BBC Sportcricket

Hashim Amla became the third centurion of the South Africa follow-on as the first Test at Lord's ended in a draw.

Amla shared 152 with Neil McKenzie, who spent more than nine dogged hours at the crease for his 138 before edging a wide delivery shortly after lunch.

Ryan Sidebottom bowled the ball of the match, a magical yorker to bowl Jacques Kallis, but it was a rare highlight.

Amla's fine display of application resulted in his fifth Test ton as the tourists closed on 393-3, 47 ahead.

606: DEBATE Discuss the day's play on 606

By Tom Fordyce

MATCH DRAWN

1650: That must be it.... and it is. Glad we came out for those extra two overs. Amla finishes on 104, The Fresh Prince on 13. Excellent rear-guarder from the tourists - we'll go again in Leeds on Friday.

Hats off as always for the excellence of the contributions. On today's performance you're all in squad for the next one.

From Simon Levell: "There once was a batsman called Cookie/ Who as a bowler was a bit of a rookie/ But on this farcical last day/ Even he wanted to play/ Now the only winner is the bookie."

1650: SA 393-3
Lordy - it is. Alastair Cook bowls his first over in Test cricket, and there's just a single off it.

1647: SA 392-3
KP comes in off one pace. When even he can't be bothered, it really is time to sack it off. Hold on - is Alastair Cook coming on to bowl? Let's have a limerick to sum all this up.

1645: To continue the fantasy theme, Kevin Pietersen's going to take the next over. The batsmen were virtually in the showers.

1642: Graeme Smith has his head in his hands. Relax, big man - you're not going to lose.

1640: You've got to love cricket. The match is still officially on, apparently, despite the fact that both sets of players think it's all over. They'll make a decision in 10 minutes, apparently. Hold on - they're coming back on...

1636: SA 385-3

1631: SA 385-3
We're almost at the point where they're going through the motions. Single off Malfoy for Amla to crawl to 97.

From Paul Nichols, TMS inbox: "Colly comes on after tea/ The score is 380 for 3/ With his place on the line/ He takes 7 for 9/ What a wonderful world it would be.."

1625: SA 384-3
Colly, staring down the wrong end of a lonely trip back to Chester-le-Street, serves up a wide one to Limpet and is uncharacteristically flayed over gully for a racy four to move to 96. The lead is now 36. Anyone believe in miracles?

1620: SA 376-3
New ball for Malfoy, and unless Siders has decided to bowl in trainers rather than spikes, there'll be no more 'bottom today. Amla pops a short sitter-upper away for three through cover.

From Giles Hefer, TMS inbox: "There is a young batsman from Durban/ Whose beard is as big as a curtain/ Vaughan said "follow-on"/ And Hasim stood strong/ So now his position is certain."

1614: SA 372-3
Four overs since tea, four maidens. Mont squeals an appeal as Prince plunges forward, but Harper is as likely to give that as he is to skip a light fandango and turn cartwheels on the floor.

From David Wallace (meant for tea interval): "Let two drinks be spiked with strong schnapps/ And mixed in with whisky, perhaps/ The effect of this brew/ (Just between me and you)/ Should lead to a Saffer collapse."

1610: SA 372-3
A curse passes Malfoy's lips as a spiky in-jagger rips past Amla's off-stump with the blade high and dry. Amla stays put on 88 off 219 deliveries.

From Pete Blott in Lutterworth: "We're really not in with a shout/ Of getting South Africa out/ I'd be hard to convince/ That Amla and Prince/ Couldn't stay there all day scoring nowt."

1606: SA 372-3
Spitter from Monty from the rough outside Prince's off-peg, but the stalwart whips his willow away. Second maiden on the bounce; new ball due shortly.

From Peter in Preston, TMS inbox: "Online cricket pundit Fordyce/ Sought to enlist his readers advice/ About dismissing the Boks/ During defensive knocks/ Kallis gone, 7 more would be nice."

