Fifth Test, Trinidad (day two):
West Indies 92-1 v England 546-6 dec (close)

Paul Collingwood and Matt Prior notched centuries as England posted an imposing first innings total on day two of the fifth Test against West Indies.

Collingwood (161) and Prior (131no) put on 218, a record fifth-wicket stand for England against West Indies.

The tourists, who resumed on 258-2 and lost Andrew Strauss (142) and Owais Shah (33), posted 546-6 declared.

Monty Panesar then bowled Devon Smith for 28 to reduce West Indies to 92-1 at the close, a 454-run deficit.

By Tom Fordyce

606: DEBATE Discuss the day's play on 606

e-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with 'For Tom Fordyce' in the subject), text 81111 (with "CRICKET" as the first word) or use 606. (Not all contributions can be used)

STUMPS

2119: WI 92-1
Monty v Gayle, and that's an easy single to mid-on. Daft. Powell prods forward to the remainder, and that's your lot - explosive final session after two of tedium. Windies 454 runs behind, three days to go. The series is in the balance...

Mark Mitchener with you on Sunday - a salute for the email and textchat. You've been special.

From Barry in France, TMS inbox: "These modern historians wouldn't have stood a chance against the one and only Tacitus. How can they hold a candle to a man who took part in the Domitian massacres? He did things that made Nero look away in disgust...hard, very hard and handy with a sword."

From Rabson, TMS inbox: "Please write my e-mail. I am 14."

2116: WI 91-1
Powell's come in for nightwatchman duties, bare-headed in deference to the twin-spin. He survives Swann's effort, and we'll have one more over before the close. Monty - what's in your locker?

2112: WICKET - Smith b 28, Panesar WI 90-1

You want to join the party? asks Gayle, and belts Monty's first ball through cover for a spanking four. He gets a full toss next for a single, and then... MONTY STRIKES! Smith plays inside one and, micro-seconds later, his off-peg lies prone on the deck. No spin at all, just a straight one - Smith simply missed it.

2109: WI 85-0
Best over of the day for England, but only because Swann keeps Gayle down to a single. Monty readying for a joust at the other end.

2105: WI 84-0
Full bunger now from Amjad - Smith takes two to leg, and another one on leg stump is put away to the same spot for two more, followed by a single. As Archie Drell and the Drells once sang, it's time to tighten up.

From Cen, TMS inbox: "My money would be on Burkchardt in any catchweight historian bout of pugilism. Dude spent more time at the crease than Geoffrey Boycott (circa 50 years plying his trade). He also possessed dazzling handspeed and footwork to die for (it's not so much the ability to take a punch, it's the ability to avoid being hit - (Dot Cotton, Walford)."

2100: WI 78-0
Crackeroo - Gayle steps away to Swann and cuts him with clout for four to the point boundary. A middled flick off the pads brings two more, and England are nowhere near a wicket at the moment. Five overs left in the day.

2055: WI 72-0
Uh-oh - what did Harmison say to Amjad? First ball of his third over is a no-ball, as is the second - which also goes for four byes down leg. KP jogs across and puts a meaty forearm round his shoulder, and it seems to do the trick - the next two pitch just shy of a length on middle and are defended well. Fifth ball it all goes Harmie gain - wide, short, chopped away by Smith for four - and an over-compensator to leg is nudged for a single. Another single off the seventh ball. Ouch.

From Stewart, TMS inbox: "What with Amjad's Danish roots, I thought we'd get some comments about 'pastry-chuckers' but sadly, not so far..."

2050:

WI 54-0

... not given! Hawk-Eye suggests it was drifting down leg - Strauss disagrees, but Umpire Tiffin can look smug for once - he's got it right. Next up - KABOOM! Gayle flays Swann miles over long-on for another monstrous six. If that over hasn't tickled your fancy, you're a cold-blooded lizard.

2049:

WI 54-0

Time for some swan from Spinny - I beg your pardon, spin from Swanny. Gayle watches one and then belts a skimming six straight back down the track. Big lbw appeal next - turned down, and England reach for the referral...

From Chris Crampton, TMS inbox: "People are overlooking the sheer combative fightin' talk of naval historian NAM Rodger. From regarding those historians who ignore naval history as akin to writing a history of Switzerland without mentioning mountains, to a penchant for writing truly vicious footnotes, he's the one in the corner of the pub you REALLY don't want to mess with. And he knows all about guns too. Be afraid."

2044: WI 47-0
Over no.2 from Amjad. A short one is pulled away by Smith to Monty, sweeping on the midwicket boundary. Only one more single off that set, however, and not a no-ball in sight. He's officially settled. Ish.

From Craig Knowles, TMS inbox: "Re: Amjad - 'Ball 1: no-ball by a mile, plus a single.' Least it shows he was taking Harmison's advice on board."

