - Wright and Bell have plumped for a spot of Eminem. If WG Grace was brought back to life and introduced to Eminem, I reckon he'd think he was another species of animal altogether. "Re Flight of the Conchords, definitely a quality album, and in the context of the game, England definitely seem to have decided it's Business Time!"
Richard, Devon, in the TMS inbox NEW ZEALAND INNINGS WICKET - Mason run out 2, NZ 123-9
Mason is the Kiwi number 10 and Vettori gives him the strike with a clip to mid-on. Mason slices a drive to third-man for a single before Vettori smears Anderson to mid-wicket for one, as if he's spreading jam on a giant slice of toast. But Mason is run out from the final ball of the over, Ambrose whipping off the stumps after a throw from Wright. Fine bowling display from England, a little bit flat from New Zealand, the hosts really should have few problems chasing this total down. 20th over - WICKET - Mills c Bell b Anderson 12, NZ 118-8
A single for Vettori gives the strike back for Mills, who can tap a bit, but he sticks the next ball straight down Bell's gullet at long-on. 19th over - 117-7 Lovely shot from Vettori, moving to outside off and yanking Wright down to the long-leg boundary. Vettori tries to repeat the shot, but this time it's fuller and he's unable to get any bat on it. Vettori does nick a single before Mills bags two with a clip to long-on. Wright, striving for the yorker, is unlucky with his final ball, Mills inside-edging for four, and Mills follows up with a useful slap over extra-cover for another boundary. Fifteen from the over, the most expensive of the innings. 18th over - WICKET - Flynn st Ambrose b Swann 23, NZ 98-7
There goes New Zealand's last proper batsman, Flynn moseying down the pitch and getting himself stumped by Ambrose. Mills joins Vettori at the crease. Vettori brings up the Kiwi ton with a paddle-sweep to mid-wicket for one. One for Mills with a work to backward square-leg and Vettori nicks the strike with a nurdle to leg. Two overs to go, New Zealand woefully under par. 17th over - WICKET - Styris b Broad 10, NZ 96-6
I know Twenty20 is all about horrible shots, but that was so ugly from Styris it would have been rejected by a Victorian freak show. He swivels on a shortish ball from Broad, misses and is bowled all ends up. Sidebottom and Cook have just been shown in the bus shelter and they're both doing their best to look upbeat. Not sure how upbeat I'd be if I knew I might miss out on 500k in a few months time. 16th over - 95-5 Good footwork from Flynn, dancing down the track and clipping Swann straight through the hands of Collingwood at short cover and away for four. A chance, but a toughy. Flynn shuffles across his stumps and works Swann into the leg-side for one before Styris drives to mid-off for a single of his own. Flynn reaches for one and is almost deceived, but he picks up a single. 15th over - 86-5 Good, sharp fielding from Bell at point before Styris nicks one. But that's beefier from Flynn, rocking back and flogging Mascarenhas over the mid-wicket fence for six. Good comeback from Mascar, but Flynn does steal the strike with a single from the final ball of the over. Time to go ruddy berserk, New Zealand, or you're going to get your backsides handed to you... 14th over - 78-5 If they are so desperate for Twenty20 to be 'cool', why did they just play Dancing on the Ceiling? Lionel Richie is about as cool as thrush. This partnership are mainly dealing in ones, but Flynn does pick up a couple with a drag through mid-wicket. 13th over - 72-5 Mascarenhas into the attack and Flynn clips him into the leg-side for one. Big lbw shout by Mascarenhas against Styris, but I think it hit him outside the line. One more for Flynn, but Styris is struggling for any kind of form and is unable to score from the final two balls of the over. 12th over - Fulton b Swann 0, NZ 68-5
Here's England spinner Graeme Swann bowling to new batsman Two Metre Peter Fulton... and the big man's gone, missing one that pitches outside off-stump and pegs back his off-stump. The perfect off-spinner's wicket. Swanny is turning it square - Flynn gets another beauty first-up, edges and the ball ricochets off of Ambrose's gloves and pops out of Colly's hands at slip. "Who says spinners can't bowl in Twenty20," says Phil Tufnell on TMS. Graeme Swann, as I understand it, is the front man for Dr Comfort and the Lurid Revelations, which would have been a good title for Harold Shipman's autobiography. If he hadn't hanged himself using his own bed-sheets. What a shame that was. 11th over - McCullum b Wright 24, NZ 67-4
