This was not only my first visit to the Long Paws Comedy Club, but also to the aptly named Little Theatre in Wells. In fact, this quaint old fashioned venue was so tiny, I had a problem finding it! In my opinion, standup comedy feels more comfortable, and thrives better, in smoky, seedy clubs with people huddled round dimly lit tables, rather than the more formal setting of a theatre with everyone packed into rows. Nevertheless, as soon as the comedy began, I forgot the environment and enjoyed the laughs. Dave Ward Compere for the evening was the larger-than-life, self-effacing Dave Ward, who, despite an outwardly friendly demeanour, immediately began singling out victims from the audience (albeit with the slightly annoying habit of referring to everyone as fella). I felt he didn't always maximise his possible potential, when verbally sparring with his prey - he sometimes left the outcome a bit flat and disappointing. Dave's actual gags weren't always PC (which is no bad thing), yet they were relatively inoffensive at the same time, with cracks about performing in front of a Tourette's crowd, a blind psychic on breakfast TV, or making the choice between his girlfriend and ice cream. It also appeared that his enthusiasm had waned somewhat towards the end of the evening. Alex Horne First act was Alex Horne from Sweden, or was that Swindon? From the outset he delivered, advising on how upon being informed by his agent of a gig in one of the biggest venues in Wells, he was ecstatic at the prospect of playing the Millennium Stadium, until he realised his error. His material was both engaging and amusing, but any script he may have had went pretty much right out the window early on. There was an hilarious misunderstanding regarding a lady with a cough in the front row, some toilet humour (humour about toilets that is!), which incorporated an incident in a service station toilet on the way to the gig, alongside a bizarre discussion about his mate who prefers to perform on the toilet facing the cistern, all of which eventually led to this segment being monopolised by a member of the audience. Later, his routine was again hijacked, this time by a septuagenarian heckler who demanded jokes incorporating Cathedral City Cheddar. Alex handled this brilliantly and very quick-wittedly - maybe the guy was crackers! Finally, a Justin Timberlake-style beatbox routine, which showed some great promise, went totally and irreparably wrong, when the CD player malfunctioned - the set ended in chaos. Papa CJ Next up was Papa CJ, a youthful, Oxford-educated comic from Calcutta who is rumoured to be a direct descendent of the Maharaja of Merebaapkaraj. He also started the charity One Child, which helps educate children in rural areas of India. He had been previously been booked to perform at an earlier Long Paws night, but had been left stranded in India. Intriguingly, his material pretty much echoed that of the stereotypical, bigoted white male comedians that used to pervade comedy in the 70s, but from an Asian perspective. This worked well, as he attacked the extremities of both Asian culture and British culture, and how each views the other. Tales of Indian call centres, taxi drivers, corner shops and sweatshops abounded, alongside comparisons between Indian and British princesses. Due to the pace of his delivery, which was confident and self-assured, I guess he leaves little scope for hecklers to get a word in edgeways. My one criticism of him, however, was that his act came across as a little too polished and over-rehearsed, as though he'd spent long hours perfecting it. It therefore lacked any feeling of spontaneity. Hattie Hayridge Finally, Hattie Hayridge. Hattie is a well-established and seasoned standup, as well as being famous for her role as the computer Holly in the BBC's Red Dwarf. I admit to not being a fan of Red Dwarf, nor have I ever seen her live before, so I wasn't sure what to expect. 'How strange?' I thought to myself, as she shuffled on stage wearing a strange combination of clothes: a sleeveless black dress, with a totally mismatching pair of purple elbow-length gloves. It soon became apparent, however, that these were not gloves at all, but violet arms and hands caused by poor circulation in cold weather. Perhaps she would have been more comfortable wearing an overcoat, scarf and mittens. Hattie's material was delivered in a quiet, nervous, deadpan manner as she fiddled with her hair, while rambling incoherently. She appeared lost and out of place, and, at times, as though she suffered a series of petit mal seizures. I was not quite sure if she really is a miserable, world-weary, put-upon, downtrodden creature, or whether this is all part of the act. Nevertheless, her material was excellent. Close attention was paid to the woes of living in the 21st century, the difference between the town and the country, and whether drive-through McDonald's should be part of the practical driving test. Mad cow disease is not so hard to believe, when you consider that in their natural environment, cattle don't tuck into the brains of sheep. Herds of cows don't lay in wait, ready to ambush flocks of sheep in the Serengeti. GM foods also came under examination. "Why do they need to put a fish gene in tomatoes?" she asks. "Does it need to breathe underwater?" Living in the postcode area H5 N1, with the imminent threat of an avian flu pandemic, she has fearfully thrown away her Toilet Duck. All in all, this was a varied bill, with a high standard of acts. Should you be interested in giving it a shot, the next show is on Sunday 7 May, 2006 and features Laurence Clark and Stephen Grant who are both airing hour-long Edinburgh preview shows. | 
