West Indies saw their World Cup dreams all but ended after a crushing 67-run defeat against South Africa in Grenada.

AB de Villiers hit 12 fours and five sixes in a magnificent 146, sharing 170 with Jacques Kallis (80) as the Proteas amassed 356-4 after being put in.

Herschelle Gibbs and Mark Boucher added a devastating 86 from six overs.

Ramnaresh Sarwan hit a defiant 92 from 75 balls, sharing 50 with Brian Lara, and Daren Powell hit three late sixes but the hosts could only manage 289-9.

606: DEBATE Give your thoughts on this crucial encounter

Text us on 84040, email [email protected] or contribute to 606

By Ben Dirs

WEST INDIES INNINGS

50th over: 289-9
Powell looks to have missed his chance of a fifty, hitting the ball to long-off but only meandering one. He thought it was going for four. Collymore larrups the last ball of the over for a maximum and it's all over, South Africa have won by 67 runs. The Windies are toast, the tournament looks dead in the water. On that positive note, I'll see you tomorrow.

"Next time you do commentary, you should imitate Whose Line Is It Anyway and do each innings in the style of someone or something suggested by the audience. For instance, the South Africa innings could be done in the commentary style of Mr Spock from Star Trek whilst the Windies batsmen get Benny Hill commentating. That'll keep John Hunt happy for hours, especially when you slip into full Julian Clary mode..."
Andy in the TMS inbox

49th over: 279-9
Another inswinging yorker from Hall and it's dug out by Powell. Collymore jabs down on another attempted toe-cruncher and meanders one. Powell picks up another to long-on. Hall is called for a wide after serving up a bumper and isn't a happy bunny. The hosts need 78 from the final over - can they do it?

48th over: 276-9
A couple of almighty smites from Powell off Smith, the first over wide long-on, the second over deep mid-wicket. He picks up another couple to backward point before grabbing one with a mis-timed skew to square-leg.

"I was hoping John Hunt (see below) would at least have told us what the collective noun for Tellytubbies is?"
Dave, Virginia, in the TMS inbox

47th over: 258-9
Collymore gets one for an ugly hoick before a wicked yorker from Hall just misses Powell's leg-peg. Chop chop Saffers, I want to watch a DVD before bedtime.

"Perhaps Brian Lara and Co will follow England's example and 'pick out the positives' from another walloping. If I hear another English player (or Duncan Fletcher) trying to put a load of spin on another execrable England performance, I'll scream."
Andrew Archer, Northumberland, in the TMS inbox

46th over: Bradshaw c Hall b Smith 20, WI 254-9
Bradshaw is out, sweeping Smith to a diving Hall at mid-wicket. Almost home and hosed folks. Collymore makes his way from the hutch and is off the mark with a push into the off-side.

"The West Indies players just don't do enough work nowadays, it's as simple as that. In our days, Andy Roberts, Malcolm Marshall, myself, we all trained hard..."
Wayne Daniel on TMS

45th over: 253-8
Bradshaw picks up one before Hall strays on to Powell's legs and is clipped through mid-wicket for four. Oh, deary me, I feel like having a little weep.

"When did everyone become a smarta**se? I don't expect Jim Swanton and Neville Cardus but the threads on here are so juvenile they'd get the Tellytubbies a bad name."
John Hunt in the TMS inbox

44th over: 244-8
Five dot balls before Bradshaw moves to 18 with a push into the covers. The hosts need another 113 from six overs. Come on lads, you can still do it!

43rd over: 243-8
Bradshaw moves to 15 with a tickle to the leg-side boundary. Powell digs out an Ntini yorker and this is so pointless I've got old hymns swimming round in my head. I've been trying to flush out For All the Saints for the last hour.

"Is there a cricket equivalent of boxing's throwing in the towel? Maybe the Windies should invent one! As for the content of the conversation, it's the banter that's keeping me 'watching' the game, not the cricket. What naughtiness?"
John Martin, Chicago, USA

42nd over: 236-8
Powell drags Nel round the corner and it's Keystone Kops from the South Africans, West Indies picking up two including an overthrow. The locals are still getting stuck into the rum punch and partying, they're not going to let a small thing like being knocked out of the World Cup get them down.

41st over: 232-8
Chin music from Ntini and Powell misses out with an attempted hook. All hail the Dandy Highwayman, it's stand and deliver from Powell. First, he walks towards Ntini like he's no more than military medium and slaps him to the wide long-on fence. Powell gets another four for a pull to mid-wicket.

40th over: 219-8
Nel drops short and Powell rocks back and slaps him to point for one. Bradshaw didn't know much about that from Nel, the ball pitching and beating him outside the off-stump. Bradshaw does get one before Powell gets a couple with a handsome lofted cover-drive. There is definitely something to be said for some sort of submission rule in cricket, this is like watching paint grow.

"I'm listening to The Killers and extremely depressed at our performance. We don't deserve to qualify - we ain't got no soul and we ain't no soldiers."
Sarah, Trinidad, in the TMS Inbox

39th over: WICKET - Sarwan c Pollock b Ntini 92, WI 213-8
Someone give the chubby lady a nudge, Sarwan is out, clubbing a tired drive to Pollock at mid-off. Powell is the new batsman and he gets off the dreaded goose egg with a single.

