6. Fly Flamford

Jeff and Andy are awaiting their departure from Winifred Holtby International Airport, formerly RAF Flamford Heath, with a major repurposing in the 90s as Flamin’ Wheels Go-Kart Centre.

They’ve taken advantage of The Flamford Bugle’s 2-for-1 ticket offer to mark the “exciting new route” to Rome-Maremma by low budget airline AlexAir.

They’re soon joined by Fish Shop Frank, Copper Kettle proprietor and nervous flyer Joyce Rickles and Flamford’s Number One aged curmudgeon, Mr Truepenny - all of them with an eye for a bargain and all of them fellow 2-for-1 ticketeers.

Frank has already started on the pints (“What? I’m on holiday”), Joyce has been on a Flying-With-Confidence course (“My mantra is ‘Turnips’”) and Mr Truepenny is behaving more oddly than normal (“I dropped an E earlier and I think it’s kicking in”). They soon find cheapest is not always best.

As the flight delays mount, so tempers rise and questions are asked.

When’s the plane leaving? What is Frank’s secret? Who is Simon? And why does WH Smith sell water in litre bottles which you cannot possibly finish before you reach the security gate?

Created and written by Ian Brown and James Hendrie.

Jeff ...... Philip Jackson
Joyce Rickles ...... Alison Steadman
Fish Shop Frank ...... Mark Benton
Mr Truepenny ...... Rasmus Hardiker
Andy ...... James Northcote
Nadya ...... Shobna Gulati

Director: Gordon Kennedy

An Absolutely production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in July 2020.