Matt Lucas sits in

I’ve been a journalist all my life. I hate to admit that good news rarely sells papers but gossip certainly does. It has been said that strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and weak minds discuss people. There is also some truth in what Oscar Wilde believed - the only thing more annoying than having people talk about you is having no one talk about you. As you know, gossiping is as old as time itself.

In ancient Greece the philosopher Socrates held integrity in high esteem. One day an acquaintance met the philosopher and greeted him: “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?” Socrates replied, “Before you talk to me about my friend, let’s examine what you’re about to say. I call it the triple filter. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me about my friend is true?” “Well no,” the man said, “actually I just heard it and wanted to pass it on.”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”

“On the contrary, I want to warn you about him.”

“So” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something bad about my friend but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though because there is one filter left – the filter of Usefulness. Will what you want to tell me about my friend be useful to me?”

“No I don’t think it will be.”

“Well,” said Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither true nor good and that it is not even useful, why tell me at all?”

That’s how Socrates gained the reputation of being wise. Over the years I have learned to really respect people who tell me about the virtues others have, rather than their vices. Such people don’t feel the need to gossip; they are never jealous because they are content with their own lives. Remind yourself that anyone who gossips to you will surely gossip about you.