"What the world needs is a magazine that combines cricket coverage with a bit of smut."
Andy, Wiltshire, in the TMS inbox

38th over: 213-7
Bradshaw opens the face and feathers Kallis down to third-man for one before Sarwan loosens the wrists with a flick to backward-square for a couple. Another one for Sarwan down to third-man.

37th over: 208-7
Maiden over from Ntini and the run-rate is now more than 11. The disaster everybody feared might happen is about to happen - how many will we get at England v Bangladesh tomorrow? Seven?

"Would it be possible to have some references/analogies that do not involve 'naughtiness', please? As hard as it may be to believe, some of us are following this for the cricket and not the conversation!"
Matt H in the TMS inbox

36th over: 208-7
Late cut from Sarwan off Kallis before some suicidal stuff from the West Indies, Bradshaw getting sent back by Sarwan and just beating some rather shoddy work from Peterson and Boucher. Bradshaw gets one for a nudge off his pads and the locals are still making some noise out there, despite what is panning out in front of them.

"Sorry Naomi, but I'm cheering for a South African win. I'm quite enjoying the battering! But I will say that it's not a pretty sight to see the once great West Indies reduced to this."
Charlotte Thorn in the TMS inbox

35th over: 204-7
Bradshaw dabs Ntini into the covers and sub fielder Peterson just misses with a shie at the striker's end that would have cleaned Bradshaw up. Three from the over, two to Sarwan, one from Bradshaw.

34th over: 201-7
Sarwan clobbers Smith over the top and Ntini pulls off a fine stop on the long-on boundary. At first I thought he should have caught it, but he actually did well just to claw it back and prevent a maximum. Prince then makes a hash of things at the wide long-off boundary, letting the ball through his legs for another four. Smith glares at Prince as if he's just caught him leafing through some top-shelf smut. Sarwan then makes room and smears Smith over extra-cover for another boundary. Sarwan still swinging blows and that's the Windies 200.

"England's chances of getting to the semis are now as thin as my second-best pair of trousers...not a pretty sight."
John Martin in the TMS inbox

33rd over: 186-7
Sarwan and Bravo pick up a couple of singles apiece off Nel, but the Windies need more than singles, they need a miracle of Biblical proportions.

"To show off next time you pass a herd of cows, if there are 12 or more it is actually called a flink!"
Matt, Fair Oak, England

"Alright, I'm getting pretty tired of holding up the female side of the commentary. Surely there are other girls find it 'troubling' that the hosts are being 'battered'..."
Naomi Williamson, Coventry, in the TMS inbox

32nd over: WICKET - Ramdin c sub b Smith 4, WI 181-7
Smith is going to give his right-arm darts a run-out and he makes a mess of his first delivery, Ramdin picking up one for it to third-man. The fat lady may be singing, but Sarwan's still swinging, and he marmalises Smith over long-on for six. He picks up a single before Ramdin perishes, flicking Smith to sub fielder Peterson at mid-wicket. Good catch that - Windies looking over the precipice and awaiting an itsy, bitsy nudge.

31st over: 171-6
Ramdin is off the mark with a thick inside edge for one. For God's sake, let us sit upon the carpet and tell sad stories...

"We ladies have been too excited keeping up with the goldfish discussion to email."
Karen, Seattle, in the TMS inbox

"If I was not paid for doing this job, I would not be sitting in this chair either..."
Tony Cozier on TMS

30th over: WICKET - Pollard b Kallis 10, WI 169-6
Kallis drops short and Pollard swings him away for one - Pollard would have been disappointed with that. He'll be even more disappointed with his dismissal, the 19-year-old loping down the pitch and missing a straight one with a wild and windy woosh. That was absolute Pollards, the fat lady is squeezing into her velvet gown... Wicket-keeper Ramdin is the new batsman.

"I emailed in earlier, and I can safely say that I'm female. And as a female, I don't think the chat is 'infantile', I think it's great."
Charlotte Thorn in the TMS inbox

29th over: 167-5
Pollard nicks a quick single before Sarwan shellacks Pollock over extra-cover for four before West Indies pick up four valuable leg-byes. As long as Sarwan remains, the Windies have a glimmer.

"'Infantile?' Where else can you learn good English grammar (collective nouns) and cooking tips without leaving your seat?" David Blackbourn in the TMS inbox

28th over: 157-5
Sarwan picks up a single to deep point before Pollard scampers one, Gibbs missing with the shie at the non-striker's end.

27th over: 155-5
Huge lbw shout by Pollock against Sarwan, but umpire Harper's not having that. Maybe it hit him outside the line of off-stump. Sarwan moves to 50 with an easy push into the covers - that's his 25th in ODIs. West Indies need another 203 from 23 overs. Sorry to all you Pollyannas out there, but that is probably not going to happen.

"I am going to do some work...can't take it anymore. I wish Mills Lane was the umpire. He would have stopped this and declared a TKO."
Breado, Maryland, in the TMS inbox

26th over: 151-5
Sarwan moves to 48 with a guide to point. Kallis tests Pollard out with a bit of rib-music before he and Sarwan exchange singles. Pollard gets his first boundary with a delicate run down to third-man, Boucher just failing to make the catch diving to his right.

