And then I Receive a Call

Lana Estemirova grew up in Chechnya in the 1990s, the daughter of the human rights activist Natalya Estemirova, who was assassinated when Lana was only 15. This memoir is dedicated to her mother.

Lana tells the story of her childhood, and what happened to her after her mother died. There was a powerful bond between mother and daughter, ‘an invisible thread that could never be broken, not even by death’. Sometimes Lana is sent to live with relatives, but wherever possible Natalya brings her young daughter to live with her in Grozny - and so Lana is able to give us a vivid child’s eye view of what it is like to grow up in a warzone. There is terrifying danger, but also a lot of fun, and even deep happiness.

This final episode opens on 15th July 2009, when Lana is fifteen. Her mother Natalya is now an award-winning human rights journalist, intent on recording Russian war crimes and interviewing torture survivors. On that morning when Lana wakes, her mother has already left for work, but she doesn’t reply to her daughter’s texts. Time after time Lana tries to reach her.

‘I take a bus to the city centre, trying to get through to Mum every fifteen minutes. At the office, most of her colleagues are there, but Mum is nowhere to be seen. The clock is ticking: 3pm, 4pm, 5… Everyone reassures me, “Your mother will be fine”. Why tell me this? Someone suggests I stay with one of Mum’s colleagues for the night.

I scroll back through my endless texts. “Where are you?” “Why aren’t you answering?” “Call me back!!!”

With shaking fingers, I type “Please, live!”

Read by Ell Potter

Produced and abridged by Elizabeth Burke

Studio Production and Sound Design by Jon Calver

Executive Producer: Sara Davies

A Loftus Media production for BBC Radio 4