The traumatic story of the mysterious disappearance

At the beginning of November 2016, an advert appeared in the “lost and found” section of a well-known website. Among the photographs of misplaced smartphones, recovered wedding rings and lost drones, was one of a smiling young man, holding a new-born baby. It was captioned, “Father and partner missing”.

In The Untold, Kirsty* shares the traumatic story of the mysterious disappearance of her partner, Zack* and the repeated setbacks she experienced in getting information from the authorities to trace his whereabouts.

For Kirsty, what seemed like a completely typical morning, turned into the beginning of a harrowing journey. Several days before Bonfire Night, her partner of five years, and the father of their five-week-old child, unexpectedly left in mysterious circumstances. On the morning of Friday 28 October, 2016, Kirsty’s partner, 28-year-old Zack, rushed to get ready for work; little did she know that it might be the last time she would see him. She says, “I really should have just got up off the settee and waved to him… I’m really sad that I didn’t.”

The troubling first sign of things to come…

After Zack sent Kirsty an unexpected text message saying that he was leaving, alarm bells started to ring for her. Zack – who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder – had made no effort to pack his belongings or collect the medication he used to control depression. Desperately striving to remain optimistic, Kirsty struggled to battle the worst possible thoughts. She says, “A couple of days ago, I just had this feeling that something is really, really wrong. And I just haven’t been able to shift it. If he gets so low, is he going to do something stupid?”

A glimmer of hope?

After calling the child support agency, Kirsty was informed that she would receive regular payments for their child. The unexpected development raised hope and confusion at the same time. Crucially, it meant that her partner – whom she first met at university – was alive, but working and living somewhere else. This left Kirsty having to contend with the thought that Zack’s disappearance was a premeditated act and that his disorder was not the root cause. She was overcome with a feeling of relief, but also a sense of dread. Was this an act of betrayal meant to torment her?

Turning detective

Not giving up hope of a completely rational explanation, the determined mother-cum-sleuth scoured online accounts in the hope of finding any small lead. Trying to retain a balance of normality for the sake of her children, her detective work finally offered a potential clue: the possible new address that Zack was living at. Despite Kirsty’s enthusiasm, her brother had a much less optimistic view of the situation: “If he’s working, has an address, and he’s planned to do this, he is obviously of pretty sound mind and judgment – to an extent there is a mental health argument, but I don’t think what he was going through excuses his morality.” Her brother also raised the possibility of a link between a previous gambling problem and the unexplained disappearance.

Kirsty’s determination to uncover the truth also led her to a chilling discovery: Zack was using new email addresses, bizarrely constructed from variations of the couple’s names.

Setting off on a journey

Kirsty travelled to Nottinghamshire to hone in on the new information acquired. Refusing to give up hope, she handed out flyers to members of the community and posted contact information at houses on the street where she thought Zack was living. She says, “I can’t believe I’m in this situation, that I’m here stuck in traffic with an eleven-week-old baby, chasing something that might not be there.”

At a dead end?

After a meeting with the police seven weeks after her emotional journey began, Kirsty was still struggling to find closure. The station sergeant told her that officers had visited Zack at his new address after a healthcare professional he had called reported a concern for his welfare. Much to Kirsty’s frustration, the visiting officers made the judgement that he was in a rational state of mind and did not require any medical treatment.

A breakthrough

Shortly after the frustrations of being at the police station, Kirsty received an unexpected call from Zack. He claimed that he had lost his memory and sought her help understanding the weeks following his disappearance. Having moved from city to city, Zack was looking to make sense of his actions and appeared to be acting rationally in seeking to communicate with his concerned family. Was this a significant stage in the journey back to normality? After finding out that Zack had been sectioned under the Mental Health Act, arrangements were made for Kirsty to collect him from the sheltered accommodation that he was living in.

Three months after his initial disappearance, Grace Dent visited the couple to get Zack’s account of the story.

Not the end of the journey, just the beginning…

Despite Zack now being home, the relationship needs to re-establish the trust which has been damaged. Kirsty says, “It’s hard to trust him. Leaving him alone with the baby is really hard.” She is hopeful that a sense of normality can return for the couple over time, but rules out searching for him if he disappears again…

Grace Dent tells the story of one woman's search to find her missing partner in The Untold.

* The names in this story have been changed

Stock images have been used in this article