"I have to say that 'a bloat of hippopotami' beats goldfish all ends up."
Chris J, West Midlands, in the TMS inbox

25th over: WICKET - Bravo c Gibbs b Pollock 6, WI 142-5
That's the fifth wicket down and the hosts are on their way out. Bravo clubbing Pollock to mid-on and Gibbs making a fine one-handed catch at full-stretch. Pollard, on debut, is next up the ramp and he's off the mark with a single.

24th over: 142-4
Sarwan chops Kallis to third-man for a couple before showing the full face and lofting him over wide long-off for four.

23rd over: 133-4
Not many ladies emailing today. Someone wrote in earlier on to suggest that the reason for that was because the chat on this page was "infantile". By which, I assume he thinks women have more intelligent discussion than men. Has he ever to been to Cardiff city centre on a Saturday night? I was there at the weekend, didn't see much intelligent female chit-chat there, just lots of women sinking blue shots. Four singles from the over, two apiece from Bravo and Sarwan.

22nd over: 129-4
The run-rate has crept over eight-an-over now. Sarwan gets one with an upper-cut off Kallis. Bravo picks up a single with a nurdle into the leg-side.

"Au contraire, it has always been considered an 'Exeter University' of goldfish."
Douglas Oakley in TMS inbox

21st over: 126-4
Michael in Toronto tells me that a gathering of goldfish can also be a 'glint'. Sorry Michael, I prefer 'troubling'. Sarwan slaps Hall over wide long-off for four and nicks the strike with a push to long-on.

20th over: WICKET - Lara b Kallis 21, WI 119-4
Kallis is on and Lara nurdles him round the corner for one. I've got a feeling about Lara today, I think he might do something truly glorious. Sarwan opens the face and runs Kallis down to third-man for one. Erm, the West Indies skipper is out, sashaying down the track and chopping Kallis onto his timbers. Ouch. Bravo is the new batter and I can't see him digging the hosts out of this deep, deep chasm of despair...Hello to our North American friends by the way, your contributions are always very welcome after sunset in London.

19th over: 117-3
Glorious shot from Sarwan, a whip off his pads for four. West Indies really motoring here, South African skipper Smith will not be too happy with what's going on out there. Sarwan and Lara nurdle singles. Block-hole ball from Nel and Sarwan punches him through extra-cover for a couple.

18th over: 109-3
Lara chops Hall down to third-man for one and Srikanth from Amherst, Massachusetts has trumped Gary in Paris with the news that the collective noun for goldfish is a 'troubling'. Simply magnificent, Srikanth. Sarwan picks up one to third-man.

17th over: 104-3
Gary in Paris tells me that a gathering of goldfish is a 'flock' and not a school - are you pulling my leg Gary in Paris? Nel drops short and Sarwan drags him away for four and Sarwan brings up the Windies ton with a single to point. Lara gets a single with an uppish cover-drive before rustling about in his top drawer and pulling out a beauty of a shot, a classic stroke through cover-point for four.

16th over: 94-3
Hall looks like he needs to do a bit of skipping - skipping breakfast, skipping lunch, skipping dinner. Sarwan angles his bat and picks up one to deep backward-point. Crackerjack stroke from Sarwan, waiting on a slower ball from Hall and slapping him through the covers for four.

15th over: 87-3
Lara drives Nel to mid-off and takes the quick single. Nel strays onto Sarwan's legs and is whipped away for four. Nel lets out a blood-curdling roar, like he's just trapped his hand in a car door. Calm down Nelly, it's only a game of cricket.

14th over: 81-3
Lara moves to seven with a glide to third-man for one. South Africa's fielders are chirping away like a flock of canaries out there, in contrast to the West Indies fielders, who were more like a school of goldfish volume wise. Sarwan works Hall off his pads for one before Lara picks up another couple with a clip to mid-wicket.

"For the West Indies to win I think Lara needs to hit the first ever ODI double ton. To be honest...I'm not confident."
Scotty, Fair Oak, in the TMS Inbox

13th over: 76-3
It's pretty simple math - either both Lara and Sarwan score tons, or the hosts are toast. If anyone was watching my England v Sri Lanka clockwatch, they will know about a website called Leggy Blonde Cricket Fans, which was created tas a result of the chat flying around that day. I can't link to it, it's considered a little bit 'blue' by my bosses, but it can be found on all good search engines. Lara pulls and gets a couple for it.

12th over: WICKET - Gayle run out 32, WI 69-3
Hall is on and his first ball is dragged short and punched away for four by Gayle. However, the Windies lose another, Prince collecting the ball at mid-wicket and beating Gayle's rather half-hearted stroll down the pitch with a direct hit. It's all gone quiet in Grenada, Sarwan the next man in.

11th over: WICKET - Smith c De Villiers b Nel 33, WI 65-2
Gayle fails to take full advantage of a Nel full-toss, picking up just one to mid-off. Smith clips uppishly to mid-wicket for a couple, but is out next ball, De Villiers diving forward and snaffling a good catch in the covers. West Indies' World Cup challenge is disintegrating before my eyes. Lara is next in.

10th over: 61-1
Gayle picks up his first boundary, clipping Ntini off his pads. Bosman makes a manful effort out on the mid-wicket boundary, sand flying up all around him as if he's being dragged by a horse, or indeed a zonkey. Gayle fills his boots again, shellacking a widish ball from Ntini to the point fence. One more for Gayle with a flamingo shot, up on one leg and paddling Ntini to mid-wicket. And the crowd goes wild, Smith latching on to a short one and slapping him over the mid-wicket fence for four.

