That's just about your lot for this Test, as England slumped to an eight-wicket defeat by Australia in Perth.

Scroll down to see the key moments and read all the reaction.

We will be back with full coverage of the second Test from Brisbane, which is a day-nighter at the Gabba, on 4 December.

Here are your key stories to read from this Test:

• Report: Head leads Australia to crushing defeat of England
• Ashes player ratings: Which England players got 1/10?
• Captain Cummins could return for second Ashes Test
• More Ashes controversy as Smith given out on review

Travis Head on his game plan: "No gameplan, I was actually a proper opener for the first few overs. I feel like there were moments where I could open the batting at one stage, we had a few options but i was pretty keen to go out there. I knew the short pitch stuff was coming. I though if I could go out there and get a good start, I could make it easy or the guys behind me and it worked perfectly.

"I trained all four days before the Test because I knew it was a tough wicket. I wanted to be in my rhythm and ready to play. I'm old enough now, I've played enough cricket, I know what my preparation needs to be. I try to keep mentally fresh. The hardest part about this game is the mental side.

"I was hoping not to go too hard, I though I might've got another 20 or 30 runs. We're going to have moments throughout this series where either they fly or they don't. I though we moved our plans really great. We did exceptionally well in the first innings where they played really aggressive."

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England coach Brendon McCullum, speaking to TNT Sports: "I'm a little bit disappointed obviously. I thought 200 was a pretty good score for us to try to defend in the last innings. The way that Travis Head played was absolutely outstanding. That's one of the best knocks in a pressure situation on a tough wicket. He knocked us off our lengths when we wanted to hold our lengths as long as we could, and we thought that was the most dangerous thing on the pitch. We weren't able to do that due to the pressure they put us under so fair play.

"It was an extraordinary knock. We've always said if someone stands up to us and produces a performance like that you have to tip your cap. We will go away and figure how we can control things better if that happens again. At the same time you have to acknowledge how special that knock was, particularly out of position. It was a brave call to put him up the order. He battered it to all parts.

"This one will hurt us. Not just us but the people who follow the English cricket team as well. There will be a lot of chatter and for us it's about making sure we don't let our confidence and camaraderie tip too low. We know that at our best we are a good cricket team. We have an extended time off and we have 10 to 12 days to bounce back. We've done it before. We'll be believe in what we want to achieve at Brisbane.

More from England captain Ben Stokes to TMS: "Tough one, nice long break. We'll let this hurt because it does and we've got to get over this and get back training hard as we do then get ourselves to Brisbane.

"We've operated in this way where we know that the preparation we put in is correct in the way it works for us. I've been asked this question a lot, that's how it was done a long time ago. We prepare incredibly well and work incredibly hard everyday we get the opportunity to work on our game.

"That's what we'll keep on doing we trust in out process and if the result don't go in our favour, we won't do different from that because we know, hand on heart, we know we put every ounce of ourselves into our training and we know and believe that this is the best way to operate."

Australia captain Steven Smith speaking at the post-match presentation: "Good start, wasn't it. Two-dayer, which we love when we're on the right side.

On the decision to open with Travis Head: "At tea time, had discussions, didn't like how it had gone in the first innings. He said he'd do it. Nathan Lyon was talked about, to be honest. Made the right decision in the end.

"That [Travis Head] innings was out of this world, one of those days when he's on and he got us home.

"That's right up there, the fourth innings. The way he went about his business. And Marnus did a wonderful job at the other end as well."

Michael Vaughan
Former England captain on BBC Radio 5 Sports Extra

The method in the first innings, we've been saying we want 'Bazball with brains' but the brains haven't arrived. The bowling yesterday was some of the best I've seen but if you look back at the batting, it's really poor. They're all trying to whack it to the boundary, it's so disappointing. I look back to last year and it looked like they were learning. I don't see how they can win a big series batting like that.

I thought England had a good chance but the bowlers weren't even getting a rest. 30 overs but it wasn't even 30 overs because they were padding up, it's unacceptable. It's silly for us to think they'll win down under if we play like that. This match, they haven't used their tools correctly.

Image source, Getty Images

England captain Ben Stokes, speaking at the presentation: "A little shellshocked at the moment. That innings from Travis Head was pretty phenomenal. It's quite raw, and fresh, at the moment but geez that was some knock. The way it eked out, the guys who had success there with the bat in hand were the guys who seemed to take the game on.

"If we look back on that it looked like you should never think you have enough. I think if you find yourself in the position of the guy who got in try to give yourself the best chance of going on. Anyone who tried to stay around, and occupy the crease didn't have too much success. The knock from Travis knocked the wind out of us. We tried three or four different plans to Travis Head but when he's going like a train he's very hard to stop.

"The guys who found success looked to take the bowlers on, take on their best ball. There was certainly a lot of assistance there when the bowlers put it in the right area. The guys who were brave enough to knock the bowlers of their length seemed to find their success.

"A lot happened on day one. A good day for the bowlers. But this is a tough one to start with given we felt in control of the game. We have four more games here. We have to let this sink in. It's hurting at the moment but we have to get our head round it and get to Brisbane. We have a long time before that game starts and put the hard graft for Brisbane."

