'Am I on a red card?'

“Coyler!” says the Ballymena Bog Attendant. “Am I on a red card or something?”

“No!” Sean says.

“I’ve sent you numerous messages in the past couple of months but zippo mention!” says the Ballymena Bog Attendant. “Maybe I need to become a painter, gardener or lollipop man! Then I’d get a daily request. I would accept any song by Kris Kristofferson–then we can move on.”

“As a matter of fact,” Sean says, “my producer and I, Brian, were talking about you just now. And we said, whatever has happened to the Ballymena Bog Attendant? We were worried about you. It upset Brian, and it upset me as well.”

With music from The Drifters, Dwight Yoakam, Blue Mink, and more.