9th over: 47-1
Nel is into the attack, Pollock pulled after just four overs. Smith clips him away for one before Gayle whips him off his pads for a single. Nel gives Gayle a bit of chin music - Gayle leaves his bat up as he ducks underneath it and Nel gives him a knowing smile as he jogs down the pitch. Good running by Smith, backing himself against the throw from fine-leg, a couple for the shot.

8th over: 40-1
Gayle misses out on a short one from Ntini, dragging the ball onto his pad. Two singles for Mr Nice and Easy, who's now on 12, and one for Smith.

7th over: 37-1
One for Gayle with a push to mid-on before Smith rocks back and slashes Pollock to the backward point fence for another four. Looks like a nice little player this chap. He gets one more for a squirt to point - Pollock has got the hump with Gibbs, that was pretty shoddy work in the field. Gayle nicks a quick single, Smith missing with the shie from mid-off. Two more from Smith, paddling Pollock through mid-wicket. Spunky batting from Smith, 23 from 17 balls so far.

6th over: 28-1
Smith picks up another boundary with a crisp square-drive and he follows up with a scampered single. Gayle leans back and carves Ntini to backward point for a couple.

5th over: 20-1
Gayle, due some runs, picks up one with a push to mid-off. Bit of tip and run from the Windies, five from the over.

"You can't get away from the fact that this has been a disappointing World Cup, I don't thnk anyone would say any different..."
Barry Richards on TMS

4th over: 15-1
Funny little scene on the Windies balcony - Bradshaw, who took some serious hammer from the South African bowling, looks like he's sulking and his skipper Lara, like someone peering into a pram, appears to be making funny faces at him to cheer him up. It's not working. Smith smears Ntini over the covers for a couple and gets another two for a tickle off his legs. One more for Smith to mid-off.

3rd over: WICKET - Chanderpaul c Smith b Pollock 4, WI 5-1
That's the first one down, Chanderpaul dollying a Pollock delivery straight to Saffer skipper Smith at mid-off. The local boy is the next man in, and Smith is off the mark with a carve through the covers for four. Pollock strays on to Smith's pads and is flicked away for one. The crowd go wild, they love this lad.

2nd over: 5-0
Ben's just bolting down a plate of... well... food, I suppose, from the BBC canteen, so it's Oliver Brett doing the first two overs for you. Ntini, with his familiar wide-of-the-crease approach, tears in and Chanderpaul cuts him smartly for two.

"What on Earth was Brian Lara thinking of, taking the last powerplay in the 44th over? It was like an invitation to a ravenous horde to attend a feast! As a West Indies fan I actually thought it quite embarassing and showed the manifest shortcomings that he has as a captain."
Jason in the TMS inbox

1st over: 2-0
Pollock bowling the first over, then, in bright sunshine. Bravo opened the batting for the Windies against Sri Lanka, but it's a more orthodox top order this time. Pollock beats Gayle with his fifth and sixth deliveries.

SOUTH AFRICA INNINGS

"Dear Ben, did you grow up in Leigh-on-Sea? There was a shop there called Pollard's which was exactly the same, and was a byword in my family too. It it was a different shop, maybe the national demand for poor- quality haberdashery led to a chain being established.
Don in the TMS inbox

"Sir Len Hutton quote - 'If my mother hadn't thrown my football boots on the fire, I might have become as famous as Denis Compton.'"
Steve, Mirfield, in the TMS inbox

50th over: WICKET - Boucher c&b Bravo 52, SA 347-4
Boucher is out, deceived by a slower ball from Bravo and dollying it back to the bowler. That was one of the most savage innings I have ever seen, and I've seen Derek Pringle bat. The new batsman is Pollock. GIbbs picks up two before Bravo strays down leg and his helped round the corner for four. Gibbs scampers one from the final ball of the innings and that was absolute carnage.

"In response to Barrie (32nd over), the survey was actually Britain's best-known equines, which apparently includes horses, donkeys, zebras and strangely, crosses between zebras and donkeys known as... zonkeys!"
Chris, Sheffield, in the TMS inbox

49th over: 347-3
Boucher hits South Africa's 11th six of the innings, crashing Powell over mid-wicket six...and another! Windies are in pieces here, I don't know where to look. Gibbs' little nose has been put out of joint by Boucher's showing off and he larrups Powell into the confectionary stall...and out again. Actually it's made a hole in a window. Not sure if it's a confectionary stall or not. That's Gibbs' fifty, his 30th in ODIs, and it came from 34 balls. Boucher then brings up a 22-ball half-ton with yet another mow over mid-wicket.

"Not everyone who goes to Exeter University wears sunglasses and a jumper over their shoulders! Did you study stereotyping?"
James Jordan in the TMS inbox

48th over: 320-3
Quick single for Boucher with a nurdle to leg. Gibbs was well in despite a driect hit. Gibbs plays an easy seven iron to mid-wicket for one before Boucher pulls out Big Bertha and swats Bravo over deep mid-wicket for another maximum. Deary, deary me.

