Thar She Blows
by JP McMenamin

Aboard a North bound Icelandic whaler
Saw a little wind blown sailor
Singing shanties ‘bout the sea
While sipping a mug of earl grey tea

He looked so neat, so spick and span
With his marlin spike, grasped in his hand
So soft in the face as the gale did scream
He used a lot of Ponds cold cream.

To the astonishment of a plump seal pup
He began to add his virtues up
“I never drink, I never smoke
I never make a filthy joke

I never gamble , or drink strong wine
Or break wind, just to pass the time
I’m a model of the seven seas
And I don’t use a knife to eat my peas

I have one fault I do admit”
The seal pup listened with both brows knit
“When I leave the ship and become a land lubber
I can’t keep my hands off a woman with blubber”

The seal pup clapped its little flippers
What a tale to tell it’s nippers
Said the salt “I let my morals down
One rainy night in Derry town

The lady’s name was Big Fat Lily
Fat as a hog-fed hilly-billy
I felt a tingle in my toes
And yelled out loudly – ‘Thar she blows’

We came to an arrangement in that sea port town
I handed over half a crown
She grabbed me, by my soft white hand
And led me off to blubber land

Suddenly from the dark and gloom
I heard a mournful sad wee tune
Then a wee small boy I chanced to see
Singing ‘bout a wee boy up a tree.

Like Oliver Twist, he was pale and white

What was he doing out at night ?
An orphan, with a begging bowl

Which was full of chips and piece of sole.

“Don’t mind the urchin” Lily screamed
“Take me to the isle of dreams
Take me where the dolphins play

And little sailors always pay”

“I stood there shocked and so aghast
The Jolly Roger, at half mast
Could I corrupt the little child ?

I felt unclean, wild bad, defiled”

The small boy stood with staring eyes
Looking at Big Lily’s thighs
Then his little thoughts he seemed to gather

And said “Mister, is this, how’s your father ?”

I looked at his angelic face
A cherub, in this awful place
Could I corrupt his little mind

What thoughts would this night leave behind ?

He was probably marked down for a priest
A doctor, a teacher, at the least
Would I cause the child to leave this land ?

And join a hell bound drunk showband ?

I looked into his little eyes
Full of wonder, tears and sties
He looked at lily, oh so cute

And said : “Are you a prostitute ?”

I cried “My God what have I done?”
Corrupted someone’s nice wee son
I grabbed the half crown from Lily’s coat

Ran hell for leather for the boat

I heard the lad call out “Hey Mind”
“You’ve left your bit of stuff behind
Come back” he cried “and don’t mind me”

Mammy likes cold chips for tea”

Big Lily roared into the dawn
“Has the little sailor gone?”
Lilly went to turn another trick
Cause she lost her Moby Dick

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