2040: WI 46-0
Broad switches to round the wicket, and the ball keeps low before another takes Smith's edge and skims along the deck past second slip for four. Ou est le breakthrough?

From Ian in Baltimore, TMS inbox: "Bede the only English Doctor of the Church? what about St Anselm of Canterbury? (famous for the ontological argument for the existence of God). Well OK he was born in Italy, but if we can put KP in our cricket team surely we can include him in our line up?"

2032: WI 40-0
Here we go - it's Amjad Time! Nervous moments for the Copenhagen-born debutant, the 642nd player to win a Test cap for England. Might go ball-by-ball for this one.
Ball 1: no-ball by a mile, plus a single.
Ball 2: another no-ball. Oh dear.
Ball 3: actual ball - and nearly a wicket! Gayle's edge falls just short of second slip.
Ball 4: dot-ball, played into leg-side.
Ball 5: another no-ball!
Ball 6: dot-ball. Relax, New-Boy.
Ball 7: just outside off, left by batsman, Prior spills for a bye.
Ball 8: dot-ball left alone outside off.
Ball 9: dot-ball played into the gully. Well done, fella - you're on your way.

2024: WI 32-0
Jimmy A gets an earful from Umpire Harper about following through down the track. Going a little wider, he gets too much angle and is chopped between gully and point for another four. Broad to continue, although Monty's warming up ostentatiously at midwicket. Eyes on the prize, Monty - eyes on the prize...

From Benny in Derby, TMS inbox: "I come to find out what's happening in the cricket. I leave with a comprehensive list of the best pound-for-pound historians in the country."

2021: WI 27-0
Broad's struggling here. He goes too full and is smashed back past his bootstraps for four, but then nearly gets lucky as Gayle drives uppishly just short of mid-off. 14 off his three overs so far.

From Jason Jones, TMS inbox: "Herodotus would have to be involved of course as well as Gildas and Nennius. In order to not offend William the Conqueror a few of his contemporaries would have to be invited so hello to William of Malmesbury and William of Jumieges. Gibbon and Macauley from more modern times to complete the line up. No idea if any could take a punch though. My guess would be Herodotus was someone not to be messed with."

2016: WI 22-0
Carumba - what a shot that is from Gayle, stepping into an over-pitched one from Anderson and creaming it effortlessly back down the ground for four. Indecisive next up, though, as he half-withdraws his blade and almost plays on. Random ladies dance on the grass in front of the stands. That's the Gayle Effect for you.

From Edmund in Missouri, TMS inbox: "I'm glad you mentioned Bede. Not only a super historian, he's currently the only English Doctor of the Church. I wonder how his surgery might compare to that of fellow Northumbrian Jim Laker, first man to take 10 in a Test innings?"

2010: WI 18-0
Short and wide from Broad, and Smith tucks into that with relish and mustard - four pulled through midwicket. Full and wide next - four byes like leg peg. Better length after that, beating Smith with a tempter angled across.

From David, TMS inbox: "Historians? Family issues? This is surely the time to concentrate on more important issues with our backs once again to the wall - who's going to get the vote on red nose dance thingy? My money is on the girl from 'The Bill'. Ok, the routine wasn't perfect but who cares?"

2007: WI 8-0
Just a single to Smith off the rest of that over, dropped into the off-side and sprinted. Shadows begin to creep across the outfield.

From Joe Young, TMS inbox: "Historians fighting? Pah, pure piffle. Give me Archaeologists any day. Get a good Processualist, such as Binford, taking on the Post-Processualist Hodder, and it would make the Historians look amateurish. You could even get Baldrick and that West Country idiot to chat inanely about 'ritualistic pummelling' in the background."

2005:

WI 7-0

Waste of time. Pitched outside leg again. That's one of England's two referrals up in smoke.

2004:

WI 7-0

Anderson to Smith, strikes him on the pad - umpo says no, but Strauss wants to go upstairs...

1959: WI 7-0
18 overs left in the day, and Broad goes wayward down Smith's leg-side - kept rather low, that one, which will be a worry for Gayle. What am I saying? That man worries about nothing. 'Anxiety' isn't in his vocabulary, he probably can't even spell 'stress' etc etc. Ell bee appeal from Broad, but that pitched well outside off. He drops one short next up, and Gayle swats it away over midwicket for four, like a man flicking away a ponderous mosquito.

1954: WI 2-0
Jimmy Anderson is handed the cherry - two slips and a gully in. Gayle and Smith off the mark with singles, not much menace so far. Broad at the other end? My stack of Denmark/Copenhagen chat readied for Amjad must wait.

