Bestselling children's writer, poet and broadcaster Michael Rosen has written this specially commissioned verse about the myriad forms our current vernacular takes.
Michael Rosen's Verse
Following a visit to Britain, a Martian reports back to the leader on the subject of slang and dialect
It's not crabs who are crabby No one says 'lav' A baby's often the babby And they keep saying chav.
I thought parky means you're parked They said I was barking They got narked when I barked Which doesn't mean narking.
The nippers didn't nip It's not buffers who are buff Chipper isn't 'more chip' She's never down the duff
An odd-jobber can have clobber You can clobber an odd-jobber An odd-jobber can be clobbered But your clobber's not jobbered
You can have a take-over and a make-over A take-away but not a make-away You could get away with a take-over You can have a take-off and a get-away Or make off with a take-away The make-over could be tacky The take-off could be wacky Which would make you wacko That's barking. Not barko. There's no barko, there is 'baccy' Which isn't barking, it's tobacco I said tobarko? They said, tobacco Tobarko, tobacco; tobacco, tobarko, Let's call the whole thing off...
Bestselling children's writer and poet Michael Rosen has written a specially commissioned verse about the myriad forms our current vernacular takes. Follow this link to read the poem.
THE PRESENTER
Dermot Murnaghan has spent most of his career in broadcast journalism. Before joining the BBC, he spent more than a decade fronting ITV's national news bulletins from London. He joined the BBC in the Autumn of 2002, becoming Breakfast's main presenter immediately Read Dermot's article on Word 4 Word
Bestselling children's writer and poet Michael Rosen has written a specially commissioned verse about the myriad forms our current vernacular takes. 
Dermot Murnaghan has spent most of his career in broadcast journalism. Before joining the BBC, he spent more than a decade fronting ITV's national news bulletins from London. He joined the BBC in the Autumn of 2002, becoming Breakfast's main presenter immediately