Wright digs one in short and McCullum rocks back and marmalises the Sussex man over the deep mid-wicket fence for six. Brutal. McCullum follows up with a single, but Wright dredges up a beauty to get rid of the Kiwi bogeyman, a yorker that makes a mess of McCullum's stumps. Huge wicket for the hosts, although McCullum was really struggling with his timing. Talking of ladies, there are some real doozies in tonight, which begs the question: does Twenty20 cricket attract more beautiful fans? If every soldier in the world put down his weapon and picked up a woman, what a peaceful world this world would be. Sorry, just bought the Flight of the Conchords album and have been listening to it non-stop for the last two weeks... genius... 10th over - 59-3 McCullum arches his back and shovels Colly into the covers for four before carving the England skipper to the backward-point boundary. Another good over, though, from England and the tourists are going to have to go some to get anything near a decent score. 9th over - 50-3 Wright serves McCullum up a bumper which Styris swats away for one. McCullum brings up New Zealand's fifty before Styris first misses out on an attempted hook and then a big old heave outside off-stump. Lots of Amy Winehouse lookalikes in tonight. Of all the women in all the world, I can't think of a woman I'd rather look like less. Just two from Wright's over, far too sedate from New Zealand. 8th over - WICKET - Taylor b Collingwood 25, NZ 45-3
Time for some of Collingwood's dobblies, and perhaps even some of his dibblies. McCullum works him off his pads for two, but he's in rancid nick this evening. He fails to get Colly's next ball away before squirting away a slog-sweep down to long-leg for three. And that's Taylor gone! Fine ball from Collingwood, the ball nibbling back off the seam and finding the gap between bat and pad. Styris, always a force in the shorter forms, is next up. He's off the mark with a nudge into the off-side before Collingwood has a furious lbw shout against McCullum turned down by the umpire. 7th over - 40-2 Luke Wright into the attack and McCullum scrambles one in the sun at Old Trafford. That's a rank half-volley from Wright outside off-stump and Taylor pings him over extra-cover for six. Not many cleaner hitters than Taylor in world cricket at the moment, although he's beaten by Wright's final ball. McCullum, remarkably, is still on one. This kind of economy from English bowlers is truly bizarre. I feel almost dirty listening to this."
William, Leicester, in the TMS inbox 6th over - 33-2 Anderson strays onto Taylor's legs and is clipped through mid-wicket for four before Taylor gets seriously lairy, falling to one knee and hoicking Anderson over the backward square-leg fence for the first maximum of the evening. A half-bunger from Anderson and Taylor laces him through the covers for another four - nothing agricultural about that, proper cricket shot. New Zealand hitting their straps, 14 from the over. KC and the Sunshine Band! My nan liked them. 5th over - 19-2 Not sure what the Kiwis are up to - that's three more dot balls from Broad before Taylor does open his shoulders, crashing Broad through the covers for four. One more from Taylor, and this partnership is key - if England can rip one or both out in the next few overs, the Kiwis really are in a pickle. "Will Sir Allen Stanford be sitting on a throne when the first game begins and will all players have to bow at him when they enter the field of play? Be careful here - when he gets bored he will be off with his money. And what state will the game be in then when he leaves the mess behind. Long live Test matches."
Al cummings via text 4th over - 14-2 McCullum, New Zealand's 'go-to' man in shorter forms of the game, is being pegged down here - he's only faced three balls before this over and is yet to score a run. Anderson starts off over four with four dot balls before McCullum strides down the track, attempts a hook and is cracked on the bonce. Remarkably, McCullum shoulders arms to the final delivery of the over... and that's a maiden! Bowling a maiden to McCullum in Twenty20 cricket must be as exciting as finding a quality broadsheet among a sea of Metros and London Lites on the underground. 3rd over - Marshall c Ambrose b Broad 13, NZ 14-2
McCullum and Marshall exchange singles before Marshall opens up a bit, mis-timing a hook for two before thrashing an over-pitched delivery from Broad through the covers for four. Marshall is beaten next up, attempting to guide Broad down to third man. And Marshall falls from the final ball of the over, chasing a wide one and feathering a catch to Ambrose behind the sticks. 2nd over - WICKET - How c Shah b Anderson 1, NZ 1-1
That's the first wicket of the evening, How driving and edging and Shah taking a comfortable catch at first slip. Marshall is the new man at the crease and his first ball from Anderson squares him up. Anderson, with a stiff breeze behind him, serves the next ball up at 88mph and Marshall just manages to fend it short of second slip. And that's the first boundary of the day, Marshall edging through the slips for four. Anderson hits back with a nasty bit of chin music that Marshall jerkes underneath, and the Kiwis have made a ropey old start here. "Twenty20 cricket is wham bam thank you ma'am, Test cricket is long slow delicious..."