1603: SA 372-3
What's that - how long have we got left? A maximum of 29 overs, although stumps can be drawn with 15 overs left if we're going nowhere. Broad strides in to Amla, and it's a steely maiden to get us going again.

From Tom Wheeler, TMS inbox: "On a pitch lacking movement or malice/ Ryan Sidebottom snuck one through Kallis/ Then we skittled them out/ Won the series four-nowt/ And earned knighthoods all round at Buck Palace."

TEA

1541: SA 372-3
Ooof - leading edge from Amla squeaks past Ian Bell at short mid-off, but there's no more drama - tea taken with SA 26-3 as the crow flies. Monty's now bowled 58 overs without taking a wicket. Probably best not to mention that to him over the cucumber sarnies.

From Neil in Manchester: "As the chances of victory grew slimmer/ Vaughan turned to his trusty young spinner/ The wickets soon tumbled/ South Africans humbled/ And Monty was hailed as matchwinner."

1538: SA 371-3
Malfoy again, and The Limpet angles away a single before The Fresh lets 'em go. Time for one more from Monty?

From Richard Sykes, TMS inbox: "Day one saw us building a great score/ Day two saw us rack it up more/ Day three blew our mind/ Day four just a grind/ And Day five just an old-fashioned bore."

1535: SA 370-3
Prince goes back and clips Monts off his pads for two. SA now 24-3 in real terms, and England need another scalp before tea.

From David B, TMS inbox: "At the ancestoral home of cricket/ The English all wanted eight wickets/ The Proteas laughed/ At bowling so daft/ And told Michael Vaughan he could stick it."

1530: SA 367-3
He's got him - no! Malfoy jags one away from The Fresh but Cook puts down the snag at second slip. Very catchable, that - he went at it in panicky fashion, and it caught him near the right wrist. Malfoy clutches his head in dismay.

From Scott in Surbiton, TMS inbox: "With bowlers like Jimmy and Broad/ You'd think they'd be put to the sword/ It started so well/ Now fat Graeme's made it hell/ And now we're just all really bored."

1527: SA 367-3
Dangerous tactics from The Fresh - he plonks that right leg down the track again without playing a shot, but once again Umpo Harper shakes his head. Hawk-Eye reckons that one was going through the middle of middle.

1524: SA 364-3
Malfoy Broad back into the breech. Amla keeps his blade out of the way until a thunking drive off the toe-end for two.

From secretlysomeoneelse, TMS inbox: "Eat limerick, Fordyce: There was a young spinner called Monty/ Whose hands were bigger than Jonty's/ He skittled the Saffers/ With a series of Jaffas/ That marvellous young spinner called Monty."

Nope - I wouldn't have attached my real name to that sorry mess either.

1520: SA 362-3
Goodness - The Fresh Prince thrusts a pad outside off while withdrawing his blade, and Monty's eyes almost pop out as the entire England team howl like baboons - Umpire Harper turns his head sideways and then says no. Next ball looks even closer, but again Harper's finger stays housed. Prince then finally lays a flicking blade on one and almost sends it down Vaughan's throat at leg slip. It's all happening...

1517: SA 362-3
Lovely late cut from Limpet as Siders strays. Different atmos out there now - what can Monty magic up next?

From Dorrien Price, TMS inbox: "There was a young bowler from Luton/ Whose spin would deceive even Newton/ When you gave him the ball/ The wickets would fall/ And the SA batsmen disappeared like Lucan."

Bit clunky in that final line, Dorrien, but otherwise a smashing job. Who do I think I am - FR Leavis?

1512: SA 358-3
First-innings hero Prince trots out to join Limpet Amla. Monty skips in and almost squeezes one under Amla's jabbing blade. All manner of chirp now round the bat.

From Vince Towns, TMS inbox: "It's got to be Michael Vaughan's call/ To give our Monty the ball/ There'll be such a din/ When he conjures his spin/ And finally gets rid of them all."