"I wonder if Gayle would get into Exeter University's 1st XI on this form?"
Jim, Southampton, in the TMS inbox

47th over: 311-3
I feel a little bit sad watching this, West Indies are rolled up into a ball on the floor and getting a proper kicking. Boucher slams another Bradshaw full-bunger straight over the top for six before he makes room and plays a doozy of a drive, all along the carpet, for four. Lara claps his hands together, but the message isn't getting through to his players. Gibbs backs away, Bradshaw follows him, and is whipped to the wide long-on fence for another four.

"The ICC should scrap 50-over ODIs and instead have 20-over cricket with two innings. This will bring the best of both worlds."
Paul, London, in the TMS inbox

46th over: 294-3
Boucher rocks back and slashes Collymore to the backward-point fence for four. Pollard, the local boy, makes amends for his shoddy fielding a couple of overs ago with a good diving stop on the mid-wicket boundary. The hosts descending into farce now, Bradshaw putting down a top-edged steepler from Boucher down at third-man. Boucher digs out a yorker and gets one for it.

45th over: 287-3
Boucher lofts Bradshaw to the long-off fence for four before punishing a full-bunger, slamming it over deep mid-wicket for a maximum. More full-tossage from Bradshaw and Gibbs hoists him away for another six - 16 from the over, the West Indies bowlers have got boundary pie all over their faces.

44th over: WICKET - De Villiers c Chanderpaul b Collymore 146, SA 261-3
De Villiers is out, attempting to hoick Collymore over mid-wicket and finding Chanderpaul at short fine-leg. What a knock that was, a contender for the best of the tournament so far. Boucher is the new batsman, and he can give it some serious clout as well. De Villiers looks like he could do with a Stana up those stairs, he's wrecked. Appalling fielding from Pollard down at backward-point, Boucher picks up four.

43rd over: 261-2
Gibbs tries to mow Bradshaw over mid-wicket but Bravo makes a good stop on the rope. Rare cheer for the locals. Not sure what's going on with these attendances - it's a national holiday today, prices have been slashed, and we still don't have a full ground. Whisper it quietly, but is it possible that West Indians just aren't really into cricket anymore? De Villiers smears Bradshaw down the ground for a couple, clutching his right hamstring after the stroke.

42nd over: 254-2
De Villiers, throws the kitchen sink and every implement he can find at that one and it's yet another four. AB is like some wounded cowboy, staggering through town, covered in bullet holes, yet still managing to shoot people down from the hip. Another extraordinary shot, making room and flashing Bravo to the point boundary before rolling onto his back again. Physio on again, getting a little silly this.

"'Ennui?' How about we spice things up with a few quotations? One of my favourites, from the immortal CLR. James: 'He was an execrable human being, but a great square-cutter'."
David Wallace, Spain, in the TMS inbox

41st over: 241-2
AB is smashing the place up, slog-sweeping Sarwan for another maximum...and another!!! The fresh-faced AB has turned into a little bully all of a sudden. If my dear old nan was still alive, she'd be up on her feet and shaking her fist at the screen, just like she used to whenever Giant Haystacks came on. Another four for De Villiers, making room and square-driving Sarwan for four. This innings is made all the more remarkable by the fact De Villiers can barely walk. Windies are on their way out - surely?

40th over: 222-2
Gayle is bowling in sunglasses. I wonder if he went to Exeter University, they do everything wearing sunglasses down there - and a sweater slung over the shoulders. AB gets down on one knee and swings Gayle over the mid-wicket fence for six before sweeping him for four. De Villiers presumably told his skipper there won't be much running when he came out as a runner, because he's just marmalised Gayle over long-on for another maximum. Ooh, you swine AB...

39th over: 204-2
Sarwan drops short and De Villiers carves him away for a couple before he repeats the shot and crumples in a heap with cramp. Someone wrap that man in a tin foil blanket! Smith has got the pads back on and he's going to be AB's runner.

38th over: 200-2
That's De Villiers' maiden ODI ton courtesy of a push into the covers - he's happy with that, skipping down the pitch, whipping off the lid and punching the air in delight. That's the Saffers' 200, Gibbs just nurdling Gayle to mid-wicket for a single.

37th over: 196-2
There is a whiff going about the place that Lara might have forgotten to take the final powerplay. It wouldn't reallly surprise me, the West Indies team look like they've all just poured out of Turnmills nightclub in Farringdon at 5 o'clock in the morning. De Villiers takes a risky single, but more mediocre fielding in the covers allows him to make his ground with ease.

36th over: WICKET - Kallis b Gayle 81, SA 191-2
Kallis is out, Gayle getting one to slide underneath his flashing blade. Fine knock that, especially the first 50 runs of it - you'll rarely see anything better. Gibbs is next up the ramp and he's off the mark with a tickle to leg. De Villiers nurdles one to leg and South Africa will still be looking to top 300 - Gibbs, remember, can give it some serious hammer.

35th over: 190-1
Sarwan is into the attack with a right-arm tweakers and De Villiers dabs him to point for a single.

34th over: 186-1
Kallis tries to give Gayle some tapparoo and is beaten outside the off-stump. Big grin from the big man. De Villiers hits the deck, he's got a spot of cramp. Lot of that about in this World Cup. Maybe it's making a comeback, like gout. My housemate had gout once - that's one of those things that should be funny, but is actually very painful. We still laughed at him though.