From Joel in Nottingham, TMS inbox: "Surely no such debate over bespoke historians is complete without the presence of the mercurial A.J.P Taylor. I mean I know he's been bludgeoned into submission by revisionists rather like Beefy marmalising Terry Alderman all over Headingley circa 1981, but the mere ability to draw in millions of viewers to his solo 'chalk and talk' style history programmes in the 1970s should ensure him a place at the table of historical greats?"

That's all very well, Joel - but as Paul in Lancs has reminded us, could he take a punch?

1948: WI 0-0
Don't want to worry you, but I've just spotted Steve Harmison appearing to give Amjad Khan a succession of bowling tips.

ENGLAND INNINGS

1942: ENGLAND DECLARE ON 546-6
That'll do you, says Strauss, although for a while Prior and Swann fail to hear him shouting from the balcony or spot the rest of their team-mates waving furiously. Let the fun begin!

From Jude Burcombe, Coulsdon, TMS inbox: "Re Neil West, 19:05. I am in Coulsdon with 2 kids. Today we all made chocolate rock cakes. Thankfully the kids aren't cooking me dinner. Today I put up a much needed shelf for the cookbooks in the kitchen, paid my RAC membership and had 3 poos. I am fairly happy virile 39 year old."

1939: Eng 538-6
Swann slashes away feverishly for a brace of singles as Prior does the same. Re the historian punch-up debate - what about the grandaddy of them all, the Northumbrian Nemesis, the Monk With The Spunk - the venerable Bede?

1935: Eng 534-6
Swann replaces Broad; Hinds replaces Edwards. Virtually playing with one arm, Swanny - he's due for an operation on that dicky elbow as soon as this match is over. Prior goes to 128, his highest Test score, with a lofted drive over cover.

From Chris Smyth, TMS inbox: "Mark in Herts is far too harsh on Niall Ferguson - The Pity of War is a real Tendulkar double hundred of a book. However, Ferguson has clearly been softened up by his annoyingly flashy TV stuff - a bit like Pietersen in Twenty20. David Starkey would make short work of him."

1929: WICKET - Broad c Simmons b Baker 19, Eng 530-6

Big question here is when Strauss decides to declare. Bit more smash and then stick the Windies in 40? Wait up - Broad's holed out. Big swipe, got it too high on the blade, comfy snag jogging round at long-on.

1925: Eng 527-5
Prior goes to 124 with an eight-iron high over mid-on for two. After some single scampering, there's a bit more - drive from Broad down the ground. Expected a two there - apologies.

From Paul in Lancs, TMS inbox: "Justin, I am deeply, deeply ashamed at my spelling travesty. Mark in Herts, I don't think anyone was comparing the two; rather the question was who would batter the other in a big fight. Comparative and battering-based studies have entirely incompatible epistemological underpinnings, as you well know, you ironic rascal, you."

1920: Eng 521-5
Broad tries to hoick Baker into Tobago and succeeds only in slicing just short of Nash on the cover boundary. Prior then drives nicely for another two - good running from the England pair, although Tiffin has a moan that they're spiking down the middle of the wicket. Which they probably are.

From Jonathan Watkins, TMS inbox: "Neil, Neil, Neil......having been a virile 25 year old, 10 years ago, in Helsinki, I have been there, done that, and have the divorce papers. Enjoy the dessert tonight as when you go down that aisle, those Finnish women turn off the dessert and its kids, career, house and money.....! Dont fall into the trap....trust me!!"

1916: Eng 516-5
Sloppy from the Windies - Edwards spears one way down leg, Prior misses it and Ramdin can't get there either - four byes. Sir Viv Richards is 57 today, apparently - what a legend. As a child I was genuinely scared of his casual menace at the crease. He was also responsible for me taking to chewing-gum in a big way. Huge.

1912: Eng 508-5
That's not going to help Baker's mood - Broad shovels him away for three before Lazarus Prior tips fine down leg for four more. And there's two more, Broad slashing outside off to get a thick edge down to third man. The tempo has gone from Grieg to Goan Trance.

From Mark in Herts: "Surely comparing Hobsbawm and Ferguson is a little like comparing ohhhhh I don't know any half decent writer to Dan Brown? Surely Ferguson is just a show pony, kind of a tricky little winger who looks pretty but never really makes any real contribution? Hobsbawm is like a meaty decent historian, who whilst you might not agree with you can see the intellectual honesty in his work?"

1909: Eng 497-5

Looked to hit the batsman well outside off-stump, that one - and sure enough, Upstairs Aleem Dar saves his bacon. More red-cheeked shame for The Tiffler.

1909: Eng 497-5

Sax legend Lionel Baker takes the ball as the strains of 10CC's 'Dreadlock Holiday' drifts through the afternoon air. Big appeal for an lbw against Prior - Umpire Tiffin says yes, but Prior asks for the referral!

