2. Health of the Nation

Paul Sinha is proudly British. He also loves a quiz.

So you would have thought that the UK Citizenship Test, which newcomers to this country must pass to become citizens, would have been right up his street.

But the questions in the 2012 and 2013 Home Office guides seem either bizarrely easy - "Where is Welsh most widely spoken?" - or infuriatingly vague - "What happened in the First World War?"

So Paul has created his own test, to better reflect the things that aspiring migrants should understand before they can call themselves British.

In this episode, he deals with the health of the nation - our diet, our drinking habits and our athletic prowess. And he tests the studio audience on their knowledge, with those that answer incorrectly being deported.

Written and performed by Paul Sinha.

Producer: Ed Morrish

First broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in August 2013.