33rd over: 180-1
Powell is back on and De Villiers laces a block-hole ball through mid-off for four. Smashing shot that. The last ball of the over is smashed through the covers by AB for another boundary. The Saffers have plenty of wickets to play with here, they might try to slip into fifth gear a little earlier than normal. 340 a possibility?

"Totally agree. Fifty-over cricket will die off within 10 years at the latest. No amount of fiddling around with powerplays, subs etc. will stop the decrease in attention span currently plaguing our culture. Fifty-over cricket looks like an old, lumbering, family dog, past its prime with no real interest or use when you compare it with Twenty20 - the young sprightly pup who everyone wants to meet and everyone wants to play with. Sad but increasingly true."
Denis, Newcastle, in the TMS inbox

32nd over: 170-1
De Villiers moves to 80 with an easy single. Kallis picks up one with an easy steer into the off-side. AB picks up one with a flip to fine-leg and Kallis grabs a single with a angled glide to third-man.

"Taking a break from cricket for a moment - has anyone seen the survey for The World's Most Famous horse? Apparently, the sixth most famous horse in history is Donkey from Shrek with 9%. Is it just me, or this insane?"
Barrie Hemsley in the TMS inbox

31st over: 166-1
Pollard strays onto De Villiers' pads and is clipped round the corner for four. It's dead in the St George's ground, South Africa are cruising - and are likely to go absoutely ruddy berko in the last 10 overs. 30th over: 158-1
Gayle is into the attack with his right-arm darts. He drops short outside the off-stump and is carved away by Kallis for four. Kallis picks up another couple before De Villiers whips Gayle round teh corner for one. Eight from the over, Gayle playing with all the intensity of an old man playing Snakes and Ladders with his grandson.

"Gayle looks to have lost his enthusiasm, he just doesn't seem interested. He's 'with it' in terms of his sunglasses at least..."
Tony Cozier on TMS

29th over: 150-1
Kallis grabs a couple with a turn to leg before slashing Pollard to backward point for one. De Villiers gets one for a wristy flip to short fine-leg. Still no spin from Lara, and when will he play the final powerplay? Big questions for Lara, Windies desperately need a wicket.

28th over: 146-1
Kallis and De Villiers exchange singles and South Africa are chugging along like a lovely old Bullnose Morris winding its way through an English country road.

"In Vietnam I saw 'Conical Hat Brain' on a menu, along with the very mysterious Half Boiled Goat. Was it half a goat, boiled? Or some under-cooked goat meat? I never did find out..."
John, Bristol, in the TMS inbox

27th over: 143-1
Pollard is into the attack and his first delivery in ODI's is turned away for one by De Villiers. Kallis picks up a couple with a tuck to leg and there are seven from the over. There used to be a shop where I grew up called Pollard's - it sold very cheap pants and socks and became a byword for anything that was rubbish, as in, "that shot was absolute Pollards". The conches are out and we have music in the crowd! Where's the Fun Taliban? Smash their shells, people are enjoying themselves!

26th over: 136-1
Kallis and De Villiers happy to milk and the Windies have a bowling attack is happy yo oblige - they're udders are bulging with runs. Five singles from the over, all nudge and nurdle, and I'm falling into an almost unbearable ennui.

"We have a local Thai takeaway that offers a refreshing can of cock. Gave that one a miss."
Paul Begg, Canada, in the TMS inbox

25th over: 131-1
De Villiers turns Bradshaw off his legs for one and Kallis picks up a single with a steer to point. South Africa in milkmaid mode, De Villiers yanking away at Bradshaw and getting another one to mid-wicket and Kallis joining in with another guide to third-man. It's these middle overs again folks - I'm starting to wonder whether we should get rid of this stuff in the middle and just have the slap-dash stuff on either side. Wait a minute, that would be Twenty20...you mark my words, 50-over cricket will be dead in 10 years' time...

24th over: 126-1
Kallis' fifty comes up off 46 balls - that's his 62nd in ODI's, his seventh in World Cups and eighth against West Windies. De Villiers rocks back and picks up one with a wristy drive into the covers.

23rd over: 122-1
The consensus among you is that Bradshaw looks like a cartoon rabbit, whether it be Dandelion from Watership Down, Ren from Ren and Stimpy (is he a rabbit?) or Bucky O'Hare. Kallis should have been dismissed there, Bravo with the pick-up at cover but missing with the throw. South Africa taking liberties - and being allowed to get away with it.

22nd over: 121-1
De Villiers brings up the hundred partnership with a drive through backward point and these two batsmen could only look more comfortable if they were batting in fluffy dressing gowns.

21st over: 119-1
Kallis tucks Bradshaw away for a couple before driving him into the covers for a single. One for De Villiers before Kallis shows the full face and moves to 48 with a single to mid-off. Sky are showing some chap watching the match from up in the hills, apparently from about seven miles away. Reminds me of when my dad used to take me to watch Sunday League larkabouts over at Southend. We used to try to climb through a hole in the fence, get caught and watch it perched up in a tree.

20th over: 113-1
Juliet drops short and De Villiers carves him away for another boundary before unfurling an Andrex shot, lofting Bravo over the wide long-on rope for a maximum with the minimum of effort. That's AB's fifty, from 58 balls. He looked in pretty rancid nick earlier on, but has really hit his straps in the last few overs. West Indies in a whole lot of strife.