1905: Eng 496-5
That's a good start - Broad unfurls his pipe-cleaner arms and creams an elegant back-foot drive through the vacant point slot for the first four of the session. Looks like the England pair have been given the old hurry-up by Skipper Strauss over the cucumber and isotonic sandwiches.

From Neil West, TMS inbox: "I am in Helsinki with a woman 10yrs my senior who looks my age, reading the text commentary while she cooks me dinner. Today I have been ice skating, walked on water and had a sauna in the purest Scandanavian sense. I am a very happy virile 25yr old."

1900: Eng 490-5
My giddy aunts - I thought a break might improve things, but it looks like it's got even worse. Less drama in the day so far than the box set of Harbour Lights.

From Justin in Venice, TMS inbox: "Re: Paul in Lancs: Paul, at least get the spelling correct (Hobsbawm) unless you are referring to some ghastly Eric Hobsbawm tribute historian! Here's one for Historian-mania XI, a triple-threat match between, David Starkey, Eric Hobsbawm and Simon Schama with Sir Geoffrey Elton as special guest referee in a 'Personal Insults Through Footnotes Match'. My money would be on Elton stealing the show."

By Ian Westbrook

TEA

1841: Eng 490-5
Baker comes in again, looking more confident since taking Collingwood's wicket, and raps Prior on the pad but no danger of a dismissal. England take a leg-bye off the third ball and Broad again has a chance to get off the mark.

The tall left-hander manages it this time, pushing the ball out into the off-side for two. Gayle makes some field changes as the clock ticks round towards the interval but Baker finally runs in again and Broad fails to score. One ball left before the break....and the ball flies a long way wide of the off-stump and that's the interval.

There have been 33 overs between lunch and tea and the required 60 since the start of the day.

Prior is on 108 and Broad on 2. Surely the interval will produce some serious chat about when England will wind this up and maybe give the West Indies an awkward short session before the close.

Time for me to grab some food - back again in 20 minutes.

1834: Geoffrey Boycott on TMS:

"I think Gayle will try to make this the last over before tea because he doesn't want to bowl more than 30 overs in a session. Nobody's doing anything, three players are talking in the middle of the square and what does this do for Test match cricket?"

1834: Eng 487-5 Collingwood nicks an early single and Broad now faces Simmons for the first time. Again the Nottinghamshire player finds it hard to open his account, almost dragging one ball into his stumps.

Alex, Sheffield, in the TMS inbox: "This is turning into a sham, let's declare at tea and get stuck into them before another Test match meanders away from us!"

1824: WICKET - Collingwood lbw b Baker 161. England 486-5

Chris Gayle seems powerless to stop England strolling towards 500 but he does make a bowling change. Off goes Hinds and back comes Lionel Baker.

Not a good start by the seamer as his first ball flies down the legside for four leg-byes. Better next ball though as Baker raps Collingwood on the pads and yells an lbw appeal. Umpire Tiffin says not out but Gayle asks for a referral, it looks out on Hawk-Eye and after the usual wait....Collingwood is given out. Inspired bowling change by Gayle.

Not surprisingly there is a standing ovation all round the ground as Collingwood marches off - he has played his part in putting England into a strong position here. His partnership with Prior was 218, a record fifth wicket stand for England against West Indies, and it's Stuart Broad in next. He sees out the final four balls comfortably.

Geoffrey Boycott on TMS:

"That's how the referral system should work."

1820:England 482-4 Collingwood starts Simmons' next over by heaving him over mid-wicket for four. Drama next ball as Ramdin whips off the bails and the umpires call for the TV umpire to decide on a possible stumping. TV replays clearly show Collingwood's back foot did not leave the ground and he is reprieved.

Even though there have only been two balls in this over the players have a mini unofficial drinks break.

The action resumes and apart from a Collingwood single, there is no more scoring. At the end of the over, Collingwood on 161 and Prior on 107.

From Nick in Tustin, California, USA in the TMS inbox: "Surely England need to declare soon and try to enforce a win. Why bat on and get 600 when there is little evidence that we can take 20 wickets? Give the bowlers a better chance and surprise the Windies batters a little…"

1814: Hinds continues and Collingwood hits a gentle single. It can hardly be called a run as he and Prior practically walk down to the opposite ends. Prior also takes one and Collingwood but Hinds does enjoy the luxury of three dot balls. Around 25 minutes until tea.

1809: Eng 474-4 Not as much excitement early on in Simmons' next over but England chug on, although Prior suddenly hits out for yet another offside four. Six from the over.

Shots on TV a few minutes ago of captain Andrew Strauss and coach Andy Flower deep in conversation - are they considering when to declare?