1507: WICKET - Kallis b Sidebottom 13, SA 357-3

1502: SA 357-2
Colly jogs in to Amla in an over so lacking excitement that it will never be mentioned again.

From Jamie Lloyd, TMS inbox: "There was a man called Sidey/ His bowling was quite tidy/ But against the Boks/ He had no luck/ Zhaark could bat til Friday!"

Points lost for that penultimate line, Jamie - the only it works is if Kallis is playing Minor Counties cricket for Bucks.

1458: SA 355-2
Getting rid of McKenzie only to find Zhaark up next is a bit like St George turning round after polishing off the dragon to spot Medusa and the rest of Gorgons coming round the corner. Maiden.

1454: SA 355-2
Squirt off his squat pads by Zhaark Kallis, and the lead is now nine. I'll open the floor to limericks that might conjure up eight more wickets for England.

1451: SA 354-2
Bless you, Mitch, for bigging-up my rusty stumper antics. Now then - anyone know any wicket-dances or stump spells? Single off Siders.

By Mark Mitchener

1448: SA 353-2
Monty gets a couple to turn from outside leg stump as Amla shoulders arms and gets hit in the shirtfront for his trouble. Another twirler beats everyone and sails through for four byes. Tom Fordyce, an excellent wicket-keeper himself who would probably have snaffled that one and whipped the bails off, is in the house and is taking over matters again.

"In reply to Lawrence Mitchell, isn't Tim Ambrose an Aussie?"
Anthony in the TMS inbox

1440: SA 349-2
Sidey replaces Anderson at the Pavilion End, Amla carves one down to third man for three, and the tourists are ahead, reaching 349-2 - so they are "net" 3-2. Time for a drinks break.

"Garry Park was born and schooled in South Africa without a doubt. He played a few games for my club side Crusaders in Durban where his brother 'Snoekie' Park was a member. Does surprise me that he is a fully qualified Englishman already... Next week it's Azeem Rafiq's chance to have the honour of donning the 3 Lions"
James in the TMS inbox

1435: SA 346-2
Amla is content to get forward to Monty, while CMJ returns to the TMS box with an "intriguing pudding" according to Aggers. Amla pushes a single past square leg, as does Kallis, and Lord's is empty enough for Aggers and co to hear an audible "grunt" from Monty as he delivers the ball. Another single brings the scores level.

"Is Neil McKenzie the most defensive batsmen in recent memory? His innings must surely have the worst strike rate for many a year. Freddie back for the 2nd Test is a must and at Collingwoods expense I'm afraid"
Thomas Armstrong in the TMS inbox

1432: SA 343-2
Aggers on TMS reveals his admiration for Amla's improvement as a batsman, and the bearded number three ducks out of the way of another short ball from Anderson as he's done all day, before hooking another bouncer to square leg for a single.

"If AB de Villiers is buried in a Jeffrey Archer, let's hope it's 'A twist in the tale'."
Tim, a rather overcast Beverley, in the TMS inbox
[Maybe de Villiers would prefer 'Kane and AB' instead - MM]

1428: SA 342-2
Amla dabs a single off Monty, then a loose ball is despatched to the mid-wicket fence by Kallis, and Monty has now conceded 104 runs in 50 overs.

"Is this turgid pile of nonsense reciprocation for Mike Atherton�s 185 not out in Johannesburg in 1995?"
Ben Hampson in the TMS inbox

1425: SA 337-2
Kallis sees off a maiden from Anderson, it's all pretty tame at this stage.

"Park, Ambrose, Pietersen and Strice [Strauss] all Saffers in the English team. It kinda takes the fun out of beating the poms, not like it used to be"
Lawrence Mitchell, Not from Empangeni, in the TMS inbox/in-Boks

1421: SA 337-2
Aggers on TMS momentarily confuses fellow commentator Mark Pougatch with spinner Monty Panesar, who allows Amla a nudged single to leg and Kallis a pinch-the-strike-off-the-last-ball single which reduces England's lead to single figures. They're only nine runs ahead now.

