Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Now Confessions is back on BBC Radio 2 Drivetime. Read a Confession below, then Send Simon Your Confession

Dear Simon,

For many years I have been listening and enjoying your confessions with the guilt of somebody who desperately needs to 'fess up' to something that happened 40 years ago. The 'incident' happened at a Technical High School for Boys in the South of England, a friend of mine, let's call him "Paul", was a guy always playing practical jokes and getting into trouble.

One day he came into school with his latest jape - he would pick on some unfortunate individual and relate that he saw a documentary on TV that said that the hand, positioned with the fingers pointing downwards like a crab, could withstand enormous forces. To prove this he would put his hand on the desk and ask for it to be hit by his victim, after an initial 'hard tap' he would goad the person and say 'come on that wasn't a hard hit - really go for it', to which the unknowing lad would give it his best - unfortunately Paul would remove his hand at the last moment and the victim would smash his hand into the hard surface - to every onlookers amusement.

At lunchtime Paul picked on his latest victim - a particularly Neanderthal individual who would certainly try his best to hurt his target. If I could set the scene - our dining hall had dinner tables allowing 5 people each side and after eating was finished the plates would be passed down to the end and that person would take the pile of plates back to the kitchens. I was on the end of one table and Paul was in the same place on the next table to the right of me.

Anyway the challenge was issued to 'Shrek' and the scene commenced, meanwhile on my table all the desert plates were being passed down to me, one of which being a full plate of sloppy custard. So the perfect opportunity arose - all the lads on my table were looking left to pass the plates down and all the guys on Paul's table were looking right watching his 'trick'. I saw the 'victim' launching his hardest hammer towards Paul's hand and with amazing timing/luck I threw the bowl of custard down their table and it took the place of the target to which the fist hit the edge of the plate and spun it 20 feet into the air with its contents spewing out everywhere like a 'Catherine Wheel' firework.

Well - the whole place went berserk, I , realising this would lead to certain recriminations, took the opportunity to disappear and take the plates back to the kitchen, leaving the teachers to sort out the culprit which of course was strongly denied by everyone. To this day I look back and chuckle at the scene, however my mirth was curtailed when all of the blameless individuals were frog marched off to the headmaster and after nobody owned up they were summarily caned.

I hope all the hapless chaps can forgive me - but it was a real corker!

Richard