PRIOR COMPLETES HIS SECOND TEST CENTURY

1804:

Joyous scenes for Prior as he drives the ball out on to the offside for two and that is it! He completes his second Test century - his first was also against West Indies at Lord's in May 2007, an unbeaten 126.

It looks like he is dedicating his achievement to his new baby son, as he rocks his arms in a cradling motion before raising his bat to all areas of the ground and even finding time to give Collingwood a quick hug.

The landmarks just keep on coming as the 200 partnership comes up later in the over.

James Whicheloe, Tonbridge in the TMS inbox: Could you just say thank you to all of the people who have been sending in their stories becuase it has given me something to enjoy other than this substandard English cricket.

Done James.

1802: Simmons continues and Prior, after having minor trouble with a couple of deliveries, pushes the ball out on to the leg side and reaches 98. No nervous nineties for him it seems.

1800:

Hinds on again and Collingwood starts with a single. This is the third time he has passed 150 and his top score for England is 206, against Australia in Adelaide in 2006. Prior hits two more singles and Collingwood to take England to 462-4 and Prior on to 96.

1756: Applause from the England balcony as Collingwood moves on to 150. He has made the runs in 271 balls with 11 fours. Prior also nearing a landmark, hope that is not the commentator's curse, as he chips the ball safely away for a single. England end Lendl Simmons' over on 458-4.

1753: Collingwood moves on to 146 with a single off the second ball, Prior takes one off the third and Collingwood taps an easy two off the fourth. Runs flowing quickly off Ryan Hinds, who does not appear to be troubling either batsman. Collingwood proves the point with another gentle single but then Hinds does find one to bother Prior and has an lbw appeal turned down.

1750: Prior cuts the first ball after drinks from Lionel Baker but substitute Dwayne Bravo, on for Shivnarine Chanderpaul, makes a diving stop. The wicketkeeper edges the second ball for four to move on to 88. The third deceives him and is snaffled by Denesh Ramdin, standing close up to the stumps, before a nonchalant single takes him on to 89. Collingwood pushes one back before stealing the strike with a single off the last ball. England now on 448-4.

From Andrea Webber in the TMS inbox: "Could Gayle be avoiding using his right-arm quicks to limit the amount of rough they create outside leg-stump, where it would be helpful to the England spinners, especially bowling to the left-handers?"

1745: While Tom goes off to sample the delights of the BBC canteen, I will be your guide up to the tea interval. Keep those e-mails coming in addressed to Tom though.

By Tom Fordyce

From Alastair in Oxon, TMS inbox: "Au contraire, Paul from Lancs. Hobsbawm would find the challenge of repudiating Ferguson's exposition of the inadequacies of his methods enough to tip him into his grave, great man though he is. I think you'll find that Marx's philosophy of history, and Hobsbawm's upright style of pugilism, is dead as that of his politics. It would be like putting Jack Dempsey in the ring against Vladimir Klitschko. Socio-economic history is dead, long live cultural history!"

There's a cheap joke to be made there about Alastair being able to email while in oxen, but I'm certainly not risking it.

1738: Eng 442-4
Crash bang hurrah - Colly leans back and thumps the hiring Tinds - I mean the tiring Hinds - through midwicket for four. Is that drinks? I think it is. Espressos all round? Macchiatos?

From Steve in Plymouth, TMS inbox: "I take issue with Paul in Lancs (17:15) description of Niall Ferguson as a wishy-washy liberal who would be defeated by broad sweeping theoretical hooks. As anyone who has read his books knows, Ferguson uses large amounts of primary data, mostly from financial markets, to illustrate and prove his points. This punchy, take-no-prisoners style is reminiscent of Harmy (at his best) or Brett Lee after being told he cant dress himself, let alone anyone else. Liberal he aint. Grievous he is."

1734: Eng 430-4
The most impressive piece of skill all day as Gayle flicks the ball up with his instep and does all of 20-odd keepy-ups. Ole! Colly reverse-sweeps for a scampered two.

From Graham Galloway, TMS inbox: "Re Paul in Lancs: I'll forgive you your Hobsbawm and raise you an E. P. Thompson as a tag-team against said Ferguson and David Starkey; no contest."

1730: Eng 426-4
Two more singles off Gayle, who's so relaxed his arm barely makes it past his ear - Colly to 130, Prior to 82. Question for England is how long they want to go on for - some chuntering around me that they need to up the tempo, although it's hotter than July out there.

1727: Eng 424-4
Hinds perseveres with his left-arm over; the England pair milk three more singles. Should you wish to explore other live text offerings, I won't take it personally - the always-buoyant Caroline Cheese is currently knee-deep in the thrills of Fulham v Man Utd in the FA Cup. Respect to the Cheese.