1419: SA 335-2
Amla punches a single through the covers off Anderson, while bizarrely, a few wolf-whistles ring out around the ground. Kallis gets a thick outside edge past gully which gets him off the mark as it runs away for four.

"Oh no, three great days and still no chance of victory. What hope do we have in the upcoming Tests? Also I am becoming quite fond of the beard of Hashim Amla"
Steve in Hull in the TMS inbox

1414: SA 330-2
Amla calls Kallis for a quick single, and the new man defends the rest of Monty's over.

"If you do get a wicket, expect there to be a Ricky Ponting-2005 Ashes style rant from disgruntled South Africans, at the use of substitute commentators to take wickets while the regular commentator is away from the computer..."
Dominic Woodford in the TMS inbox
[Dominic sent this before the wicket fell, I can hear the Pontingesque complaints heading my way... MM]

1411: SA 329-2
New batsman Jacques Kallis plays his first ball back to the bowler, and Alison Mitchell at pitchside confirms that Strauss has left the ground as his wife has gone into labour. Our best wishes to the family.

"I flat shared with a Mark Mitchener at Cardiff University in 96/97, could you be that Mark?"
Tom Sanderson in the TMS inbox
[The very same! Hope you're doing well - MM]

1404: SA 327-1
Interesting scenes as South Africa captain Graeme Smith emerges as a runner for McKenzie, who must be very tired by now and needed some physio treatment last night. Monty bowls over the wicket in the manner of Ashley Giles, and McKenzie is perfectly happy to pad up to anything pitching outside leg stump, with no fear of lbw. Only for the sixth ball does Monty move round the wicket - a fairly pointless maiden over.

1401: SA 327-1
Andrew Strauss leaves the field to be replaced by a sub fielder (MCC young cricketer Rob Woodman), and TMS pitchside reporter Alison Mitchell reveals that Strauss's wife Ruth is due to give birth to their second child any day - presumably he might have been waiting for an important call. Amla reaches 65 with a single off Anderson, then McKenzie cuts towards Cook at gully - but his only risk of dismissal would have been if the "one hand one bounce" rule was invoked. McK knocks a single through the covers, and Amla is happy to shoulder arms as Jimmy gets a bit of reverse swing.

1356: SA 325-1
CMJ on TMS notes that summariser Shaun Pollock could never have been accused of picking the seam... as he bites his fingernails. With the game slipping away from England, Amla knocks Monty away for a single.

1354: SA 324-1
Anderson replaces Colly at the Pavilion End, McKenzie bludgeons one towards the square leg boundary where a superb diving stop by Broad restricts him to a single. Amla carves a single through the covers, and the Proteas trail by just 22 runs now. AB de Villiers is still reading that Jeffrey Archer book he was yesterday (see Day 4's live text), he's nearing the end now.

"Surely Michael Vaughan made a big error late on Sunday afternoon by not using James Anderson more. He persevered with Ryan Sidebottom when Anderson was bowling at least 6mph quicker. A BAD mistake in my opinion"
Stephen Jones in the TMS inbox

1349: SA 322-1
Monty still twirling away to Amla, who carves him through backward point for four. The TV camera takes a long pan across the denizens of the Lord's media centre, and I think I've just spotted our very own Oliver Brett.

"Anyone know the nationality of the 12th man for England yesterday? I know a Garry Park, but swear he's South African!"
Anon, via text on 81111
[Park was indeed born in Empangeni, Natal, SA - MM]

1345: SA 318-1
It's Colly to continue from the Pavilion End, and McKenzie (on 131 not out) turns his first ball straight to the man at short mid-wicket. Vaughan immediately brings in a Reasonably Short Extra Cover, but McKenzie gets the scoreboard ticking again with a nudged single to fine leg. Amla carefully feathers one to the square leg boundary to take his score to 58, before a perfectly-punched straight drive brings four for McKenzie. Colly does get one to dart in late though.

