The Noticeboard of Doom

Written by Phil Whelans

Day 27 and the colonists are torn between Richard's newsletter and Archer's hot pants. And which is more dangerous - Brian's monkey wrench or Lillian's "vitamin" drink"?

A sitcom set on a shiny new planet where we ask the question - if humankind were to colonise space, is it destined to succumb to self-interest, prejudice and infighting? (By the way, the answer's "yes". Sorry.)

Welcome to the colony. We're aware that having been in deep cryosleep for 73 years, you may be in need of some supplementary information.

Personnel
Unfortunately, Burrows the leader of the colony has died on the voyage, so his Number 2, Brian (Nicholas Lyndhurst) is now in charge. He's a nice enough chap, but no alpha male, and his desire to sort things out with a nice friendly meeting infuriates the colony's Chief Physician Lillian (Vicki Pepperdine - "Getting On"), who'd really rather everyone was walking round in tight colour-coded tunics and saluting each other. She's also in charge of Project Adam, the plan to conceive and give birth to the first colony-born baby. Unfortunately, the two people hand-picked for this purpose - Carol and Richard - were rather fibbing about being a couple, just to get on the trip.

Add in an entirely unscrupulous Chief Scientist, Mason and also Archer, an idiot maintenance man who believes he's an "empath" rather than a plumber, and you're all set to answer the question - if humankind were to colonise space, is it destined to succumb to self-interest, prejudice and infighting? (By the way, the answer's "yes". Sorry.)

Produced & directed by David Tyler
A Pozzitive Television Ltd Production for BBC Radio 4.