From Jonathan Bundock, TMS inbox: "I can go one better than Texas...I have finished cutting a tall hedge nursing a champagne hangover in gloomy Norwich, Norfolk and have just been made a fish-finger sandwich as I lovingly watched my daughter eat soil. Beat that y'all cricket lovers."

1723: Eng 421-4
Drama - we've had some drama! Prior slashes loosely at Hinds and is put down by a snoozing Chanderpaul at first slip. Very, very baggable one that - as bad an error as claiming that England needed to take 22 wickets to win this match. Ahem. That's the 150 partnership - England slowly manoeuvring themselves into a decent position here.

From Duncan in Bradford, TMS inbox: "I am also sickening jealous of Rich in the West Indies and Henry in Texas. I'm currently nursing the hangover from hell, which has not been aided by the £1.50 supermarket own brand ready meal I've just eaten. It is however worth the suffering today, as I did end up having a bizarre random chat with former world champion snooker star Joe Johnson in my local last night."

1717: Eng 411-4
Prior's removed his helmet and gone for the Comptonesque cap instead. Could have brought out a sun-lounger while he was at it, the way this session's gone so far. He aims a wristy leg-side flick at Gayle's non-tweaking tweak and plays all round his front pad, almost bringing a quiet question from the unflappable bowler.

From Rich, TMS inbox: "Henry - its a close call but give me 8 girls dressed in bikinis dancing in front of me in Trinidad while I sip a cool one, over sitting in my pants around a swimming pool in Texas. Though both beat watching at Yates in Grimsby. Enjoy pal."

1715: Eng 411-4
Prior breaks free of the shackles with a back-foot force away through point for his first four in almost two hours. Sing hosannas. 75 now for the shaven-headed stumper.

From Paul in Lancs, TMS inbox: "For perfectly obvious reasons, I am keen to know readers' views on who would win a pugilistic contest between stern but noble Marxist historian Eric Hobshawn and wishy-washy liberal numpty TV historian know-it-all, Niall Ferguson. In my view, Eric, though now a spritely 91, would batter the young pup with a precise mix of incisive factual jabs and broader sweeping theoretical hooks."

It's for emails like that on days like this that you are the Keith Flett of the BBC text commentary, Paul in Lancs.

1712: Eng 401-4
Applause as the 400 comes up with a gentle edge from Colly from the slow non-tweak of Hinds. Not quite sure how England are going to take 20 wickets on this track.

1706: Eng 396-4
As if by magic, and with the sounds of Haddaway's "What Is Love?" floating through the afternoon ether, Colly drags a wide one fine with a slapping sweep for a four. You might be looking at the scoreboard and wondering how anyone could possibly complain about this - England cruising, both batsmen well set - but this feels like the 19th day of a Timeless Test, viewed through spectacles of glue, having accidentally swallowed a sedative designed for an elephant with toothache.

1702: Eng 391-4
Singles singles singles. I don't think we've had anything as exciting as a two since lunch. Doesn't bode well for the afternoon ahead, this.

From Charlie in Clapham via text: "Re Rich in the west indies. I HATE you. I'm currently sat in a cold room in Clapham, with a ridiculous moustache I'm growing for a bet, doing tax revision."

1657: Eng 383-4
Singles left, right, forward and back. The torpor is broken briefly as the Digicel dollies place themselves directly in front of three delighted England fans and get busy with the bumping. The traditionalists won't like it, but as noted cricket fan R Kelly once told us, ain't nuthin' wrong with a little bump and grind.

1651: Eng 379-4
After that brief over of ooh and aah, we're back to easy singles and tepid atmos. With the exception of a few sessions in Antigua and the final one in Jamaica, this must be the least exciting Test series in donkey's. Come on cricket - wake me up before you go-go.

From Henry, studying furiously at University of North Texas, TMS inbox: "I take your Freddie Mercury 1.50 beers and go one further, sat in the back garden of a friends house in North Texas, next to the swimming pool, in 25 degrees and therefore only my shorts and my flaking chest, with a beer and a cigarette, and wondering whether or not to ring in a pizza or get in the pool, ooh the choices."

1647: Eng 374-4
Gayle brings himself on, and he nearly has to pat himself on the back - he beats Prior outside off-stump a remarkable four times. If this makes sense, it was the complete lack of turn and bounce that fooled him - Prior was playing that as if it was Derek Underwood on a wet dog.

1644: Eng 374-4
Hello again - with Hinds twirling fruitlessly and singles on offer all over the place, it's like you've never been away.

From Rich, TMS inbox: "Am currently dressed as Freddie Mercury sat behind the Digicel dancers in the Trini Posse stand watching England build up an impressive first innings score and drinking beer at one pound fifty a go. If anyone is having a better time than me right now I'd be interested to know."