1336: Right, Tom's just taking a break, so you've got me in the chair for a bit of metaphorical substitute fielding, though I can assure you I won't be in the action as much as England's 12th man Garry Park was yesterday. Let's see if I can take a wicket or two.

By Tom Fordyce

LUNCH INTERVAL

1300: SA 312-1
Mont drops a fraction short and is driven off the pingy part of the bat through extra cover for a gentle roller of a four. And that's lunch - the partnership's unbroken on 108, and England need a post-lunch collapse of Adelaide proportions to snag this one now. Time for a lucky sandwich.

From Carol on Portugal, TMS inbox: "I'll come along to Lithuania -as well as helping Sally with the scoring, my coronation chicken and aubergine parmesan are both to die for."

From Margie in Barcelona, TMS inbox: "Re. Lithuania tour. Will you be wanting cheerleaders as at Twenty20 games, or will you be going for the more traditional test match ambience? If it is the former, I've got the girls for you. We can shake our pom-poms like nobodies business."

From Gareth in Birmingham: "Is it too cheeky to volunteer for your job on the eagerly anticipated Lithuania tour? I'm an expert at both checking emails and watching the cricket and therefore would be a invaluable member of the team."

1258: SA 308-1
Maiden from Colly. Who needs Fred? McKenzie has now faced 428 balls for his 131. On the radio version of TMS, Boycott is drooling like a happy toddler.

From BBC Sport's Oliver Brett at Lord's
"There's about as much buzz here as in a dentist's waiting-room, I'm afraid. I think I have found where all the much-fabled South African WAGs are sitting, but my binoculars aren't the greatest."

1254: SA 308-1
0-87 off 43 now for Monty - maybe we should forgive him the odd daydream.

From Shane in London, TMS inbox: "Did you know that Lithuanians are the second tallest nation in the world (behind the Dutch)? Some handy quickies in there I bet."

1250: SA 307-1
"Here you go," Skipper Vaughan says to Colly, throwing him the ball, "save your Test place." Colly wobbles in and bends one into The Wall's shins but Umpire Bowden declines the bellow. Another leggish one is flicked fine for two down to a daydreaming Monty at long leg.

1246: SA 304-1
Change of approach by Mont - he tries to tempt McKenzie with loopers outside off. The Wall gets a thick inside edge onto his front pad but the ball plops safely down the track.

1240: SA 303-1

1235: SA 294-1
Same again from Mont - six tweakers into leg-stump rough which McKenzie pads away. Tiny Tim then decides to stand up to Siders - after Amla squeezes a single, The Wall remains impenetrable.

From Graham in Barcelona, TMS inbox: "Re Vilnius. I'm game for anything. No. 1 'left-handed sheet anchor' would be my spot, like at school, where on one occasion we were 93 without loss after 9 overs, of which I had contributed 3."

1230: SA 293-1
Steady from Siders but no more - six easys angled across. A man in the crowd has fashioned a rakish hat from the pages of a broadsheet newspaper. It's the sort of thing Jamiroquai might wear if he favoured cricket over constantly releasing the same insipid faux-funk song again and again.

From Damian Eite, TMS inbox: "Will you need an all-rounder in the Kevin Pietersen/Monty Panesar mould in Lithuania? Unfortunately I bowl like KP and bat like Monty but I am available if required."

1225: SA 292-1
Jacques Kallis just visible in the shadows behind Smith, his eyes blinking slowly in the dark like a porky lizard's. Monty twirls into the rough outside McKenzie's leg-stump and is ignored like a doorbell-ringing salesman.

1221: SA 291-1
Anguish for the returning Siders as he angles a wide one across Macca and nearly induces the snicker to the slips. Macca steals a single before Amla tucks into a floppy half-volley on leg-stump to pick up four to the midwicket fence. McKenzie on 123, Amla 46. On the SA balcony, Graeme Smith is wearing the sort of solid, practical sunglasses that you might see on a serious fisherman perched on a canal tow-path.