19th over: 99-1
Brutal from De Villiers, slapping Bradshaw straight over long-on for four. The St George's ground in Grenada has descended into silence.

"Bradshaw looks definitely like Ren (the neurotic 'asthma-hound' chihuahua) from The Ren & Stimpy Show!"
Nicholas in the TMS inbox

18th over: 92-1
Kallis picks up a couple with a drive through cover-point and gets one for a carve to point. Bravo grazes the stumps with his bowling hand - that must have smarted - before Gayle, showing all the flexibility of Metal Mickey, fluffs a possible run-out chance. Bravo hunches over and hides his head in his hands, a la Basil Fawlty.

17th over: 89-1
A good slower ball from Bradshaw has De Villiers groping like Mr Magoo. Kallis pick up one for a clip to mid-wicket - new reaches us that he's picked up an ankle ligament injury. That could put paid to his little tantrum a couple of overs back. Bradshaw gets one to keep low and De Villiers almost loses his off-stick. Good recovery job from the hosts after the whirlwind that was over 14.

"SE Asian menus provide some classics. I've never had a 'ship burty' but I did once order off a menu in Laos which offered 'stuffed fist'. Not being sure quite where it had been stuffed we gave it a wide berth. Some of the other fish was delicous though."
Andrew Bonser, London, in the TMS inbox

16th over: 87-1
Big shout from behind the stumps for a catch off Kallis, but it was half-hearted from Bravo. Umpire Benson shakes his head and looks at Bravo like he's justed passed wind in a lift. More anguish for Bravo, Kallis attempting to run him away to third-man and Ramdin, standing up to the stumps, putting down a thickish edge. Fine over from Bravo, especially after being pummelled for 18 off his first.

15th over: 86-1
Casual fielding from Gayle at point and De Villiers picks up one. Kallis gets a couple for a sliced drive and he's gone and done himself a mischief, appearing to turn his ankle as he turned for the second run. Players take drinks as Big Jacques gets treatment. Kallis has had a bandage applied to his dirty great size 13 and he picks up one for a slash to third-man when play restarts.

"A Jim Reeves box set is worth saving from fire, flood or pestilence. Some absolute classics, unlike World Cup '07."
Jeff Stanners in the TMS inbox

"Surely the Von Essen Platinum Club sandwich has to be classed as 'too ostentatious'. The sandwich includes Iberico ham, which has been air cured for 30 months, poulet de Bresse, quail eggs, semi-dried Italian tomatoes, 24-hour fermented sour dough bread and �25 of white truffles. It weighs in at 530 grams and packs 1,182 calories...and costs �100."
Chris Dixon, Billingham, in the TMS inbox

14th over: 80-1
Juliet is on for Powell and Kallis puts manners on his second ball, skipping down the pitch and slapping him to the point boundary before playing an absolute peche de la peche inside out cover-drive for six. Kallis shimmies to outside his off-stump and whips Bravo away for another four. Poor fielding from Pollard, who should have released the ball but kept hold of it as his foot slid onto the rope. And another boundary, Kallis clipping the last ball to the wide long-on fence. Eighteen from Bravo's first over - "You're a big man, but you're out of shape. With me, it's a full-time job - now behave yourself", says Kallis through the grill of his helmet.

13th over: 62-1
Bradshaw is on for Collymore. My colleague is racking his brains trying to think of what cartoon character he looks like - if it's any help, he thinks it might be a rabbit. Airy drive from Kallis and he's beaten outside the off-stump. Uppish drive from Kallis, but the ball falls just short of Chanderpaul in the covers. All of a sudden, Kallis looking jittery. He does pick up a couple of easy runs with a flick to mid-wicket - Sarwan should have done better there. He's certainly in expansive mood, Jacques, sashaying across his stumps and whipping Bradshaw away for another couple. I think he's been reading the South African papers and has got the raving hump.

12th over: 56-1
De Villiers looks to larrup Powell over mid-off but can only skew it into the covers for a couple. De Villiers ticking over, but you can't see he looks in touch. De Villiers rams my words down my big, fat throat, latching onto a long-hop from Powell and marmalising the ball to the mid-wicket fence. De Villiers follows up with a peachy straight drive for a few, old man Lara making a fine stop to prevent the boundary. From being a little constipated, South Africa are all of a sudden incontinent with runs, Kallis playing a dreamy square-drive a four of his own. Kallis makes it 15 from the over with a flick for two to square-leg. Ominous signs for the hosts.

11th over: 41-1
Wristy stroke from De Villiers and he gets one for a thick outside edge to move to 21. Kallis then plays a crackerjack shot, getting up on one leg, a la Gordon Greenidge, and flicking Collymore to the mid-wicket boundary for four.

10th over: 36-1
De Villiers has a flash at Powell and the ball just beats the fielder at backward point and races away for four. Powell gets one to spit at De Villiers off a length and has the batsman hopping. But De Villiers hits back well, thumping Powell over wide mid-on for four.

