Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Now Confessions is back on BBC Radio 2 Drivetime. Read a Confession below, then Send Simon Your Confession

Dear Simon,

Do you remember when the man at the door came from Post Office Telephones? My story goes back that far; in fact it goes back to the late 1960s or very early 1970s. The story, as told to me some years ago by an older colleague was based in one of those mysterious old GPO buildings. So, to the story:

One of the people at this place, let's call him Tom, went for a walk one lunchtime and passed a certain men's outfitter's and hire shop. This was a time when even city gents were bowing to fashion so someone at the shop had decided it was time to dispose of old-fashioned items, among which was a large stock of bowler hats. Tom used to love watching 'The Avengers' and had always fancied himself in a bowler hat so, when he saw they were on sale at the knock-down price of ten shillings, he was delighted to buy one. Better still, the shop would even monogram the hat inside for you. Proudly, Tom returned to work wearing his new bowler hat and a half-suppressed smile of pride.

Bill, let's call him Bill anyway, was there to greet Tom on his return. He expressed admiration for Tom's new headgear and told him how good he looked in it. Tom went off to work and Bill went to find the others. He had an idea.

Half an hour later, Bill presented himself at the shop with a ten-bob note (the proceeds of a whip-round) and bought another hat, bearing Tom's monogram but three sizes bigger than the original. Quietly he stole into work, swapped the hats over on the peg and hid Tom's real hat in his locker.

Bill and his colleagues positioned themselves as discreetly as possible near Tom's hat peg when it became time to go home, pretending to be busy or in deep conversation. Tom approached the peg, put his coat on and proudly placed the bowler hat on his head. Of course, it went right down over his ears. Bill and the others shuffled away to snigger to themselves while Tom inspected the hat, saw his name inside and tried it on again, several times. Eventually Tom went and found some newspaper, folded it up and placed it round inside the brim so he could wear the oversized hat perched on his small head.

In the morning Tom reappeared and hung his hat and coat up. Bill waited his chance until later in the day and, in a quiet moment, swapped the hats over, but putting the newspaper inside the original hat. Home-time came and his colleagues hung around again to watch Tom trying to jam his hat on his head and looking in consternation at the hat and in the mirror. After several tries, Tom took the paper out, placed the hat on his head and it was a perfect fit.

The next day, when no one was around, Bill did the dirty deed again; this time putting the big hat on the peg and hiding Tom's original. The procedure was repeated the day after as well and each time his colleagues watched Tom trying to jam a hat on his head or having it fall over his eyes. On the fourth day Tom didn't appear for work. His wife called in to say that poor Tom was off sick; he had gone to the doctor with a worrying condition, explaining that, while he felt well in himself, for some reason his head kept shrinking and growing!

Simon, I have to admit that I didn't know Tom, or Bill for that matter, but I have reason to believe the story to be true. If it is, do you think your listeners would grant absolution to Bill who, though he made Tom a little concerned about his health, did him no lasting harm, helped to deplete a stock of outdated merchandise and gave the world a story.

Ian