From Sally Hogbin, TMS inbox: "I'd be keen for the Lithuania tour - I can't bat or bowl but I can do the scoring with different coloured pens and am a dab hand at egg mayo sandwiches."

1216: SA 286-1
Monty stands with hands on hips as a ripper bounces and bites to beat Amla's prod outside off. A shorter one then induces a back-ffoot slash whcih sends an edge flying though where a second slip might have been. It's a start...

1213: SA 282-1
After a Monty maiden and nasty technical issues on my PC which prevent me reporting on it promptly, Malfoy whistles one past Amla's outside edge for the first time today. The Bearded Wonder responds with a crashing back-foot drive through point for a lusty four and a swat through midwicket for three more as Malfoy strays.

From Alex in Tonbridge, TMS inbox: "Minsk in Belarus and Tunis in Tunisia. Although the Ukrainians spell Kiev Kyiv which would be another."

1207: SA 275-1
Let's hope England glugged down some vim and vigour during that break. Broad tears in from the Pavilion and is bunted away off the toe of the bat by Amla for a sluggish two.

From Mike in London: "Re: Pat from Bristol, colouring in capital cities - must the cities be spelt in uppercase or lowercase letters? Makes a difference to colourability (e vs E, r vs R, etc)."

1159: SA 272-1
Dead bat after dead bat, and that's the drinks break. Not a glimmer of a sniff of a whisper of a chance all morning. Hmmm.

From Dazzla on text: "Put me down for Lithuania tour. I am an all-rounder, poor with the bat, poor with the ball and useless in the field but someone is bound to be sent home after some scandal with a Lithuanian lady and a litre of vodka. You will need me."

1153: SA 271-1
Cheers around Lord's as Skipper Vaughan waves Monty back into the attack. McKenzie drives clunkily for two past extra cover. Monty flaps his massive palms like excited bats.

1150: SA 269-1
Amla jumps into another Jimmy lifter and somehow misses all five leg-side fielders to hurry through for a single. Macca then plops a gentle drive through the covers for two.

From Chris in Stockport, TMS inbox: "I'll bat at 6. Like Paul Collingwood, I bowl a decent medium pace and I can't bat for toffee. My highest score is 13; which came at the height of my cricketing prowess. I was 14."

1145: SA 264-1
Malfoy angles them in from over the wicket and McKenzie runs one down off the pace through gully for a no-sweat four. Wicket needed.

From Erik Orrgarde, TMS inbox: "I am Swedish and so have never played cricket. Would like to try it though. I think batting at number 11 but also not being able to bowl will suit me just fine. Am I in?"

1139: SA 259-1
It's like 1933 all over again - Vaughan now has five men in catching positions on the leg-side for Amla. There are two leg slips in, a short square leg, an ordinary square leg and a short midwicket. He'll have Ambrose at silly mid-on in a minute. Jimmy bangs them in and Amla fends anxiously.

From Pat in Bristol, TMS inbox: "Re: the reader from Lithuania at 11.10 - did you know that Vilnius is one of three capital cities than contain no letters that can be coloured in? Can any readers name the other two?"

1135: SA 258-1
Siders is sent off in medium dudgeon - in his place we'll have some Broad belligerence. Two men in shortish on either side of the track to get into Macca's eye-line, but he stands firm with unblinking calm.

From Alex McLellan in Grays, TMS inbox: "I'm in for the Lithuania tour. I bowl leg spin and bat like a windmill at 8 if poss. I'm like Shahid Afridi, except on Temazepam."

1131: SA 258-1
Skipper Vaughan thumbs his nose at Jimmy by leaving just one slip in - although to be fair to him he's packing the leg-side with catchers in Jardine fashion. Amla shoulders arms to a brutal rib-tickler down leg and just fails to skinny an edge through to a yelling Tiny Tim.

1126: SA 257-1
Stern defence from Amla and Macca. Siders is keeping a slant-across angle going against the right-handers but Amla won't be tempted.