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Player of the match Mitchell Starc: "You see Travis take the game on like that an come up trumps, that was something to watch. That was something else. You cannot go home and not be happy with the entertainment.

"It was a helter skelter two days for both sides, and there was a lot made about both sides before the series. We knew if we stick to our guns and do what we do well as a group we would be okay. We saw Scott Boland today and Brendan Doggett on debut was fantastic.

"I was pretty calm for the whole week. It's the first time I've not had Josh or Pat there for a while but Scott had been around a long time. I was the old head in the group this week but it didn't change my role at all. I knew if I could I do what I've mostly done all right over the years it would keep us in good stead."

Michael Vaughan
Former England captain on BBC Radio 5 Sports Extra

I'm flat because it was only five hours ago that England were in control. The pitch was doing a bit, Australia were bowling quite nicely.

If you look back to the 2023 series, the mistakes that were made there, fast forward to last summer against India. From a position of dominance, today to lose nine wickets in that middle session and to lose wickets off big drives from big players, the same mistake two years later. Are we learning? This England side at the worst possible time, with the perfect team for these conditions, made the same mistakes.

The batting in the first innings wasn't good enough and it was the same mistakes from two years ago. The outfields here are so big, you just hit it into the gaps and run for ones and two. Primarily, the batting line-up have gone out there and played baseball. There's no Cummins or Hazlewood, perfect conditions and the batters have gone out there and let the team down.

Image source, Getty Images

England captain Ben Stokes talking to Test Match Special: "I'm shellshocked a little bit, wide eyed after that to see what unfolded, particularly after the first day. Our third innings with the bat then to see what Head did with the bat. It's hard to settle in with plans when you look up and the runs are coming down quickly."

"We were very confident having a 200 run lead for Australia to chase. The way that the wicket was playing was tough. There was a lot in it for the bowlers. Looking back on it, if you're the one out the with the opportunity in the middle, you've got to make sure the mentality that you've never had enough. The ones that had success were the ones who were brave enough to face the ball."

Michael Vaughan
Former England captain on BBC Radio 5 Sports Extra

People will start to look at the preparation for the batters. I don't have a problem with them playing one game. It's more that they had one game on a pitch that bounces knee high. Whether they like it or not, all these conversations are going to come back to England.

It's amateurish if England don't go out and practice between now and then. What's the harm in going out and playing with a pink ball when they're about to play with a pink ball. They're cricketers, I'm not silly for suggesting that by playing more cricket they'll get better.

England have got the tools and they've got the talent but it's never easy coming to play down under. I'll be very interested to see what happens but it's very difficult to go 0-1 down in Australia.

Srinivas Vijaykumar
CricViz analyst

This is the sixth Ashes Test to have finished in two days, and first time in 256 Ashes Tests in 104 years:

• Lord's, Jul 1888 - Australia won by 61 runs
• The Oval, Aug 1888 - England won by an innings and 137 runs
• Manchester, Aug 1888 - England won by an innings and 21 runs
• The Oval, Aug 1890 - England won by 2 wickets
• Nottingham, May 1921 - Australia won by 10 wickets
• Perth, Nov 2025 - Australia won by 8 wickets

Travis Head speaking to TNT Sport: "Good start. they're a seriously good outfit, and we couldn't let Starc-y getting 7-58 slip.

"First game of the series to set the tone. I feel sorry for the 60,000 who were due to come here tomorrow.

"They've got serous fast bowling. I just tried to hit down the breeze. I knew I was going to get tested in all departments, when I got 50-60 I could feel the momentum.

"I got 99 here a few years ago, I've wasted a couple. It was a pretty food wicket, day two, nice not having to bat day four or five.

"We're 1-0 up, we're going to Brisbane, if that's anything to go by it's going to be a hell of a series."

On whether he's processed his innings: "No, not even close."

On opening: "I was happy to do it, it doesn't bother me too much. I sort of floated the idea, nice to play a role. Coach, captain [decided he'd open]. We threw some ideas around the room. I was pretty keen to do it. Quite easily could have been out in the first over, didn't really matter it was the right process, right way to go about it.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC Chief Cricket Commentator on Test Match Special

The question for England is what they are going to do between now and the start of the next Test. Surely they'll have to play some cricket between now and then.

This feels like an ODI at the moment.

We'll be bringing you all the reaction, talking points, analysis and highlights Perth.

Don't go anywhere as we pick over the bones of this one.

Phil Tufnell
Former England spinner on BBC Test Match Special

England's batting will have to be poured over and looked at. I think they just didn't quite find their rhythm in that second innings.

Simon Mann
BBC Test Match Special commentator

What a remarkable afternoon, we won't forget the two days here.

The players of England and Australia shake hands.

Ben Stokes, inevitably, cuts a dejected figure. How can he pick his players up from here?

Australia's players are cock-a-hoop.

Phil Tufnell
Former England spinner on BBC Test Match Special

It is a body blow.

Jonathan Agnew
BBC Chief Cricket Commentator on Test Match Special

That is a quite remarkable victory from Australia who started the day a considerable amount behind England. Travis Head came out and made mockery of that England total. That will be a devastating blow for England.