 | Guide Entry: Planet Earth
by Frank Rickett
Primary form of Government: in fact there are four: democratic, communist, dictatorship and anarchist. Democracies promote the idea that everyone is free to choose who to follow, but you must follow the person who most people vote to follow. Communism on the other hand says that everyone wants to follow the same leader, so no need for the vote. Dictatorships aren't interested in what people actually want, and so simplify the process of government even further. Anarchists believe you should tie a dog to a piece of string, and follow that.
Principal religious belief: in order to get to heaven, you must be good to one another. In particular, you should not steal from or kill each other.
Military conflicts: everywhere. The reason being that everyone wants to grab everything that belongs to everyone else, and then shoot them.
Economy: historically based on barter. For example, 'I'll give you two snurtles for your one meep'. This has evolved into today's complex credit model of exchange. For example, 'you give me the meep, and I'll see you later'.
Technological index: elementary. Actually this category is usually reserved for species who have at least mastered the basics of light speed travel, or can provide a greater than two year guarantee with their washing machines, and so this classification needs to be revised; downwards.
Dominant species: Dolphins. While, technically, Dolphins are the most intelligent species on Earth, in practice it's safer to claim that it's 'Mankind' while actually visiting the planet, otherwise you run the risk of being shot and having someone run off with your snurtles.
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