From Dan in North Yorks, TMS inbox: "I'll bat at four and can bowl a few dibbly dobbly off-spinners. I also speak fluent Lithuanian so could act as the team interpreter. That last bit's a lie, but if you pick me I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

1123: SA 256-1
Mixed bag from Jimmy. Amla gets jumpy with the short stuff but pings away a legside drifter for an easy four to the midwicket fence. Lord's no more than half full, with the majority of punters going for a bask on the top deck of the stands.

1119: SA 252-1
Siders trundles in at not much more than Colly pace. There's less menace in this pitch than in an episode of Harbour Lights.

1115: SA 250-1
Jimmy tries to spear one in on Amla's leg-stump and is popped away off the middle for four through square leg. He follows up with a shorter one which Amla turns his beard away from and takes on the midriff a la Brian Close. Ouch.

From Peter Vine, TMS inbox: "Tom, when you say 'old trousers' and 'Euros' does that mean you still haven't washed all the clothes you wore while covering the Rugby World Cup in France last year?"

All or any?

1110: SA 246-1
Hmmm - Monty's only having that first over - he's being replaced by Siders. Steady enough left-arm over, but zero wobble either way. South Africa exactly 100 runs behind.

From Alistair in Lithuania, TMS inbox: "Re your 40 euros, come to vilnius, I'll arrange a game of cricket for you against the Lithuania national team, and you can buy a round for everyone."

Right - let's get a team together. I'll be greedy and open plus keep wicket - who else fancies a joust?

1106: SA 246-1
Jimmy A scampers in from the Nursery End, and that's a super over of zingy menace - a cut-backer that zips past Amla's off-peg and a shorter one that has the bearded one ducking backwards like a rearing horse.

From Paul in Lancs, TMS inbox: "Given the possibility of recession, you need to invest your euros wisely. Can I suggest you invest them in my own recently established hedge fund, set up specifically to make decent returns for individual investoes like yourself during a bear market. See www.fleeceaeuroladensportsjourno.co.uk for more details of where to send the cash."

1102: SA 246-1
Screams from the close-in fielders (slip, silly mid-off, short square leg) as McKenzie almost bad-pads into the waiting palms. He then drills a fuller one into the covers for the first four of the morning.

From John, TMS inbox: "Re: Paul Harris - Peter Schmeichel scored 11 professional goals, 6 for Hvidovre IF, 2 for Brondy, 1 for Manchester United and 1 for Aston Villa."

1058: Here come the players - Monty warming up with the enthusiasm of a man who's been told he could be opening the bowling.

From L Bradshaw, TMS inbox: "When you say 'old' do you mean 'dirty' as presumably said notes had not seen the inside of a washing machine?"

L - don't you know that it's illegal to deal in laundered currency?

1050: Apparently, if South Africa keep scoring at the same rate as on Sunday, they'll be 37 ahead by tea and 80 ahead by the evening drinks interval. Have the mathmaticians forgotten about the Theory of Monticity?

From Mark Scales, TMS inbox: "Fancy putting those two twenty Euro notes on an England victory?"

From BBC Sport's Oliver Brett at Lord's:"The regular six-a-side footie game that the South Africans play at 10am was conducted in a more upbeat mood than on previous mornings. Andre Nel's man-marking of Graeme Smith was like Thomas Hitzlsperger at Euro 2008. Some boisterous kids told an under-employed goalkeeper, Paul Harris, to get involved and he responded: "I never saw Schmeichel score a goal"."

1040: Sunshine whacking down at Lord's, with the pitch looking as dead as a dinosaur. All suggestions for what I should spend my 40 Euros on very much welcomed - currently torn between a Greek timeshare or half a pint of lager in Helsinki.

1030: Now then - you might be fearing The Draw here, but I have a feeling this could be a great day - I popped on an old pair of trousers this morning, felt something papery in the back pocket and pulled out two 20 Euro notes. It's officially the greatest start to a Monday morning I've ever had.