LUNCH

1600: Eng 372-4

Another paddle for four from Colly - 99 - and there's another to bring up the ton. Standing ovation from the England fans - Colly de-lids, shakes hands with a beaming Prior and swats his blade at the applauding England balcony. That Colly's second century of the series, his fourth against the Windies and his ninth in Tests in total. He'll have tougher days, no doubt about it - but who would deny him a moment in the sun?

That'll be luncheon too. See you in 40.

From Professor Graham Turner, TMS inbox: "Nowt wrong with 'conflab' -everyone says it, everyone knows what it means, dictionary editors accept it: no error in sight there!"

1555: Eng 362-4
One-day special from Colly, going down on one knee to paddle Nash round the corner for four. 94 not out now for le toiler gingero.

1552: Eng 357-4
Chuckles from those still awake as the throw back to bowler Hinds falls short and cracks Umpire Tiffin on the bonce. Hinds makes a silent "oooh" shape with his mouth like a schoolboy wanting to laugh at Teacher but afraid of the repercussions.

1548: Eng 353-4
Nash again, his medium dobblers the antithesis of the Windies pace menace of yore, and yawns echo around the Queen's Park stands.

1543: Eng 351-4

As Vic Marks on TMS has just pointed out, this is like the middle overs of a particularly meaningless 50-over match. Gayle seems happy to let England tickle along at three or four an over, handing away singles with a long-on for Hinds' gentle tweak. Prior helps himself to the easiest of runs to move to his seventh Test half-century, and celebrates by draining another half-bottle of orange fluid.

1539: Eng 343-4
75 this pair have put on, and with 25 minutes to go until lunch it's a cakewalk at the moment. Sarwan dives to his left at mid-on to cut off a Colly push, but Powell then drops short and is pulled away for the simplest of singles. Windies - where is your sting? Showing all the anger and passion of Steve Harmison after a large lunch, the home side.

1535: Eng 340-4
Colly to 77 with a square drive for four from Nash, and the pressure has come right off - what's Gayle's game here? He had England wobbling badly this morning, but with Nash and Powell on he's shepherding England onwards like an obsequious waiter.

1530: Eng 330-4
Powell drops short and wide and Colly helps himself to a stabbing square cut. Hinds makes a stinking mess of the attempted save on the boundary and that's a free four. Colly is then slapped bang on the back pad - looks a nailed-on ell bee, but Umpire Tiffin smells an inside edge. Hmmm.

1526: Eng 325-4
Behave yourself, Matty P - he tries to run Nash away to third man and nearly thins it behind to Stumper Ramdin. Singles given away everywhere by Gayle, and Colly is up to 70.

1523: Eng 322-4
Ah, that's nice - Prior cuts wristily behind point for his seventh four of the day, and he's up to 40 already - run a ball, aided by those flukey edges earlier doors. Is that the 50 partnership too? I believe it is. Prior is calling for drinks - it's only 10 minutes since his last one, but he glugs down a bottle of orange stuff like a thirsty babber.

1518: Eng 316-4
Bong. Bong. Bong. It's trundle o'clock, courtesy of Toiler Nash. Three off the over, and this man is to Test bowling what James Blunt is to soul music.

1513: Eng 313-4
Singles all over the place as Powell struggles, although that's a beauty last ball up - a rapid yorker that Prior shovels out at the last gasp. Dance-off temporarily halted, although it looks like they're simply taking a breather. Warm work, from the look of it.

1504: Eng 305-4
Single to Colly as Simmons makes a fine diving stop in the gully, and that's drinks. I'll have a Carib with Digicel chaser, please.

1458: Eng 305-4
Good and bad from Prior in two balls - a sumptuous drive through cover for four, followed by a woeful one-hand poke which sends the ball spiralling just short of point. Re the sponsors' sweet-cheeks - there seems to be some sort of dance-off in progress between the Carib crackers and the Digicel dollies. Commentator gulps, blinks eyes disbelievingly, dabs at brow with large handkerchief.

From Django Squarepants, TMS inbox: "Re 14.14 Whatever they're talking about on the balcony, there's no such word as conflab. Should be a fattening breakfast cereal, perhaps - and maybe what Shah had this morning the time it took him to set off for his doomed single. (The real abbreviation is confab - from confabulation and I really do have nothing better to do!)."

Biggup Django - I've been making that error for years. Supa work.

1454: Eng 299-4
Huzzah and hurrah, whichever you prefer - Colly rocks back and middles one for the first time today, pulling a short one from outside off through midwicket for a lip-smacker of a boundary. As on the first day, the sponsor's dolly-birds are capturing the attention of the TV cameras. How they manage to squeeze the whole of the logo on clothes that small I'll never know. The miracles of science.

