5 communication tricks scammers use to lure you in

It might look like a perfectly ordinary message.

It could appear to be from someone you trust, or it could be an urgent phone call that catches you off guard.

Whatever the method of communication, the goal is the same: fraudsters want your money.

Dr Elisabeth Carter – criminologist, forensic linguist, and BBC Radio 4's Scam Secrets expert – drills down into the top five language tricks and techniques that fraudsters deploy to steal your cash.

The top tactic, that overarches everything, is a sense of urgency, says Dr Lis.

“You’ll feel compelled to feel like something is urgent and you have to act.”

But the criminals may not be overtly telling you to act swiftly or to hurry.

Actually, the most compelling sense of urgency is when you feel that you want to act quickly for your own preservation or that of somebody you care about, Dr Lis explains.

“It feels like it comes from you.”

In one of the Scam Secrets episodes focusing on so-called delivery scams, the victim believes they are buying their dream car at a remarkable price.

They are informed – calmly and politely – that the car will be loaded onto the transport for delivery, “as soon as payment is received.”

The victim is not told to rush, or that the deal will expire, but a distorted sense of urgency is in-built, Dr Lis explains.

Urgency can also be clearly seen in the Hello Mum fraud, where an individual claiming to be your child contacts you on WhatsApp, on an unknown number, saying their phone is broken.

They are in trouble, and need money.

It creates a “visceral fear,” Dr Lis explains: “Your child is in danger and you go and you respond straight away.”

This scam is particularly effective because the fraudsters don’t need to know your name or any of your details.

They rely on the victim to fill in the gaps – which is really persuasive, psychologically.

The antidote to this sense of urgency is having someone else around to talk to. If you are in emergency mode, with tunnel vision, seek a second opinion, urges Dr Lis.

If the bank phoned and asked you to keep it to yourself, that would be a huge red flag to most people.

But fraudsters will achieve secrecy and isolation in other ways, Dr Lis explains.

Being on the phone to a fake bailiff, or having a fevered back and forth on WhatsApp with someone claiming to be your child, means that often people do not have time to confer with another person – isolation is implicit.

Dr Lis says it is important to remember that only a criminal – or someone who doesn't have your best interests at heart – would insist you stay on the phone.

“No legitimate company, organisation, family member, will mind if you take steps to try and protect yourself and to make sure that everything’s real,” says the criminologist.

With Romance Fraud, secrecy is much more explicit and “baked in,” says Dr Lis.

The victim thinks they are in a private relationship.

“Quite often the perpetrator will make themselves look as if they’re reluctantly vulnerable,” says the linguist.

They will kick things off seeming very capable and then start saying things like, “You're the only one I can tell this to.”

Scripting is a very useful and persuasive tool for fraudsters, according to Dr Lis.

If the perpetrators are impersonating bank staff, they’ll carefully script what it is you need to do to make yourself “safe.”

Listen to more on banking fraud on Scam Secrets.

Scripting around ‘the perfect partner’ is also very important in Romance Fraud, Dr Lis explains.

They might make statements like, “My partner will walk through fire for me.”

It is about grand gestures which, later on in the interaction, will be used against the victim if they show hesitancy.

“They will paint the victim – who's trying to protect themselves – as being disloyal or untrustworthy themselves. They'll flip that script against them,” says Lis.

“This is where there’s a big link to domestic abuse and coercive control, where the victim in romance fraud in particular will feel responsible for the psychological and physical well-being of the fraudster.”

Silence is a tactic where, in any type of relationship fraud, a perpetrator withdraws contact.

With a pause in communication, the victim begins to worry if their loved one is OK.

They are then immensely grateful when the fraudster gets back in contact.

“You're very willing, very set up psychologically, to then go in and help,” states Dr Lis. “That's really useful for criminals.”

In other cases, you could be trying to buy something, have been told it is yours, and then all goes quiet.

You might begin to wonder if it has gone to someone else, or if your money has got stuck.

“You start to create scenarios in your own head. This is what the criminals want,” Dr Lis states.

“It doesn't raise those red flags, because it’s your thinking rather than them telling you.”

“Of course, it’s come from them because they've created that psychological instability.”

Silence is also the kind of tactic that, if you complain about it, seems like an overreaction, says the criminologist.

“If you feel like you’re being overly sensitive, you blame yourself.”

It is a technique that, again, links with domestic abuse and coercive control, says Dr Lis.

“You probably won't find credibility on many top five lists of red flags, but this is almost like the anti-red flag,” explains Dr Lis.

“You feel like the person is credible and there’s no reason to suspect that it’s a fraud – and this is really what all criminals, all these fraudsters, want to happen.”

“They want you to not suspect at all, and they’ll do it in a number of ways.”

“One of the most blatant [red flags] is when they start talking about scammers and fraudsters themselves,” explains the linguist.

In Romance Fraud, where it’s particularly pervasive, the perpetrator might say early on, “These online spaces, they’re rife with scammers, aren't they? Someone just tried to take my money.”

This way the criminal is putting you in this full, yet false, sense of security.

Fraudsters will also use “genre mapping” to make their requests seem credible, says Dr Lis.

When you are purchasing a car or setting up a bank account, there are certain documents that you would expect to sign, so the fraudster will ask you to jump through similar legitimate-seeming hoops.

Another technique is asking the victim to confirm a series of personal facts – details the caller already knows.

Having this information makes them appear credible.

Before you know it, they are asking for the security number on your card – and you are giving it unquestioningly.

Remember that you cannot always trust your gut, says Dr Lis.

“You might not feel weird about a conversation.”

But a lack of alarm bells does not mean its legit, she says: “You will not necessarily see a red flag.”

It is crucial to understand that being defrauded is not the victim’s fault, Dr Lis says.

“It's not stupidity, it’s grooming,” she insists.

“We’re not going to get rid of fraud completely, but we can make people slightly safer.”

“The number one way of doing that is to always talk to someone before making a decision. It’s a bit of extra hassle, but it’s nowhere near the amount of hassle that you’ll get after you’ve become a victim of fraud.”

A number to save

If you get a suspicious call from someone claiming to be bank staff, just hang up and – on a different device – phone 159, Dr Lis advises.

It’s a national initiative from Stop Scams UK, that most high street banks have signed up to. You simply tell the switchboard which organisation you want, and you will be safely transferred.

“It is a bit like a lifeline,” says Lis. “It’s something you could just write on a piece of paper and put on your fridge.”

Another good tactic is to say, “I just don’t buy over the phone.”

It cuts through the awkwardness of questioning someone’s credibility.

It is like putting a seatbelt on before you drive, says the expert: “You don't expect to be in a crash. This is not a comment on what's going to happen that day. It’s just something you do.”