Fearne Cotton sits in, with Katherine Ryan

From Father Brian D’Arcy, a Catholic Passionist priest:

I have the words: “Never pray in a room without windows” taped to my laptop. It reminds me that it’s my duty to live in the real world. Prayer is a dialogue with the world - not an escape from it.

I meet a lot of angry people in my ministry. For sure, there is much to be angry about. That’s to be expected, as the future becomes more and more uncertain. Yet unless I deal with my anger in a healthy way, it will destroy me. I need to work at being a happier person rather than just praying for my anger to be healed.

So how can we make the world a happier place? In my experience, simple things work best. If I want to heal hurts, I become a better listener. The art of conversation lies in listening.

The simplest gift I can give to anyone is my best attention, especially when it comes from the heart. When people trust us enough to open up to us, the fact that we really care about them will be more healing than trying to come up with answers.

The most important part of communication is hearing what hasn’t been said. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ to someone in pain, and meaning it, is a powerful healer in itself. A silent empathy has more power to heal than the most well-intentioned words, the Bible reminds us.

We know how disappointing it is to knock on a friend’s door and get no reply, or to ring a number with an urgent message and get an engaged tone. That’s what happens when someone I trust doesn’t really listen to me. When we get a ‘busy signal’ we hang up. Sometimes we may be tempted to just give up.

A Native American proverb says “to truly understand another human being, we must first walk in his moccasins.” Remember, though, that we cannot walk in another’s moccasins until we take off our own shoes; it takes a mighty effort to leave aside our own agenda.

We need courage to walk together on life’s journey. Psalm 23 says it all: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid because you are with me.”