Chrissy, North Notts, in the TMS inbox 1st over - 1-0 Right, we're off, and Broad's first delivery is left by How. Broad's second ball is again ignored by How, while the third, a straighter delivery, is blocked. That's one rascal of an outfit the England team are wearing - Ferrari red round-necks and blue tracky bottoms. I'm not sure what they look like, but they don't look like cricketers. How is off the mark with an outside edge for one - and that's that, just one from the over, and that's the Twenty20 equivalent of taking a quadruple-wicket maiden in Test cricket. 1729: England win the toss and have decided to have a bowl...and here they come, not, as Aggers points out, to the strains of Jerusalem. To be honest, I've no idea what the ruddy heck that was - some R&B nonsense or other - but the Kiwi openers emerge to a spot of AC/DC, and I don't care what anyone says, that's just not cricket in any form of the game. 1720: Only two Twenty20 games between now and this Stanford nonsense in November, so I'd imagine there's a bit of an edge in the England dressing room this evening. Keep an eye on Anderson when Broad is getting some hammer, and vice versa, you might just be able to detect an almost imperceptible smile. 1715: Just seen an interview with Dimitri Mascarenhas in which he says "kids will always want to play Test cricket". I'm not so sure - why would any kid in their right mind aspire to a game that pays stacks less and is far less exciting? I must stress, that's not me talking, I think Test cricket is the absolute daddy. "Surely you're not intimating that in 20 years' time universities will be the sole preserve of young people whose parents can afford to send them, and that no young person will take it upon themselves to apply for a student loan on the basis of a sound education leading to higher future earnings potential? I feel a stroppy letter to the Director General complaining bitterly of political bias in the cricket department coming on."
Paul, Lancs, in the TMS inbox 1707: New Zealand are without key all-rounder Jacob Oram, who pulled up with left hamstring trouble in the warm-up and was hastily replaced by Peter Fulton. That's a ruddy massive blow for the tourists. Off-spinner Jeetan Patel also missed out, with the tourists preferring an attack comprising captain Daniel Vettori, seamers Michael Mason, Mark Gillespie and Kyle Mills and all-rounder Scott Styris. New Zealand: McCullum, JM How, JAH Marshall, LRPL Taylor, SB Styris, DR Flynn, PG Fulton, DL Vettori, KD Mills, MR Gillespie, MJ Mason 1701: Seamer Ryan Sidebottom is rested for tonight's encounter at Old Trafford while opener Alastair Cook and quick Chris Tremlett have also been left out. Test keeper Tim Ambrose has been brought in for his limited-overs international debut in place of Phil Mustard. Ian Bell takes over from Mustard at the top having hit 42 for Warwickshire as an opener against Glamorgan earlier this week while in-form Essex all-rounder Ravi Bopara also returns after missing out on the two Twenty20 victories over New Zealand in the winter. He's making his international debut in this form of cricket. England: Luke Wright, Ian Bell, Kevin Pietersen, Ravi Bopara, Paul Collingwood (capt), Owais Shah, Dimitri Mascarenhas, Tim Ambrose (wkt), Graeme Swann, Stuart Broad, James Anderson 1700: All right? All set for a spot of crash, bang, wallop this evening? If a certain American businessman gets his way, we'll be seeing a lot more of it in the future. And all of a sudden, with Allen Stanford's �10m game coming up in November, games like this have taken on a real significance, with players really desperate to impress rather than seeing it as a bit of a fanny about on a Friday evening. Not sure all this cash coming into cricket is necessairly a good thing though. I've got visions of Monty Panesar bumping into Graeme Swann in 20 years' time and going, "how's your son, is he at university?" and Swanny turning round and going, "no, we couldn't afford to send him. We would have been able to if you'd taken that catch in Antigua in 2008. He's got himself a job in a factory instead."
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