Episode 3

Sam Bain's adaptation of his own darkly comic satirical novel about Pierre Stone, a man so engrossed in the lives of TV stars that he completely ignores the disintegration of his own life.

This time, Pierre's attempts to attract the attention of Strictly Come Dancing's Tess Daly leads to him dropping a line to Claudia Winkleman.

Perhaps, he thinks, if he can play them off against each other Tess will get jealous and realise that she really ought to reply to at least one of his fan messages.

In his efforts to get Tess jealous enough to notice he exists, Pierre also recruits local ne'er-do-well Vicky to take part in a rather unlikely game of celebrity Twister...

Alex Macqueen stars as Pierre.

With:

Lolly Adefope

Producer: Gareth Edwards

A BBC Studios production for BBC Radio 4, first broadcast in November 2017.