"A boy at my school used to have jam and meat on his sandwich. Not ostentatious, just horrible. By the way, the Earl of Sandwich didn't invent the sandwich..."
Bazza, Surrey, in the TMS inbox

"Whilst on a trip to Thailand, I visited a beach cafe for lunch, where sandwhich of the day was a 'ship burty'. Intrigued by this, I ordered one, expecting an exotic sandwiich the size of a barge. It turned out 'ship burty' was in fact one of my favourite sandwiches, the 'chip butty'."
Martin Southwortth in the TMS inbox

9th over: 27-1
Often accused of being selfish, Kallis, and batting for himself rather than the team. He's certainly not one to get flustered. In fact, he's the sort of bloke who'd stroll to his bedroom in a house fire to save his Jim Reeves box set. Collymore is Johnny on the Spot and there is just one single from the over.

8th over: 26-1
De Villiers picks up a single before Kallis grabs two runs with an easy on-drive. An uppish flip to square-leg from Kallis brings up another single.

Although it pains me to say it Im hoping for a very dull low scoring match. Only somthing that boring can help struggling England at this stage.

7th over: WICKET - Smith c Ramdin b Collymore 7, SA 21-1
The South Africa skipper is gone, charging Collymore and feathering a catch to Ramdin behind the stumps. Windies on top in the early stages. Kallis is next up the ramp. This lad can bat a bit.

6th over: 20-0
Powell strays on to Smith's pads and is clipped away for a single. De Villiers picks up one, but the Proteas are struggling to find second gear at the moment.

Grenada country guide

Re: Dando's Brian Lara experiment (see below): I'm not sure it can be trusted! There is plenty of bias in endorsed games. On the original Brian Lara, I could never get him out. The same rule applies to Jonah Lomu Rugby!"
Steve in the TMS inbox

5th over: 18-0
Just three singles from the over and the West Indies openers are doing a pretty good job here so far.

"The third certainty in life my mother always comes up with is when watching repeats of Dad's Army, she says 'He's dead, he's dead. Wasn't he in so-and-so before he died etc'. Does anyone else have a more morbid mother?"
Russell, Reading, UK

4th over: 15-0
Smith very nearly plays on, the ball squirting from the bottom of his bat and just past his off-peg. Smith gets a single for a carve to backward point. Powell gets one to curve away from De Villiers and the batsman misses with a wild and windy woosh.

"Afternoon everyone. I've run today's match through Brian Lara 2007, replicating the conditions, and West Indies won by seven wickets..."
R Dando in the TMS inbox

3rd over: 14-0
Collymore is getting plenty of shape, but he's unable to control it at the moment - a leg-side wide. Neat back-foot drive from De Villiers, and that's the first boundary of the day. My colleague is disgusted by the prawn and avacado sandwich festering next to me on my desk - too "extravagant" apparently. Is it possible for a sandwich to be too ostentatious? Shared singles for De Villiers and Smith and that's eight from the over. By the way, he's got fish paste.

2nd over: 6-0
Powell shares the new pill with Collymore and his first ball is a beauty, arcing away from South Africa skipper Smith. Powell's second delivery darts back into Smith before the batsman gets a leading for no run into the off-side. Sketchy. Smithy is off the mark with a mis-timed pull for one. Wide from Powell, but there are just two from the over. You would have to think the Saffers are favourites to win this match-up, but as we all know, there are only three certainties in life: death, taxes, and the fact that my mum will say, "oh, don't they look human" whenever she's watching a documentary about chimpanzees.

"I honestly believe this could be a classic. Two teams down on their luck, a host nation in crisis and some genuine talent on display. I am almost glad I broke my leg so I can stay in and watch it."
Matt in the TMS inbox

1st over: 4-0 Collymore it is to have first go with the ball and South Africa are off the mark with a wide. Collymore, struggling to keep control of the white ball, gives up another next ball before De Villiers scores the first run off the bat with a tuck to leg-side. One more leg-bye and it's a scruffy old first over from Collymore.

"Dwayne Bravo sexier than KP?"
Jamie Gilbert, England, in the TMS inbox

"I think Kieron Pollard was a good move because he can steady the innings in the middle order and can be quite useful with his medium pace. He is also a different slow option instead of turning to Chris Gayle."
Tot in the TMS inbox

1428 BST: We look to have a decentish crowd in for the first World Cup encounter in Grenada. Players are out and we are about to start. Life, according to Sky Sports, is a carnival. Try telling that to the West Indies team if they stuff this up.

West Indies: Ramnaresh Sarwan, Chris Gayle, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Dwayne Bravo, Brian Lara (captain), Devon Smith, Denesh Ramdin, Kieron Pollard, Ian Bradshaw, Daren Powell, Corey Collymore

South Africa: Graeme Smith (captain), A.B. de Villiers, Jacques Kallis, Herschelle Gibbs, Ashwell Prince, Loots Bosman, Mark Boucher, Shaun Pollock, Andre Nel, Andrew Hall, Makhaya Ntini

1415 BST: It is time for Chris Gayle to come to the party in this match. So far, he has been skulking on a wall outside, supping on a can of Hofmeister and flicking lit matches at anyone who happens to walk by.

1407 BST: The team news is that Corey Collymore, Kieron Pollard (making his ODI debut) and Devon Smith, the only Grenadian in the squad, are in for the hosts. Marlon Samuels, Jerome Taylor and Dwayne Smith have been dropped. For South Africa, Loots Bosman and Andrew Hall are in for Charl Langeveldt and Justin Kemp.