1450: Eng 293-4
Streaky again from Prior - two more fat edges through the cordon for two more boundaries. He does that characteristic squint-grimace back down the track and blinks in the bright sunshine.

1445: Eng 280-4
Now that's more like it - Prior leans into a fuller one and drives it on the up through the vacant cover slot. Super shot. Re the Aussies - after their home defeat by SA before Xmas, I remember writing: "England fans will be wary of celebrating too loudly, fearful that, like a monster in a horror film, the Aussie corpse will suddenly flick open an eye and stagger to its feet, roaring wildly before devouring every Englishman within reach." It's happening again, isn't it - it's happening again...

1440: Eng 276-4
Gaagh - Prior's temporarily lost all sense of where his off-peg is. After another flourish meets nothing but warm tropical air, a thick edge flies straight through the narrow corridor between third slip and gully for a fortuitous four.

1435: Eng 272-4
Maiden from Edwards as Prior wafts haplessly miles outside off. By the way - you seen what's going on in Durban? Mitchell Johnson has smashed Graeme Smith's finger and spilt Jacques Kallis's blood with a bouncer which hit him under the chin. We're doomed, I tell ye - doomed!

1431: Eng 272-4
KP suns himself in the stands, clad only in shortened shorts and sleeveless blouson. Prior punches a wayward one from Baker away for three, and Collingwood then swipes with one of the ugliest cover drives you'll ever not see but read about in a text commentary. If that shot was in New Kids On The Block, it would be Danny.

1426: Eng 269-4
The Windies are clambering all over England now - fine fielding, pace and menace from Fidel Edwards. No thoughts this morning about playing for a draw. New man Prior tucks a single away to get off the quacker, and he needs to stay in with Colly - the England tail is as long as a giraffe's polo-neck.

From John (and Louise, Ralf, Paddy, Bill and The Doc), TMS inbox: "We are staying at the Hilton Trinidad, along with thrifty Yorkshire and England legend Geoffrey Boycott. You may like to know that this morning the great man filled two suitcase-sized doggy bags from the breakfast bar, which should keep him going in the commentary box until Armageddon. I wouldn't mind but there was no crispy bacon or cinnamon rolls left when I went up."

1420: WICKET - Shah run out 33, Eng 268-4

Strauss looked gutted with that, and you can't blame him - never good getting bowled round your legs. The new batsman is an old one - it's Owais Shah, back from Cramp City. That's a dreamy four down the ground, but what's that? A suicide single, that's what - a dab into the on-side, a tortuous toil down the track and a cry of dismay as Bravo's throw destroys the stumps. Two overs, two wickets - the sub fielder was quick, but Shah's judgement and pace were seriously off...

1414: WICKET - Strauss b Edwards 142, Eng 263-3

On the England balcony, team selector James Whittaker and assistant coach Andy Flower are knee-deep in a serious conflab. Pens are being pointed, chins scratched. On the subject of Ramdin, always imagined his old man intended him to be christened Dennis but was so stricken with nerves during the birth that he sank too many rums, and was thus a little sloshy when talking to the registrar. But enough of such meaningless prittle-prattle - the skipper's gone! Edwards spots Strauss edging across to the off-side and bends one round behind his pads to just clip the top of leg stump.

1410: Eng 263-2
Lionel Baker, who sounds like he should be a sax player in Alexander O'Neal's backing band, strays onto Strauss's chunky pads and is clipped away for three. Another goes leggish, and only a full-length sprawl from stumper Denesh Ramdin prevents the byes.

From Alex, TMS inbox: "Yesterday's play was so monotonous I thought Sky had just taped one over from each bowler and was just playing it on a loop."

1406: Eng 260-2
Ooof - bit of a waft from Collingwood outside off, and there was a bit of away-shape on that. The ball's still creeping through, however, and those three slips might want to creep in a little. Colly practises his off-shovel and then dinks round the corner for a jogged two. A very pleasant pastel blue up overhead, although the Trini stands only patchily inhabited.

1400: Teams are out, and the Windies have taken the new ball at some point between close of play last night and off-we-go this morning. Fidel Edwards limbers his timbers as Skipper Strauss waits at the non-striker's on 139.

1350: Like Han Solo post-freeze, he was. Except for the fag-ash on his grey cardigan. Now then - England looking for 450 minimum, you'd think, although the pitch looks slower and flatter than a juggernauted hedgehog.

1345: Might be an idea to keep fingers crossed in a Shah-style rictus that today's play is a little spicier than Friday's. I'm not saying Dirsy was bored, but when I came in earlier he was still sitting motionless at his desk, mouth agape, staring into the distance like a Vietnam vet.

1339: Afternoon all - the weekend treating you well?

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