Twenty signs that summer has arrived

Ah, summer. One swallow doesn’t make it, it’s all over too soon and in the UK it’s usually accompanied by hail. But when the sky is blue and the sun is beaming down on drowsy bumblebees, there’s nothing better. See if you agree with our signs of the British summer.

1. Every shop, from the post office to the dry cleaners, selling bags of charcoal.

2. People saying, “Oh well, that was summer then” every time a cloud appears.

3. The lazy slap of flip-flops on a tiled floor.

4. The difficulty of maintaining eye contact with your neighbour having seen unexpected bits of them in their garden.

5. Filling your drink with fruit.

6. Untangling miles of garden hose while shouting, “Which idiot did this?” and then remembering it was you last September.

7. Asking what the point of wasps is.

8. Hearing delirious shrieks followed by the inevitable howls of disappointment from patriotic sports fans through open windows.

9. Complaining that it is too hot then spending hundreds of pounds going somewhere hotter.

10. Starting July eating salads and watermelon, ending August on a diet of chips and ice cream.

11. Children sticking their heads in supermarket freezers to cool off.

12. Hearing 14 different ice-cream van chimes on a ten minute walk.

13. Getting incredibly hot bringing the fan down from the attic and then basking in the listless stream of lukewarm air it blows out together with the smell of burning dust.